Girl Dilemma-age difference

[TraderTif]

I personally would be very creeped out if any man I was dating asked my father it he can date me, I think my father would be even more creeped out by it and wouldn’t know how to react. Of course I’m an old lady now, but it was the same back when I was a teen.

Well, I’m 28, and I would be touched if a guy did that. (At my age, I don’t think it’s a necessity, but it’s nice nonetheless.) Certainly, if I was a teenager, this is something I would be more likely to expect.

Although…my dad would probably be baffled and have no idea what to do, lol.

 

[flyingfish]

Well, I’m 28, and I would be touched if a guy did that. (At my age, I don’t think it’s a necessity, but it’s nice nonetheless.) Certainly, if I was a teenager, this is something I would be more likely to expect.

Although…my dad would probably be baffled and have no idea what to do, lol.

Why would you be touched? Why would it make you feel good to know that you’re dating someone who wants your dad’s permission to date you?

 

[Galandriel]

I think another couple had the same story similar to this.

 

[TraderTif]

Why would you be touched? Why would it make you feel good to know that you’re dating someone who wants your dad’s permission to date you?

I would feel touched that he was taking the whole “dating thing” seriously. I would be touched that he cared about my family, and wanted them to be involved in the process.

Why would it bother me??

 

[flyingfish]

I would feel touched that he was taking the whole “dating thing” seriously. I would be touched that he cared about my family, and wanted them to be involved in the process.

Why would it bother me??

But there are other ways to involve your family and take dating seriously.

If a man did that it would bother me because it would reveal something about his attitudes, that he thinks a man should have authority over his daughter’s dating life. It means that if our relationship ever progressed to marriage and we had daughters, he’d expect to have that kind of control over their lives. It’s just creepy on so many levels to me. I think if a guy asked my dad if he could date me, I’d tell him to go date my dad and say no.

 

[TraderTif]

But there are other ways to involve your family and take dating seriously.

If a man did that it would bother me because it would reveal something about his attitudes, that he thinks a man should have authority over his daughter’s dating life. It means that if our relationship ever progressed to marriage and we had daughters, he’d expect to have that kind of control over their lives. It’s just creepy on so many levels to me. I think if a guy asked my dad if he could date me, I’d tell him to go date my dad and say no.

Well, some of it is just a social custom. (I mean, for example, I can’t imagine my parents actually saying no, unless there was something obviously wrong with the guy.) And I would personally appreciate it if the guy asked both of my parents, not just my dad. (And my mom would have more of an opinion anyway, lol.)

Also, if my parents said no, then I would still expect the guy to ask me. My parents don’t own me. He isn’t, at my age, asking for their permission…it’s more like their approval. (Of course, if my parents didn’t approve, then I would take that seriously.)

To be honest, I have a hard time imagining a guy actually doing this sort of thing. But, believe me, I invite a guy over to meet my parents before we begin officially “dating”, because I value their opinion very highly.

 

[heathernoel]

When I was 16, I met my first love. 19 years later, we still speak, and hold a special affection for each other. Meeting him was one of the most fantastic experiences of my life (my first Catholic b/f ). I DO agree with asking her parents…first, it’s SO rare to find guys who understand a parent’s need to know the guy, and second, it shows great respect for her!

 

[LongingForLight]

My sister and her DH met when she was 16 and he was 19 (2.5 years difference). She was already in college full-time, so it really wasn’t that weird for them to date, though.

I can’t see why it woud hurt to ask the parents for permission, unless you think there is a chance that they would say “No”. If asking permission feels weird, ask them instead if they could explain their dating rules for their daughter, so you can be respectful of those rules. Also, if you ask what the rules are, you aren’t giving them as much of an opening to say “No” flat-out, if you think they might consider doing so.

 

[MtnDwellar]

When I was 19, I had an apartment, was working and attending college. I wouldn’t even consider dating a 16 year old girl. Are you going to take her to prom? Are you going to have her home by ten? I think that 16 is too young of a child for a 19 year old man to date. Find someone older.