Getting Married and Pregnant

[BPratt]

My daughter is engaged and resently found out she is pregnant. She was wanting to get married in March 09. She was just told by our priest that he would not marry her because she was to young. She is 19 now and will be 20 when she gets married. She also talked with another priest who said he would not marry her because she was pregnant. Both priest mention that the date she wanted was during the season of Lent and was another reason not to marry her. I’ve heard there has been weddings during the lent season.

Is there a min age for a Catholic to get married?
Can there be a wedding during the season of Lent?
Is there a rule on the bride being pregnant?

 

[kevinsgirl]

Is there a min age for a Catholic to get married?
Can there be a wedding during the season of Lent?
Is there a rule on the bride being pregnant?

Your daughter is old enough to get married.

You can have a wedding during Lent, but it is generally discouraged to have a big fancy wedding during both the Lent and Advent seasons.

Couples are generally discouraged from getting married as a result of a pregnancy, because it can later be used as an argument against the validity of the marriage (i.e. I felt I had to marry him/her because of the baby.). I have heard that priests are less concerned if the couple was already planning to get married before they found out about the pregnancy, but many priests may still have legitimate concerns.

HTH!

 

[1ke]

The priest prepares the couple for the Sacrament, and basically he determines if HE thinks they are ready.

Canonically she is old enough. Canonically you can have a wedding during Lent although it’s not typical. Canonically marriage preparation must take place-- and that is *usually *at least 6 months.

So, she is inside the 6 month window for marriage prep, just barely. She is young and the pregnancy may be pushing her to get married-- or the priest may think it is. The priest will need to meet with the couple to discern their situation with them.

There is no guarantee she can get married by March, but maybe if the priest becomes convinced that this would be a valid marriage and is not being rushed into because of the pregnancy perhaps she can be married in March.

She and the fiance need to sit down together with the priest, begin marriage preparation, and follow his guidance on the matter.

 

[AmberDale]

I got engaged when I was 19 and married at 20. Would have been sooner, but the marriage prep took like 6 months. sigh

Well 3 months after the marriage prep I got pregnant , I was not Catholic. The priest married us just fine. He knew we weren’t rushing it because of the pregnancy.

 

[Momma5]

While I was not 19, I did get married while pregnant and regretted it later. We were told by many priests that it is better to wait until after the baby is born, for several reasons. We persisted until our pastor agreed to marry us, waiving the 6 month waiting period, and instead only requiring an Engaged encounter weekend and a meeting with the parish counselor who tested our compatibility.
She pointed out that the test results showed serious problems and that we would have to be committed to stay in counseling in order to address these problems.
So, aside from the age and pregnancy status, I think it's most important that they get good pre-marital compatibility assessments and catholic marriage preparation. I imagine that there are healthy, mature 19 year olds. I was 26 and had a degree, but was really clueless in the relationship arena.

 

[AmberDale]

She pointed out that the test results showed serious problems

See with us, our compatibility test was great. Nothing came up to send red flags. We got the usual talk about “finances” and “talk to each other”. But the priest said he tells that to everyone.
But then again, we weren’t rushing anything. We got engaged in Oct 2001 and married in August 2002, baby was due in Jan 2003.

 

[Em_in_FL]

Can there be a wedding during the season of Lent?

Sounds like others have answered your two other questions… I’ll take a stab at this one…

There is no overall “rule” against weddings during Lent, but they are discouraged because of the solemn nature of the Lenten fast… it’s not normally the best time to have a “wedding feast”.

However, in extremely large parishes, when every single weekend has 3 weddings and there is a waiting list, sometimes the weekends during Lent are opened up.

Hope that helps a bit…

 

[GailMac]

Congratulations! And tell her from me I said thank you for saying yes to life!

Peace,

Gail