Getting married during Lent/Advent

[chebert7]

Our parish follows the rule / tradition to not perform marriages during lent or advent. I respect this. Is this a dictum for all parishes? I’d like to learn more about this. Can anyone suggest references?
Thanks,
chebert7

 

[Phemie]

Our parish follows the rule / tradition to not perform marriages during lent or advent. I respect this. Is this a dictum for all parishes? I’d like to learn more about this. Can anyone suggest references?
Thanks,
chebert7

Marriages are discouraged during Advent and Lent but they are not forbidden by the Church. The suggestion is that if they are to be celebrated they be low key in keeping with the penitential tone of those seasons. The Nuptial Mass is forbidden on Ash Wednesday.

Now parishes may well choose not to celebrate that sacrament during those times in the same way that they opt not to celebrate Baptisms during those times but it is not Church law.

 

[KCtheMommy]

My parish doesn’t allow these sacraments during Lent either. In fact – walking out of the church after Easter Vigil services our priest touched our infant son’s head (he was born during Advent) and said “I need to zap him finally!”

Because it’s such a time of reverence – I believe/think/opine – but will gladly ask for you tomorrow – that our priests need the time to pray and minister the Advent and the Passion with no “distractions.” The sacraments of baptism and matrimony can wait for Jesus’ sake, and that’s my best guess.

 

[Just_Lurking]

The sacraments of baptism and matrimony can wait for Jesus’ sake, and that’s my best guess.

Well, matrimony can wait for sure, but baptism is somewhat more urgent, as the baby’s soul lies in the balance.

EWTN says the same (see here).

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Baptism shouldn’t have to wait. Some dioceses discourage infant baptisms, some parishes discourage them, but they shouldn’t have to wait, as Catholics are bound to have their children baptized within the first few weeks of life.

Usually, but not always, marriages are regulated by diocese procedures. There are special procedures for those in the military, as an example, who are being shipped out and want to marry before they do so. Some dioceses will deal with military, some will refer them back to the Catholic chapel at the nearest base.

A wedding in Advent or Lent would be expected to be a little less festive in its trappings, though not in the joy of the occasion.

Your best bet is check out your diocese web site. Call the chancery or family life or marriage office if you do not see what you need in this regard.

 

[SwizzleStick]

My parish doesn’t allow these sacraments during Lent either. …

Neither my home parish growing up nor my current parish allows these sacraments during Lent/Advent either and that affected the timing of several sacraments for our family. We got married in February prior to Lent because we did not want to wait until June, which was when the next available date was open for a wedding at my home parish.

All three of our children were baptized within a couple of weeks of birth here at our current parish because they are all January babies (God does have a sense of humor) and we did not want to wait until after Lent to have them baptized. With the timing of their births, that would have been our only option and hubby and I didn’t want to wait that long, so all three were tiny infants when they were baptized. That was just fine with us because we wanted them baptized as soon as possible anyway, but it was a bit hectic to have a gathering at home so soon after their births.

 

[benedictgal]

We generally tell the couples that Advent and Lent weddings have to take on a sober nature. Many brides are shocked when we tell them that they are absolutely not allowed to have a Christmas tree for their December weddings, unless the nuptials fall during the Christmas season. Also, we recommend that they use the Sunday readings if they are getting married during and after the parish’s anticipated Sunday Mass. Furthermore, our priest will wear purple (rose, if the wedding falls during the 3rd Sunday of Advent or 4th Sunday of Lent). Actually, the brides like that one. We had one incident when the bride matched her bridesmaids to the rose-colored vestments.

We also do not allow flowers during Lent. We also ask that the couple respect the Church’s decorations (or, lack thereof) for these liturgical seasons. If they do insist on having flowers, then they must remove them as soon as the picture-taking is over.

The music should also take on a sober note. We have to remind the musicians that during Advent the Gloria is suppressed (unless it’s the Feast of the Immaculate Conception and Our Lady of Guadalupe) and that both the Alleluia and the Gloria are not allowed during Lent (unless, as far as the Gloria is concerned, we are celebrating the Feasts of the Chair of St. Peter, the Solemnity of St. Joseph and the Solemnity of the Annunciation).

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

… Actually, the brides like that one. We had one incident when the bride matched her bridesmaids to the rose-colored vestments.

My little girls used to call these two Pink Sunday, and also Barbie Sunday. They used to try to wear liturgical colors to Mass when they were preschoolers, too, so that was two big days for them. So I am rolling on the floor here at the thought of one of them attempting to get married during Advent or Lent on Leatare or Guadete, just to match up to Father’s vestments.

I just hope they don’t want to get married during Lent to match the purple. Meg loves purple.

 

[joshua1]

My wife and I married in December right in the middle of advent. The vestments were purple. there were not alot of decorations. The christmas tree is never put up until the feast of christmas, so that wasnt a problem. The music was appropriate. I dont really see a problem marrying in advent if its done with the season in mind. Our wedding mass was very spiritual and beautiful. Just as advent kinda reminds us of a new life and beginning, so does marriage. What better time is there to begin a new life at a time when the Church is celebrating a coming of a new spiritual life. We celebrate coming into each other lives completely at a time when the Church celebrates the coming of Christ into the world. I feel if you keep these ideas in mind, why not???Besides, like someone said, its not against canon law.

 

[agapewolf]

My wife and I married in December right in the middle of advent. The vestments were purple. there were not alot of decorations. The christmas tree is never put up until the feast of christmas, so that wasnt a problem. The music was appropriate. I dont really see a problem marrying in advent if its done with the season in mind. Our wedding mass was very spiritual and beautiful. Just as advent kinda reminds us of a new life and beginning, so does marriage. What better time is there to begin a new life at a time when the Church is celebrating a coming of a new spiritual life. We celebrate coming into each other lives completely at a time when the Church celebrates the coming of Christ into the world. I feel if you keep these ideas in mind, why not???Besides, like someone said, its not against canon law.

Liturgically it isn’t as big of a deal…its the party that usually follows afterwards… excessiveness, partying, etc. Doesn’t belong in a lenten/penitential/preperation season.

 

[joshua1]

I hear what you are saying about the party afterwards. Our reception could never be considered a party. It was plain and simply a reception. There was no alcohol, dancing or anything to that nature. Very low key. People have alot of parties during the time leading up to christmas. Its alot of revelry and has nothing to do with the christmas message, and there not getting married. Yet I hear no one suggesting that there be no christmas, if you want to call them that, parties. I like to think the message of advent is waiting in a joyful hope.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Yet I hear no one suggesting that there be no christmas, if you want to call them that, parties. I like to think the message of advent is waiting in a joyful hope.

I have heard in this diocese of schools, rel.ed. classes and parishes waiting on Christmas parties until the 12 days of Christmas. I think the only celebrations we have here are the philipino one and posadas, until Christmas.

I got married in Lent. We kept things very simple. Part of it was because I finally got a decree of nullity, and my fiance wanted to adopt my two children.

I’ve read and heard about Lent and Advent weddings during WWII. It used to be a tradition, if one was having a High Mass, to have music throughout the Mass, including while the couple exchanged vows. Many parishes during the lenten weddings had Low Mass if Mass was celebrated, and little-to-no music. There were abosolutely no floral arrangments. There was the two witnesses, and no other bridal party.

The dioceses and archdioceses also felt no compunction about telling people what they could and could not have at the wedding receptions. One glass of wine or beer per adult for the whole reception- No hard liquor. One dance for the bride and groom in some places, with no dancing for everybody else, as there was to be no music.