L
lynnehelen
Guest
I have prayed for the redemption of everybody involved in this situation. I have made efforts to understand and amend the situation with the neighboring family mentioned in another prayer thread, with positive results. I have made efforts to conciliate my husband and to help him understand his situation with me, which he didn’t, as my life had already become very complicated when we met.
My desperation over my family of origin is what it comes down to–my father. I understand now that my mother needed medication–antipsychotic medication–when she was a young mother and that she didn’t take it and that, had she done so, the sordid, overblown, and desperate circumstances for me and then for my brother, and for herself, might have been averted. We would have had an identified mentally ill mother. I believe she was identified that way anyway, just nobody said so.
What it comes down to is that it would have been because of my father that she refused this medication. Somewhere in the beating that he took as a working class kid in England with a physically abusive mother during WWII, the devil got in. I mentioned his over-intelligence and how he used it to come to prosperity in America, in a thread I posted last night–and how he came to over-value it.
He is unable to SUBMIT–to the police, the opinions of others, and of course, the Lord. He believes he is special and has special rights because of the contributions he made to the technical industry.
He is a saidist. He has a window on my mind through his sexual abuse of me. He torments me in the night. My mother is attended to. She is actually, in her own way, a noble and gentle spirit, a great heart. She was misled. By my father. I am scared of him. He addles people. He addled my psychologist. It has taken 5 YEARS to straighten it out. He addled my husband. Just now, he is trying to addle me. It passes through him in his sleep when I am up at night like this. He is old. People get that way at his age. I do not want to be alone with this any more. He is my own father. He has the power over me of having held and known me as a defenseless infant. He makes me afraid to try to think it through.
I take my medication. My psycological disorder is well-controlled, insofar as it is a part of ME. Where I need help is with the persecutin I have experienced in my family, including from my brother and sister, because I was my father’s playtoy. He was quite, shockingly, open about it, but there was noone to hear–except the Lord, who I remind myself of with my password here, so I am reassured enough to be able to write this out, but very scared. Very scared of my own father. All my life. Please pray.
My desperation over my family of origin is what it comes down to–my father. I understand now that my mother needed medication–antipsychotic medication–when she was a young mother and that she didn’t take it and that, had she done so, the sordid, overblown, and desperate circumstances for me and then for my brother, and for herself, might have been averted. We would have had an identified mentally ill mother. I believe she was identified that way anyway, just nobody said so.
What it comes down to is that it would have been because of my father that she refused this medication. Somewhere in the beating that he took as a working class kid in England with a physically abusive mother during WWII, the devil got in. I mentioned his over-intelligence and how he used it to come to prosperity in America, in a thread I posted last night–and how he came to over-value it.
He is unable to SUBMIT–to the police, the opinions of others, and of course, the Lord. He believes he is special and has special rights because of the contributions he made to the technical industry.
He is a saidist. He has a window on my mind through his sexual abuse of me. He torments me in the night. My mother is attended to. She is actually, in her own way, a noble and gentle spirit, a great heart. She was misled. By my father. I am scared of him. He addles people. He addled my psychologist. It has taken 5 YEARS to straighten it out. He addled my husband. Just now, he is trying to addle me. It passes through him in his sleep when I am up at night like this. He is old. People get that way at his age. I do not want to be alone with this any more. He is my own father. He has the power over me of having held and known me as a defenseless infant. He makes me afraid to try to think it through.
I take my medication. My psycological disorder is well-controlled, insofar as it is a part of ME. Where I need help is with the persecutin I have experienced in my family, including from my brother and sister, because I was my father’s playtoy. He was quite, shockingly, open about it, but there was noone to hear–except the Lord, who I remind myself of with my password here, so I am reassured enough to be able to write this out, but very scared. Very scared of my own father. All my life. Please pray.