Getting Fr Out of the Sacristy to Hear Confession

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HolySpirit08

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I need to go to Confession today and Fr is always in the sacristy chatting with the readers and altar servers prior to mass. I need to go back there and in front of everyone ask him to come to the confessional to hear my confession. I know I’ll be teased.

How would you approach this???😦
 
HolySpirit08 said:
I need to go to Confession today and Fr is always in the sacristy chatting with the readers and altar servers prior to mass. I need to go back there and in front of everyone ask him to come to the confessional to hear my confession. I know I’ll be teased.

How would you approach this???😦
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If anyone teases you, tell them MYOB.

No one has the right to tease about going to confession, just like you don’t tease about going to the doctor.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
I’m assuming there is a set time for confession at your parish and you cannot make it at that time? You could call the office and make an appointment to hear confession. Or, if you have to before mass, I would ask the priest if you could speak to him in private, then explain you would like for him to hear confession.

Just my 2 cents…
 
HolySpirit08 said:
I need to go to Confession today and Fr is always in the sacristy chatting with the readers and altar servers prior to mass. I need to go back there and in front of everyone ask him to come to the confessional to hear my confession. I know I’ll be teased.

How would you approach this???😦
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Actually, it is his obligation and duty to hear your Confession. This takes precedence over chatting with the folks in the sacristy.

From the 2000 Circular Letter on the Integrity of the Sacrament of Confession:
  1. Local Ordinaries and priests, to the degree that it applies to them, have an obligation in conscience to ensure that penitents have regular and frequent scheduled opportunities for individual and integral confession of sins in all parish churches and insofar as possible in other pastoral centres.14 In addition, priests are called upon to be generous in making themselves available outside of those scheduled times to celebrate individual and integral confession whenever the faithful would reasonably ask for it.15 "Other works, for lack of time, may have to be postponed or even abandoned, but not the confessional."16
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I hope this helps.
 
regression said:
I’m assuming there is a set time for confession at your parish and you cannot make it at that time? You could call the office and make an appointment to hear confession. Or, if you have to before mass, I would ask the priest if you could speak to him in private, then explain you would like for him to hear confession.

Just my 2 cents…
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No, this is the regular time for confession prior to mass. It’s just that our priests often don’t go into the confessional unless someone asks.
 
HolySpirit08 said:
No, this is the regular time for confession prior to mass. It’s just that our priests often don’t go into the confessional unless someone asks.
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Well, like someone posted above, he is obligated to hear confession, so I guess you just have to go and ask… I have been luck in all the churches I have gone to have had the priest sit in the confessional at the appointed time waiting on people.
 
This is the normal way to go to Confession at my parish, too. Our altar servers have been quite aware of the need for Confession - some have been quite holy themselves, and seeking priesthood. It can be reassuring for the servers, choir director, etc to know that someone does want to go to Confession! But if it is just too difficult, you could set an appointment by phone (many in our parish did this, too) or just ask Father after Mass.

BTW, though most Roman parishes have a priest waiting in the Confessional, no Eastern Catholic church I have been to has worked this way. They would have 1 or 2 times a year, such as during Holy Week, when there would be scheduled Confessions, and the other times you would approach the priest directly. It may sound more complicated at first, but really it works very, very well. The parishes tend to be small. On a regular basis, the priest is very easily available 20-30 minutes before any Liturgy, Saturday or Sunday -no need to wait, wonder how long the lines will be, hope you get in before Mass starts, etc. No need to wonder (if you’re the only one there) if maybe someone is in the confessional, maybe no one is, maybe the priest hasn’t gotten there yet, etc. Our priests tend to know the parishioners very well. It is a testament to their holiness and dedication that we go to them in confidence and with confidence to hear our Confessions. At the times when regular Confessions were scheduled, we would receive special notification from the altar, in the bulletin, sometimes even in the MAIL! We pretty much received an engraved invitation to go to Confession. Hard to refuse…
 
HolySpirit08 said:
No, this is the regular time for confession prior to mass. It’s just that our priests often don’t go into the confessional unless someone asks.
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:eek:

It sounds like nobody comes to confession at your church, which really is a shame. I know several churches, mine included, where confession lines wrap around the inside of the church for Saturday afternoon confession before Mass and that’s the way it should be.

Your priest should really be inside the confessional during confession time because requiring penitents to come get him very much defeats the whole idea of anonymous confessions and that actually can deter someone from the sacrament.

Let Father know that you’re shy and it makes you uncomfortable letting everyone in the sacristy know that you have to go to confession. It might be difficult to say that, but it will save you the awkwardness and embarrassment of having to request confession in front of an audience which is something you should not have to put up with at all.
 
passus said:
It sounds like nobody comes to confession at your church, which really is a shame. I know several churches, mine included, where confession lines wrap around the inside of the church for Saturday afternoon confession before Mass and that’s the way it should be.
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This is how it is at my parish as well, especially since we got our new Rector about a month ago - I’ve noticed the lines for confession are getting longer and longer.
passus said:
Your priest should really be inside the confessional during confession time because requiring penitents to come get him very much defeats the whole idea of anonymous confessions and that actually can deter someone from the sacrament.
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I agree with this wholeheartedly. Maybe someone could mention it to him (delicately)?
 
passus said:
:eek:

Let Father know that you’re shy and it makes you uncomfortable letting everyone in the sacristy know that you have to go to confession. It might be difficult to say that, but it will save you the awkwardness and embarrassment of having to request confession in front of an audience which is something you should not have to put up with at all.
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And this is just my two cents: I think it’s ridiculous that the OP should even have to go to that kind of trouble.

:tsktsk:

(In other words, I agree, but perhaps more emphatically so. Those words should not even have to be said.)

When confession times are published, they should be activated. If there’s some urgent reason forbidding that, a note on the confessional door for alternate times, and for the appointment phone number, should be posted.
 
I remember those days - having to interrupt the priest while he is socializing in the sacristy in order to ask him to hear my confession. It was good for humility to have all those present turn and stare at me.

Now I go to the Traditional Mass. The priest is in the confessional before every Mass. There is always time for confession. And when one is saying Mass, the other sits in the confessional up until it is time for Communion. Then he leaves the confessional, aids in the distribution of Holy Communion, and returns to the confessional.

I love my church! 🙂
 
paramedicgirl said:
Now I go to the Traditional Mass. The priest is in the confessional before every Mass. There is always time for confession. And when one is saying Mass, the other sits in the confessional up until it is time for Communion. Then he leaves the confessional, aids in the distribution of Holy Communion, and returns to the confessional.

I love my church! 🙂
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Gee, I have an identical church!
🙂
 
I prayed to the Holy Spirit to give me the strength of character to get Fr out of the sacristy. He would never ever refuse. It’s just uncomfortable to go back there. My prayers were answered. He was in the confessional hearing someone else’s confession when I arrived. It was a beautiful experience.

Many blessings and many thanks to everyone who responded.
 
HolySpirit08 said:
My prayers were answered. He was in the confessional hearing someone else’s confession when I arrived. It was a beautiful experience.
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Wonderful news! Thankfully you didn’t have to be humiliated. Even though things went well this time, what about next time? I don’t mean to burst your bubble or anything but someone should talk to him and bring up the fact that it makes people uncomfortable to approach him in front of others about needing to go to confession.

I know if I were in your shoes it would be hard for me to approach my priest with it, just because it would be uncomfortable for me, but have you thought about possibly writing an anonymous letter to him (one that is very charitable but also direct in addressing the problem?) Just a thought.

Needless to say, I am very happy that things went well for you, I’m sure it was a relief beyond words! 🙂
 
I wonder if we’re making this more difficult than what it is. If the time for confession is listed iint he bulleting, all one has to do is to gently say to Father, “I went by the confessional and there was no priest. Can you help?” This sends a clear reminder to Father that he needs to be there.

There may be few confessions in the parish, which is sad as some one else said. In that case, it would be understandable that Father waits outside the confessional. You try to sit in one of those boxes for a long period without hearing a single voice. You begin to fall asleep It’s cozy and quiet.

On the other hand, if Father got the hint that there may be more confessions, if there were a priest available according to the schedule, that might just help boost the numbers.

Our we have very few priests in our community. Most of our brothers exercise other ministries and have other vocations. We have only 7 priests in a community of 62. Anyway, our Major Superior lends our guys out to the secular parishes who may need help with confession. When the help-out arrangement is made, the Religious Superior informs the pastor that the brothers must stop hearing confessions by a certain time in order to return to the community for community recreation. The pastor then gives our brothers a schedule and everyone follows it.

You may just be having a great priest, but a poorl organized system in your parish. That’s not catostrophic. That can be fixed. Father may not even realize how the lack of structure affects you and others. You may also bring it up inside the confession. But DON’T MAKE IT PART OF YOUR CONFESSION. Either before you begin confessing or right after he tells you to go in peace. You may say something like, “This is not part of my confession, but I was wondering if you can help me. I often come to the confessional at the scheduled times and I can’t find anyone. I hate to bother the priest who’s doing something else at the time. or I hate to bother you.” You’re not lying. You do hate bothering him, even though you say he’s a really nice man. Wait and see what he says in return.

If he’s a nice man, he will sit there and think abou it. If he’s set on his ways, you’re not going to change him, even if you wave the Vatican flag in his face, never mind quoting documents. You’re best bet is to write a letter to the Chancery, very politely, and explain the problem. But the chancery will want your name and address. They may want to check if you truly belong to the parish and are a regular, not just another CAVE person.

Complain
About
Virtually
Everything

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
JReducation said:
I
There may be few confessions in the parish, which is sad as some one else said. In that case, it would be understandable that Father waits outside the confessional. You try to sit in one of those boxes for a long period without hearing a single voice. You begin to fall asleep It’s cozy and quiet.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
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Our priest is wonderful, but, he does not always go to the confessional prior to mass when confessions are scheduled to be heard unless someone asks him. That is probably because no one normally goes to confession. I have argued here in the past that I am very disappointed that the priests never mention confession in any of their homilies so people have just abandoned this sacrament and go to Communion regularly. Some are living with boyfriends/girlfriends unmarried and receive Communion regularly, some skip mass and receive Communion when they sporatically attend, some folks just attend mass once or twice a year or at funerals and receive Communion. It’s a fairly small community so the priests must notice this yet say nothing.

I don’t expect the priest to sit in the hot confessional waiting on penitents. There is a 15 minute time period for confessions prior to the vigil mass on Saturdays. One visiting priest is excellent and stands outside the door of the confessional which is cool and comfortable for him and inviting for anyone who has the guts to enter the confessional in front of the entire arriving congregation. Our church is set up that way…the confessional is next to the altar!!:eek:

One can also call to set up an appointment but I think that’s so unnecessary for me anyway, as my sins aren’t earth shattering and the priests are so overworked anyway.
 
HolySpirit08 said:
No, this is the regular time for confession prior to mass. It’s just that our priests often don’t go into the confessional unless someone asks.
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If it’s the scheduled time for confessions, then he needs to be in the confessional.
 
Perhpas he would do better to change the times of confession. I know I belong to a very large parish, but no one thinks anything of lining up for confession even when there are others in the church. But if it is intimidating for people to line up while others are arriving for Mass, or Father finds it difficult to prepare for Mass because he should be in the confessional, than maybe another time–weekday evening, earlier on Saturday, would be better.
 
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