As I mentioned in my original post, I made some personal sacrifices. No one likes getting snubbed after giving something a lot of effort. One of the effects was that it cost me a promotion at work due to liberal managers who found out what I was working on and disagreed with that cause.
There are a few issues here.
First off, a lot of managers would have trouble with employees working on an outside project while on the clock when no one in management has approved the project. Companies legitimately feel it is their right to have (name removed by moderator)ut about what charitable work they are willing to pay employees to do as part of the charitable work
of the business. Maybe your company only approves charitable work that complies with certain politics, but that is something to take up with those in a position to approve or disapprove charitable work on the job. There is no right for every political view to be approved equally.
Second, if you decided to put in work on a church or other Christian charitable project while you were on the clock, that isn’t the fault or responsibility of the project’s leader. It wouldn’t have been her place to ask you to work on the church’s project while someone else is paying you, and it isn’t on her head if you decided it was OK to do that. That decision was yours. Don’t make it out to be something that makes her beholden to you.
Third, while it is natural to want recognition by the leader of a project after the project is done, one would still hope you did the work and made the sacrifices for
the sake of the project, and not for the sake of forging a friendship based on a sense of gratitude from a woman you cannot date or marry. If she treats everyone this way, then yes, by human nature she’s going to find it harder and harder to get help for her projects. If she only keeps distance from men with whom she does not think a close friendship is seemly, though, that is actually a good thing. Many marriages have suffered from people outside the marriage who were not so careful to avoid stirring up feelings with no legitimate outlet.
None of our brothers and sisters in Christ ought to snub us. Under normal circumstances, if they know us, they ought to act like it, and if they don’t know us, then they ought to be willing to get to know us better. Having said that, there should not be any “in” cliques of people who have worked on projects together for the parish who expect greater closeness to each other than to everyone else. If anything, it is wise for those who work together to bend over backwards to not give the impression that the married people in the parish are cultivating special friendships with anyone except their spouse.
Now, mind you, I don’t think you’re trying to cultivate anything inappropriate with this young woman. Having said that, she may be wise to cut off any effort she senses on your part to cultivate a closeness that is closer than what is prudent or seemly. You should respect her sense of the situation, and give her room. Greet her when she greets you, but otherwise,
leave her alone.
. The reason that I read this thread at all is that I was recently given the cold shoulder treatment too and by someone whom I looked up to as a wonderful Catholic leader. I’m left to guess why because I asked this person why and received no response. I have a little advice for the op. Move on and maybe re-read Easterjoy’s post.