Girlfriend advice and prayers needed

[St_Francis]

She has siblings and cousins coming over for the holidays, as her parents live in a different state. I guess I’ll be seeing those folks.

Last night we had several talks.

She didn’t realize making plans with my friends and inviting me as a afterthought was something that could be upsetting.

She forgot our Christmas plans for the 4th time, brought up the plans her roomate’s family has, and I had to tell her that she agreed to our plans about 4x, even though she claims she didn’t.

She also stopped saying “I love you.” - while some people have congratulated me on the fact she told me that, I am just about relieved that she has taken a break from saying this. She said it several times in person on two occasions - we weren’t in situations where I could discus what makes her say that after 2.5 months and a glass of wine or two.

I am terribly disorganized and have learned to do stuff to keep me somewhat less disorganized.

First, do not rearrange plans with people you’ve already made plans with in order to acocmodate others. If she has made plans with you, and her family suddenly wants to do something at that time, she should tell her family that she already has plans and can’t do that.

Second, she needs a calendar or something to write all this down on so she can see what’s happening. She may also need to make lists, so if she is planning a night out with friends, she has a list of people she wants to invite *and *she needs to cross of those she has invited *and *a note on her calendar to invite the rest. She should not go out alone with men friends … that’s just weird or a sign of obliviousness.

 

[pianistclare]

She has siblings and cousins coming over for the holidays, as her parents live in a different state. I guess I’ll be seeing those folks.

Last night we had several talks.

She didn’t realize making plans with my friends and inviting me as a afterthought was something that could be upsetting.

She forgot our Christmas plans for the 4th time, brought up the plans her roomate’s family has, and I had to tell her that she agreed to our plans about 4x, even though she claims she didn’t.

She also stopped saying “I love you.” - while some people have congratulated me on the fact she told me that, I am just about relieved that she has taken a break from saying this. She said it several times in person on two occasions - we weren’t in situations where I could discus what makes her say that after 2.5 months and a glass of wine or two.

So…are you making excuses for her now?
I’m confused.
Is this supposed to change anything?
Do you want to make these excuses for the rest of your life?
She’s probably a sweet girl. But she’s immature. Her age has little to do with it. She’s been hot housed, and she’s accustomed to only one way of doing things. I know people who are 50 and still are very immature. But I’m not married to them.
Think about it.
The helicopter story is something to think about.
Pray for your future spouse. God will hear your prayers. But I doubt if it’ this girl. I think people have pretty much given you permission to say goodbye.
We could be wrong, but the more you post, the more convincing you sound. Print out the thread.
Read it.

 

[Xantippe]

First, do not rearrange plans with people you’ve already made plans with in order to acocmodate others. If she has made plans with you, and her family suddenly wants to do something at that time, she should tell her family that she already has plans and can’t do that.

**Yes!

Ditching people you have a previous engagement with in favor of subsequent plans is tacky, tacky, tacky. It might not be a huge moral failing on her part, but it’s probably one or more of the following: 1) immaturity 2) lack of social and etiquette savvy 3) disorganization and 4) a lack of ability to stand up to her family and/or 5) a moral failing.

Of all the things the OP has mentioned, if he could get her to stop doing that, he’d really be doing her a favor for her future life, no matter what happens between them. There’s no reason for her to go through life needlessly offending people. **

Second, she needs a calendar or something to write all this down on so she can see what’s happening. She may also need to make lists, so if she is planning a night out with friends, she has a list of people she wants to invite *and *she needs to cross of those she has invited *and *a note on her calendar to invite the rest. She should not go out alone with men friends … that’s just weird or a sign of obliviousness.

 

[Xantippe]

So…are you making excuses for her now?
I’m confused.
Is this supposed to change anything?
Do you want to make these excuses for the rest of your life?
She’s probably a sweet girl. But she’s immature. Her age has little to do with it. She’s been hot housed, and she’s accustomed to only one way of doing things. I know people who are 50 and still are very immature. But I’m not married to them.
Think about it.
The helicopter story is something to think about.
Pray for your future spouse. God will hear your prayers. But I doubt if it’ this girl. I think people have pretty much given you permission to say goodbye.
We could be wrong, but the more you post, the more convincing you sound. Print out the thread.
Read it.

Yes.

I wonder if the OP, with his dogged determination to stick to long-term-relationships, isn’t girlfriending where he shouldn’t girlfriend. Don’t just keep dating people until they dump you–discern.

 

[JoyIsLikeRain]

Update:

This weekend we talked-out some things and thus had a great weekend. She admitted she needs to be more mindful in remembering our shared plans, and I admitted I need to speak more in general. It felt like it was when we first started to meet each other.

That balloon deflated come Monday.

She informed me that her visiting sister became angry at her because the sister felt slighted for not being directly invited to my family’s Christmas Eve dinner. Even though I only met the sister once the last time she was in town, I said she could come.

Then after this, I was told even MORE cousins were going to be flying in last-minute for NYE, bringing the total to 8 (not including us two). Our original plans (to go to a nice party at the condo of a friend) are now up in the air, as one cousin is only 19, and others are trying to spend little-to-no cash as possible. Some want to be just at my girlfriend’s home all night, but her roommates (who have boyfriends), want the gang out of the house for the evening.

I don’t know what to make of this. I’m not used to big families, and it’s not my place to give my opinion to her about them.

I am weary of the situation, but is it wrong of me to say something now? Should just take a wait-and-see approach and then have another deep conversation after the holidays?

 

[Xantippe]

Update:

This weekend we talked-out some things and thus had a great weekend. She admitted she needs to be more mindful in remembering our shared plans, and I admitted I need to speak more in general. It felt like it was when we first started to meet each other.

That balloon deflated come Monday.

She informed me that her visiting sister became angry at her because the sister felt slighted for not being directly invited to my family’s Christmas Eve dinner. Even though I only met the sister once the last time she was in town, I said she could come.

**Since when do visiting sisters of girlfriends automatically get invited to a boyfriend’s family’s Christmas Eve dinner?

Even just girlfriends don’t get automatic invitations to their boyfriends’ family Christmas celebration.

She sounds like she and her family have very poor boundaries and a minimal ability to deal with non-family members.
/B]

Then after this, I was told even MORE cousins were going to be flying in last-minute for NYE, bringing the total to 8 (not including us two). Our original plans (to go to a nice party at the condo of a friend) are now up in the air, as one cousin is only 19, and others are trying to spend little-to-no cash as possible. Some want to be just at my girlfriend’s home all night, but her roommates (who have boyfriends), want the gang out of the house for the evening.

I don’t know what to make of this. I’m not used to big families, and it’s not my place to give my opinion to her about them.

I am weary of the situation, but is it wrong of me to say something now? Should just take a wait-and-see approach and then have another deep conversation after the holidays?**

I think your girlfriend and her family sound like a big pain in the neck, and it’s worth waiting to find somebody who is 1) a nice girl (which this one is) but 2) is a grownup and 3) has reasonable boundaries with her family and 4) communicates and makes plans with you that she sticks to.

Do you actually like this woman, or do you like the imaginary version of her in your head?

I think your biggest problem is that it isn’t very nice to dump somebody over the holidays, so you might not be able to politely break up with her right now, but that’s a self-inflicted issue on your part.

Oh, and she also sounds like kind of a thoughtless, terrible roommate, which is a red flag for a prospective husband. Who inflicts 8 surprise guests on their roommates for New Years? Blech.

 

[Dulcie]

When I read your opening post I assumed that both you and your girlfriend were quite a bit younger than you actually are. I think that you both have a bit of maturing still to do. (This is not a crime, by the way - I am the same age as you, and I have loads more maturing to do myself!) Your girlfriend clearly has some work to do figuring out how to start balancing her commitment to her birth family while also making space for someone else in her life, someone who will eventually take first place. This can be quite hard to figure out in practice, especially if the birth family is large and very close. She clearly hasn’t got the hang of it yet. I would say to her that you would really like to spend some time just the two of you, and how important that is to you, that you would like that to take priority sometimes.

That being said, your posts about her are extremely critical, sometimes verging on patronising. I don’t think it is fair to stay with someone who you feel so critical about. Either accept her for who she is, or let her go and find someone else. It sounds like this relationship has probably run its course.

 

[allycat10]

Overall, it’s seems like this might or might not be a good match between you two, but it sounds to me like the major problem is that she is not yet very mature. Maybe stay friends and see what develops in a couple of years, after she’s had a chance to learn more about herself and developed more social maturity?

This. At this moment, she does not seem to be a good match for you. You don’t have much to talk about and after three months, if you were in love with her, I think you would know it at this point. I think if I were you, I would cut the relationship back down to the “friend zone”. Maybe staying friends will give her the space and time to experience life on her own.

I met my husband when I was 18 going on 19 my first semester at college. He was 26 going 27- much older than me. He had been in the Navy for four years prior and had seen the world. He was ready to settle down. He wanted to date me from the moment he saw me but I had no romantic interest in him. A mutual friend officially introduced us. I agree to go on one date and still, I left only wanting to be friends with him. Again, I was only 19 and had never had a boyfriend before. We did continue being friends and I returned to the college town for the summer to take some summer classes and we hung out a lot- just he and I. I wasn’t sure how I was feeling after that but he said he was falling in love with me. I probably was too, but didn’t realize it. So when the summer classes finished, he asked me if I wanted pursue a romantic relationship with him. I said no because I was not returning to that college and I was moving somewhere else all-together. There was no way I could have handled the serious relationship he was looking for. He was deeply hurt and we lost touch after that. I did move far away to another city. I worked full-time, went to school full-time and shared an apartment with the mutual friend that introduced us (she also moved to the same city). I was finally coming into my own. I dated several men and partied a lot. I learned a lot about what I wanted and what I didn’t want. Then about a year after we lost touch, he called and it was awkward. He was actually calling to talk to the mutual friend but she was not home. He needed some advice about someone he was dating. So we ended up talking that day on the phone. I GAVE him advice. As soon as we hung up, I was already in tears… Apparently, I had fallen in love, but since I had never experienced that before, I discounted my feelings for confusion. To make a long story short, that relationship ended a few months after that phone conversation and then we began dating. We married 2 years after and have been, happily for 15 years! I was just not ready for what he was when we met.

SO… anything is possible. This might be the girl for you, but it might be the wrong time. Or she might not be the right one for you. Based on what you have said, she needs to do some growing- personally and socially.

Best wishes for whatever you decide.

 

[JoyIsLikeRain]

I think your biggest problem is that it isn’t very nice to dump somebody over the holidays, so you might not be able to politely break up with her right now, but that’s a self-inflicted issue on your part.

Oh, and she also sounds like kind of a thoughtless, terrible roommate, which is a red flag for a prospective husband. Who inflicts 8 surprise guests on their roommates for New Years? Blech.

It is rather-self inflicted. Some guys can do a holiday break-up; I probably can’t.

Also, I didn’t mean to sound “patronizing” in my typing - I tend to be sarcastic and I also tend to include sarcastic undertones in my typing. That’s how I am, and I try to control that behvaior or at least keep it humorous. Perhaps my frustration came though in my words.

I don’t know how 8 guests will be accommodated in their flat, but that’s not my problem. It’s almost comical to me. And, good point on the “surprise guest” part. I can deal with 1 surprise guest, but not several at one time. That could be a repeated scenario in the future…

 

[Lorelei12]

She sounds really flaky. Personally, I couldn’t be with someone who was like this. You shouldn’t have to invite her sister to your family’s Christmas gathering, though it is nice of you to do so. The New Year’s Eve thing sounds like a mess.

If I were you, I would first be very clear in communicating to her that she has been disrespecting your time, and that it’s not okay with you that she makes plans and then changes them all the time. If you had plans to have Christmas Eve dinner with your family, it was inappropriate of her to involve her sister in any of it due to her poor planning abilities. You handled that graciously by inviting her.

As for New Years’, if her roommates do not want company that is her issue to take up with them. She should not have invited a bunch of people without clearing it first. If you had plans with friends, I would tell her that you will be attending the party, you hope that she comes like she planned, and that her cousins are welcome to join you both (if they in fact are). If she apologizes and tries to clear up the mess, and doesn’t ditch you for the cousins, okay. If she makes it clear to you that your time isn’t important to her, then you know where you stand.

 

[EnglishTeacher]

She informed me that her visiting sister became angry at her because the sister felt slighted for not being directly invited to my family’s Christmas Eve dinner. Even though I only met the sister once the last time she was in town, I said she could come.

That’s just plain bizarre.

Then after this, I was told even MORE cousins were going to be flying in last-minute for NYE, bringing the total to 8 (not including us two). Our original plans (to go to a nice party at the condo of a friend) are now up in the air, as one cousin is only 19, and others are trying to spend little-to-no cash as possible. Some want to be just at my girlfriend’s home all night, but her roommates (who have boyfriends), want the gang out of the house for the evening.

I don’t know what to make of this.** I’m not used to big families, and it’s not my place to give my opinion to her about them**.

The problem is not that she has a big family, but that her family is lacking in social graces, tact, and/or boundaries. I don’t know why it wouldn’t be your place to say something about it. In fact, something really should be said. The Christmas Eve situation with your girlfriend’s sister is really weird. It is very nervey of the sister to think that she ought to be invited, and it shows a lack of social awareness on your girlfriend’s part that she even thinks (apparently) that her sister had a valid complaint. It’s presumptuous and tacky to invite your relatives to your boyfriend’s family Christmas party.

As to the New Year’s Eve situation, couldn’t you remind her that the two of you just had a talk about this kind of thing only a few days ago?

I am weary of the situation, but is it wrong of me to say something now? Should just take a wait-and-see approach and then have another deep conversation after the holidays?

The holidays are always an awkward time to break up because you feel mean doing it right before Christmas. But then, there is never a good time. (After Christmas is New Year’s, and after New Year’s is Valentine’s Day, and so forth.) You will have to decide that for yourself. But I can’t imagine letting all of this go without saying something to her about it, soon.

 

[EnglishTeacher]

I think your girlfriend and her family sound like a big pain in the neck, and it’s worth waiting to find somebody who is 1) a nice girl (which this one is) but 2) is a grownup and 3) has reasonable boundaries with her family and 4) communicates and makes plans with you that she sticks to.
Do you actually like this woman, or do you like the imaginary version of her in your head?

I think your biggest problem is that it isn’t very nice to dump somebody over the holidays, so you might not be able to politely break up with her right now, but that’s a self-inflicted issue on your part.

Oh, and she also sounds like kind of a thoughtless, terrible roommate, which is a red flag for a prospective husband. Who inflicts 8 surprise guests on their roommates for New Years? Blech.

Exactly. This is it, right here, especially the bolded part.

 

[pianistclare]

Ditto to what Xantippe said.
Are you perhaps wishing this would work out because you’re older, your feel pressure to settle down, and she happens to be Catholic and cute?
Not good reasons to hang around. It *could *be OK, **if she were somewhat reasonable. **She sounds spoiled and like she’s also trying to railroad you into a bigger commitment.
I’d run. Make other plans for New Years…unless you intend to listen to her crying and her family there to tell you how rotten you are.
There’s other fish my friend, other fish.

 

[Xantippe]

Ditto to what Xantippe said.
Are you perhaps wishing this would work out because you’re older, your feel pressure to settle down, and she happens to be Catholic and cute?
Not good reasons to hang around. It *could *be OK, **if she were somewhat reasonable. **She sounds spoiled and like she’s also trying to railroad you into a bigger commitment.
I’d run. Make other plans for New Years…unless you intend to listen to her crying and her family there to tell you how rotten you are.
There’s other fish my friend, other fish.

In fact, pianistclare could give you some of the fishes’ email addresses, if she knew you better.

 

[PolarGuy]

Joyislikerain, I have been right where you are, so perhaps I can offer this perspective:

Your posts practically shout to me, “I have come to know in my heart that this woman is not the right one for me, but she’s very sweet, and very nice, and I don’t want to hurt her.”

From the first post you wrote, it looked to me like you knew in your heart she wasn’t the one. That came through more readily the more I read.

One poster used the word “flaky” to describe your girlfriend. I think that fits. Before I got that far on this thread, the word “flighty” came to my mind, particularly with her disorganization and the pointing out past exes to you. One can be a sweet, family-oriented, churchgoing woman…who is still flaky and flighty. I know – I seriously dated someone fitting that description to a “T,” years ago, right down to her dropping the “L-word” on me like you heard and her extended series of short relationships that she’d mention to me.

Perhaps it might occur to you – maybe your GF’s exes had the same experiences you did? i.e., after a short period of time they saw what she was like and they (not she) ended things? Just curious.

The young lady you are describing also seems way, way too connected to her extended family. Yes, we marry our spouse’s family. Yes, there will be periods in a marriage where, for example, a spouse needs to drop everything to, say, care for a sick parent – but generally there should be a sense that we come first with our spouse, and I’m not getting that vibe from anything you post. To the contrary, I get the feeling that, should this relationship continue, it will be unthinkable, in your girlfriend’s eyes, for you to do something other than accept her, and her extended family, and their wacky interrelationships, just as they are, without, as the Bible says, becoming one with one’s spouse. If you marry her, she’ll be yours, but they’ll be yours, too, such as they are.

There is no easy way to break up, but IMHO you seem to quietly know that’s where you want this to go and where you see this going. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, because she will inevitably be hurt more or less by the breakup, but if that’s really where you see it going, then you owe it to yourself; your future wife (whoever she is, she’s looking for you somewhere!), and this young lady, and her future husband (who’s looking for her!) to do that which needs to be done. Not ending a relationship can inevitably lead to bigger problems later.

Good luck and God speed you on your journey.

 

[pianistclare]

Joyislikerain, I have been right where you are, so perhaps I can offer this perspective:

Your posts practically shout to me, “I have come to know in my heart that this woman is not the right one for me, but she’s very sweet, and very nice, and I don’t want to hurt her.”

From the first post you wrote, it looked to me like you knew in your heart she wasn’t the one. That came through more readily the more I read.

One poster used the word “flaky” to describe your girlfriend. I think that fits. Before I got that far on this thread, the word “flighty” came to my mind, particularly with her disorganization and the pointing out past exes to you. One can be a sweet, family-oriented, churchgoing woman…who is still flaky and flighty. I know – I seriously dated someone fitting that description to a “T,” years ago, right down to her dropping the “L-word” on me like you heard and her extended series of short relationships that she’d mention to me.

Perhaps it might occur to you – maybe your GF’s exes had the same experiences you did? i.e., after a short period of time they saw what she was like and they (not she) ended things? Just curious.

The young lady you are describing also seems way, way too connected to her extended family. Yes, we marry our spouse’s family. Yes, there will be periods in a marriage where, for example, a spouse needs to drop everything to, say, care for a sick parent – but generally there should be a sense that we come first with our spouse, and I’m not getting that vibe from anything you post. To the contrary, I get the feeling that, should this relationship continue, it will be unthinkable, in your girlfriend’s eyes, for you to do something other than accept her, and her extended family, and their wacky interrelationships, just as they are, without, as the Bible says, becoming one with one’s spouse. If you marry her, she’ll be yours, but they’ll be yours, too, such as they are.

There is no easy way to break up, but IMHO you seem to quietly know that’s where you want this to go and where you see this going. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, because she will inevitably be hurt more or less by the breakup, but if that’s really where you see it going, then you owe it to yourself; your future wife (whoever she is, she’s looking for you somewhere!), and this young lady, and her future husband (who’s looking for her!) to do that which needs to be done. Not ending a relationship can inevitably lead to bigger problems later.

Good luck and God speed you on your journey.

well stated. :clapping:
Merry Christmas PolarGuy

 

[MJJean]

For large, close, and always together families zero privacy and infinite chaos is just part of their lives. A lot of people raised in this way have no idea that other people can be annoyed and inconvenienced.

Your GF probably doesn’t understand that inviting 1-8 extra people to a dinner is a problem. She’s probably used to a home where a holiday dinner means buying out the supermarket and cooking to feed an army so that there is a plate for every relative who happens to come over. She might not understand that most people have smaller homes and plan their menu and shopping based on a set number of guests.

She might not understand that the roomies want to spend romantic alone time with their SO’s on New Years Eve because she comes from a family where alone time and privacy aren’t a thing, so it never crossed her mind that having her family members invade the apartment would be an inconvenience to the roomies and possibly ruin their plans.

Being from a large and close family she is also probably very used to plans changing, being in a group almost all the time when on an outing, and people randomly coming along or deciding last minute to not come along. So, she doesn’t get why this would seriously annoy other people.

Being from a large family that is seemingly always together she probably had little experience dating on a…more personal level?..and therefore lacks the experience to know the difference between the types of love we feel for others. In big families you tend to develop a warm and open heart. You love a lot of people. It’s easy to mistake infatuation or just warm feelings for a person you are dating as something more. I told my DH I loved him within 3 months. He returned my feelings. We were only 24 when we met, but we’d both had previous serious relationships and had the experience to know what we were feeling.

Yes, she needs to be told by someone in very frank terms that she needs to set boundaries, stick to plans as they were made, and that allowing her family to invade other peoples homes and outings is inappropriate unless she asks the hosts and gains permission. And, yes, she needs to learn to say “NO!” without being impolite, but while being firm.

The problem is that she might not want to learn. She might be perfectly content with things the way they are. She might never truly “leave and cleave”. She might want a man who is willing to be absorbed into the chaos of her family.

Do you want to spend the rest of your life dealing with this? If the answer is no, do both of you a favor and end the relationship. Explain why. That will help her avoid making the same mistakes or at least know to look for a mate among men who also come from families like hers or who are willing to joyfully enter the fray.

And do it soon. Don’t wait for the holidays to be over. Her family will be visiting during the holidays, so they can be there to offer her comfort and support. Now seems to be as good a time as any.

 

[JoyIsLikeRain]

^ Very good replies above; I thank you.

As for an update, we got through the holidays.

The sister caused enormous drama on Christmas Eve. She didn’t come to the house afterall, and we compromised and did mass (us 3 only) at a church she wanted to go to. However, she got upset regardless and the two had a spat.

NYE came with the cousins, and things got better. The cousins were (down to 3 from originally 8) fun, outgoing, jovial, down-to-earth and respectful. The sister became pleasant and fun. The girlfriend and I talked and had fun and we felt like a happy couple again. Things were good.

Then came this Sunday. Her mother called her, asked why I hadn’t visited them (the parents), and asked if I proposed.
She wasn’t kidding around.

Girlfriend and I had a talk about that, and I said people get engaged when the time is right for THEM and we’d only been together for 3 whole months. Her response was that her parents married after 4 months of knowing each other, but she agreed with me.

The gravity of what the mother said sunk in several hours later that night.

I haven’t slept well since.

 

[pianistclare]

^ Very good replies above; I thank you.

As for an update, we got through the holidays.

The sister caused enormous drama on Christmas Eve. She didn’t come to the house afterall, and we compromised and did mass (us 3 only) at a church she wanted to go to. However, she got upset regardless and the two had a spat.

NYE came with the cousins, and things got better. The cousins were (down to 3 from originally 8) fun, outgoing, jovial, down-to-earth and respectful. The sister became pleasant and fun. The girlfriend and I talked and had fun and we felt like a happy couple again. Things were good.

Then came this Sunday. Her mother called her, asked why I hadn’t visited them (the parents), and asked if I proposed.
She wasn’t kidding around.

Girlfriend and I had a talk about that, and I said people get engaged when the time is right for THEM and we’d only been together for 3 whole months. Her response was that her parents married after 4 months of knowing each other, but she agreed with me.

The gravity of what the mother said sunk in several hours later that night.

I haven’t slept well since.

Oh brother.
I’d take a BIG permanent break from this if I were you…
If mom wants to tell you when you’ll marry…she’ll have no trouble at all telling you how to raise the kids, what job to accept or decline, and when and when to vacation.
Also, they don’t fall too far from the tree…you’ll be signing up for a life of “that’s the way we do it in OUR family”.
It won’t be YOUR family. It will you conforming to her family.
Red flags man, red flags.
Stop and notice the red flags.

 

[EnglishTeacher]

^ Very good replies above; I thank you.

As for an update, we got through the holidays.

The sister caused enormous drama on Christmas Eve. She didn’t come to the house afterall, and we compromised and did mass (us 3 only) at a church she wanted to go to. However, she got upset regardless and the two had a spat.

NYE came with the cousins, and things got better. The cousins were (down to 3 from originally 8) fun, outgoing, jovial, down-to-earth and respectful. The sister became pleasant and fun. The girlfriend and I talked and had fun and we felt like a happy couple again. Things were good.

Then came this Sunday. Her mother called her, asked why I hadn’t visited them (the parents), and asked if I proposed.
She wasn’t kidding around.

Girlfriend and I had a talk about that, and I said people get engaged when the time is right for THEM and we’d only been together for 3 whole months. Her response was that her parents married after 4 months of knowing each other, but she agreed with me.

The gravity of what the mother said sunk in several hours later that night.

I haven’t slept well since.

This is all very interesting. I guess you are beginning to get an idea of what it would be like to be married into this family.

on the question from the mother. Just curious, how did your girlfriend relay that conversation to you? Was she laughing about it? (I.e., “You’ll never believe what my mom just asked me?”) Or did it seem as though she brought it up to you to gauge your reaction and/or to see when you might be planning to propose?

Did she happen to say how she responded to her mom?