Getting my child baptized

[allejo]

I am Catholic but I did not have my oldest daughter Baptized yet. She just turned 8 years old and is 2nd grade. She has been in Catholic School since she was 5 years old and has been attending weekly Mass with her classmates as well as Mass on other occasions. I always intended to have her Baptized but procrastinated. I had thought children could be Baptized at any point up until the time for Conformation, which for me, occurred when I was in 5th grade.

I’m am being told she can’t participate in First Reconciliation with her classmates because she is not Baptized and will have to attend RCIA classes which would mean she would several the Sacraments at the same time and not with any of her classmates.Why should she have to go to extra classes at night and have to rush to get her homework completed? This seems like a waste of time and following rules just for the sake of control instead of common sense.

This makes absolutely no sense to me. What is the point of Catholic School if she need extra classes when her classmates do not? Why am I paying the extra money if what is being taught in her Religion classes aren’t enough. I’ve actually been paying twice the amount of the normal tuition because she is not Baptized. Perhaps I should save the money and just send her to Public school The only difference between her and them is their parents had them baptized before the Age of Reason.

Why can’t she be Baptized so she can participate in the other Sacraments with her classmates? She wants to be Catholic! Why make it difficult? Why should she be left out?Many people are leaving the church or just don’t participate. Why make pupil of a Catholic School jump through hoops?

The best part of this is the local RCIA director said this would be up to the pastor BUT he told me to talk to the director!

It seems so easy, just Baptize her and let her join her classmates and begin her life as a happy.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Being a child, she won’t go to RCIA simply because the A in RCIA stands for “adults”. She’d just be required to go to CCD if she isn’t going yet and probably be put in some sort of catch-up class.

 

[Vico]

I am Catholic but I did not have my oldest daughter Baptized yet. She just turned 8 years old and is 2nd grade. She has been in Catholic School since she was 5 years old and has been attending weekly Mass with her classmates as well as Mass on other occasions. I always intended to have her Baptized but procrastinated. I had thought children could be Baptized at any point up until the time for Conformation, which for me, occurred when I was in 5th grade.

I’m am being told she can’t participate in First Reconciliation with her classmates because she is not Baptized and will have to attend RCIA classes which would mean she would several the Sacraments at the same time and not with any of her classmates.Why should she have to go to extra classes at night and have to rush to get her homework completed? This seems like a waste of time and following rules just for the sake of control instead of common sense.

This makes absolutely no sense to me. What is the point of Catholic School if she need extra classes when her classmates do not? Why am I paying the extra money if what is being taught in her Religion classes aren’t enough. I’ve actually been paying twice the amount of the normal tuition because she is not Baptized. Perhaps I should save the money and just send her to Public school The only difference between her and them is their parents had them baptized before the Age of Reason.

Why can’t she be Baptized so she can participate in the other Sacraments with her classmates? She wants to be Catholic! Why make it difficult? Why should she be left out?Many people are leaving the church or just don’t participate. Why make pupil of a Catholic School jump through hoops?

The best part of this is the local RCIA director said this would be up to the pastor BUT he told me to talk to the director!

It seems so easy, just Baptize her and let her join her classmates and begin her life as a happy.

I am sorry that it is more difficult now.

It is because she has attained the age of reason (age 8) so now has to understand what baptism is before receiving it. Canon law restricts what the clergy can do:

Can. 852
§1 The provisions of the canons on adult baptism apply to all those who, being no longer infants, have reached the use of reason.
§2 One who is incapable of personal responsibility is regarded as an infant even in regard to baptism.

 

[bnbkaine]

She would go through RCIC if there is a person who would be willing to teach it; however, she would be in RCIA if there are not. Please don’t blame the church for following the rules for your child when you are the one that procrastinated for EIGHT years to get her baptized. I am not trying to be critical, but this should have been taken care of well before this point in time. There seemed to be a lot of people not doing their jobs.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

For the purpose of baptism, the Church divides people into two groups: infants and adults. Infants are children up to the age of reason (around 7 years). Infants are baptized at their parents’ request, then receive their First Communion and Confirmation (the other sacraments of initiation) at a later time.

Adults receive all of their sacraments of initiation at once at the Easter Vigil.

The fact that your daughter is an “adult” means that she will go through various rites (the “R” in RCIA). That doesn’t mean that she will be catechized with adults. She will still be in class with other children her age. You and she will work with the RCIA director of the parish to make sure she has everything she needs to enter the Church.

 

[catharina]

I am Catholic but I did not have my oldest daughter Baptized yet. She just turned 8 years old and is 2nd grade. She has been in Catholic School since she was 5 years old and has been attending weekly Mass with her classmates as well as Mass on other occasions. I always intended to have her Baptized but procrastinated. I had thought children could be Baptized at any point up until the time for Conformation, which for me, occurred when I was in 5th grade.

I’m am being told she can’t participate in First Reconciliation with her classmates because she is not Baptized and will have to attend RCIA classes which would mean she would several the Sacraments at the same time and not with any of her classmates.Why should she have to go to extra classes at night and have to rush to get her homework completed? The answer is because YOU made a very poor, uninformed choice. That’s WHY. This seems like a waste of time and following rules just for the sake of control instead of common sense.

This makes absolutely no sense to me. What is the point of Catholic School if she need extra classes when her classmates do not? Why am I paying the extra money if what is being taught in her Religion classes aren’t enough. I’ve actually been paying twice the amount of the normal tuition because she is not Baptized. Perhaps I should save the money and just send her to Public school The only difference between her and them is their parents had them baptized before the Age of Reason.

Why can’t she be Baptized so she can participate in the other Sacraments with her classmates? She wants to be Catholic! Why make it difficult? Why should she be left out?Many people are leaving the church or just don’t participate. Why make pupil of a Catholic School jump through hoops?

The best part of this is the local RCIA director said this would be up to the pastor BUT he told me to talk to the director!

It seems so easy, just Baptize her and let her join her classmates and begin her life as a happy.

 

[allejo]

Being a child, she won’t go to RCIA simply because the A in RCIA stands for “adults”. She’d just be required to go to CCD if she isn’t going yet and probably be put in some sort of catch-up class.

What would she need to catch up on? She’s been in Catholic School as long as physical possible. What has she missed that the other kids in her class received other than being Baptized before the Age of Reason?

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

What would she need to catch up on? She’s been in Catholic School as long as physical possible. What has she missed that the other kids in her class received other than being Baptized before the Age of Reason?

For the most part she will probably be in the regular religious education classes for children. She’ll need some additional instruction about the sacraments she’s going to receive.

And it’s very important for you to realize that just because she won’t need to prepare for Confirmation when she gets older, she should still remain in religious education classes and learn about and grow in her faith.

 

[Julian0404]

Something is a little off with our scenario. When enrolling in a Catholic School, in the early elementary - classes, you are generally required to produce a Baptismal Certificate. However, in the event that truly fell through the cracks of your enrollment, you are complaining that because of your ignorance of the faith, your child should not have to follow the customs and traditions of the faith - which would only exacerbate the whole issue of “poor” religious education by you, the parent.

You need to break the cycle, acknowledge that it is ultimately your fault, step up and correct the situation in accordance with the faith, versus requesting exception to the rules.

 

[catharina]

Something is a little off with our scenario. When enrolling in a Catholic School, in the early elementary - classes, you are generally required to produce a Baptismal Certificate. However, in the event that truly fell through the cracks of your enrollment, you are complaining that because of your ignorance of the faith, your child should not have to follow the customs and traditions of the faith - which would only exacerbate the whole issue of “poor” religious education by you, the parent.

You need to break the cycle, acknowledge that it is ultimately your fault, step up and correct the situation in accordance with the faith, versus requesting exception to the rules.

Mom says they (parents) pay more tuition for this child since she is not baptized and that’s always been the case. For mom to continue to blame anyone else and seek an exception is sort of outrageous, imo. I feel very sorry for the little girl - to be dragged into the middle of such a mess.

 

[laszlo]

The hard to understand point is, why the child wasn’t baptized when she entered the Kindergarten?

As for the Canon Law, she reached the maturity, so cannot be baptized against her will (once I had seen a baptism of a 5 years old who was constantly yelling: I do not want to be baptized) but this those not mean that she fit to any RCIA class.

The probably problem is that either both parents (if they live together) had to give consent to the baptism and agree that the child will be raised as Catholic, and in this case the parents had to be participated in a pre-baptism course; or the child has to wait until she get adult and fit to the RCIA class to be baptized on her own.

Exceptions are allowed for reasonable cases. The local pastor had to be approached for decision.

 

[allejo]

She would go through RCIC if there is a person who would be willing to teach it; however, she would be in RCIA if there are not. Please don’t blame the church for following the rules for your child when you are the one that procrastinated for EIGHT years to get her baptized. I am not trying to be critical, but this should have been taken care of well before this point in time. There seemed to be a lot of people not doing their jobs.

You are right. It’s my fault. I should have know Canon Law. I should have had her Baptized years ago. I should have known the Church would make this much more complicated. I should have done my job. I should have ignored my weakened faith in the Church after all the things that have happened in recent years.

My daughter has been in the same Catholic school for Pre-K, Kindergarten, 1st grade and is now halfway through 2nd grade. 3 and a half years of school. Never did anyone contact me about having her Baptized. Never did anyone mention anything about the Age of Reason begins at age 7. They did, however, collect double the tuition because she is considered a non-Catholic.

If I did such a bad job not having her Baptized because it was so vital for my child’s salvation, what does it say about the people responsible for tending to the members of the Church? If the Church feels it is so important one would think the pastor would have contacted us. Perhaps even visited my home. Instead nothing was ever said but the checks were cashed.

If you want to criticize me and support the Church I understand. I apologize for being sarcastic but it is difficult understanding why this isn’t more simple. Jesus simpliy showed up and was Baptized in a river!

Does it really make sense to not allow a child to participate in the Sacraments with her classmates instead of separately? What is she going to do in class while the rest of the students are preparing for Holy Communion and Conformation? Help teach the class? She already knows everything to be said and done for First Penance.

It seems being absolved from Original Sin is easier than being absolved of the sin of a procrastating father.

 

[catharina]

You are right. It’s my fault. I should have know Canon Law. I should have had her Baptized years ago. I should have known the Church would make this much more complicated. I should have done my job. I should have ignored my weakened faith in the Church after all the things that have happened in recent years.

My daughter has been in the same Catholic school for Pre-K, Kindergarten, 1st grade and is now halfway through 2nd grade. 3 and a half years of school. Never did anyone contact me about having her Baptized. Never did anyone mention anything about the Age of Reason begins at age 7. They did, however, collect double the tuition because she is considered a non-Catholic.

If I did such a bad job not having her Baptized because it was so vital for my child’s salvation, what does it say about the people responsible for tending to the members of the Church? If the Church feels it is so important one would think the pastor would have contacted us. Perhaps even visited my home. Instead nothing was ever said but the checks were cashed.

If you want to criticize me and support the Church I understand. I apologize for being sarcastic but it is difficult understanding why this isn’t more simple. Jesus simpliy showed up and was Baptized in a river!

Does it really make sense to not allow a child to participate in the Sacraments with her classmates instead of separately? What is she going to do in class while the rest of the students are preparing for Holy Communion and Conformation? Help teach the class? She already knows everything to be said and done for First Penance.

It seems being absolved from Original Sin is easier than being absolved of the sin of a procrastating father.

Very tough to accept the notion that you “didn’t know any better” - really. The child is eight yrs old! It is NOT the responsibility of the Church to question why your daughter was not baptized - ever ever ever. She could have been born outside your marriage and child support - court-ordered - might have kept her unbaptized. The responsibility as a parent was and IS yours. If the church had come knocking at your door with questions, you might have said “HEY! None of your business.” Please don’t blame the Church for something that is completely your own fault. Get angry at yourself instead!

 

[allejo]

Very tough to accept the notion that you “didn’t know any better” - really. The child is eight yrs old! It is NOT the responsibility of the Church to question why your daughter was not baptized - ever ever ever. She could have been born outside your marriage and child support - court-ordered - might have kept her unbaptized. The responsibility as a parent was and IS yours. If the church had come knocking at your door with questions, you might have said “HEY! None of your business.” Please don’t blame the Church for something that is completely your own fault. Get angry at yourself instead!

How many people really know Canon Law other than the people on these forums? Many of the websites I’ve looked at were filled with people arguing about Canon Law and what it really says and what the exceptions may or may not be?

 

[allejo]

Something is a little off with our scenario. When enrolling in a Catholic School, in the early elementary - classes, you are generally required to produce a Baptismal Certificate. However, in the event that truly fell through the cracks of your enrollment, you are complaining that because of your ignorance of the faith, your child should not have to follow the customs and traditions of the faith - which would only exacerbate the whole issue of “poor” religious education by you, the parent.

You need to break the cycle, acknowledge that it is ultimately your fault, step up and correct the situation in accordance with the faith, versus requesting exception to the rules.

I want her to follow the customs of and traditions of the faith. I just think it would be nice for her to do so with her classmates.

She has been receiving a Catholic education for as long as physically possible at the local Catholic School.

 

[catharina]

How many people really know Canon Law other than the people on these forums? Many of the websites I’ve looked at was filled with people arguing about Canon Law and what it really says and what the exceptions may or may not be?

Please get over the Canon Law notion.

Any Catholic family has tradition that says
“Baptize as soon as possible after birth.”
If your family had no such tradition, my sympathy to you.

I was born in late Nov of 1945.
I was baptized in the parish church on Jan 10 1946 -
during a blizzard. A Marine corps uncle, just home
from WWII was entrusted with getting me to the church -
on foot. It’s hard for me to imagine that one isn’t aware of
the importance of early Baptism if one is Catholic.

You say you didn’t know. OK. WHY didn’t you know?

 

[allejo]

For the most part she will probably be in the regular religious education classes for children. She’ll need some additional instruction about the sacraments she’s going to receive.

And it’s very important for you to realize that just because she won’t need to prepare for Confirmation when she gets older, she should still remain in religious education classes and learn about and grow in her faith.

Again, why would she need extra classes? She has been in Catholic school for 3.5 years and has religion class every single day. She has received all the instruction about the Sacraments that every other kid has. The only difference is they were Baptized before by age 7. I doubt they understand Baptism any more they do.

 

[Vico]

allejo,

The Catechumens (unbaptized) or uncatechized Candidates (baptized) generally experience one full year of formation and instruction in order to make an informed decision.

 

[catharina]

allejo,

The Catechumens (unbaptized) or uncatechized Candidates (baptized) generally experience one full year of formation and instruction in order to make an informed decision.

In a Catholic marriage, parents are informed (before the marriage) that they are obligated to raise their children Catholic. They are not obligated to send them to Catholic schools - but they are obligated to raise them Catholic; that begis with the Baptism of their children. How did you manage not to learn that before you married?

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Again, why would she need extra classes? She has been in Catholic school for 3.5 years and has religion class every single day. She has received all the instruction about the Sacraments that every other kid has. The only difference is they were Baptized before by age 7. I doubt they understand Baptism any more they do.

And as I said, for the most part the classes she’s already taking are what she needs. However, since she will also be preparing for baptism and confirmation, she’ll need to learn what those sacraments entail.

You will need to work with her teacher and the RCIA director so that the adults in her life are all on the same page with this.