Epic topic resurrection!
Katherine,
Along the lines of those secular third order is a formation house. They have been growing more popular recently, and I know there were a number of them in southern California where I lived. They were often converted convents or on a parish’s property. The ones I’m familiar with would have around ten people who are very serious about discernment who live together in community and serve the parish in various ways to discern whether religious life and/or life in community may be for them. I would encourage you to ask your pastor, or call your archdiocese office and see what they have. You may need to move in order to do this, though. I know one girl who moved from Nebraska to LA to join one of these formation houses.
Someone mentioned paying down loans and debts. I’ll tell you what I’ve been told: money should never be a determining factor in discernment. There are groups who help pay down or pay off student loan debt in order to foster vocations, so there is that option. Personal debt (credit cards, car loans, mortgage, etc) are your responsibility though. If God wills it, he will make it happen.
Vocation directors tend to advise people to wait two years after converting, as someone mentioned. Zeal and enthusiasm fluctuate, and they will, make no mistake about it. Some days you will be very excited for it, some you will think that it is the last thing that you want, some days you won’t think about it at all. For we know that, “The testing of your faith produces perseverance.” Vocations are hard, but we don’t choose, we are chosen. If you feel you have been chosen, then definitely, as others have mentioned, pray about it.
Also, again as mentioned by others, don’t make this decision in a vacuum. Talk to your pastor, and even your RCIA director. If you have friends you think may understand, talk to them about it. However, keep in mind many friends don’t respond the way we think they might. Some people make the decision based on what others tell them; someone asks if he or she has ever considered a religious vocation. That’s poor motivation.
Keep in mind also that there are a lot of criteria that should be met for religious, but not all of them are necessary to enter into the life, or even enter as a postulant. God shapes us and forms us, and he never ceases to do that as long as we are open to His workings. For instance, if you don’t consider yourself a particularly patient person, that is something that you can work on, so long as you recognize that, and are willing to actively work on it, and struggle with it. Some people say, however, that there are certain things that are just part of our nature, who we are; some religious are not particularly people-friendly, and that is simply something they have to work with during their life-long formation. Some things, like a love of Christ, are crucial for vocations.
For me, the biggest question I have to ask is if I am really ready to serve everyone as the lowest, the weakest, and put everyone else’s needs before mine. The life of the concecrated is a life of true service to the visible and especially to the invisible. If we are unable to surrender ourselves, even those little parts that we want to hold on to and say “mine!” then we will not be able to follow Christ as he he asks.
As always, remember, there is nothing “wrong” with not having a particular vocation to religious life. As Lumen Gentium affirmed, we are all called to holiness, no matter what we do.
I hope I am not preaching, and that there is something here that is helpful for you. I will keep you in my prayers.
–Andrew