Gay friends

[punisherthunder]

Is it wrong to be friendly with gay people. I work with a with a gay woman who I happen to get along extremely well with. She has said on numerous occasions that I should come over and BBQ at her house and things of that nature. My natural inclination is to say “SURE!”. But I don’t want to come off as supporting her lifestyle. What to do, what to do I could definetely use all your advice!

Louis

My ex g/f and I had mutual gay friends and once they invited us over for dinner and a game of chess. I thought this sounded simple, but little did I realize that they were just ugly people. Claiming halfway through dinner that they “didn’t need the Bible” and that " Jesus doesn’t mind us being this way." I was so disgusted by them and their opinions and I have never spoken with them since. Be very wary.

 

[hlmem]

My ex g/f and I had mutual gay friends and once they invited us over for dinner and a game of chess. I thought this sounded simple, but little did I realize that they were just ugly people. Claiming halfway through dinner that they “didn’t need the Bible” and that " Jesus doesn’t mind us being this way." I was so disgusted by them and their opinions and I have never spoken with them since. Be very wary.

All people have their own opinions about the bible as they do about homosexuality.

To be disgusted seems a litle overboard…

Would you be disgusted about a friend of yours saying “the earth is flat”… no

You would just know in your heart they are wrong and leave it at that.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

And what chance is there that she’ll convert if she feels that there is nothing wrong with her life style? If she thinks that the OPer has no problems with it? Or if she hears the OPer say one thing (you’re sinning), and yet be so lukewarm as to accept her lifestyle and come over to hang out? If the OPer says “You’re living in sin, etc…” but has no problem spending time with her? Or she preceives that he has no problem spending time with her that won’t convince the lesbian to change her ways.

Catholig

I’m not persueded by the example or values of people I don’t respect or like. If I were shunned, treated badly or felt that I was, the person doing the shunning and others like them would be excluded from any influence on me.

I think it’s hard to strike that balance between establishing where one stands morally and what it means to others. Also, it would take an investment in a person to gain their trust. In most cases we’ve not earned the right to tell others how we thinking their lives are not up to our moral standards.

Personally, I think Catholics have the most potential to reach people with SSA. We don’t teach that homosexuality is a sin; just sex outside of marriage. All sex outside of marriage: homosexual, pre-marital, extra-marital, masturbation, etc. We’re consistant in that regard. One is not worse than the other; each is disordered. (Trying to make one worse than the other is really trying to make the sin we are most likely to commit okay and the one least likely, the worst.)

I;m sorry I’m too tire to make my second paragraph make sense. More power to ya if ya do.

 

[blessedtoo]

I have several gay and lesbian friends. They are loving and compassionate people, in long-term (18 years plus) relationships. When I returned to the Church last summer, I told my lesbian friends. When I filed for an annulment, I told them, and I told them I wouldn’t date until I had one, and that I was concerned about finding a man who would be willing to wait until marriage for us to have sex.

Instead of telling them about their life, I tell them about mine. These women know and love me, and they have always valued my point of view. If I had cut them out of my life, they would not have the witness of a woman living her faith in Christ.

Just one more thing to think about.

Gertie (not my real name, but I like it)

Bravo! This is how I handle this situation as well! In fact, this is how I witness to all my friends! Since I came back to the Church after living many decades in sin, I accumulated alot of friends who walked the same crooked path with me. Now that I have found my way home, I find the best way to convey the joy of the Lord is by living witness. They all know I follow Church teaching on sexuality to the letter. They don’t understand it and think I’m a freak, but that’s just fine! I pray that someday it will become clear by seeing my joy that human beings can only truly be happy when they are united with God.

 

[m134e5]

Is it wrong to be friendly with gay people. I work with a with a gay woman who I happen to get along extremely well with. She has said on numerous occasions that I should come over and BBQ at her house and things of that nature. My natural inclination is to say “SURE!”. But I don’t want to come off as supporting her lifestyle. What to do, what to do I could definetely use all your advice!

Louis

There is nothing inherently wrong with having gay friends, however…

The gay community is a masquerade of happiness, love, acceptance, and peace- behind the show, however, there is NOTHING but anger and narcissism. The gay community is all about sex (whoever would say otherwise is lying to you). They have no concept of forgiveness. They demand that everybody respect- even admire- their lifestyle- and they are angry when someone does not agree with them- even when they mind their own business. Gay women are different than gay men- so friendships with them may be easier- but be careful.

 

[littleone]

There is nothing inherently wrong with having gay friends, however…

The gay community is a masquerade of happiness, love, acceptance, and peace- behind the show, however, there is NOTHING but anger and narcissism. The gay community is all about sex (whoever would say otherwise is lying to you). They have no concept of forgiveness. They demand that everybody respect- even admire- their lifestyle- and they are angry when someone does not agree with them- even when they mind their own business. Gay women are different than gay men- so friendships with them may be easier- but be careful.

Wow sadly to say I don’t think you are far off themark there. I know manyso called gay people and they sem very outwardly happy, but deeply inside there is that other side and at times it seemsso sad because there seems to be that question of who am I really? That is very sad. But Iknow jJesus tells us to be with people and not to be as them. I quite enjoy and go out to meals with a health worker who relates quite feminin, but he and I get on very well.
we may hate the sin but still we are told by Jesus we are to love the person. He is my brother I know, because Jesus tells us so and He cannot lie.

God bless
littleone

 

[Polaris]

Wow sadly to say I don’t think you are far off themark there. I know manyso called gay people and they sem very outwardly happy, but deeply inside there is that other side and at times it seemsso sad because there seems to be that question of who am I really? That is very sad. But Iknow jJesus tells us to be with people and not to be as them. I quite enjoy and go out to meals with a health worker who relates quite feminin, but he and I get on very well.
we may hate the sin but still we are told by Jesus we are to love the person. He is my brother I know, because Jesus tells us so and He cannot lie.

God bless
littleone

I know what you are talking about, but I have met that same emptiness or questioning in almost everyone I know from straight to gay, married to single, and athiest to religious. (If you dont believe me wait for you first dark night of the soul and then you know what emptiness is.) Its part of who we are as fallen beings. God does not tell us directly what to do in big flashing letters so we wander through life struggling in the dark hoping we are fullfilling Gods will for us, some hoping he is even there.

 

[Other_Eric]

Personally, I think Catholics have the most potential to reach people with SSA. We don’t teach that homosexuality is a sin; just sex outside of marriage. All sex outside of marriage: homosexual, pre-marital, extra-marital, masturbation, etc. We’re consistant in that regard. One is not worse than the other; each is disordered. (Trying to make one worse than the other is really trying to make the sin we are most likely to commit okay and the one least likely, the worst.)

It is quite a bold person who would undertake to correct St. Thomas Aquinas and the Tradition of the Church. The homosexual act has always been looked upon as worse than pre-marital sex, extra-marital sex, masturbation, incest, or rape. (1)

(1) Aquinas, Thomas. Summa Theologica. 1920. Trans. Fathers of the English Dominican Province. 2006. Available online at: newadvent.org/summa/3154.htm#12

 

[Other_Eric]

Is it wrong to be friendly with gay people. I work with a with a gay woman who I happen to get along extremely well with. She has said on numerous occasions that I should come over and BBQ at her house and things of that nature. My natural inclination is to say “SURE!”. But I don’t want to come off as supporting her lifestyle. What to do, what to do I could definetely use all your advice!

Louis

The invitation to friendship by one who is enmeshed in one’s own grave sins and who would seek to redefine the moral order to accommodate such, is an invitation to error and away from Christ. If you wish to be a friend to this individual, you will leave her with the business card of a reparative therapist convenient to your area.

 

[puzzleannie]

how exactly to you go about interviewing your aquaintances to see if they are worthy of your time, attention, and friendship. To you send them to confession and ask for a certificate of sinlessness? Jesus did not do this for people with whom he shared table fellowship, neither did he let slide any opportunity to evangelize, heal, and teach, but always with love, never with condemnation. The condemnation he reserved for the scribes and pharisees whose principal occupation in life was comparing their righteousness with the sinfulness of others who earned their contempt. the other individuals who earn condemnation from the Master are those who presume to judge the sinfulness of others.

 

[perez639]

If you wish to be a friend to this individual, you will leave her with the business card of a reparative therapist convenient to your area.

Oh Lordy, I couldn’t help but crack a smile at this line…

Peace be with you all,

Neomi

 

[Other_Eric]

how exactly to you go about interviewing your aquaintances to see if they are worthy of your time, attention, and friendship. To you send them to confession and ask for a certificate of sinlessness? Jesus did not do this for people with whom he shared table fellowship, neither did he let slide any opportunity to evangelize, heal, and teach, but always with love, never with condemnation. The condemnation he reserved for the scribes and pharisees whose principal occupation in life was comparing their righteousness with the sinfulness of others who earned their contempt. the other individuals who earn condemnation from the Master are those who presume to judge the sinfulness of others.

I respond that in every instance, Christ’s dining with sinners was meant to affect His specific purpose, that of the sinner’s reform. In His time, even the most loathsome tax collector could be seen to climb a tree just to get a glimpse of Christ. (1) How different it is today when the mantra of those with same-sex attractions is “pride,” a capital sin. Refraining from judging g another’s state of grace does not mean blinding ourselves to this rather obvious difference.

The proper response to this is not to coddle it by remaining silent among those who practice such abominations. Christians do not allow others to fester in their own sins and dysfunctions under the guise of charity. True Christian love can never be so indifferent. The shepherd does not go out in search of the last lamb, find it entangled in the brush and then wait idly by for the lamb to work itself free. The shepherd takes the active approach of disentangling the lamb himself.

In this example, it is observed that the Christian is meant to take an active role in the correction of his brother. We do not allow others to fester in sin. We point it out to them as many times as is necessary.

(1) The New American Bible. Washington: Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Inc. 1991. Luke 9:1-10. Available online at: usccb.org/nab/bible/luke/luke19.htm

 

[mikew262]

I personally would not go the house of a cohabitating couple living in grave sin (heterosexual or homosexual), unless I made it perfectly clear that I find such a living arrangement morally abhorrent (communicated in a respectful and tactful manner). Otherwise, IMO, you run the risk of sending a mixed message and cause for scandal. I would not for that matter invite such a couple over to my home for a barbeque unless the same qualifier was applied (for any cohabitating couple who has made public their shameful living arrangement).

Jesus made it public and fully known to all parties where he was coming from when dining with sinners. I follow the example of Jesus in giving credible witness to the gospel. It takes courage in this politically correct, distorted sense of tolerance, culture that we as Christians find ourselves in. One must honestly check within themselves why they would not make known their beliefs before enjoining an activity that runs the risk of being perceived as condoning the gravely sinful behavior of others.

What a terrible attiude! If somebody invites you to their house, gay or not, it’s probably out of friendship. What a way to return that friendship, by condemning their lifestyle. If I invited you to my home and you took the occasion to condemn my lifestyle (respectful or not), you’d be out on your behind so fast, your head would be spinning. Rude!! Shame on you! :tsktsk:

 

[setter]

The proper response to this is not to coddle it by remaining silent among those who practice such abominations. Christians do not allow others to fester in their own sins and dysfunctions under the guise of charity. True Christian love can never be so indifferent. The shepherd does not go out in search of the last lamb, find it entangled in the brush and then wait idly by for the lamb to work itself free. The shepherd takes the active approach of disentangling the lamb himself.

In this example, it is observed that the Christian is meant to take an active role in the correction of his brother. We do not allow others to fester in sin. We point it out to them as many times as is necessary.

Is there more than one way in your manual to tactfully and effectively disentangle the lost soul from the bush of confusion, sin and darkness? Would you not agree that tone and presentation are an important component to winning over souls to Christ?

 

[Other_Eric]

What a terrible attiude! If somebody invites you to their house, gay or not, it’s probably out of friendship. What a way to return that friendship, by condemning their lifestyle. If I invited you to my home and you took the occasion to condemn my lifestyle (respectful or not), you’d be out on your behind so fast, your head would be spinning. Rude!! Shame on you! :tsktsk:

We must not confuse the Christian duty to spread the Gospel with a superficial ethic of merely being polite.

 

[Other_Eric]

Is there more than one way in your manual to tactfully and effectively disentangle the lost soul from the bush of confusion, sin and darkness? Would you not agree that tone and presentation are an important component to winning over souls to Christ?

Truth is what it is. Sometimes it’s not pleasant.

 

[mikew262]

We must not confuse the Christian duty to spread the Gospel with a superficial ethic of merely being polite.

Jesus never went to a sinners house and openly condemned their lifestyle. No, he appreciated their invite. Do you really think your going to change a person by using this method?

 

[setter]

What a terrible attiude! If somebody invites you to their house, gay or not, it’s probably out of friendship. What a way to return that friendship, by condemning their lifestyle. If I invited you to my home and you took the occasion to condemn my lifestyle (respectful or not), you’d be out on your behind so fast, your head would be spinning. Rude!! Shame on you! :tsktsk:

I hope that you feel better now after that misdirected cathartic release …

Again, I take Jesus as my example and role model.

 

[setter]

Truth is what it is. Sometimes it’s not pleasant.

So you are saying that you have one approach in your playbook manual, and if it doesn’t fit, then too bad?

 

[Other_Eric]

So you are saying that you have one approach in your playbook manual, and if it doesn’t fit, then too bad?

I repeat: Truth is what it is. Sometimes it’s not pleasant.