Getting over negative view of God

[Edwyn]

We are imperfect people who live in an imperfect world. If we cannot sometimes see God’s goodness in all of around us, it is because our eyes, minds and hearts are not perfect. If despite of all the best arguments for the goodness and mercy of God we still are not convinced, it is because of the cruelty of this imperfect world that is shoved to our face. If we cannot seem to stop sinning, it is because our hearts and wills are fragile, weak: imperfect.

And yet, despite being imperfect creatures, even after asking God for forgiveness, why do we beat ourselves up for our failures?

Maybe it is because in spite of our imperfections, we have this urge, this need, this compulsion to climb the giant mountain before us that has many names: duty, responsibility, virtue, perfection, love. We have bills to pay, loved ones to love, work to do, trials to overcome, goals to achieve, clouds to line with silver, a God to worship. And everytime we fail to do these, we fall down this great mountain, and it hurts.

Why bother even to climb this mountain if everytime we try we fall and hurt ourselves? Why even try for perfection when we can never be perfect?

Well, have you ever wondered why you have this compulsion for greatness? It was placed in us by God Himself: “You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). And if He placed this great treasure in these clay pots of us (2 Cor 4:7), and if He is truly Love (1 John 4:8), wouldn’t He help us get over this mountain? Indeed, if God is absolutely just, if He is absolutely fair (Psalm 25:8), by giving us imperfect creatures these urges to perfection is He not under obligation to help us?

Do you not see that our own imperfections and our own responsibilities are the very reasons for our confidence in God?

Self-compassion, Responsibility, Confidence: this is the source (SRC) of my strength in everything I do.

It is confidence and nothing but confidence that must lead us to Love.
St. Therese of Lisieux, Letter 197

We have been trained in the habit of looking at our dark side, our ugliness, and not at the purifying Sun, Light of Light, which He is, who changes the dust that we are into pure gold. We think about examining ourselves, yet we do not think, before the examination, during the examination, and after the examination, to plunge ourselves, with all our miseries, into the consuming and transforming furnace of His Heart, which is open to us through a single humble act of confidence.

I am not telling you, “You believe too much in your own wretchedness.” We are much more wretched than we ever realize. But I am telling you, “You do not believe enough in merciful love.”

We must have confidence, not in spite of our miseries, but because of them, since it is misery which attracts mercy.

Oh, this word, mercy, misericordia [Latin for mercy], “miseris cor dare,” a heart which gives itself to the miserable, a Heart which nourishes itself on miseries by consuming them. Meditate on this word.
Humble Confidence