Getting Away from the Kids?!

[Iheartcoffee]

The best thing you can give your kids is a good marriage. If you and your spouse want to get away for a few hours (or a few days) then do it. You are not abandoning them by leaving them with grandparents or friends temporarily. Kids can benefit from developing relationships with others around them at a young age besides just mom and dad. I spent so much time with my grandparents when I was little I just about should have changed my mailing address. It didn’t take anything away from my relationship with my parents. It gave me a chance to be around more people that care for me. I gained a great and close relationship with my grandparents and without sacrificing a relationship with my parents.

I have occasionally babysat for a friend’s child while his parents go out. He is my awesome little buddy and I love that he smiles and recognizes me whenever I see them. He is adorable and I hope that as he grows up he realizes even his parents’ friends adore him and care about him. He is quite the social little one and I think he loves the attention of other people which makes it easier for his parents to go see a movie or go out to dinner together once in a while.

 

[EasterJoy]

We have never done a date night even before parenthood. My parents never did and their marriage was beautiful. We don’t eat out much. We do lots of activities as a family. We brought our baby with us for our anniversary dinner. We were honored to go as a family. It wasn’t a big deal to us to take the baby, in fact, we felt it was the best anniversary we ever had. I take immense delight in being a parent; not ready to get away any time in the foreseeable future. No vacation alone sounds as fun to me as hanging out my toddler. A 2 week vacation to anywhere I want to go but without my child…I am not interested.

Our kids are 14, and we still all like spending time with each other. It is not the restaurant that makes “date night” work. It is carving out time for each other. A couple that does that on a daily basis could easily decide they don’t need a date night, let alone vacations without their kids. It isn’t just being in physical proximity, though. It is being able to re-connect the friendship in a close way.

I would definitely count doing just about anything with my husband as a “date”. I really enjoy doing practical projects with him. Our boys do, too. It just depends on the person, though. For some women, going camping feels like a vacation for them, even if it is a lot of work. For others, it is not something they enjoy much, and although they go and help everyone else have a great time, it is fair if such a person considers a camping trip a big “you guys owe me one.”

 

[EasterJoy]

So every single interaction together is labeled date night?

A date is whatever both of you consider a date. If that means a trip to look at decking materials at Home Depot, that’s up to the two of you. If you can talk freely just the same whether you have a baby along or not, that is up to you…both of you, though. It is whatever you agree gives you that unobstructed ability to re-connect. If one of you thinks something is a “date” and the other doesn’t, though, then it does not count as a date. (That is, one of you is not going to feel as if the outing attends to his or her needs as a spouse.)

 

[VeritasLuxMea]

Perhaps the definition is not clear. Define date night.
So does every time we left the house to do anything together pre parenthood count as a date night?

I would define a “date” as any recreational activity undertaken by a romantic couple, typically (but definitely not always) involving an excursion outside of the home: going to the movies, going bowling, going to a concert or a festival, attending a dance, dining out, a walk in the park, etc.

What did you mean when you said you never had a “date night” even before you were parents? I think we must have very different definitions. BTW, I’m not attacking you or insulting you at all, I’m just very curious!

 

[aloe]

What did you mean when you said you never had a “date night” even before you were parents? I think we must have very different definitions!

I think I was not understanding the definition as now it just makes no sense at all.

 

[VeritasLuxMea]

I think I was not understanding the definition as now it just makes no sense at all.

Well, there’s no official definition of “date,” so you can define it however you want. What did you mean by date? (If you simply don’t want to answer, that’s OK.)