Get thee to a Nunnary

[armywife]

I think he did a wonderful job and some of the women on here are being very rude. As others have said, he came to vent and got jumped.

But I also have been the wife who comes home from a weekend away and is just mad that basic things haven’t been done, so I know how the wife feels. I just suppress the urge to have a fit and thank my DH for taking over for a weekend. It’s not worth the tension in the air.

I really do think it’s hard coming down from a spiritual high and Satan will use that to his end if allowed.

 

[Maria1212]

Dear Chosen,

I stopped reading all of the posts on this thread because I was taken aback by the lack of charity and downright rudeness of some of the other posters.

You sound like a wonderful husband who did the best you could during a very hectic weekend. Having a child with special needs like DS takes a lot of extra energy on a daily basis so having an extra visitor plus your neice visit must have been extra tough. I am sorry your wife did not see all the hard work you had been doing while she was gone. I don`t know how the retreat was for her but I know sometimes it can be hard leaving the serenity of a retreat behind and going back to every day hectic life.
I recommend the suggestions from one of the posters about writing a letter to your wife to share with her what you shared with us. That way she can better understand how much work you did and she will see the house was not a mess due to your fault.

Next time, hopefully your other kids can help out more so all of the responsibility won`t fall on you. You sound like a wonderful husband, father, and uncle. Remember that God sees all your sacrifices.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Sincerely,

Maria1212

 

[LookingForFaith]

I couldn’t have said it any better myself Maria, and Armywife. Chosen, I only wish I had someone who cared about me as much as you so obviously care about your wife. Hopefully she’ll see how very hurtful she is being.

 

[Claymont79]

I too have come home from weekends away to a horrible looking house and undiapered/unchanged kids. At that time I had a fit, but I’ve grown up since then and see that DH did his best. His best is just not like what I would do.

The last time I went was this past June, and while the house was not in the best condition, all had survived. I was grateful for the time away but think that with the 5 at home right now we will do a family camp retreat next time if we can swing it.

I love my DH and don’t know what I would do without him even with all his flaws. Everyone comes to that realization in their own time, being judgmental of others doesn’t help.

 

[EvelynEVF]

Chosen, I think you did a fabulous job. You took on a huge task.

That said, I think Liberano is right. There needs to be a transition time for your wife, when she debriefs and eases back into real life, even if it’s just an hour.

Personally, I struggle with sensory overload sometimes. Coming back from quiet time in a minimalist environment, walking in the door to kid noise and kid mess is overwhelming.

It would be wise for both of you to talk, once you’re cooled down, about how you can both facilitate that, and even some ways you can plan the weekend together to make it run more smoothly, like meals made ahead of time, playdates scheduled, etc.

Find ways to love each other right now so that you can use this as a growing and learning experience instead of a wedge of resentment.