Getting married outside of the Catholic church

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Melbgirl

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Hi Everyone,

I have a question to ask and I’m hoping someone out there will be able to help me! My fiancé and I are getting married in October 2010 and have decided on a beautiful place in the Dandenongs. There is an onsite non denominational chapel that we would really like to be married in by a catholic priest. Unfortunately we have been told that because we are both Catholic it will be unlikely a priest will marry us outside the Church. My question is: is it possible for a catholic priest to marry us outside the catholic church?
If anyone can help we would really appreciate it!

Thanks
 
Your Bishop may grant a dispensation allowing you to marry outside of the Church, he also may not grant the dispensation. If he does not, you could be married in a Catholic Church and then have your reception at this other place. Speak to your Pastor about the paperwork.
 
Same thing happened to my sister - she was not granted a dispensation to get married in a nondenom chapel, but found a beautiful Catholic church to get married in and was happy as a pig in mud regardless.

Don’t get your heart so set on having the wedding in a particular place that you lose perspective. Aftera all, what could be more wonderful or beneficial than having your union blessed in God’s house - in the very presence of Jesus in the Eucharist (which you would miss out on anywhere other than a Catholic church)
 
nancy_dalrymple said:
HI, I was Catholic he wasn’t,we were married in a Gospel church but my husband was never baptized in his life we just found out. He is going to RCIA classes right now. Nancy
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If you guys were married in a Gospel Church then your husband is most likely a Born Again Christian, or you were at one time. You must know that there is no way to maintain a biblical testimony for the Gospel of salvation by faith alone while granting legitimacy to Catolic laws on marriage. When Jesus was questioned about marriage He went back to Genesis, Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female…Marriage is an original revelation given by God, it’s a creation ordinance.

Before you guys take the leap, make sure that you are ready to give up your testimony and take on canonical law. I’m stuck in that rut in road also.

Richard
 
banished said:
If you guys were married in a Gospel Church then your husband is most likely a Born Again Christian, or you were at one time. You must know that there is no way to maintain a biblical testimony for the Gospel of salvation by faith alone while granting legitimacy to Catolic laws on marriage. When Jesus was questioned about marriage He went back to Genesis, Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female…Marriage is an original revelation given by God, it’s a creation ordinance.

Before you guys take the leap, make sure that you are ready to give up your testimony and take on canonical law. I’m stuck in that rut in road also.

Richard
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The convalidation or “marriage blessing” is a ten-minute ceremony. The priest does the Canon Law stuff - all you have to do is show up with your wife or husband and say “I do.” 🙂
 
banished said:
If you guys were married in a Gospel Church then your husband is most likely a Born Again Christian, or you were at one time. You must know that there is no way to maintain a biblical testimony for the Gospel of salvation by faith alone while granting legitimacy to Catolic laws on marriage. When Jesus was questioned about marriage He went back to Genesis, Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female…Marriage is an original revelation given by God, it’s a creation ordinance.

Before you guys take the leap, make sure that you are ready to give up your testimony and take on canonical law. I’m stuck in that rut in road also.

Richard
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Richard what are you meaning? i dont quite understand , Are you becomming a Catholic?
 
Melbgirl said:
Hi Everyone,

I have a question to ask and I’m hoping someone out there will be able to help me! My fiancé and I are getting married in October 2010 and have decided on a beautiful place in the Dandenongs. There is an onsite non denominational chapel that we would really like to be married in by a catholic priest. Unfortunately we have been told that because we are both Catholic it will be unlikely a priest will marry us outside the Church. My question is: is it possible for a catholic priest to marry us outside the catholic church?
If anyone can help we would really appreciate it!

Thanks
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Make sure that you get it right the first time, because the cost for getting a sanation decree later will cause you to fall through the floor.

Richard
 
Okay, it looks like you guys weren’t very deep into Protestantism if you don’t have a testimony? Everything should be okay, but make sure that you have enough funds to cover the cost of the canonical legal transactions. I went through the process back in 76, so all I remember is that the cost was high enough to say, “ouch”. Also, becasue of you being a Catholic before you entered the Gospel Church the Bishop may require you to get up in front of everyone in church and tell them that you have turned your back on your Protestant friends, and now carry the Cross over on the Cathloic side. Well, something to that effect? One of the Brothers will probably help you with your little speach,

Richard
 
banished said:
Okay, it looks like you guys weren’t very deep into Protestantism if you don’t have a testimony? Everything should be okay, but make sure that you have enough funds to cover the cost of the canonical legal transactions. I went through the process back in 76, so all I remember is that the cost was high enough to say, “ouch”. Also, becasue of you being a Catholic before you entered the Gospel Church the Bishop may require you to get up in front of everyone in church and tell them that you have turned your back on your Protestant friends, and now carry the Cross over on the Cathloic side. Well, something to that effect? One of the Brothers will probably help you with your little speach,

Richard
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What are canonical legal transactions? How do they work? please get back
 
nancy_dalrymple said:
What are canonical legal transactions? How do they work? please get back
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Nancy, take only the advice of your own priest, and do what your priest is telling you to do.

“Banished” is only trying to frighten you - there are no costs for a marriage validation. Again, it is a free, ten minute ceremony, and the priest does all the hard stuff for you; that’s his job.

You and your husband will have this done when the priest tells you to go ahead and do it. 🙂
 
Melbgirl said:
Hi Everyone,

I have a question to ask and I’m hoping someone out there will be able to help me! My fiancé and I are getting married in October 2010 and have decided on a beautiful place in the Dandenongs. There is an onsite non denominational chapel that we would really like to be married in by a catholic priest. Unfortunately we have been told that because we are both Catholic it will be unlikely a priest will marry us outside the Church. My question is: is it possible for a catholic priest to marry us outside the catholic church?
If anyone can help we would really appreciate it!

Thanks
Click to expand...
No it is unlikely that a Catholic Priest who could marry you validly would do so outside of a Catholic church/chapel. Remember that there are may “catholic” priests, or maybe better ex-Catholic priests that are happy to do this but the Marriage is not valid and usually not recognized by the Catholic Church.
 
Okay so we have been told by 3 priests so far that they won’t marry us. Not looking good 😦 We honestly want to be married by a priest but it’s not looking promising! Does anyone know of a priest that will make an exception? We were also given theidea to have a Protestant minister to perform the ceremony so we can still have a religious ceremony…any thoughts?
We don’t want to have problems down the track with the validity of our marriage in a catholic church. I’m abit confused. Anyone help?
 
Melbgirl said:
Okay so we have been told by 3 priests so far that they won’t marry us. Not looking good 😦 We honestly want to be married by a priest but it’s not looking promising! Does anyone know of a priest that will make an exception? We were also given theidea to have a Protestant minister to perform the ceremony so we can still have a religious ceremony…any thoughts?
We don’t want to have problems down the track with the validity of our marriage in a catholic church. I’m abit confused. Anyone help?
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Catholics are obligated to get married by the rules of the Catholic church.There should not be any confusion here.We are not non- denominational. If you wish to be a practicing Catholic you will follow the guidelines of the church. If you seek marriage from a protestant minister then you will not be married according to the teachings of the Catholic Church. The Marriage will be invalid. Generally the Bishop is the one who gives permission for the place where marriages can take place outside of an actual Catholic Church. Most have said no, that the fitting place for a Sacrament is in a church where we worship and not outside or in a non catholic place of services. Try to look at what is important here- The Sacrament.
 
Melbgirl said:
Okay so we have been told by 3 priests so far that they won’t marry us.
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At all, or just not according to your terms?

Properly speaking, as long as you are both free to marry, you normally would get married at the bride’s parish church. If you aren’t attending Mass at present and thus you don’t have a parish, now would be a good time to start. 🙂
Not looking good 😦 We honestly want to be married by a priest but it’s not looking promising! Does anyone know of a priest that will make an exception?
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No, I don’t.
We were also given theidea to have a Protestant minister to perform the ceremony so we can still have a religious ceremony…any thoughts?
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You cannot receive a valid Catholic Sacrament of Marriage from a Protestant.
We don’t want to have problems down the track with the validity of our marriage in a catholic church. I’m abit confused. Anyone help?
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I don’t understand why you can’t just be married in your home parish? Why does it have to be in some non-denominational church in the Dandenongs? :confused:

You can have the reception any place you want, but the actual religious ceremony itself has to take place in a Catholic Church, normally.
 
Melbgirl said:
Okay so we have been told by 3 priests so far that they won’t marry us. Not looking good 😦 We honestly want to be married by a priest but it’s not looking promising! Does anyone know of a priest that will make an exception? We were also given theidea to have a Protestant minister to perform the ceremony so we can still have a religious ceremony…any thoughts?
We don’t want to have problems down the track with the validity of our marriage in a catholic church. I’m abit confused. Anyone help?
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You need to ask yourself why you are more concerned about getting married in a pretty location than getting married according to the teachings of the Church. Did you fall in love with your fiance because of his appearance or because of who he is as a person? Just so, don’t let appearance outweigh substance on your scale of priorities.
 
Melbgirl said:
Okay so we have been told by 3 priests so far that they won’t marry us. Not looking good 😦 **We honestly want to be married by a priest **but it’s not looking promising! Does anyone know of a priest that will make an exception? We were also given theidea to have a Protestant minister to perform the ceremony so we can still have a religious ceremony…any thoughts?
We don’t want to have problems down the track with the validity of our marriage in a catholic church. I’m abit confused. Anyone help?
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If you do want to be married by a priest and have your marriage be valid and licit in the church, then please give up this idea of being married outside of a Catholic church. I assume you are both baptized Catholics who want to remain in the church and bring your children up in the church. The best basis for a strong Catholic marriage is to stay under obedience to the church. Go to the pastor of the church you know attend and ask him what steps you must follow to be married in the church. Then follow them. This is not difficult.

The place of the wedding is just a one-day thing. Your marrige will last your entire lifetime. Give precidence to anything that will help your marriage last and be strong. Do not worry about fleeting things like what the church looks like.
 
Melbgirl said:
Okay so we have been told by 3 priests so far that they won’t marry us. Not looking good 😦 We honestly want to be married by a priest but it’s not looking promising! Does anyone know of a priest that will make an exception? We were also given theidea to have a Protestant minister to perform the ceremony so we can still have a religious ceremony…any thoughts?
We don’t want to have problems down the track with the validity of our marriage in a catholic church. I’m abit confused. Anyone help?
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As we say in the US, you are getting the cart before the horse.

FIRST thing to do is to ask for a dispensation from form from your Bishop. Your pastor will have the paperwork that needs to be filled out.

IF the Bishop grants that dispensation, then your priest would contact the priest in the town where you want to get married and arrange the details.

IF the Bishop does not grant the dispensation, your priest could contact the priest at a parish in the town where you want to have the wedding and arrange for you to be married in that parish. Then, you have your reception at the destination location.
 
I’m just throwing this out there -

Obviously you can get married in a Catholic church and then have the reception at the remote location. Is it possible to get married in a small ceremony in a Catholic church (either that morning or a day before), then have some sort of wedding blessing (i.e. not a wedding) for everyone before the reception?

That seems like a valid compromise - you’re getting married according to the Church’s teachings but you still get to have the “photo op” in front of the family outside. If you want a Catholic priest to offer the blessing (which makes sense unless one of you is protestant), I don’t know if you’ll be able to have it in the chapel, but I don’t see a reason why he couldn’t offer a blessing outside.
 
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