Gender roles or no?

  • Thread starter Thread starter ashleyxo
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Hubby and I do not have children together (I do have a 13-year-old stepdaughter) but if we do have children, our plan is that I will take my year’s maternity leave and then return to work. He will quit his job and be a SAHD. There are three reasons for this:
  1. I’m a nursing instructor at a college and Hubby is a security guard. I make more than he does. I would also need to work some to keep my nursing license current.
  2. Hubby is high-functioning autistic. This means he has limited job prospects because he does not handle stress or large crowds well. He works as a night guard so it’s easier on him.
  3. I receive extensive vacation as part of my job (about 3 months off per year, paid). Hubby would like to retain his license and work as a spare guard when I’m off, of course leaving some time for us to have family holidays.
You do what works. I still have great respect for Hubby and I’ve made it clear to him that I don’t see it as I’m supporting him. Any money that we have is the family’s money and it’s shared by all of us. As the husband he is my head and I’m happy to be the helper. He’s also a very good husband and cares very much for me and DSD 🙂
 
AdamPeter said:
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ashleyxo:
I’ve come across a weird Catholic blog and I’m just a little shaken by it.
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Out of curiosity, is this the blog you are referring to?

tradcatfem.com
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Danger --danger—danger–danger
 
yes it is i think, i found it on Tumblr.

Am i missing out on anything? is the writer from here? i don’t want to start anything
 
She was on these forums. I think she got banned, though I’m open to correction on that. She’s basically just a very extreme traditionalist/SSPX adherent. Her views are certainly not in line with Catholic Teaching. I admit she does get some stuff right. But as they say, even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
You may notice that there is very little theological content in her articles to back up her views. Just assertions that this is THE way.
 
Her blog design has improved since she asked us for advice.
 
I remember asking if she could support her claims with theology/psychology and she made some sort of comment about how we are too liberal or something… :confused:
 
Anyway with traditional gender roles, there’s nothing wrong with liking it imo. But it’s not the only way. Many young, single people are infatuated with traditional roles because let’s face it, it aligns with their personality/character and it can be very romanticized and cute when you read about it. Feminism has gotten ugly, so these people would go to the other extreme, especially with men, as they’re tired of some women treating them like scum.

The church and society would be baaad if all women acted the same way. We need loud and assertive women as well as gentle and meek ones. Same with men. I admit this is one of the many problems I have with catholicism/Christianity/rather religion in general because people seem to be focused on stereotypical ideas of women or acting like we are so mysterious and beautiful vessels when we are all so so so so different. You would think the church would be some sort of refuge considering how society forces us to behave a certain way as well.
 
Counter that blog owner errors – with Church documents – and she’ll accuse you of worshiping the Pope(s).
 
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thanks for the compliment @heidi_storage - i work on improving the platform every day

No, @AdamPeter - this is yet another lie you keep spreading about me. I was not banned. I have just been very very busy, but every single time you mention me, I get a notification and traffics to my blog, so a) thanks for the traffic - it helps spread the word and b) hope you stop spreading more lies about me.
Like I said, before you really need to get over this obsession you have of me.
I know that my views may not resonate with everyone. Within the N.O or TLM parts of the church, people will always disagree with each other. Some will have a difference of opinion, and that is natural, that is human nature.
I have listened to and interacted with people who had different opinion to me, and sometimes we came to a mutual agreement, and at other times, we simply agreed to disagree. That is how normal people behave…not one person forcing their views on another. If you disagree with the views expressed on my blog, just don’t read it. It is honestly that simple.
And ps - every single time I state something of importance on the blog, I back it up BOTH with supportive material from the Catechism of the Catholic Church as well as Biblical material.
If you are not seeing these on the blog, you might need to get help with reading.

I truly get that some people disagree with me, but I have never ever had any of them continue to mention me, contact me, message me MONTHS afterwards like @AdamPeter does …I even told you to stop and when we could not come to any agreement, I told you that you are entitled to your opinion, but I wish no further contact from you and YET, YOU CONTINUE-…FOR MONTHS!!
It’s getting a little creepy, obsessive and inappropiate, so please stop and go focus on your new wife! You are a married man and I am taken, and also NOT interested.

I very much enjoy reading the posts on the forum here and I also interact with Catholic answers off the forum. Catholic Answers and its staff has been very helpful in deepening my faith. I just try to stay away from some of these forums here becos @AdamPeter just keeps coming after me, messaging me every time he sees I am active on a forum.

To everyone else, hope you are enjoying and getting used to the new CAF look. Thanks again for checking out my blog. Have an awesome day and God bless you all!!

ad Jesum per Mariam 🌹📿🌹
 
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  1. Your opinion is simply wrong. You simply are one of those SSPX people that believes you are better than us NO “idiots” and preserves the churchs “puritty”. If you really wanted people to return to tradition you wouldn’t act as if anyone who goes to NO is a lesser being.
  2. If I want to read your blog for amusement purposes then I have every right. I also have every right to mention your blog if I wish. If you can’t handle criticism…get off the internet. If you don’t like what I have to say…ignore me. Simple as that.
  3. If you do cite church docuiments it’s generally very selectively to back up your flawed point of view. I’m not the only one who thinks this by the way.
  4. Don’t flatter yourself. I’m a married man. I have no interest in you apart from occasionally reading your blog to see what other half-baked nonsense you’ve come out with this week.
  5. If you’re taken, that’s excelllent. I’m glad there’s a man out there who is prepared to let his gf wear the pants in the relationship.
 
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I don’t think it’s wise of you to ‘attack’ him like this. Being catty is not true femininity… (okokok i’m only teasing), but it’s best to keep things civil here. I don’t know what he’s messaging you but from what I see on the threads, you’re the one that gets a little too defensive? We have pointed out some parts of your blog long ago, and you weren’t receptive and instead said we are influenced by feminism. :confused:

Anyway if you want constructive advice:

-in your blogpost you linked the catechism, which I read, and while it mentions femininity, it doesn’t state what that is and how women should go about doing it. You offered your opinion of it, and you have every right to, but you assert them as the ‘truth’. A simple disclaimer which says that your posts are simply your interpretation and not infallible truth (Catholics that go on your website will think that’s how the Church thinks women should behave, instead of what you/trad fems think, and there needs to be a distinction. The Church welcomes unique personalities).

-You said VS had a runway for 5 year olds wearing lingerie, the link you post said that in China, a ‘Vs-style’ show was held for 5 year olds at a mall. I don’t think you’re a professional journalist but honestly, you should edit that. While I don’t agree with your view, I don’t want Catholics making mistakes like that. It automatically makes us look like we’re twisting facts even if it’s a small mistake.

-“This is why it is contrary to nature, to God’s plan, and Biblical teaching for a man to be a Stay-At-Home Dad.” is not true at all. You have insulted amazing strong men who are SAHDs! Again, your opinion, please don’t say it’s God’s. You say you back it up with proof, but you don’t. A few journal citations would be lovely when you make sweeping statements about gender. You cited the catechism, but you interpreted it wrongly.

I’m not going to nitpick everything, although there’s more. We have told you this before, but you keep dismissing us. We’re telling you that you’re wrong (not always, obviously, you have good points here and there) but you act like it’s just a matter of opinion when it’s not (eg the last point, saying something is against God’s plan is not a matter of opinion that we can just disagree, but a grave statement).

I’m not sure how to feel about you giving one-on-one coaching because it seems like vulnerable women will be attracted to that and I don’t know what advice you might give them, but sigh we can’t stop you from that. You don’t deserve hate, which I apologise on behalf of whoever that may hurt you, but you do deserve criticism (so does everyone else here) when you are ‘representing the church’ as a catholic.
 
To add to what @Lea101 said:

You have set up an Organisation and are offering your opinion as Church teaching. You also set yourself up as a guru of femininity. Are you aware that if you set up an organisation claiming to be Catholic, you must get permission from the local Bishop to use the term “Catholic”.

See Canon 216 of the Code of Canon Law.

I’d love to know have you done this?
 
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