C
chevalier
Guest
Thank you, Robaynne. I still feel some very special connection with that girl, but I’m no longer sure she’s the right one, nor am I willing to enter into a romantic relationship knowing she’s practically reserving for herself the right to make the decision to have no children. I know my canon law. Looks like I’ll have to get over her, though I’m sure God isn’t done with her yet. And I still feel connected with her in a certain special way, as well as responsible for her.
Something else has happened, though. It’s rare to see someone younger than 60 at mass on a weekday, but today I saw a girl more or less my age actually go up for communion and even pray before, and stay through the littany to Divine Mercy until the very end (you can probably visualise people leaving without the blessing the moment the Divine Mercy office starts). Imagine the size of my jawdrop. I bet I had eyes like saucers. What was scary was that at the sign of peace she looked at me (here we look around and nod towards people we can’t reach with a handshake) and it was quite focused but I couldn’t read the expression. I could swear it was the same one I passed when leaving an empty churchyard way after the last mass. Scary. At any rate, “They exist!”
It’s not something I’ll be giving up (not talking about any specific person but the general idea).
I have a little of a problem even potentially considering myself the most important person in my life. This is no genuine altruism, it’s just a way of thinking and the conditioning. I don’t even want to come up with any list of requirements, but I’m more into doing God’s will and working with what I get - and quite frankly, I’d rather be surprised. I surely can think of a number of good signs or deal breakers, as well as several compatibility needs or issues (and I’m not talking only about Canon 1095), so don’t worry about not knowing what I want.
I think it’s a good thing you talk about falling in love. I don’t believe in matchmaking and jumping into it after ticking off a number of positions on a list, and I believe feelings matter. However, I’m not looking right now, just staying open. I still need to heal after the last one. I certainly have the impression that something’s going on “behind my back” (whoever it be connected with, but I’ve been praying a lot for the ex, and recently also more for the future wife), but I have no idea what it is and no condition of brain to decypher it. I’m too drained for that and I have the suspicion it’s a bit beyond my understanding.
As of now, thanks for all the prayers and advice. It’s really helping me. So is the Church, prayer, Gregorian chants, friends. Besides, I think I’m experiencing it that God cares for me. Not only all those little things happening (sometimes immediately) after my prayers as in response, but also something more on the inside.
Something else has happened, though. It’s rare to see someone younger than 60 at mass on a weekday, but today I saw a girl more or less my age actually go up for communion and even pray before, and stay through the littany to Divine Mercy until the very end (you can probably visualise people leaving without the blessing the moment the Divine Mercy office starts). Imagine the size of my jawdrop. I bet I had eyes like saucers. What was scary was that at the sign of peace she looked at me (here we look around and nod towards people we can’t reach with a handshake) and it was quite focused but I couldn’t read the expression. I could swear it was the same one I passed when leaving an empty churchyard way after the last mass. Scary. At any rate, “They exist!”
It’s not something I’ll be giving up (not talking about any specific person but the general idea).I have a little of a problem even potentially considering myself the most important person in my life. This is no genuine altruism, it’s just a way of thinking and the conditioning. I don’t even want to come up with any list of requirements, but I’m more into doing God’s will and working with what I get - and quite frankly, I’d rather be surprised. I surely can think of a number of good signs or deal breakers, as well as several compatibility needs or issues (and I’m not talking only about Canon 1095), so don’t worry about not knowing what I want.
I think it’s a good thing you talk about falling in love. I don’t believe in matchmaking and jumping into it after ticking off a number of positions on a list, and I believe feelings matter. However, I’m not looking right now, just staying open. I still need to heal after the last one. I certainly have the impression that something’s going on “behind my back” (whoever it be connected with, but I’ve been praying a lot for the ex, and recently also more for the future wife), but I have no idea what it is and no condition of brain to decypher it. I’m too drained for that and I have the suspicion it’s a bit beyond my understanding.
As of now, thanks for all the prayers and advice. It’s really helping me. So is the Church, prayer, Gregorian chants, friends. Besides, I think I’m experiencing it that God cares for me. Not only all those little things happening (sometimes immediately) after my prayers as in response, but also something more on the inside.