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Wm777
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or a Sinead O’Connor clone…
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Sarcelle
Guest
There are some Christian groups who believe that short hair on a woman is sinful.
Just like women who wear pants are committing sin.
Add short hair or a shaved head and the woman has lost her femininity.
Just like women who wear pants are committing sin.
Add short hair or a shaved head and the woman has lost her femininity.
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Wm777
Guest
Hmmm… I think Joan of Arc was somehow persecuted by her captors for having a shaved head, or they shaved her head as punishment…
It would make more sense that she shaved her head or cut her hair short to go into battle… probably to pose as a guy in order to participate in the war? In any case, I think her British captors must have been angry because of it…
Still she was a Saint and martyr, so either way her tonsure could be seen as laudable…
But, then, I’m mostly bald - and, what God hasn’t taken, I shave off… so I am a bit partial… if a woman wants to shave her head, then I’m good with it…
Oh, also, Saint Clare of Assisi shaved her head when she was taken into the Poor Clares’ order… so there are plenty of examples where a tonsure is okay…
It would make more sense that she shaved her head or cut her hair short to go into battle… probably to pose as a guy in order to participate in the war? In any case, I think her British captors must have been angry because of it…
Still she was a Saint and martyr, so either way her tonsure could be seen as laudable…
But, then, I’m mostly bald - and, what God hasn’t taken, I shave off… so I am a bit partial… if a woman wants to shave her head, then I’m good with it…
Oh, also, Saint Clare of Assisi shaved her head when she was taken into the Poor Clares’ order… so there are plenty of examples where a tonsure is okay…
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Pai_Nosso
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Being angry at God is not rational.
Pray for her.
That’s your opinion which I disagree with.
Actually it is easier to be a woman now than ever before in the history of humanity.
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1Dakota0831
Guest
Psychology student here! This is caused by a mental illness known as Gender Dysphoria, and it is, like other mental illnesses, completely out of the persons control. It is incredibly painful, and many people with it face extreme anxiety, depression, and mental anguish because of it. Many even commit suicide. Of course, their moral culpability is probably lessened because of these factors. These people need to be taken to a psychologist who will help them accept that they have this mental condition and feel comfortable in their bodies. I suggest not taking them to conversion therapy, as that has, in many cases, led to increased anxiety and depression. It is also important to remind them that, even though God created two genders, Gods version of masculinity and femininity are not the same as society’s definition. If a biological male enjoys the color pink, ballet, and flowers, he is in no way sinning by having feminine interests.
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neophyte
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Gender (masculine and feminine) is not the same thing as sex (male and female). We are born with a sex, not a gender. Gender is an attribute of articles of speech, and people are not articles of speech. That being said, I think it would be accurate to say that all human beings are feminine in relationship to God.
If by “normal” you mean “is it common”, I’d have to say no. If you mean “understandable given the lousy treatment women have received in certain cultures or from certain people in their lives”, I’d have to say yes. Misdirected, but understandable.
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Wm777
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You might want to consider a different career path.
I realize you’re just a student, but your offering (while well intended) omits a lot.
Gender-dysphoria can be as much a result of learned behavior from social confusion as it can be genetic or even both.
You’re right in saying it can be out of a person’s control. For example, if their chromosomes normally check out as an XX genotype, but they have some kind of hormonal problem with above average levels of testosterone (even for an XY genotype) then I’d say yeah - gender identity can definitely become a legit problem. That example (of increased testosterone levels in an XX genotype) is actually taken from a girl who - when she hit puberty - turned into a killer because the testosterone fueled above average levels of aggression she wasnt completely equipped to handle.
On the other hand, if you had an XY genotype, then they could still have alleles that produce essentially XX phenotype characteristics. I dont have a specific example on-hand, but feminine XX traits do appear in some male musicians - who have natural musical instincts. They’re drawn to the music, but they become more effeminate through too much practice.
But - when it gets to the point of learned behavior - it’s not genetic, and it is controllable, since the dysphoria is simply based upon the impact of cultural influence. What happens a lot is people will imitate (in the sense of mock) the genotype’s phenotype, and then the natural dysphoric becomes a joke. Sometimes the natural, genotypic dysphoric will even appreciate the ridicule and see it as true social acceptance, but (Pope Benedict points out in Deus Caritas Est) there’s a tremendous difference between being loved and being exploited. Art should imitate life, not itself. But that is what a lot of non-dysphoric “dysphorics” do, and it confuses both the dysphoric and general non-dysphorics.
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Wm777
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When someone is in a state of moral conflict, i.e. when they have divided will, which is genuinely torn between two very different identities - I think that person is to be shown a great deal of care and compassion, for they suffer something most people can’t even begin to imagine. But those blessed with a more integrated focus should show a natural dysphoric mercy; but, unfortunately, the problem becomes so strange, human ignorance just takes over and makes things worse by confusing everyone.
Gender dysphoria is probably not as bad as it is made out to be. It’s more likely the case is, when the media sees a “freak of nature” they always turn it into a dog and pony show, as if they were somehow going to solve that person’s suffering by exploiting the issue. It’s usually not an effective method. The person will still get laughed at, even worse due to the added exposure… which is incredibly sad when the matter cannot be helped… and the person is put on the spot and forced to deal with a matter they may want to keep more private…
On a general, social level, the problems people end up confronting are like - suppose a guy got a sex change - could we let that person into a convent? If so, could that nun then become a Priest? Or - suppose a natural woman wanted to be a Catholic Priest - then what? She might argue to become a man to get into Seminary. That’s all pretty weird.
Even straight people in secular, alternative scenes, where gender dysphoria is more prevalent and acceptable, have to struggle with these same questions. I know one lady of easy virtue who gets the question of her XX authenticity put to her all the time because natural XY hetero males want only an XX partner, although many XY LGBTs would rather play The Crying Game. So the result gets even more confusing for everyone.
It’s best to minimize the issue. Psychology only makes these things more confusing for everyone. Its best to stick with the life God gave us. I’m naturally bald, and, no, I dont always like it, but then I dont let it get to me in the least - if anything, I just look at it as really convenient and very low maintenance… so I just shave my head completely and try to look tougher than Mr Clean…
Anyway, I agree with your general intention, but your analysis and commentary left a lot out, and I just wanted to clarify it.
Gender dysphoria is probably not as bad as it is made out to be. It’s more likely the case is, when the media sees a “freak of nature” they always turn it into a dog and pony show, as if they were somehow going to solve that person’s suffering by exploiting the issue. It’s usually not an effective method. The person will still get laughed at, even worse due to the added exposure… which is incredibly sad when the matter cannot be helped… and the person is put on the spot and forced to deal with a matter they may want to keep more private…
On a general, social level, the problems people end up confronting are like - suppose a guy got a sex change - could we let that person into a convent? If so, could that nun then become a Priest? Or - suppose a natural woman wanted to be a Catholic Priest - then what? She might argue to become a man to get into Seminary. That’s all pretty weird.
Even straight people in secular, alternative scenes, where gender dysphoria is more prevalent and acceptable, have to struggle with these same questions. I know one lady of easy virtue who gets the question of her XX authenticity put to her all the time because natural XY hetero males want only an XX partner, although many XY LGBTs would rather play The Crying Game. So the result gets even more confusing for everyone.
It’s best to minimize the issue. Psychology only makes these things more confusing for everyone. Its best to stick with the life God gave us. I’m naturally bald, and, no, I dont always like it, but then I dont let it get to me in the least - if anything, I just look at it as really convenient and very low maintenance… so I just shave my head completely and try to look tougher than Mr Clean…
Anyway, I agree with your general intention, but your analysis and commentary left a lot out, and I just wanted to clarify it.
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BlueMaxx
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Ay’yup…
Revelation 3:15-17
15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold, nor hot. I would thou wert cold, or hot.
16 But because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold, not hot, I will begin to vomit thee out of my mouth.
17 Because thou sayest: I am rich, and made wealthy, and have need of nothing: and knowest not, that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked.
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BlueMaxx
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Saves on shampoo and avoids lice…mixed bag indeedblackforest:
or a Sinead O’Connor clone…
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Irishmom2
Guest
I feel the same way. I have been unhappy with things, or disappointed, or upset with life events, but I have never been angry at God, or blamed him for things that did not go my way. It is a foreign concept to me to be angry at God.
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Wm777
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This may sound a little weird because it’s going to be like trying to equate a holy understanding with a sinful one - which is a little like comparing apples and oranges… If you dont have the problem because you are happily in alignment with God’s will, then it would make no sense to someone who is having a problem… so the idea here is to try to figure out how to explain her problem in terms of something a contented Catholic can relate to…
I’m thinking it might be something like when you go to confession for sin X on Sunday… then on Monday you commit sin X, so the next week you are back in the confessional confessing sin X… then the third week, you are again back in the confessional confessing sin X… and on and on… maybe for a long time, or even for the rest of your life… and - no matter how many firm purposes of amendment you attempt - it’s like you’re always back in the same boat… The OP’s friend seems to be having a problem that’s something like that…
It’s not a totally corrupt point of view…
“Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life.”
The gift you have, which seems to be challenging to her friend is Jesus’ follow through line…
Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be. The Father will honor whoever serves me.
She seems to have the self-loathing part down. She just hasn’t found God yet.
And, no, if anyone is wondering, I’m not making fun of her on the self-loathing part… The strife must be frustrating for her, but, hopefully, one day she’ll find peace in obeying God’s will…
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Sarcelle
Guest
Life has also dealt me a lot of lemons but when I blame God, I feel like I’ve lost my only ally which makes it worst.
Instead, I ask God for his companionship and guidance throughout the ordeal. This has kept me relatively sane throughout the difficulties.
Instead, I ask God for his companionship and guidance throughout the ordeal. This has kept me relatively sane throughout the difficulties.
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BornInMarch
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It is entirely normal to be angry that God gave you a worse hand than someone else, or to feel resentful that His plan apparently calls for your misery or suffering.
All I’ll say is that it is helpful to remember in such times that God loves you and wants good things for you.
All I’ll say is that it is helpful to remember in such times that God loves you and wants good things for you.
blackforest
Well-known member
“Anger” and “angry” may be overkill as word choices go, but I think some frustration is normal. A relationship with God is just that . . . a relationship. And those come with their own set of ups and downs. I love reading parts of the Old Testament that portray a raw honesty in the relationship between Hebrews and God . . . namely, when they’re bickering with Him, lol! God is always right, of course, but it’s normal and human to feel frustrated when we can’t understand the whys and hows of His plan.
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Thorolfr
Guest
What does “conversation therapy” have to do with gender dysphoria or being transgender? “Conversation therapy” usually refers to a treatment that tries to convert people who are gay or lesbian into heterosexuals.
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Sarcelle
Guest
I once told a priest how I seem to have it worst than others.
He told me very emphatically to never, never compare myself with others.
It could only lead to either pride or envy, both deadly sins.
All of us have struggles the others know nothing about, so if we compare it’s based on assumptions.
He told me very emphatically to never, never compare myself with others.
It could only lead to either pride or envy, both deadly sins.
All of us have struggles the others know nothing about, so if we compare it’s based on assumptions.
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JanR
Guest
We have laws today that protect women from unfair discrimination in the workplace, in the extending of credit, in the granting of loans, and in many other areas. There was a time when married women couldn’t own property, when their husbands owned their bodies like other possessions, and if a woman left her husband, she got nothing. He could even keep their children. All of that has changed.
Women today can vote.
Women can be military pilots.
We have a lot more rights now than we ever had before in this country.
The one remaining bastion of gender discrimination can be found in the area of health insurance. Women are almost always charged higher premiums than men for the exact same coverage. It’s arbitrarily assumed that women will file more claims, therefore are a higher risk. That’s broad-brush painting, and it’s totally unfair because a lot of the time, it isn’t true.
The health insurance industry needs to change their attitude toward female customers, and base the premiums they charge on individual cases rather than wrapping us all in the same blanket.
Women today can vote.
Women can be military pilots.
We have a lot more rights now than we ever had before in this country.
The one remaining bastion of gender discrimination can be found in the area of health insurance. Women are almost always charged higher premiums than men for the exact same coverage. It’s arbitrarily assumed that women will file more claims, therefore are a higher risk. That’s broad-brush painting, and it’s totally unfair because a lot of the time, it isn’t true.
The health insurance industry needs to change their attitude toward female customers, and base the premiums they charge on individual cases rather than wrapping us all in the same blanket.
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JanR
Guest
It was arbitrary back then. A man could lock his wife out of the house, keep the children and refuse her access to them. Married women who were abused simply had to live with it. They had no rights. Women were chattel.
Today, of course, that’s different. Both parents can go to court and make their cases, and a judge decides whose case has the most merit and grants custody to either the mother or the father, depending upon the evidence and other important circumstances.
I think Jimmy knows that’s what I meant. For a long time, husbands ruled their households totally. Wives had little or no say, even around the house, even with raising their children.
It’s easier being female today than it ever was, before. Married women can have their own bank accounts, in their own names, credit cards in their own names, often in junction with a joint account shared by both. There are fewer squabbles over money, that way.
Women used to truly be second-class citizens, but not so much, anymore.
Today, of course, that’s different. Both parents can go to court and make their cases, and a judge decides whose case has the most merit and grants custody to either the mother or the father, depending upon the evidence and other important circumstances.
I think Jimmy knows that’s what I meant. For a long time, husbands ruled their households totally. Wives had little or no say, even around the house, even with raising their children.
It’s easier being female today than it ever was, before. Married women can have their own bank accounts, in their own names, credit cards in their own names, often in junction with a joint account shared by both. There are fewer squabbles over money, that way.
Women used to truly be second-class citizens, but not so much, anymore.
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JanR
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I was mainly referring to the nineteenth century, especially prior to the 1840s. It was only after that time that married women could begin to own property, and it wasn’t until 1920 that we could vote. And much more recently, laws had to finally be passed that would prohibit lenders from denying women credit based solely on gender.
I never said that the world was a Hell hole for women. I was pointing out that we have many more equal rights today than women have had in the past.
In any event, God gives us the gender he wants us to have, and there are many good reasons for that.
I never said that the world was a Hell hole for women. I was pointing out that we have many more equal rights today than women have had in the past.
In any event, God gives us the gender he wants us to have, and there are many good reasons for that.
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