So if the OP is still reading this, lest there be nothing but bickering for him/her to read, maybe I can summarize and add something. This, and other threads show a division on the issue of “is it a bad idea for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic”. You could probably draw a line, indicating the spectrum of how intensely one practices their faith, or how strongly one believes that the Catholic faith is the the ONE TRUE faith. And the further down the line you get…the more intensely practiced, or the more strongly the belief of the Catholic faith being the one true faith, the STRONGER the belief that marrying outside of that faith is a bad idea. You will find more “moderate” (I hate that word, but you know what I mean) Catholics in belief and practice will be less wary of interfaith marriages. But it’s not just about whether people think it’s a good or bad idea, in practice, the stronger/more intense a person’s attachment to their faith is, the bigger the struggles/marital issues.
Think about it. If you believe that you are truly hurting yourself, and truly risking your soul by choosing to use birth control, or by missing Mass on a Sunday, or then there is a strong possibility that these things will become major issues in your marriage. Even further, if you truly believe that the Church is necessary for salvation, then it will potentially be a source of great worry and heartbreak to watch your children be torn between two faiths, or watch them get conflicting messages about faith from the two people they trust the most. On the other hand, if you don’t feel so strongly about those things, or if you feel like Catholicism is right for you, but not necessarily right for everyone, then you won’t have as much worry and heartbreak or stress. And furthermore, if you like to call yourself Catholic, but don’t particularly believe the Church’s teachings, and think of it more as a cultural thing, then even further, you will have less stress in your marriage.
But here’s the problem - which one of those are you? Are you the intense Catholic, the moderate/average Catholic, or the cultural Catholic? Yes, but which one will you be when you have children and is it possible that you will shift a bit when you become responsible for those dear souls that you will love more than your own life? It is hard to predict! Many people become more religious after they have children, and find themselves in struggles with their spouses that they never expected before they shifted their views.
And being a cultural Catholic only, doesn’t ensure that there are no struggles. My purely cultural Catholic sister in law recently expressed to me that it has been difficult being married to a Methodist (not practicing) husband and trying to get the kids to receive their sacraments. She doesn’t even want to go to church every Sunday, and she doesn’t care about things like birth control and other moral issues. But she said that when it was time to deal with the struggles of getting the kids to their sacramental prep classes, and whatever other little things that satisfied her need to be connected to Catholicism, she never had the assistance or support of her husband, who simply didn’t care about those things.
So even people who are minimally connected to their faith can experience some difficulty, but the stronger your connection, the harder it is to deal with interfaith issues. So naturally, if you are thinking ahead, and haven’t yet fallen for a non-Catholic, your best bet is to seek out other Catholics as romantic interests. It is true that sometimes God calls us to marry someone from a different religion, and it is true that sometimes the mixed faith marriage leads to a conversion to Catholicism, and that sometimes even when it stays mixed, and even when the spouses are religious, it all works out swimmingly. But these are the exceptions. And that is why the church technically doesn’t just allow mixed faith marriages. They are technically NOT allowed, until a couple is given express permission from their bishop to be an exception to the rule. Nowadays, that permission seems to be given out rather freely, but do be aware, that it is still considered to be an exception to the norm in the Church.
