Getting more frustrated each day

[Mirror_Mirror]

I have posted this in the prayer intentions, but wanted to share this here to get opinions adn support from others here.

As many of you know my situation, living in a seperate state from my pregnant wife and 3 kids due to relocation for work, I cannot help but get increasingly frustrated and hurt everyday.

I know that my wife has been the strongest person in this entire situation. This is ** so much ** harder on her than it is on me. I just wish that there was something that I can do, but we cannot make it without a job (income) and health insurance.

I am putting in a ton of applications and am not getting a lot of feedback for jobs in MO where we live. It is hard to do since I live in CO right now.

I have been putting all of this in God’s hands, trying to be patient (which is not my strong suit) through it all, but I am just feeling so let down and so forgotten at times. I know that there is a plan and a reason for all of this, but right now it is hard. It is as if we cannot catch a “break” at all.

We are doing all that we can through prayer and reliance on God, but just feel that it is more important to be together as a family so we do not see why that will not happen. I know that we cannot know what God’s plan is and for us we just do not think that it would be for us to live apart and deny our kids their father.

Extremely confused.

 

[whatevergirl]

I have posted this in the prayer intentions, but wanted to share this here to get opinions adn support from others here.

As many of you know my situation, living in a seperate state from my pregnant wife and 3 kids due to relocation for work, I cannot help but get increasingly frustrated and hurt everyday.

I know that my wife has been the strongest person in this entire situation. This is ** so much ** harder on her than it is on me. I just wish that there was something that I can do, but we cannot make it without a job (income) and health insurance.

I am putting in a ton of applications and am not getting a lot of feedback for jobs in MO where we live. It is hard to do since I live in CO right now.

I have been putting all of this in God’s hands, trying to be patient (which is not my strong suit) through it all, but I am just feeling so let down and so forgotten at times. I know that there is a plan and a reason for all of this, but right now it is hard. It is as if we cannot catch a “break” at all.

We are doing all that we can through prayer and reliance on God, but just feel that it is more important to be together as a family so we do not see why that will not happen. I know that we cannot know what God’s plan is and for us we just do not think that it would be for us to live apart and deny our kids their father.

Extremely confused.

You are in my prayers, Mirror. So, you were relocated somewhere else, but why don’t you move your family to where you are? I am not familiar with your situation, can u explain?

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

You are in my prayers, Mirror. So, you were relocated somewhere else, but why don’t you move your family to where you are? I am not familiar with your situation, can u explain?

Whatevergirl,

Thanks for asking the question, it makes me clarify some of the important points that I had left out.

The company I worked for in MO was bought out by a company in CO. Originally we decided that we were going to move to CO. We put our house on the market at the end of December. Since that time we have only had 3 people look at the house. We have lowered the price once and cannot lower it again or we would take a loss on the house and have nothing to move with. The price of everything in CO is higher and that makes things complicated.

The company has provided relocation money, but it is not “enough” to cover everything, all the necessary expenses.

Since the house is not moving I just want to be back home with my family. Fortunately, I have found very nice families here in CO that have put me up for free, but I just want to go home.

I hope this answered your questions.

 

[dulcissima]

I can see why you would be frustrated. Have you talked to your company about covering some of the closing costs on your house to allow you a little more leeway on the selling price? That is something pretty common in a relocation situation. You can also talk to your lender about a short sale. Sometimes they are willing to consider that option when there is a job relocation and no equity in the home. If your house is the only thing keeping you from being with your family, it is probably worth sacrificing it.

I am hopng though that some solution will be forthcoming for you and your family. I know it is not easy. Still praying…

 

[leonie]

Your situation made me think of Padre Pio’s father. He left Italy for months at time to make money in the USA and South America. He was raising money both to support the family and to pay for his son’s education. If he hadn’t have made the sacrifice, Padre Pio would not be a priest.

Perhaps you could ask Padre Pio to intercede for you.

 

[kage_ar]

My first suggestion, you and you wife should decide that you want to either stay in MO or move to CO. Cost of living, quality of life, which place do you really want to be. Then focus on the place you decide.

If it is moving, get creative - maybe you could lease your home in MO?

If you want to come back to MO…

Not sure what line of work you are in, but, have you tried a “head hunter”? They will look for jobs FOR you.

Are you looking for complimentry fields of work? What I mean, let’s say you are an IT person - perhaps look into a job doing training on the systems you know. Also check with vendors you have worked with back in MO. Talk to your friends in the business world back there, let them know you want to get back to Missouri. Heck, put a creative ad in the paper back home stating that you are looking there.

The distance can be so hard. Keep praying!

 

[whatevergirl]

Hi Mirror–thanks for explaining to me. I hope that things work out for you…My family and I are moving very soon …and the move TOGETHER is stressful…to an extent, I can only imagine your distress at not being with your family…I’m sorry that things are turning this way…but I’d explain the issue/problem to your employer and say that this might be a deciding factor on me moving back.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

My first suggestion, you and you wife should decide that you want to either stay in MO or move to CO. Cost of living, quality of life, which place do you really want to be. Then focus on the place you decide.

If it is moving, get creative - maybe you could lease your home in MO?

If you want to come back to MO…

Not sure what line of work you are in, but, have you tried a “head hunter”? They will look for jobs FOR you.

Are you looking for complimentry fields of work? What I mean, let’s say you are an IT person - perhaps look into a job doing training on the systems you know. Also check with vendors you have worked with back in MO. Talk to your friends in the business world back there, let them know you want to get back to Missouri. Heck, put a creative ad in the paper back home stating that you are looking there.

The distance can be so hard. Keep praying!

We are committing to staying in MO. Being in finance/accounting, I have talked with numerous headhunters and have been trying to find a job back in MO. The trouble is that I cannot keep paying to fly back and forth, you know? I want to be back home and pray that when I am there next (Tues and Wed) after Labor Day I will have some interviews lined up.

As I have stated to someone else at times it is becoming increasingly hard for my wife and I a to get away from the feeling of being “forgotten” by God. Mind you, I KNOW that this is not the case as does my wife, but it is hard to get away from that feeling. I know that I have a hard time getting away from that. It is struggle after struggle, however my wife and I remain strong in our love for each other and for our kids. I am so thankful that this is bringing us closer. I know that she is “fried” and cannot take much more without me being there.

I just sat in church by myself this evening almost in tears listening to the music and missing my wife and family terribly. I truly feel as if I cannot take much more. I feel like I am going to break. I know that I can make it through this, but right now all I feel is lost. That is the best way to describe it…lost.

Again, I know that God is there, that He cares and that He will provide, I just cannot put it into words right now…sorry!

 

[dulcissima]

I do think you need to have a talk with God and let him know just that, that you have reached that point. It seems like when I reach that point and have that talk, things either work out in some unexpected way or I at least find some renewed strength.

 

[kr2005]

For some reason I checked this thread out and I think Father’s homily from this morning might apply to you. He, among other comments, mentioned how powerful a novena can be. I’ve only done one Novena (Divine Mercy) in my life (convert) and I wasn’t looking for an answer that I would need to know now but maybe, there will be a clearer answer for you at the end of the nine days and it would also keep you from expecting one for nine days as you complete the novena. Just some thoughts to pass on and to let you know that I felt badly for your family situation and for your feelings of being lost.
Peace

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

For some reason I checked this thread out and I think Father’s homily from this morning might apply to you. He, among other comments, mentioned how powerful a novena can be. I’ve only done one Novena (Divine Mercy) in my life (convert) and I wasn’t looking for an answer that I would need to know now but maybe, there will be a clearer answer for you at the end of the nine days and it would also keep you from expecting one for nine days as you complete the novena. Just some thoughts to pass on and to let you know that I felt badly for your family situation and for your feelings of being lost.
Peace

Thanks for checking out the post and for passing along the information. We do appreciate the concern, it is nice to know that we can share our feelings here and get it off our chest, if you will. I did a 30 day novena to St. Joseph that ended on Friday as did my novena to St. Jude. Maybe the “took the weekend off” and are ready to answer on Monday

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I can see why you would be frustrated. Have you talked to your company about covering some of the closing costs on your house to allow you a little more leeway on the selling price? That is something pretty common in a relocation situation. You can also talk to your lender about a short sale. Sometimes they are willing to consider that option when there is a job relocation and no equity in the home. If your house is the only thing keeping you from being with your family, it is probably worth sacrificing it.

I am hopng though that some solution will be forthcoming for you and your family. I know it is not easy. Still praying…

I just wanted to let you know that the company that I work for will not do this…at present time, they are not being very understanding or family friendly.

Thanks for the prayers.

 

[mamacita]

Thanks for checking out the post and for passing along the information. We do appreciate the concern, it is nice to know that we can share our feelings here and get it off our chest, if you will. I did a 30 day novena to St. Joseph that ended on Friday as did my novena to St. Jude. Maybe the “took the weekend off” and are ready to answer on Monday

I, being the “wife”, have done a St. Joseph novena, Divine Mercy Novena (that ended on Divine Mercy Sunday) and now a Mother of Perpetual Help Novena. Along with daily rosary, and going to weekday mass.
It is just frustrating to not “hear” what
God is trying to say to us. Being pregnant, trying to sell a home, and raise 3 kids w/out much help from family is not an easy thing…I just don’t know how much longer this ‘trial’ is going to last At the same time though I do everyday count my blessings by telling myself ‘at least he (my husband) is here in the states and not in harm’s way oversees’ like our brave soldiers are. Or 'at least we have our health", a neighbor down our street in his mid 20’s with 2 little girls just became paralized recently and is in a wheelchair and due to lung complications from the accident he cannot even go outside. So at times I feel like “oh, this is nothing compared to what some people go through” but on the other hand the not knowing what God wants or how long things will stay like this always bothers me. Know what I mean??

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I, being the “wife”, have done a St. Joseph novena, Divine Mercy Novena (that ended on Divine Mercy Sunday) and now a Mother of Perpetual Help Novena. Along with daily rosary, and going to weekday mass.
It is just frustrating to not “hear” what
God is trying to say to us. Being pregnant, trying to sell a home, and raise 3 kids w/out much help from family is not an easy thing…I just don’t know how much longer this ‘trial’ is going to last At the same time though I do everyday count my blessings by telling myself ‘at least he (my husband) is here in the states and not in harm’s way oversees’ like our brave soldiers are. Or 'at least we have our health", a neighbor down our street in his mid 20’s with 2 little girls just became paralized recently and is in a wheelchair and due to lung complications from the accident he cannot even go outside. So at times I feel like “oh, this is nothing compared to what some people go through” but on the other hand the not knowing what God wants or how long things will stay like this always bothers me. Know what I mean??

Hi honey!!

 

[newbetx]

I often wonder, if in getting these challenges, one is not actually being honored by God. I was always told that “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” Well, the Saints and Martyrs never had it easy, so there may be something to it. So maybe, this is some “stretch goal” He’s put you up to.

You two sound like a very loving couple. I hope home life returns to normal for you very soon. I can not even imagine the stress.

I’d like to add that a few years ago, a co-worker moved with her husband to Colorado. She’s been telecommuting ever since. With Instant messaging, conference calls, Net meeting, etc, she spends little face time with us anymore, but she’s always there to help. If that is not possible with your current company, it could increase your options finding another company to work for.

Good luck and God Bless you all.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I often wonder, if in getting these challenges, one is not actually being honored by God. I was always told that “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” Well, the Saints and Martyrs never had it easy, so there may be something to it. So maybe, this is some “stretch goal” He’s put you up to.

Thanks for reminding me of this. I am constantly telling others exactly what you have said “God will not give you more than you can handle” and it is refreshing to hear it.

My struggle is I know that I can handle it, I have “proved” that I can as has my wife and quite frankly we are tired of it. To us it seems (call us crazy) that it would be more beneficial for our kids to have their dad at home and my wife to have her husband to help her while she is pregnant. We have had our fair share of crosses to bear and I am not going to sit here and complain about that, we bear them with the strength of God, right now we just want to be back together as a family.

You two sound like a very loving couple. I hope home life returns to normal for you very soon. I can not even imagine the stress.

We thank you for the compliment, it is nice to hear. Our Catholic faith is what allows us to weather this storm right now. We would be lost without God. We are just looking for His help to bring us back together as a family. Thanks be to God we have not fallen victim to the stress, this has only brought us closer together. But we feel that our hearts have grown fond enough in the absence and are ready to be able to hold each other. You cannot understand how hard it is not to be able to kiss your wife goodnight or to hold your kids and hug them as tight as you can, feeling that unconditional love.

I’d like to add that a few years ago, a co-worker moved with her husband to Colorado. She’s been telecommuting ever since. With Instant messaging, conference calls, Net meeting, etc, she spends little face time with us anymore, but she’s always there to help. If that is not possible with your current company, it could increase your options finding another company to work for.

Good luck and God Bless you all.

I would love to be able to do that and actually it would be possible, it is just the company that I work for is not very ‘family-friendly’ when it comes to that. It is possible and could work, but they would rather make it difficult on me. I truly wish that was an option, I would take it in a heartbeat.

Thanks for your kind words, they are refreshing to hear.

 

[Brenda_V]

Mirror Mirror and Mamacita I am so sorry this is happening to you two and your family .

Have you considered renting your current home so you could all still be together and not have to worry about the mortgage? Or do a “rent to own” deal.

Also, how soon is the baby due? Should you wait now until he/she is in your arms? Just some small things to consider in the meantime.

I will be praying for you all as you struggle with these living arrangements for now.

Brenda V.

 

[CatholicSam]

I know people are suggesting novenas, but I thought I’d suggest the 54 day Rosary novena. 3 Rosaries of petition followed with 3 Rosaries of thanksgiving. I think there is a booklet that guides you through it. I don’t know much about it, but maybe someone else can jump in, or you could do an internet search. Your family will be in our prayers!

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Mirror Mirror and Mamacita I am so sorry this is happening to you two and your family .

Have you considered renting your current home so you could all still be together and not have to worry about the mortgage? Or do a “rent to own” deal.

Also, how soon is the baby due? Should you wait now until he/she is in your arms? Just some small things to consider in the meantime.

I will be praying for you all as you struggle with these living arrangements for now.

Brenda V.

Brenda,

Thanks so much for the prayers, we do appreciate it. We considered renting for a short time, but it was a very short time. We do not want to deal with that, plus I do not think that we will get what we would need for the rental price. Unfortunately, we are stuck between a rock and a hard place.

My wife is due on October 10th. The sooner I can get home the better, my wife does not need to be under this type of stress, she needs me to be there as do the kids.

There are so many little things to consider and trust me we have covered about 99% of them.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Just a quick update on recent developments.

I guess we have not solidified our decision to stay in MO and not relocate to CO. We took our house off the market yesterday. I guess that time will tell if this is the right decision, but we truly feel that we are called to be where we are especially in the community and our parish. Hopefully we will not be apart much longer.

So far when I am in MO next week, I have one interview scheduled. I keep telling myself that one is better than none, but I hope that with all of the resumes that I have posted and recruiters that I have talked to I can get more. Am I looking a gift horse in the mouth?