Gender Identity Issue

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Please pray for me, as I’ve always had a feminine gender identity despite being a man and when I tried to repress my effeminacy and act masculine after I converted I nearly destroyed myself. Long story short, my friends would call me the gay straight guy :rolleyes: I guilt-tripped about it and started repressing my sensual, emotional, sentimental, romantic, and artistic aspects and so on and basically adopted a sort of caricature of masculinity that ultimately ripped my mental health apart. There’s a pinch of SSA in there too, but very little. I mean, I was never flamboyant… I guess you could say I was soft. I’ve always viewed the opposite sex as superior, always acted more like them, never formed close bonds with guys, I’ve had forays into Christian feminism and egalitarianism, an attraction to Wicca, and so on. I just feel like it’s so wrong for a Catholic man to be like this. When I repressed all this I got to the point where I turned into an angry fundamentalist and started lashing out at things in other Catholics that remind me of it. A self-loathing flamespewer not unlike some homophobic televangelist types who turned out to be gay.

I mean, I’m still masculine enough to not feel like I need sex reassignment or something, but sheesh.
 
Lord God, please bless WoundedIcon with the graces he needs in his life. I ask You to bless him with the wisdom to know Your plan for him and the grace to continue to live a pious life as a Catholic man. Lead him, guide him, protect him, and guard him always, Lord, especially in moments when he feels weak and tired. Amen.
 
As a fellow artist, we seem especially attuned to sensitivity. This sensitivity seems to be part of the gift of art. It is a difficult path, but allows us to be open to both sides of the equation to see beauty. I was lucky enough to find a husband who understood this. May he RIP.

Remember God loves YOU.

He designed each and every one of us with male and female bodies, but also with both male and female traits.

The world makes us confused about what it is supposed to be to be male, or female. God is not confused.

Trust in the Lord that he has designed you for a specific purpose. If God has determined you should have a mate, trust that there is a lady out there with strong male traits, or ultra feminine traits which will complement your traits as God designed. Sometimes He simply has other plans for us children.

Have faith.

Peace be with you.
 
O Holy Spirit, teach us your ways. Grant us obedience and humility, which are the beginning of wisdom. But most of all let us know the love that you have for each one of us in life, just as we are.

We thank you for all you do, in Jesus’ name.

Amen.
 
Thank you for such a brave and honest post, it’s very inspiring. I would not have the courage you have shown here.

Being at war with ourselves can be very painful. I hope that you will be able to allow yourself to just be whoever you are, and end the battle.

You can be who you are, and a good Catholic too, simply by not becoming a slave to everyone else’s opinion of what a good Catholic is. The church belongs to Jesus Christ, not to the Pope or any of the rest of us.

What would Jesus do?

My upbringing suggests he might advise you to go find somebody facing more challenges than you are, and put yourself in their service.

I’m sure there are plenty of suffering people in your community who will gratefully accept your love and assistance, and they just won’t care what your gender identity is. They won’t care if you change your gender identity every week.

This is just my opinion. I’m a highly imperfect typist, just like all the rest of them. You shouldn’t blindly accept my definition of what a good Catholic is either.

Just be who you really are, and stop worrying about what the rest of us think.

Good luck!
 
AFAIK, Mary just took the issue out with her Green Scapular. WOOT! I never felt like a guy even though I had a decent amount of masculine traits, I always felt more like a slightly tomboyish playful teenage girl. When I hit adulthood I couldn’t find it in myself to embrace manhood and got stuck at an adolescent level. Not to mention that I had all the traditional markers of effeminacy like being addicted to comfort and pleasures and stuff. It’s almost like I felt safer and superior considering myself one of the gals. I didn’t really have a male role model growing up, and the males I did know from school just came across as so dumb to me. Would it surprise you if I told you that I wanted to look up to a woman, feel safe and protected, and even submit to her? But I think, with Mary’s help, I’m coming out of this.
 
Mother Mary, I commend WoundedIcon to you. May you be that woman he looks up to, from whom he gets protection. May he imitate you in purity, humily and charity and carry his cross heroically. Please help him with these issues that are tearing him apart. May he have a deep devotion to you and pray to you constantly for the help he needs with these painful problems. You are his Mother and I know you can help him if he calls upon you with confidence. Please ease his suffering and turn his pain into gladness. Please help him to turn to you with deep trust and devotion. Amen.
 
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