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Legend
Guest
Well, It’s Friday. Hope that you’re OK.
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basketballguy
Member
Only thing I can say is reiterate what almost everyone here has been saying: Get. Out. Now. Also, don’t allow him to tear you away from your faith.
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alphawoman
Guest
OP, how are you? We’d love an update to know you’re alright!
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Lisagirl
Guest
Hi Everyone thank you for your prayers! I was able to get out on Saturday. I block him. I just feel very raw and very very sad. I have so many emotions and I feel like a roller coaster. I called in sick at work because I just feel I need a mental day. I am going to confession today and talk to the priest, and I also made an appt for therapy. I just feel sad because the relationship failed. It had a big potential, but because of his anger problems and controlling behavior there is no way it was healthy. He was a man ready to settle down, good job, owns his home, cooks, very clean, and responsible with finances, ect. Thinking of dating again feels like a nightmare. I have no energy to do anything or interest to things I normally enjoy.
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Irishmom2
Guest
Unfortunately, his bad qualities outnumber his good ones. There are other guys out there with his good qualities to be sure. You need to take a deep breath and heal. It sounds like you are doing the right things. One more thing though, don’t look back. Don’t question your decision. Don’t second guess yourself. Take as many deep breaths as you need. Travel home to your family and be around people that love you and truly want the best for you.
You are off to a fresh, new start. Keep looking and moving forward.
You are off to a fresh, new start. Keep looking and moving forward.
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angel12
Guest
It’s natural to feel sad when a phase of your life ends, even if the ending is a good thing. I’m so glad you’re seeing a priest and a therapist. The important thing now is to stay strong, and stick to your decision. The rest will fall into place.
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alphawoman
Guest
So glad you were able to end the relationship safely. I think you’re wise to speak with a priest and therapist for perspective and support. Somewhere, there is a man who will have the positive qualities you appreciate, but who doesn’t control or demean you. Leaving this relationship was the first step to getting the one you want.
Congratulations! What you did took a LOT of courage and self respect!
Congratulations! What you did took a LOT of courage and self respect!
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buildamystery
Guest
I advise you to get out of this relationship now! Run as fast as you can. This sounds like my husband of 35 years. I am sadder and lonelier then I have ever been in my life.yes he was a good provider to the family but that is where it ended. He refused to take the kids to church but constantly preached and lauded the benefits. All talk and no action. Constantly blamed me for any bad behaviour from the kids. Demanded respect with out earning it. Gas lighting would describe his actions towards me and his children perfectly. My grown adult children are begging me to leave and get on with my life.
Your boyfriend is toxic and if you think you can change him your sadly mistaken.
I was not a Catholic when we were married but became one in the hopes and lots of prayers that by becoming one I could be the change that would lead him back. He is a narcissist and unfortunately all the prayers and actions by me won’t change that. His sister described him perfectly.
He is like the omnipotent child. I have tried everything I can think of to help him…begged him to go to counselling, to church, etc. But you see, in his eyes it was all my fault …he had none. It has taken me years of counselling to find my own self worth again after years of this abuse. Please for your own sake and spirtual well being don’t continue in this toxic relationship.
The only good thing my relationship has gotten me is four beautiful, loving children…and for that I am ever grateful.
Your boyfriend is toxic and if you think you can change him your sadly mistaken.
I was not a Catholic when we were married but became one in the hopes and lots of prayers that by becoming one I could be the change that would lead him back. He is a narcissist and unfortunately all the prayers and actions by me won’t change that. His sister described him perfectly.
He is like the omnipotent child. I have tried everything I can think of to help him…begged him to go to counselling, to church, etc. But you see, in his eyes it was all my fault …he had none. It has taken me years of counselling to find my own self worth again after years of this abuse. Please for your own sake and spirtual well being don’t continue in this toxic relationship.
The only good thing my relationship has gotten me is four beautiful, loving children…and for that I am ever grateful.
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crenfro
Guest
Hello. This is my opinion only…
Please, do what you have to to leave. What may help is daily Mass, weekly confession, a good therapist, moving to another far enough geographical location, going to Al-Anon (helps deal with emotional addiction)…
You may also want to visit an abused women’s center/shelter for support & ideas on how to extricate yourself from this relationship.
I have been in abusive relationships in the past and thank my lucky stars that I didn’t marry any of those guys.
Please feel free to private message if you like.
You are in my prayers.
Please, do what you have to to leave. What may help is daily Mass, weekly confession, a good therapist, moving to another far enough geographical location, going to Al-Anon (helps deal with emotional addiction)…
You may also want to visit an abused women’s center/shelter for support & ideas on how to extricate yourself from this relationship.
I have been in abusive relationships in the past and thank my lucky stars that I didn’t marry any of those guys.
Please feel free to private message if you like.
You are in my prayers.
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buildamystery
Guest
Are you talking to me or the OP?
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Rozellelily
Guest
@Lisagirl,
Sorry about your situation.
While I haven’t myself been in a toxic relationship situation,hopefully it is still ok to offer my opinion because maybe this is good thing because my opinion will be unbiased,emotionally level,and without projecting.
Sometimes when a person is “further away” from a situation it can give a clearer perspective.
It seems to me that your boyfriend is needy and has insecurity issues and you likely have some issues of your own so to continue a relationship this way is a bit like oil and water.
I’m not saying you have your own issues in a derogatory way,but rather because it is unhealthy to be that attached to the concept of having a relationship that a person will stay in one at any expense.
It seems to me that “broken” people in toxic/dysfunctional relationships often seemed almost drawn to one another.
Leaving a relationship is not your own personal failure and sometimes it may in fact be the wise decision,whether temporarily or permanently.
Sometimes women are taught that their personal worth and success is based off them having a successful relationship,marriage and children but this is a flaw with society and a relationship should be a want,not a need.
There’s many women in their 30s or higher who are single and fine/content with it so if it was me,I would examine what it is that makes me feel that I would not be ok being single and then I would address that before attempting to go into another relationship.
Hopefully then you might attract a more healthy relationship.
Likewise your boyfriend should work on his insecurities first,otherwise he will just keep attracting the same outcomes-if not with you then with another girl.
Sorry about your situation.
While I haven’t myself been in a toxic relationship situation,hopefully it is still ok to offer my opinion because maybe this is good thing because my opinion will be unbiased,emotionally level,and without projecting.
Sometimes when a person is “further away” from a situation it can give a clearer perspective.
It seems to me that your boyfriend is needy and has insecurity issues and you likely have some issues of your own so to continue a relationship this way is a bit like oil and water.
I’m not saying you have your own issues in a derogatory way,but rather because it is unhealthy to be that attached to the concept of having a relationship that a person will stay in one at any expense.
It seems to me that “broken” people in toxic/dysfunctional relationships often seemed almost drawn to one another.
Leaving a relationship is not your own personal failure and sometimes it may in fact be the wise decision,whether temporarily or permanently.
Sometimes women are taught that their personal worth and success is based off them having a successful relationship,marriage and children but this is a flaw with society and a relationship should be a want,not a need.
There’s many women in their 30s or higher who are single and fine/content with it so if it was me,I would examine what it is that makes me feel that I would not be ok being single and then I would address that before attempting to go into another relationship.
Hopefully then you might attract a more healthy relationship.
Likewise your boyfriend should work on his insecurities first,otherwise he will just keep attracting the same outcomes-if not with you then with another girl.
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