Gay co-worker

[thestudentAD]

I have a black gay co-worker who sings a lot. He is ‘married’, unfortunately. And is a Pentecostal (Surprising to me as I thought they would have tossed him out of the church). My problem is that well, it’s annoying. Christ told us to love they neighbor, and I’m going to confession for it. I told him how I feel about it on some rides that I give him for work… plus, I nearly yelled at him when he was pretending to be angry at me for walking on the floor while he was mopping. I’ve thought about quitting my job to do something else, but this is the first good paying job I’ve have… However, my coworkers advise against taking a job at Geico (A suggestion from my Dad)…
What should I do about it?

 

[SilverLight]

I have a black gay co-worker who sings a lot. He is ‘married’, unfortunately. And is a Pentecostal (Surprising to me as I thought they would have tossed him out of the church). My problem is that well, it’s annoying. Christ told us to love they neighbor, and I’m going to confession for it. I told him how I feel about it on some rides that I give him for work… plus, I nearly yelled at him when he was pretending to be angry at me for walking on the floor while he was mopping. I’ve thought about quitting my job to do something else, but this is the first good paying job I’ve have… However, my coworkers advise against taking a job at Geico (A suggestion from my Dad)…
What should I do about it?

I also have gay co workers and I have never had a problem with it personaly. If it really bothers you that much then look for a new job. Is it him being gay that bothers you?

 

[Virga]

I’m confused. So is the upsetting part the fact that he is gay? Or is his singing the problem? Does he sing while he works or just during the car rides you give him? What was his response after you told him about how you felt [about the singing I assume]? What specifically about his behavior bothers you?

If it’s just the singing that is bothersome, and he doesn’t try to force his beliefs on you, I think it would be best to learn to adjust rather than quit. There will always be someone who’s harder to get along with, but at this point, it’s not necessary to quit just yet IMO.

 

[Trident_H]

Wow buddy, he must be a pretty bad singer to make you want to quit your job. I think I’d let it ride if I were you. I mean, how bad can it be? Maybe you should just sing along next time or ask him if he knows a song you actually like. I mean, I’m hoping he’s not singing about being gay and stuff, right? Because that would just be obnoxious.

 

[thestudentAD]

Nah, he sings with a feminine voice and makes food parodies of certain songs. He has bipolar disorder among maybe a few other things. The company we work for hires mainly disabled people.

 

[Antegin]

It might help if you understood a little about his disability.
webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/hypomania-mania-symptoms
The ‘‘homosexuality’’ you describe may be hyper sexuality, a symptom of mania. The sexual drive can become so strong that it is expressed in multiple unnatural ways. His singing while he works, like the person who taps their fingers or wags their foot is releasing pent up energy. It’s kind of like a pressure valve.

The mark of how good an employee you are is not how well you get along with the normal Joe but how you get along with the quirky coworker or difficult client. If your OP were your résumé, I would decline to offer you a position at this time. Reconsider the move and find ways to make yourself indispensable a work, while viewing your coworker with a more charitable eye.

Oh, the bad news is, people experiencing mania think they are hilarious and make jokes that aren’t funny all the time.

 

[estesbob]

I have a black gay co-worker who sings a lot. He is ‘married’, unfortunately. And is a Pentecostal (Surprising to me as I thought they would have tossed him out of the church). My problem is that well, it’s annoying. Christ told us to love they neighbor, and I’m going to confession for it. I told him how I feel about it on some rides that I give him for work… plus, I nearly yelled at him when he was pretending to be angry at me for walking on the floor while he was mopping. I’ve thought about quitting my job to do something else, but this is the first good paying job I’ve have… However, my coworkers advise against taking a job at Geico (A suggestion from my Dad)…
What should I do about it?

I have hired many homosexuals over the years and I have a homosexual daughter. It’s not a problem unless you or him choose to make it so

 

[thestudentAD]

I am apologizing for my behavior to my co-worker. I thought that I was going to get a lot of flak for not being vocal about homosexuality. I did indeed tell him about my church’s thoughts about it. And I am deeply sorry for causing a disturbance.

 

[estesbob]

I am apologizing for my behavior to my co-worker. I thought that I was going to get a lot of flak for not being vocal about homosexuality. I did indeed tell him about my church’s thoughts about it. And I am deeply sorry for causing a disturbance.

There is a time and a place to be vocal about homosexuality . Work is not one of them .

 

[KD8TZC]

There is a time and a place to be vocal about homosexuality . Work is not one of them .

Exactly… we must love ALL people regardless of what their sins might be. We are not sinless either. Maybe this is God trying to teach you about humility or meekness. You don’t have to agree with his lifestyle, but you do need to love him as a child of God.

I too have a gay co-worker, and it bothers me at times, but I know that I have to treat him with the same love and respect that I would want for myself. Some days I find myself saying the serenity prayer multiple times just to get through the work day.

My prayers are with you and I hope you embrace this gift God has given you.

God bless,

John

 

[Stephen_says]

I have a black gay co-worker who sings a lot. He is ‘married’, unfortunately. And is a Pentecostal (Surprising to me as I thought they would have tossed him out of the church). My problem is that well, it’s annoying. Christ told us to love they neighbor, and I’m going to confession for it. I told him how I feel about it on some rides that I give him for work… plus, I nearly yelled at him when he was pretending to be angry at me for walking on the floor while he was mopping. I’ve thought about quitting my job to do something else, but this is the first good paying job I’ve have… However, my coworkers advise against taking a job at Geico (A suggestion from my Dad)…
What should I do about it?

If he does specific things that regularly disturb your work, (singing, harassing you when you walk past him while he’s mopping, etc.) You should talk to your manager about it.

If it’s just his personality that is grating, I think it would be an opportunity to learn how to cope. A lot of us have to deal with people who are…lets say…crosses to bare, it’s part of living in the world.

 

[pianistclare]

If he does specific things that regularly disturb your work, (singing, harassing you when you walk past him while he’s mopping, etc.) You should talk to your manager about it.

If it’s just his personality that is grating, I think it would be an opportunity to learn how to cope. A lot of us have to deal with people who are…lets say…crosses to bare, it’s part of living in the world.

Indeed. I’ve rarely worked anywhere where everyone was ok with each other.
It’s just a thing. Let it go.
Be a positive force in his life, or ignore him as best you can.
You need work. I presume he does as well.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I have a black gay co-worker who sings a lot. He is ‘married’, unfortunately. And is a Pentecostal (Surprising to me as I thought they would have tossed him out of the church). My problem is that well, it’s annoying. Christ told us to love they neighbor, and I’m going to confession for it. I told him how I feel about it on some rides that I give him for work… plus, I nearly yelled at him when he was pretending to be angry at me for walking on the floor while he was mopping. I’ve thought about quitting my job to do something else, but this is the first good paying job I’ve have… However, my coworkers advise against taking a job at Geico (A suggestion from my Dad)…
What should I do about it?

So what is the problem here?
Is it that he is Pentecostal?
Black?
Gay?
Sings?
No need to quit, you are on a fast track to get fired…

 

[EasterJoy]

I am apologizing for my behavior to my co-worker. I thought that I was going to get a lot of flak for not being vocal about homosexuality. I did indeed tell him about my church’s thoughts about it. And I am deeply sorry for causing a disturbance.

You are going to find over the course of your career that many of your co-workers assume a moral position that is well outside the boundaries revealed by the teachings of the Catholic Church. Remember the admonition by Our Lord not to toss pearls before swine. Teach when you think someone might possibly hear what you’re teaching. Otherwise, it is best for both of you to confine your teaching to the way you conduct yourself.

*“Nothing is more suspicious, in a man who seems holy, than an impatient desire to reform other men. A serious obstacle to recollection is the mania for directing those you have not been asked to reform… Renounce this futile concern with other men’s affairs! Pay as little attention as you can to the faults of other people and none at all to their natural defects and eccentricities.” *Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation

 

[Anglewannabe]

Well, first off, if the only way for this guy to get to work is for you to pick him up, that is one thing. However, if he bugs you that much and he can bus it to work, stop picking him up

I have had enough people in my face at work, making mistakes and arranging it such that I am the one who looks bad that I would welcome a work environment where the worse thing is a bad singer.

Sounds like you are the one initiating the contact with him.

 

[Trident_H]

I am apologizing for my behavior to my co-worker. I thought that I was going to get a lot of flak for not being vocal about homosexuality. I did indeed tell him about my church’s thoughts about it. And I am deeply sorry for causing a disturbance.

Hey it’s at least good that you care enough about stuff to ask instead of just charging in! No disturbance. No trouble!