Getting out of the Friend-zone w/o sinning

[fin]

Engineer4God,

I’m female and I’ll share. I’m on CM for I think 2 years now, and still am.

I can count the number of times that I have received messages, which is very, very few.

I receive profile views, but I don’t think it’s a lot.

In fact, the one time I received a real message (not just hi), the guy mistakenly thought I was from a certain area. When he found out it wasn’t the place he was thinking of, our conversation ended.

I don’t know, really. There was this guy I messaged reg. something interesting in his profile. He replied almost immediately, and with a related question. I responded, asking something as well, this time with no response. All the while, he didn’t even check my profile, to learn more about me.

How can you learn more about a person if you don’t click on their profile?

In my profile, I also talk about myself, but it’s not too long, but not bare bones as well. I talk about being a committed Catholic and looking for something similar, etc.

I upload several photos, etc.

I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with CM, or the members there. If you visit the forums, you will read of members who look okay, and I visited their profiles; they’re okay too. But they also wonder of not receiving messages, or people not responding to their messages.

A few months ago, I signed up on a secular dating site that’s relatively new, and within days I have received several adds and messages.

What are people on CM looking for anyway? I ask this question for both men and women. I view lots of profiles, and send messages for those I find interesting, even for those that I don’t find attractive. But there doesn’t seem to be any change in results.

Unfortunately, I’ve tried everything you said with no success. I was on CM for 3 years and I sent messages to several women most of whom never responded. But I did get initial messages from some women only to find out I wasn’t attracted to her. I’ve gotten phone numbers but none of the girls were willing to meet in person (or used the excuse of being to busy). I totally want off the internet but I can’t help it if she doesn’t. I’m sick of internet dating. I think I need to meet someone offline because online just isn’t working. I’ve met tons of women that I had tons on common with online but none of them responded. I do everything right but nothing happens. I have great profile pictures, I list all my interesting hobbies and talk about my Catholic faith. When I contact a woman for the first time, I show my excitement to get to know her by talking about our common interests and shared goals and values. What am I supposed to do? Just say “Hi” and leave it at that? Should I shorten my profile so it’s the bare bones about me? That would be boring. Perhaps boring is more attractive than overloaded with detail, lol. It makes absolutely no sense. And then creepy old women send me winks. Do you have any ideas of what I’m doing wrong or am I just incredibly unfortunate? :banghead:

 

[THP]

With 6 kids, do you still get out to the dance floor? Lol.

Absolutely! Why wouldn’t we? Of course the kids are often joining us or someone is watching them.

 

[starshiptrooper]

Totally agree with this. I was going to say something similar.

The first time I met my wife I planted a kiss on her right in the middle of the dance floor which was totally out of character for me. Over the next few weeks and months the romantic and sexual tension was insane. 17 years and 6 kids later still going strong. Don’t think she feels the tension as much as I do still (she is inundated with toddler and baby stuff) but I won’t hesitate to grab her and plant a kiss on her on the dance floor even now. I don’t care who is around.

All this proves is that men perceived as high value and attractive have no problem getting what they want. This point was recently demonstrated quite dramatically courtesy of Donald Trump.

 

[Xantippe]

All this proves is that men perceived as high value and attractive have no problem getting what they want. This point was recently demonstrated quite dramatically courtesy of Donald Trump.

Isn’t that a bit circular? Men who are perceived as high value and attractive have no problem getting what they want. How can you tell a guy is high value and attractive–because he has no trouble getting what he wants!

This is the same deal as with the term “alpha.” Men are supposedly successful with women because they are alphas, but then it turns out that the definition of alpha is “man who is successful with women.”

 

[DarkLight]

All this proves is that men perceived as high value and attractive have no problem getting what they want. This point was recently demonstrated quite dramatically courtesy of Donald Trump.

I might point out that Donald Trump has been repeatedly accused of sexual assault. Unless “getting what you want” includes “forcing yourself on unwilling women”, that’s not really saying much.

 

[starshiptrooper]

Isn’t that a bit circular? Men who are perceived as high value and attractive have no problem getting what they want. How can you tell a guy is high value and attractive–because he has no trouble getting what he wants!

Those are the end results of a man being high value and attractive.

This is the same deal as with the term “alpha.” Men are supposedly successful with women because they are alphas, but then it turns out that the definition of alpha is “man who is successful with women.”

Perhaps this might be helpful. reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2zckqu/updated_glossary_of_terms_and_acronyms/

Here is an example of a perfect alpha mindset.

youtube.com./watch?v=RWvc29QaqEE

Is Corey a scumbag? Yes of course, but he would never be considered a beta. Being a scumbag does not detract from his mindset.

I might point out that Donald Trump has been repeatedly accused of sexual assault. Unless “getting what you want” includes “forcing yourself on unwilling women”, that’s not really saying much.

Yeah, the God Emperor and the best chance at making American men great again is being slandered by a bunch of Feminists being paid off by a candidate whose corruption puts Nixon to shame. You will of course understand if I do not lend too much credence to a pack of lies.

 

[DarkLight]

Yeah, the God Emperor and the best chance at making American men great again is being slandered by a bunch of Feminists being paid off by a candidate whose corruption puts Nixon to shame. You will of course understand if I do not lend too much credence to a pack of lies.

Actually, a lot of the accusations pre-date his candidacy. So you can’t put them all on him being slandered because people don’t want him to win. Unless of course you think most sexual assault reports are women lying to get back at a man. Which I can tell you in my experience isn’t how things work - when I reported sexual assault at a college the only thing I ever got was brushed off at best, and treated like a slut at worst. I even got told that it was my fault because I didn’t “put out” and it wasn’t fair to expect a man to be around a woman and not have sex. There’s really very little benefit in it.

Besides, let’s be honest here. Donald Trump has admitted that he thinks he can grab a woman whether she wants him to or not.

 

[Xantippe]

Actually, a lot of the accusations pre-date his candidacy. So you can’t put them all on him being slandered because people don’t want him to win. Unless of course you think most sexual assault reports are women lying to get back at a man. Which I can tell you in my experience isn’t how things work - when I reported sexual assault at a college the only thing I ever got was brushed off at best, and treated like a slut at worst. I even got told that it was my fault because I didn’t “put out” and it wasn’t fair to expect a man to be around a woman and not have sex. There’s really very little benefit in it.

Besides, let’s be honest here. Donald Trump has admitted that he thinks he can grab a woman whether she wants him to or not.

Right. Plus, he’s on tape talking about how he was able to just walk into beauty pageant dressing rooms and gawk at the contestants while they were half dressed because it was his pageant.

Somehow, nobody ever accused Mitt Romney of this kind of stuff, just like nobody has accused Obama of Anthony Weiner type activity.

When multiple say the same thing about one person (for example Bill Clinton), the odds are it’s true.

 

[starshiptrooper]

Actually, a lot of the accusations pre-date his candidacy. So you can’t put them all on him being slandered because people don’t want him to win. Unless of course you think most sexual assault reports are women lying to get back at a man.

Right, because an alleged crime that will merit an investigation and a lot of media attention with no evidence besides the accuser’s testimony is not the perfect vehicle for vengeance.

Besides, let’s be honest here. Donald Trump has admitted that he thinks he can grab a woman whether she wants him to or not.

No, Donald Trump just pointed out an uncomfortable truth that women will let an alpha do stuff that would get a beta slapped with a rape charge.

Right. Plus, he’s on tape talking about how he was able to just walk into beauty pageant dressing rooms and gawk at the contestants while they were half dressed because it was his pageant.

Somehow, nobody ever accused Mitt Romney of this kind of stuff, just like nobody has accused Obama of Anthony Weiner type activity.

They had no need to. Mitt Romney was a nice guy and a beta. There was no need to stop him with trumped up charges since his own personality was sufficient. Obama has the media covering for him.

When multiple say the same thing about one person (for example Bill Clinton), the odds are it’s true.

Or it is a hatchet job by the media which is a defacto branch of the Clinton campaign at this point.

 

[Xantippe]

Right, because an alleged crime that will merit an investigation and a lot of media attention with no evidence besides the accuser’s testimony is not the perfect vehicle for vengeance.No, Donald Trump just pointed out an uncomfortable truth that women will let an alpha do stuff that would get a beta slapped with a rape charge.They had no need to. Mitt Romney was a nice guy and a beta. There was no need to stop him with trumped up charges since his own personality was sufficient. Obama has the media covering for him.Or it is a hatchet job by the media which is a defacto branch of the Clinton campaign at this point.

Perps usually get away with handsy-rapey stuff, because it’s embarrassing and pointless to make a fuss or press charges. The fact that women do not make a fuss does not mean that they are enjoying it–it may just be that they are frightened of retaliation or don’t see any upside to protesting.

That’s why you usually need a critical mass of accusations (as one sees with Trump or Clinton or Cosby) to bring a guy down, or at least make a dent in his reputation.

 

[Xantippe]

Trump has been promising to sue all of his female accusers after the election.

It will be very interesting to see if he follows through on that. I don’t think he will.

 

[SGTTOM]

You could simply tell her exactly how you feel. If she rejects you move on.

Just try getting out to any kind of social events you can or groups. Maybe stuff at different parishes. Opportunities usually arise.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

Unfortunately, I’ve tried everything you said with no success. I was on CM for 3 years and I sent messages to several women most of whom never responded. But I did get initial messages from some women only to find out I wasn’t attracted to her. I’ve gotten phone numbers but none of the girls were willing to meet in person (or used the excuse of being to busy). I totally want off the internet but I can’t help it if she doesn’t. I’m sick of internet dating. I think I need to meet someone offline because online just isn’t working. I’ve met tons of women that I had tons on common with online but none of them responded. I do everything right but nothing happens. I have great profile pictures, I list all my interesting hobbies and talk about my Catholic faith. When I contact a woman for the first time, I show my excitement to get to know her by talking about our common interests and shared goals and values. What am I supposed to do? Just say “Hi” and leave it at that? Should I shorten my profile so it’s the bare bones about me? That would be boring. Perhaps boring is more attractive than overloaded with detail, lol. It makes absolutely no sense. And then creepy old women send me winks. Do you have any ideas of what I’m doing wrong or am I just incredibly unfortunate? :banghead:

How many women is “several”? Over a 3 year period, that does not sound like many. You know how many women I probably messaged in a 3 year period? Over 1000, no exaggeration. Do you live in a city? Rural area? How far are you willing to travel?
All that stuff matters. Are you only searching for women within a very close distance to you? Are you only messaging Model looking women that probably 100 other guys have messaged first? I would need a lot of info before I can p(name removed by moderator)oint what exactly you are doing wrong, if anything.

 

[starshiptrooper]

Perps usually get away with handsy-rapey stuff, because it’s embarrassing and pointless to make a fuss or press charges. The fact that women do not make a fuss does not mean that they are enjoying it–it may just be that they are frightened of retaliation or don’t see any upside to protesting.

As a natural Red Pilled guy I knew once said, “It is not sexual harassment if you are attractive.”

Trump has been promising to sue all of his female accusers after the election.

It will be very interesting to see if he follows through on that. I don’t think he will.

He ought to sue them for slander, even if a win is unlikely, he can at least bankrupt them.

 

[Xantippe]

As a natural Red Pilled guy I knew once said, "It is not sexual harassment if you are attractive."He ought to sue them for slander, even if a win is unlikely, he can at least bankrupt them.

These pick up artists (even the “successful” ones) report very low success rates, don’t they? The way things work is that they have enormous raw numbers–it’s not that their percentages are that good. As I saw somebody pointing out, just carrying around an empty guitar case yields much better results than doing PUA stuff.

It’s very unlikely Trump will be able to bankrupt these women–people will pony up for a legal fund. And rightly so–it shouldn’t be possible for rich, powerful people to get away indefinitely with committing assault.

Also, I strongly suspect (based on the tapes) that there are going to be a lot more women coming out of the woodwork, so he would almost certainly lose. The US, thanks be to God, has very strong free speech law compared to a lot of other countries.

 

[Xantippe]

Also, come to think of it, even a lot of self-reported PUA “success” seems to be the result of bullying and flat-out rape. A lot of the PUA magic formula seems to be–follow drunk girls home, ask to use their bathroom, and then don’t stop when they say no. I’m not joking about the bathroom–there’s an actual Roosh V forum thread where guys are bragging about talking their way into women’s homes by saying they need the bathroom bad.

!!!

I’m not going to link to it (because it’s just too disturbing for CAF), but there’s a Daily Beast article entitled “Pickup Artists on Trial for Rape Ring” talking at great length about a pick up “school” that was essentially running a rape factory. The police did not follow up on a rape report by a couple of women (one who was raped while blacked out, the other who was being distracted elsewhere in the apartment and then discovered the assault in progress), but then one of the women started doing research and discovered the school and that they’d been sharing their exploits with their fan club online (with a lot of embellishment and omissions, of course).

The property manager for the apartment was eventually able to provide the police with her surveillance footage, which showed woman after woman entering looking happy and leaving upset.

““They would come in with women who were happy and relaxed, and the women would come out—woman after woman—would looked stunned and upset with the same tense body language,” Linda told me.”

““One lady went in with two friends and came out covering her face, crying. When they got down to the lobby and the elevator door opened, I could see she was balled up on the elevator floor. It was heartbreaking. I just wanted to scream.””

So, I wouldn’t trust a pickup guy’s account of his own exploits. Their primary “secret” is just preying on drunk women. “Attraction” has very, very little to do with it.

““I know that sounds sort of rapey,” Mulvehill [a pickup guru] told me at the time [of pickup tactics]. But, he said, “it’s not about convincing girls to do something they don’t want to do.””

There you go.

Unlike what you think, the police really weren’t interested in the San Diego pickup school people until the women themselves did all of the police work themselves and figured out what was going on.

 

[starshiptrooper]

These pick up artists (even the “successful” ones) report very low success rates, don’t they? The way things work is that they have enormous raw numbers–it’s not that their percentages are that good. As I saw somebody pointing out, just carrying around an empty guitar case yields much better results than doing PUA stuff.

Okay, 2 things need to be pointed out.

1. As a very successful man said, “I have not failed, I have found 10000 ways that did not work.” Nobody sends out just one job application. Even if these guys are failing, they are still getting more women than the average guy.
2. While the PUA’s were instrumental in helping lay the groundwork for the Red Pill, they are not Red Pilled. Too many of them rely on gimmicks and scripts. They still try to obtain validation from women.

t’s very unlikely Trump will be able to bankrupt these women–people will pony up for a legal fund. And rightly so–it shouldn’t be possible for rich, powerful people to get away indefinitely with committing assault.

At the very least, it will cost them time and money. This gynocentric society has no consequences for false rape accusations. Mattress Girl is still free. It is time to change the status quo.

lso, I strongly suspect (based on the tapes) that there are going to be a lot more women coming out of the woodwork, so he would almost certainly lose. The US, thanks be to God, has very strong free speech law compared to a lot of other countries.

Clinton and Trump are nearly neck and neck and if Clinton loses, Trump promised us he would make sure she goes to prison. If she could dig up some more liars, now would be the time to do it.

 

[DarkLight]

Right, because an alleged crime that will merit an investigation and a lot of media attention with no evidence besides the accuser’s testimony is not the perfect vehicle for vengeance.No, Donald Trump just pointed out an uncomfortable truth that women will let an alpha do stuff that would get a beta slapped with a rape charge.

Or it’s that more powerful guys tend to have more pull, and the more powerful a guy the more likely the woman knows that she’s going to be dragged through the mud and painted as a slut out for revenge or money, and quite possibly lose opportunities due to her daring to accuse a powerful man. There’s a lot more pressure a more powerful man can bring on a woman to keep her mouth shut.

 

[starshiptrooper]

First, rape shield laws prevent people from raising even reasonable criticism of the accuser’s history. Second the mainstream media is working overtime on behalf of the Clinton campaign. So Trump is not nearly as powerful as you would like to believe.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

First, rape shield laws prevent people from raising even reasonable criticism of the accuser’s history. Second the mainstream media is working overtime on behalf of the Clinton campaign. So Trump is not nearly as powerful as you would like to believe.

Myth. If there is a question about whether or not sex was consensual, not whether or not it occurred, and the issue is roughness, the defendant can bring up her sexual history. It’s limited in scope, but he can try to show that she was known for liking violent sex, he had knowledge of this before the encounter, and that a reasonable misunderstanding occurred.

But no, you can’t bring up that a woman is or was promiscuous because it has no impact on whether or not this particular encounter was rape. I know it’s hard to accept that even easy women have standards that a lot of men don’t meet, but they do. Promiscuity doesn’t mitigate rape.