Very true observation. As usually we shall have to agree to disagree. I am a bit sad that this is the best we can achieve. It might be interesting to pursue this subject, and try to find out how come that we see the same fact, and still have different conclusions.
Just a little story. I remember that I had some wonderful conversation with my mother. We loved her very much and she loved us very much. She said that bringing children into the world is a very selfish act. Parents, of course rationalize their act. But what they really want is the joy they derive from their children. They can be pretty sure that the life of the children will not be a “cakewalk”, that there will be ups and downs, that the children will suffer. Think of those parents who know that their child will suffer from Down-syndrome, and they will die prematurely, sometimes even in great pain. Even those parents say that it was worth it, because they derived so much joy from their children. Selfishness all the way. Sometimes it is very hard to look into one’s “soul” and admit this fact.
In your story above, you actually have the germ of the seed to build upon. Though I would say that the act of bringing children into the world is far less “selfish” than it is “Love”…and that even a pure Love can appear to have selfish aspects,
But - if selfishness gets the upper hand it becomes controlling, manipulative, abusive etc…Like the “parent/god” you portray in your earlier example - That is not love
Yet if Love predominates, it dwarfs any selfishness. The joy derived by the parent is derived solely from the happiness of another. In this sense what your mother termed “selfish” is merely the reflected glow of her selflessness.
How many of us know the sacrifices our parents made for us until well after the fact. We usually only find out after we are adults. Sometimes we never know the true sacrifices, the extent of sacrifice, they made for our benefit.
And for those of us who come from such loving homes - even though we may have fought our parents “tooth and nail” at times when we were growing up - we find ourselves more deeply in love and more deeply indebted to them - not because they demand it, for they demand no return on their investment. Rather it is because it wells up inside of us in pure gratitude for the gift of life they gave to us and all the gifts that followed…
You don’t Love your mother because she demands it. Yet you owe to her your very life. You don’t hate or reject her because she chastized you as you were growing up. In fact I would say that, if you are like most people, you Love her all the more because she chastized you in ways that you thought horrible at the time but now realize were really but small discomforts.
The great saints and doctors of the Church such as John of the Cross, Teresa of Avila Bernard of Clervoux and Catherine of Sienna teach of the stages in coming to sanctification. Mostly they speak of three stages though Teresa breaks it down into “the seven mansions”…
The stages are Purgative, Illuminative and the Unitive…Without getting into any great detail, one of the threads running through these stages is the gradual growth running from the purely selfish fear of punishment to the purely Loving and Unselfish desire to be with God and to please Him.
Children and parents often go through this same process…When we are small and immature, parents use various methods, including punishments, to teach us. While we know our parents “love us” we rightly fear them for (as we say in the act of contrition) their “just punishments”. As we grow older their methods of guidance change while we gradually come to understand why they did what they did and eventually we come to Love them completely and just as much because the punished as because they hugged…
Peace
James
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