Gifts for church staff?

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kmimi19

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Hello! I posted another question about my upcoming extremely intimate convalidation matrimony ceremony… It will be occurring on a Thursday during the day and will consist only of bride, groom, mother of bride, and father of bride. My husband and I are already civilly married for 5.5 years. Because it is such a small gathering, we will be asking for parish readers to assist with the readings during the mass. There will be no music/cantor. My question is- is it customary to give gifts to the parish readers who volunteer to read at our wedding or the church staff/deacon who provide premarital counseling and hours of meetings regarding arrangements? I read somewhere that because we are asking for parish readers, we should be prepared to gift them in some way, but now I cannot find where I read that! Happy to do so… Flowers? Gifts from Catholic Store? Charitable donation to Local Catholic Charity? Thanks so much for your (name removed by moderator)ut!
 
Have you thought about having your witnesses do the readings? At any rate, asking someone to attend a private mass just to do two readings and the psalm seems a little awkward. If you do ask someone, it would be a nice gesture, but not mandatory to give them a small token of thanks, like cash or a gift card to a local business tucked into a thank you card.

As for the priest/deacon who prepares you and priest who says the mass-- yes, it is customary to give an offering on the occasion of the sacrament and a stipend for the mass itself, and in some places some sort of offering for the marriage prep. What that is will vary locally.

In our diocese it is a suggested offering of $75 to the church (not the priest) for the marriage. It goes in the works of charity fund. It is also appropriate to give the priest a mass stipend for the mass of $10 (in our diocese that’s the suggested amount).

You can also give an additional “thank you” gift separately to the priest-- money, gift card, or something nice for the priest if you know him. What that is, is up to you-- could be $25, $100, $200. whatever you think appropriate.

For those that do marriage prep, ask your parish what is customary. I have seen $25 - $200, so really it’s up to you.

Nothing is required, but it would certainly be appreciated.
 
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I have considered that but they are assisting with other parts of the ceremony including the veil tradition and the presentation of the gifts. I have contacted the RCIA leaders who we got to know when my husband was converting to Catholicism. We did pay $290 to the church for the cost of the wedding, but I will certainly provide $25 gifts to the readers, priest, deacon, and any other altar staff to I appreciate your suggestions.
 
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