Gay asexuals. A life of sin?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Codex
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I’m confused by a gay asexual. Gay defining what you find sexually attractive and asexual finding no sexual attraction. Sometimes I think we focus too much on defining ourselves by our sexuality and not just be content being a Child of God.
 
Mrchatsworth said:
Sometimes I think we focus too much on defining ourselves by our sexuality and not just be content being a Child of God.
Click to expand...
Even most religious people aren’t content just being a “Child of God.” They want to be a Catholic Child of God or a Baptist Child of God or a Presbyterian Child of God, etc. And many Americans want to be an American Child of God and not let any Mexican Children of God into the country.
 
Last edited:
I don’t want to be a Catholic Child of God. The only value “Catholic” has as a label is that it’s meant to be literally catholic.
 
I would be interested in an answer to this. Traditionally, it seems like the way Catholic teaching would have addressed something like this might be by conflating sexual and romantic attraction, maybe because they are so commonly experienced together.

On the face of it, it is unclear to me what wrong there could be at all in “romance” between two men, just like any other type of non-sexual relationship based on mutual attraction between anyone. But then again I also don’t really understand the reason homosexual activity is considered sinful so…I don’t know.
 
Last edited:
Well, this is a unique post. I’m straight and there is no question about it. I’m celibate and don’t watch porn and I have no desire for a meaningless sexual relationship with a woman. Again, I wouldn’t describe myself as gay because I’m not gay. Nor would I identify with asexual. I’m just celibate. The reason I make this decision of celibacy ever since 27 and I am now 38 is because I have an inheritable illness. So, while I could have children I wouldn’t want to bring someone into this world who may be at a disadvantage for illness. So, I’m celibate.

It’s not a burden to me to be celibate. I have many friends and a rich family life. Again, I don’t feel I’m missing out on anything. Again, I’m not a hypocrite I’m pro-life as well, hence my decisions in terms of celibacy and not risking a child. So, part of me being pro-life is not putting myself in situations where I am at risk of having a child even with contraception. If I did that I would be a pro-life hypocrite.

But definitely, I am not asexual but celibate. And then again Pope Francis has spoken out against the Holy Orders being used as a way to escape the world. That’s not their function. It’s not, “I have a gay son, I’m going to force the guy to be celibate by him becoming a priest.” That’s not their function.

In terms of yourself being in a gay relationship or friends being in a gay relationship and wanting them to be saved. Well, you have to work that out with a priest. I know there are gay themed Evangelical Churches. I also know other denominations address the issue differently then Catholics. Again, I’m not pushing anyone out of this religion but I don’t believe only Catholics are saved.

Just to emphasize, the secular world will say, “you are celibate something is wrong with you, hence you are sexually disordered and are termed asexual.” No. Me being celibate means I have more time for prayer, friends, family, nephews…etc…Again, I think this is how God intended my life. The alternative could be divorced with children and in the current state of the world, children who didn’t have a bright future. Also, I’m not superficial. That’s what happens when you give up the porn. Looks become meaningless, and what is meaningful is the relationship and the shared experience.
 
chercheur said:
On the face of it, it is unclear to me what wrong there could be at all in “romance” between two men, just like any other type of non-sexual relationship based on mutual attraction between anyone. But then again I also don’t really understand the reason homosexual activity is considered sinful so…I don’t know.
Click to expand...
I think that many straight people think that gay relationships are mostly about sex. It probably never really crosses their minds that two gay men could actually “fall in love” with each other just like a man and a woman can “fall in love” with each other. And that “falling in love” is about a deep emotional connection that two people have with each other. Sexual interaction can, of course, flow from and strengthen that emotional connection, but it can also exist without sexual interaction. In fact, it is probably more important than the sex and I don’t see how that would be sinful.
 
Last edited:
Codex said:
Thank you for your response. I was looking for answers from all angles. I was just wondering how I could approach the couple with Christ and invite them to church. They are great people and would like to see them saved.
Click to expand...
I can’t fathom the mere thought of your struggle. I appreciate your being frank in your journey. Most importantly, you have chosen God. Hearing stories such as yours humbles me both as a person and as a Catholic. It’s quite amazing how mere faith can carry us through our own struggles. We all have our good share of failures and falls. But having faith in God we are in good hands.

I have a friend who has been going through what you have gone through. Despite his own struggles, he is full of love and hope. His faith in Christ and in the Church is firm and saintlike.

I will keep you in my prayers and may God continue to bless you…
 
Last edited:
RepetantCatholic said:
. I know there are gay themed Evangelical Churches. I also know other denominations address the issue differently then Catholics. Again, I’m not pushing anyone out of this religion but I don’t believe only Catholics are saved.
Click to expand...
Being a Catholic doesn’t make you “saved” per se, because there’s no guarantee we’ll go to heaven. That’s why it is so important to live a virtuous life in service the The Lord, our King and glorifying Him. With that being said, if you know better that the Catholic Church is the One True Church, why would you ever stray from it because of your sexual inclination? I know many Catholics who are lesbian/gay and live a life of Chastity and still practice their faith devoutly. I know you didn’t mean anything by it, just wanted to clarify and clear up misconceptions! 😁
 
I feel like a lot of that is just wanting a deep friendship. Nowadays two men or two women having a deep, loving friendship is viewed sexually or “romantically”.
 
Kei said:
I feel like a lot of that is just wanting a deep friendship. Nowadays two men or two women having a deep, loving friendship is viewed sexually or “romantically”.
Click to expand...
You can’t really experience what another person feels so it is impossible to know unless they say something.
 
Last edited:
I think you are bearing your cross with grace. However, if you have no sexual feelings, then you are a sexual, rather than gay, right? Asexuality is a sexual orientation just like being bi, gay, lesbian, or straight – it all comes down to how you are attracted to other people, in what ways. And being gay means that you are sexually attracted to the same sex.

It may surprise you to know that straight people can and do develop very strong loving relationships with people of the same gender starting with their same sex parent. Same & opposite sex siblings love each other & are affectionate towards each other, no physical relationship is ever even considered.

As an asexual person, I don’t know why it would be sinful for you have a strong, meaningful bond with another person, as long as you were chaste and treated them with the same physical & emotional distancing you’d have with a sibling, parent, etc. And that the other person understood the boundaries of the relationship.

I’d talk that over with your priest to make sure you understand what that looks like because you’d never want to cause scandal, which would definitely happen if two people of the same gender who openly profess to have same sex attraction, were kissing & holding hands or behaving in any way that would imply more is going on. Also, once you are emotionally close to someone, you may find that you aren’t asexual at all, which opens up a whole different problem.

Short answer: if the two friends are treating each other the same way you would your parent, child or sibling in a normal healthy relationship, not a problem. When it crosses over to something you’d never do in a normal healthy relationship with your child, sibling or parent, then it’s wrong.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top