GAP

[Jonni_Be_Good]

My sister in law was having a conversation about what GAP stands for, Gay and proud is what they were saying. I said there is nothing proud about being gay and that it is wrong. My sister in law said i should not be forcing my opinions on him as he is only 9yrs old. I said but its wrong.

I told my son after she had left, as I did not want to start a heated debate, that we should not hate people no matter what but being gay is not good and God made man & woman for a reason.

Am I doing wrong in being blunt?

Oh and I am not wanting to offend anyone with the above.

 

[Cristiano]

My sister in law was having a conversation about what GAP stands for, Gay and proud is what they were saying. I said there is nothing proud about being gay and that it is wrong. My sister in law said i should not be forcing my opinions on him as he is only 9yrs old. I said but its wrong.

I told my son after she had left, as I did not want to start a heated debate, that we should not hate people no matter what but being gay is not good and God made man & woman for a reason.

Am I doing wrong in being blunt?

Oh and I am not wanting to offend anyone with the above.

Your sister in law does not seem to understand what your responsibilities as a parent are. She does not seem to understand where her boundaries are, it is not up to her to decide the moral upbringing of your child. You have every right to tell her that you are the one responsible for the rearing of your child, please do so in a non confrontational way she is a human being that needs to be instructed with love and respect.

 

[Kal2012]

I thought GAP was a clothing store. Thanks for the heads up.

 

[Jonni_Be_Good]

Thanks for your reply Cristiano. I took a deep breath and let it go as I don’t want to argue about whats right.
I have so much work ahead of me as people say life is different now or i am taking it to far and to serious. I just want to make thing right with God by teaching my children the way i should of been taught and give them a good start in life as sin made me so unhappy in the long run.

So did I Kal. It must be some slang

 

[itsjustintime]

My sister in law was having a conversation about what GAP stands for, Gay and proud is what they were saying. I said there is nothing proud about being gay and that it is wrong. My sister in law said i should not be forcing my opinions on him as he is only 9yrs old. I said but its wrong.

I told my son after she had left, as I did not want to start a heated debate, that we should not hate people no matter what but being gay is not good and God made man & woman for a reason.

Am I doing wrong in being blunt?

Oh and I am not wanting to offend anyone with the above.

Of course you are doing something wrong. However, I don’t think it is what you suspect.

The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

If you believed you were being blunt the key word would be sensitivity. While the delivery may have been poor, your intention was definitely not wrong for 2 reasons.

(1) Parents are called by virtue of their marriage to be faithful to their wedding vows. “Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?” You tried to encourage your sister in law to be faithful to the law of the Church.

(2) A parent believing they know better than the Church or God on a particular issue fall victim to the sin of pride. You tried to admonish her from this which is a spiritual work of mercy.

I’d encourage prayerful reading of these verses in Sacred Scripture and the CCC to discern how best to handle this. Notice how God himself doesn’t even react, he actually allows homosexuality as a punishment.

Sacred Scripture Romans 1:25-28

25 because they exchanged God’s truth for a lie and have worshipped and served the creature instead of the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.

26 That is why God abandoned them to degrading passions:

27 why their women have exchanged natural intercourse for unnatural practices; and the men, in a similar fashion, too, giving up normal relations with women, are consumed with passion for each other, men doing shameful things with men and receiving in themselves due reward for their perversion.

28 In other words, since they would not consent to acknowledge God, God abandoned them to their unacceptable thoughts and indecent behaviour.

CCC 2358-2359

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

 

[Jonni_Be_Good]

Thank you Itsjustintime for your reply and showing me which part of scripture and the CCC that cover the issue. I shall pray and meditate on them.

I did tell my son that we are not to treat people bad no matter what. I just need to work on my approach to things. Is that what I am doing wrong?

 

[ClearWater]

I thought GAP was a clothing store. Thanks for the heads up.

It IS also a clothing store!

Your sister-in-law was overstepping her bounds there. (How long has that been going on?) You are the parent and have the right to decide what to teach your own child.

So it’s not okay for you, his father, to be “forcing his views upon him at 9 years of age”, but it’s okay for her, someone who is not his parent, to do so?

 

[Prodigal_Son]

My sister in law was having a conversation about what GAP stands for, Gay and proud is what they were saying. **I said there is nothing proud about being gay and that it is wrong. **My sister in law said i should not be forcing my opinions on him as he is only 9yrs old. I said but its wrong.

I told my son after she had left, as I did not want to start a heated debate, that we should not hate people no matter what but being gay is not good and God made man & woman for a reason.

Am I doing wrong in being blunt?

Oh and I am not wanting to offend anyone with the above.

I’m not really worried about your sister-in-law. I’m worried about your son. You seem to think the important thing is teaching him not to hate people, even if “they are gay and that is wrong”.

But suppose your son turns 11 or 12, and puberty sets in, and he finds himself attracted to boys instead of girls. This is not far-fetched – I grew up in a stable Catholic family and it happened to me. How can he possibly talk to you about this when you have clearly stated that “being gay is wrong”? And how can he possibly receive your love if he doesn’t open up to you?

Being gay isn’t wrong. Having sex with people of the same sex is wrong. There is a huge difference.

In this society, people define “being gay” as “being attracted to people of the same sex” But there is nothing wrong with that attraction; it’s just another temptation to sin.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

Your sister-in-law was overstepping her bounds there. (How long has that been going on?) You are the parent and have the right to decide what to teach your own child.

It depends. A parent does not have the right to teach a child that it is wrong to be tempted. In a similar way, parents do not have the right to teach a child that it’s OK to rape people. There are certain boundaries, and if I find my nephew or niece has been seriously misled by his or her parents, I will teach them otherwise.

The boundaries are based on harm for the child. If the parent says something that could conceivably harm the child, it is permissible to come in and help the child. If there is a marginal case, I think it’s generally best to defer to the parent. But only with great reluctance.

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

I thought GAP was a clothing store. Thanks for the heads up.

This is right up the with the old Internet rumor that Proctor and Gamble’s old logo was a homage to Satan. Snopes is your friend: GAP Stores began in the late 1960’s ad the name “GAP” was to refer to the “generation gap” – a popular phrase at that time as the leading edge of the “Baby Boomers” was just entering the workforce and was looking for smart casual clothes. Can’t we leave the fake conspiracy theories to the late-night radio crazies?

 

[Jonni_Be_Good]

I’m not really worried about your sister-in-law. I’m worried about your son. You seem to think the important thing is teaching him not to hate people, even if “they are gay and that is wrong”.

But suppose your son turns 11 or 12, and puberty sets in, and he finds himself attracted to boys instead of girls. This is not far-fetched – I grew up in a stable Catholic family and it happened to me. How can he possibly talk to you about this when you have clearly stated that “being gay is wrong”? And how can he possibly receive your love if he doesn’t open up to you?

Being gay isn’t wrong. Having sex with people of the same sex is wrong. There is a huge difference.

In this society, people define “being gay” as “being attracted to people of the same sex” But there is nothing wrong with that attraction; it’s just another temptation to sin.

You have got me wrong. I love my children and they feel comfortable talking to me and can confide in me. I do appreciate what you said and will correct myself to my son, that it’s the act that is wrong.

Teaching my children not to hate is not wrong from what I can make out, as God is love and also we can only love because God has aloud it.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

You have got me wrong. I love my children and they feel comfortable talking to me and can confide in me. I do appreciate what you said and will correct myself to my son, that it’s the act that is wrong.

Teaching my children not to hate is not wrong from what I can make out, as God is love and also we can only love because God has aloud it.

Oh, I certainly agree with teaching your children not to hate! I just meant that this was not the only important thing.

I am particularly sensitive to this issue because I grew up with a totally awesome mom, but I never even hinted at my struggle with same-sex attraction to her. And every time she said something about the culture wars and “gay people”, I felt like she was condemning me.

So I apologize if my words are too harsh, but they are rooted in compassion for those boys who are like I was.

 

[Jonni_Be_Good]

No need to apologise as I was asking if I was doing wrong. I have taken on board what you have said.

I just want the best for my children and I know, as well as you will, that sin will be a great burden. With what you and other people have said, it has helped as I am learning with God and family life.

Many thanks and God bless