Gay/Bisexual Conversation w/12 yr old

[kage_ar]

Here is the CCC section bold added…:

Chastity and homosexuality
[2357](javascriptpenWindow(‘cr/2357.htm’) Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141 tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."142 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.
2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition. [2359](javascriptpenWindow(‘cr/2359.htm’) Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a6.htm#2359

 

[Cagrl]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it. Dd came home from school today and said that the principal did call her in to the office to talk regarding this whole situation. Dd said that the principal said she’s going to look into it because she has noticed that this girl is always by herself and has no friends. Principal said she’s going to try to get the little girl some counseling. The principal also stated that it could be possible that this girl is doing this to get some attention. But as I stated to my dd is that even if this girl is doing this to get some attention…this is not the way to go about getting attention. I told her there are other ways to get attention than like this. Either way it doesn’t sound or look good. I guess this little girl was not at school today so the principal is going to address it on Tuesday.

Dd was telling me that this girl asked her and 2 other kids if they wanted to “smoke some weed”!!! Dd said that she told the girl, “I don’t do drugs.” And at that moment she heard a teacher passing by and used that as an excuse to runaway! She said she was just shocked because the little girl actually pulled out a sandwich bag with “green stuff” in it. I cannot believe what this world is coming to! I mean, my daughter goes to a really good school and we live in the best school disctrict of our city but I guess that doesn’t really matter. Drugs are every where!
I mentioned this also to the principal and dd talk to the principal about this today also. Prinicipal said if this is the case she will have the girl expelled because that is not tolerated at the school. I am just SHOCKED at all of this! This is incredible! So I guess I will know more about all of this on Tuesday when they get back to school. I will be calling the principal to followup on Tuesday. Please pray for dd to follow in the footsteps of our Lord and to be led away from bad influences.

Thanks and blessings

 

[ALLGIRLS]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it. Dd came home from school today and said that the principal did call her in to the office to talk regarding this whole situation. Dd said that the principal said she’s going to look into it because she has noticed that this girl is always by herself and has no friends. Principal said she’s going to try to get the little girl some counseling. The principal also stated that it could be possible that this girl is doing this to get some attention. But as I stated to my dd is that even if this girl is doing this to get some attention…this is not the way to go about getting attention. I told her there are other ways to get attention than like this. Either way it doesn’t sound or look good. I guess this little girl was not at school today so the principal is going to address it on Tuesday.

Dd was telling me that this girl asked her and 2 other kids if they wanted to “smoke some weed”!!! Dd said that she told the girl, “I don’t do drugs.” And at that moment she heard a teacher passing by and used that as an excuse to runaway! She said she was just shocked because the little girl actually pulled out a sandwich bag with “green stuff” in it. I cannot believe what this world is coming to! I mean, my daughter goes to a really good school and we live in the best school disctrict of our city but I guess that doesn’t really matter. Drugs are every where!
I mentioned this also to the principal and dd talk to the principal about this today also. Prinicipal said if this is the case she will have the girl expelled because that is not tolerated at the school. I am just SHOCKED at all of this! This is incredible! So I guess I will know more about all of this on Tuesday when they get back to school. I will be calling the principal to followup on Tuesday. Please pray for dd to follow in the footsteps of our Lord and to be led away from bad influences.

Thanks and blessings

Oh my! Did you mention that this girl is 12? Something is definately going wrong in her life if she’s asking other girls out on dates and inviting people to do drugs w/ her, and possessing what appears to be drugs (it could have been oregano, and she was just trying to get attention, which would still be problematic). We all need to pray for this girl. Keep us posted. I’m truly worried about her.

In Christ,

Ellen

 

[Cagrl]

Oh my! Did you mention that this girl is 12? Something is definately going wrong in her life if she’s asking other girls out on dates and inviting people to do drugs w/ her, and possessing what appears to be drugs (it could have been oregano, and she was just trying to get attention, which would still be problematic). We all need to pray for this girl. Keep us posted. I’m truly worried about her.

In Christ,

Ellen

Exactly what I was thinking! She is 12. She is in the 7th grade. Like I said, even if she’s just doing this for attention, there is something wrong here! That is not the way to get attention! And like you said it could very well just be Oregano, but that is not the way to getting attention! I will keep you posted. I am calling the principal on Tuesday. The way I see it is there are 2 really big red flags here and the principal needs to do something. I am going to ask the principal if she’s called the parents about this because if this was my little girl I would definitely want a phone call to my house!

 

[Dempsey1919]

We should pray for this girl. She needs help to overcome the issues that are causing her to act this way.

Cagrl, you are doing the right thing in letting the principal know. Somebody needs to do something to help this child, and I hope the principal will do her duty and inform the parents.

It is good that you are intervening and informing the school because this girl could so easily fall through the cracks. I am glad you are stepping in and potentially giving this girl access to the help that she needs.

 

[duskyjewel]

I agree that this girl seems to have many SERIOUS issues and that the school does probably need to be involved. Her parents certainly seem to be dropping the ball… the family needs some intervention.

 

[Mirdath]

I don’t have anything on the latest developments, but I just wanted to say I think you and especially your daughter handled the first thing very well

 

[whatevergirl]

Cagrl–you deserve an ‘atta girl,’ seriously. You did a really good job with your dd. I too have a 12 yr old dd, and the other day she told me that a new boy in school sat next to her and her friends in the lunchroom, very calmly said…you’ll probably find this out soon enough, but I’m gay. My dd didn’t bat an eye. We know a few gay adults …who are friends of the family, and one spends Thanksgiving with the family, when we lived in PA. My dd would feel very embarassed however, if a girl asked her out–absolutely. I feel badly for your dd, but at the same time, I also feel badly for the other little girl. So young to be thinking about dating, let alone asking someone from one’s own sex out.

We teach that God loves everyone…He dislikes when we sin. Homosexuality is a sin, but I also explain that it is not up to us to judge another. Only God can be the true Judge.

I’m praying for that little girl in your dd’s class. No one should be made fun of…your dd did a great job too with apologizing to her classmate. (even though she shouldn’t have to be put into that situation) What a tough time for kids these days, huh?

 

[stacybks]

WHOA!

Okay, man the devil is sure working harder these days…

Anyways, I had homosexual tendencies before the age of 12 but didn’t understand it until I was around 17 years old. Now, at the age of 21 and after two years of living as an in-the-closet active homosexual, I’m prayerfully living a life of chastity and on my way down the Tiber River.

I must applaud you on what you did and how you taught your daughter homosexuals still deserve respect. The Catholic Church is the only church that I know of that teaches that regarding the homosexual issue.

So… kudos!

 

[Annn]

I was a teacher and as a current catechist, I’m a mandantory reporter. This girl is displaying behavior that is a warning that something could be wrong–we just watched a video about it infact for our training. It’s NOT a big leap. It is within the realm of possibility that something is going on that shouldn’t and as members of a community, we owe it to our youngest members to protect them. Also, if she is being harrassed by other students–SOMEONE needs to do something. It is quite appropriate to bring this to the principal’s attention. Also, if she’s having troubles with her identity, then someone should get her the help she needs. Ignoring it and allow others to hurt this poor girl is just not right.

Good job perpetuating stereotypes that queer kids are all abused. It’s a trend for queer students to feel comfortable coming out at earlier ages because the culture has become more accepting. Whether or not you agree with homosexual behavior, it’s not really fair to “send up red flags” because a girl knows she likes girls (at twelve, most people start to have vaguely sexual feelings or urges to “go out” with people…so it’s no surprise kids figure out they’re gay by that age sometimes.)

 

[Annn]

But, to the OP, it seems like you did a really great job handling the situation. It’s awkward to have anyone interested you in 7th grade, let alone someone who is queer if you don’t have experience with queer people and/or are Catholic.

 

[Fran65]

Many adolescents go through what in the UK we call ‘crushes’ on same sex friends. Its a stage that, although disturbing, most young people come out of without developing a homosexual identity.

The problem occurs in our sexualized societies, when children act in a prematurely sexual way that they’ve seen around them in adults and in the media.

It was common for girls at my (girls’) school to ‘swoon’ over and become a little obsessed with an older girl or female teacher. It was a phase and the majority grew out of it. They would never have dreamed of acting on it by asking the girl out with everything that suggests. It makes me wonder whether some develop an identity as homosexual as a result of a set of assumptions about sexuality in general and the meaning of same sex crushes during adolescence.

Karen

 

[Cagrl]

Upate: The principal did contact the girl’s mom. Apparently the mom doesn’t look like she’s doing very well herself. The girl was searched today for marijuana or other type drugs and no drugs were found. What they did find was a sandwhich bag filled with dry grass. The principal said that they were going to be sending the little girl to the school counselor for some sessions and that she was also going to be suspending the girl for 3 days for going around saying that she had drugs and offering them to others. As for the gay/bisexual thing the principal said there is nothing really she can do about that. I can see that the principal would be held as discriminating if she did suspend or reprimand her for voicing her sexual preference. But she did have a talk with the girl about offering too much information to several people about her life because the girl was going around saying that her mom is on drugs, that she was molested before and that she had been doing drugs. The principal told her that instead of going spreading all this stuff about her life that maybe she should speak with an adult like the principal. The principal talk to my daughter again about the situation and told her not to worry that she had the whole thing under control and that if this girl ever started telling my daughter stuff about sex and drugs again for her to go to the principal and that the principal would handle it. I told my daughter to pray for this girl and her mother. That God may be with them and guide them if they are going through some hard times. So the girl will be back at school next Tuesday.

 

[Jennifer_J]

I’m glad the little girl is getting the help she needs. I hope her mother steps up to the plate and helps herself and her daughter as well. Prayers for the whole situation!

 

[dorisbonkers]

:bigyikes: :bigyikes: :bigyikes:

I am so shocked that a 12 year old knows that she is gay.

Why on earth wouldn’t a 12 year old know his or her sexual orientation?

I knew I was hetero before I was twelve and was regularly masturbating (oh dear, did I say the bad word) at that age.

 

[duskyjewel]

This poor girl was hurting and this was a LOUD cry for help. I applaud everyone involved for handling it sensitively and and well.

And my apologies to Jennifer J. Her instincts were better on this one…

 

[Cagrl]

Update: I am really stressed out. Dd came to me yesterday and said that this little girl is now bullying her. She said that the little girl went up to her and flinched her body forward like she was going to hit my daughter in the face and said that she knows that my dd told on her. The girl got in my dd’s face and said…I am ghetto and I will kick your a**. Then the girl said…I know you told that I was gay and that I had marijuana. My dd said…I don’t know what you are talking about. Plus, you’re the one that asked me out in front of the whole class so everyone heard you when you said you were gay…so that’s how everyone knows. And then there was another instance where they were in class and my daughter was looking towards the girls direction because the clock was just over this girl’s head and the girl said to dd with attitude…boo, what are you looking at…you better stop looking this way or I’ll kick your a**. My dd said that she got scared so she tried to avoid looking in the girl’s direction the whole time they were in class. My dd says she is really scared of this girl because she has seen this girl hit another girl in the arm when she was upset. Dd said that she just wishes everything could go back to normal and that all of this is stressing her out. She said that she is scared of this girl because she knows this girl will beat her up is dd upsets her. Dd is really stressed. I feel so bad for dd. I wish all of this could go away too because dd is supposed to be focusing on her studies and not on this girl. Dd said that she sometimes regrets coming to me and telling me what happens in school because she feels things only get worse when I step in. I told her no that I was very proud of her for telling me and that I hope she continues to come to me with anything. I am so scared that this is going to make her lose trust in me. I told her that I would call the principal and tell her what is going on so that she can put a stop to it. Dd said that she doesn’t want her name out there anymore because it only gets worse. So I told her that I would promise this girl would not hurt her. So I called the school principal right now and told her what’s going on and she said that she was going to have to call the two girls into the office to straighten it out because it’s going to have to stop and I know when she does this dd is going to be so upset because then this girl is going to know that my dd told again. But how else do we stop all of this? I am so confused and worried. DD and I tried to do the right thing and now dd is paying for it. I ask you to please, please, please pray for this situation. Dd is having a really hard time because she said that she is physically weak and would not be able to defend herself if this girl attacked her so that makes her scared. Plus, she says that she doesn’t even want to fight at all. She just wants peace.

By the way, the girl was not suspended because they didn’t find any marijuana on her so that’s why she’s at school.

Please pray for my daughter’s protection and that the Holy Spirit send peace in this situation.

Thank again for hearing me out.

 

[duskyjewel]

Self-defense classes. I mean it. If she knows how to defend herself and how to neutralize an attacker long enough to get away, she won’t be afraid.

And just explain that all of you were obligated to go to the school when it seemed there were drugs involved. That could not be changed. And say, “When people get embarrassed, sometimes it makes them angry and they lash out. This girl would have done this to someone eventually, regardless of anything you did.”

Tell the school about the threats of violence, and inform them that if your daughter is physically attacked, the time for dealing with it in school has passed, the police will be called and battery charges filed.

Sorry about all this!

 

[Pinkyyy]

Wow, I think you did an awesome job with your advice . Another thing you daughter could say if the girl says something again is that she’s probably a nice girl, but just as she said, she doesn’t date girls - in fact she doesn’t date anyone at all. It must have been embarassing for your daughter, but it sounds like it was humiliating for this girl and I also get the feeling something is going on. If you are getting the feeling something is going on like abuse, then I agree maybe you want to mention it to the teacher/principal. You did a great job!!!

 

[Catholictrain]

… and people wonder why so many parents are turning to homeschooling…

It is soooo hard to be a parent these days. I will pray for you.