Girlfriend struggling with college

[Gabriel_oOLoS]

My girlfriend is currently in college and I have graduated. Every time time I talk to her she seems to be struggling with her schedule. I feel like she’s taken on too much. She has so many commitments that she having a hard time keeping up with school and her violin. She also a third order Carmelite and is struggling to keep her commitments to that as well. I am at a loss on how to help her. All i feel that I can do is pray for her, but there must be something else I can do to help her! Thanks for anything you can offer.

 

[YAA23]

Hows it going buddy, I am in the same position right now, I will pray for her.
All I can say, is right now stick it through and next semester take a lighter load, who cares if she doesnt graduate on time, as long as she get that degree that is all that matters, just tell her leave it to God and he will take care of it, I have to believe and trust God in taking care of my situation, because it is not worth the stress.

 

[ClearWater]

It could be she may have taken on too much. I guess you could ask and see if there’s any way to help.

A LOT of people are running themselves ragged these days! Once upon a time, the man of the household could hold down a job and pretty much support a good-sized family, at least in the US. Now, sometimes, even with two working, couples are struggling, especially with medical benefits! Some people work just for those, alone!

By the time many of these people come home, these people…working and going to school, parents…are all EXHAUSTED!!!

I have tried inviting people, time and again, and few even have time for even coffee! One friend of mine sometimes works 12-hour shifts in a lab…plus she is going to school! She took “vacation days” just to try to catch up on her homework! I think we enjoy getting together and that it’s NOT an excuse when she says she’s busy.

I feel sorry for people, and parents, in our time! My mother’s 88 y.o., and she said in her time, they worked hard, but that you simply didn’t have all this stress!

Hope all goes well, and maybe she can cut back next semester as was already suggested. Good luck, and what a sweet boyfriend and support you have been to her!

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blest is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

 

[dedo]

Learning to set priorities and to “pace yourself” are important skills. It sounds like you are helping your girlfriend with this by just making her aware of the issue.

When I was in school it was not uncommon to see people take more than the required number of hours (18 instead of 15) needed to graduate on time. Some people even had a double major etc.

Now some people pulled it off and some people did not. Their grades or personal lives suffered. When I got to graduate school, the work load increased massively and the people who “tried to do everything” had problems. It turned out that in graduate school that we really only needed to learn the most important ~30% of the material that was presented in class on the handouts. The rest could be safely ignored. However, they never told us this. People that looked for what was important, and focused on the important material did fine. People who tried do “do it all” and “learn it all” struggled.

In general, sometimes you have to make choices and decide where to focus your energy. Sometimes you need to “say no”.

Otherwise you will be competing with people who focus all of their efforts on one objective while you are divided in multiple pursuits. When I was in school I was fortunate that I did not have to work because my parent’s provided for me. In spite of this, I was cautious to only take the required 15 hours. However, the effort I put into what I did take was massive. I did not think the people who over loaded themselves, or got sucked into fraternities etc. could compete and most of them could not. By “not overloading”, I don’t mean not making time for God, as I tried to never miss Mass.

I saw one blog by a business coach that said that the most important ingredient for success is to follow “Curly’s law” that came out of some Western movie. “Curly’s law” is “just do one thing”.

I am trying to do better at this myself, so your post was a helpful reminder. So things like “arguing with atheists” etc. on other forums are things that I am consciously trying to avoid so I can bear fruit in other areas.

Thus, I think it is helpful to pray for your girlfriend and make her aware of the need to “not over load”. However, you should be cautious about choosing for her as this can wander into “controlling”.

Good luck