Richard, you wrote from another post that you felt unloved by men particularly. Were you close to your father? Did he show affection to you?
I tend to feel that way sometimes, unloved by people. It’s something in me that I haven’t come to terms completely with yet. I would want to experience some of the love you said you’ve felt like from your sister-in-law. Maybe someday, but I think it’s up to me to go out and find good Christian friends. I can only do that a little at a time since not a lot is available to me right now, but I’ll take advantage of the things that are like Christian singles group.
I did not read your other post but no, I don’t think you were being intentionally angry or crude in any way in your latest one. I think I was speaking in general terms because we often (me included, believe me!) do not realize how something “sounds” to the brain once it is in typewrittten form. We just all have to be careful to respect one another in each and every posting. I did not read your post to Amy, but I did read Amy’s recent one, and regarding Matthew Shepard, what a tragedy indeed. The saddest part is that the men who did that horrific crime still deny that they did it, or at least that they did it because of his sexual preferences. I saw them interviewed on 20/20 a year or two ago I believe, and it did indeed sicken me all over again. But they too need our prayers. Regarding Matthew’s eternal destiny, one thing about the Catholic Church is that we never declare that someone is “in hell.” That is for God to decide, and if that young man died crying as you mentioned–just perhaps he was calling on God to help him at that moment. That is my personl hunch, and if so, God is faithful and exceedingly loving and we can entrust his soul to a merciful Father. When Saddam Hussein was about to be executed, I (and no doubt thousands of others) prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet immediately for his soul. Same with Timothy McVeigh, who I later learned did indeed have a priest see him privately minutes before his death. AND NO, I am not comparing either of them with Matthew Shepard, my point is that all can be saved and that is our official Church teaching. No exceptions. THANK GOD for that!
Amy just know that you are not alone. All I would ask is for you to at least consider the claims made here that there is more to life than your sexuality, or mine, or anyone else’s. I think you are here in the first place because you were called by our Lord to at least check out that possiblity, and I would challenge you to do so.
Ladybri, regarding my dad, we are very close–now. But in the growing up years, not so much. He worked day and night and then came home, watched a baseball game (or football, or whatever) and then went to bed. That was the extent of our relationship. I am the youngest of 8 from a working class family and time with either of our parents was premium, believe me. Some would say that is why I am homosexualy inclined, but my brothers had the same experience growing up and neither had that issue. One of them in fact planted his “seed” all over the nation for years as a truck driver, so I have no clue how many neices and nephews I may have to this day as a result lol. I may have relatives world wide that I may never meet as a result. I know, TMI hehe. So anyway I do not know. I do know that I was different from them in that I was not good at group sports or fitting in with the other boys, and my dad simply did not know how to reach out to a son who he had very little in common with, so he tended to be closer to my other two brothers instead.
So I am not sure which came first, the chicken or the egg, so to speak. Was he deliberately ignoring me, thus causing me to doubt my masculinity, or did he sense that I was already different and therefore we just did not connect? Or some of both? I do not know nor does it honestly matter to me at this point. In any case I am not called to be athletic, or to guzzle beer and burp with the boys, but I am called to be a holy man of God, and I am working on it daily. St Joseph is my greatest example and my “father in the Faith,” and many now call him the patron of those men who deal with SSA. I also find St Francis of Assisi (another wild boy who didnt exactly bond with his father!) to be my example too. I have learned to love them both. As for the perfect mother, Our Lady does just fine to help us all and she knows the balance of “mothering” we each need. And above all, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ shows me what true manhood and sacrifice is all about.
God bless you in your search for truth and meaning. It is out there.
