Girlfriends

[seanom]

Hey there,
I’m 16, I hope to become a priest someday. Here’s the problem. I see other young people dating and I feel really attracted to girls ( not in a sexual way ). I just can’t help it. I don’t know what to do. Do u think I shud suppress my feelings, or what shud I do. I probably will end up becoming a religious unless the Lord has a different path for me. I need ur help guys. Is it okay to date once it’s pure and holy??? God Bless!!confused:

 

[Elizium23]

If you don’t already have them, I recommend that you seek out a good confessor and a good spiritual director. A regular confession can help with your sins and feelings as you experience them in the course of being a teenager. We all need a good confessor to keep us on the straight and narrow path. Since you may have a vocation to the priesthood, a spiritual director is necessary to help you discern your vocation more precisely. Since you are also attracted to girls, of course this is normal, you may have a vocation to marriage instead. Indeed, you may ultimately have a vocation to the permanent diaconate, which you would explore and discern after you are married and you have a stable life for a few years. All this is good to talk with a spiritual director about. We random people on the Internet may give you bad advice, so take it with a grain of salt.

 

[Corki]

Hey there,
I’m 16, I hope to become a priest someday. Here’s the problem. I see other young people dating and I feel really attracted to girls ( not in a sexual way ). I just can’t help it. I don’t know what to do. Do u think I shud suppress my feelings, or what shud I do. I probably will end up becoming a religious unless the Lord has a different path for me. I need ur help guys. Is it okay to date once it’s pure and holy??? God Bless!!confused:

Most priests dated before entering seminary. The Church needs priests who know how to have healthy relationships with men** and **women - not those who keep women at arm’s length. Speak to the vocations director for your diocese.

 

[SaintPatrick333]

I would listen to the others advice first in finding a spiritual director about this issue. But if you still struggle and are uncertain than try dating a couple times. Meet a nice girl and take her out. You’ll most likely be able to tell if it is what you’re meant to do. You’ll feel unfulfilled in a relationship if God is calling you. The last three relationships I’ve attempted, I went in trying to give 100% (this was towards the beginning of my discernment after I tried getting in the right mindset for becoming a Priest). And the longer I was in a relationship, the more and more I felt that I was meant to be elsewhere. Now that’s not to say I wasn’t attracted to my girlfriend or didn’t like her, because I did. But God has his ways and by enacting His will in both my life and hers, I now find myself single and focused on the Lord again, having fewer doubts now about the authenticity of my potential calling.

 

[God_is_merciful]

What a wonderful thing to be discerning! I am a convert to the faith, and am discerning between religious life as a sister and the vocation of marriage. My younger brother, who also became Catholic, is getting his Master’s in theology and may become a priest. All I can tell you is that I deeply regret the emotional wounds I gave and received while dating. I didn’t date for the right reasons. Even if chastity is maintained in the relationship, it is really hard not to give your heart to someone long before God gives your hand to her. People date for some less than adequate reasons sometimes - here are a few:

Because everyone else is doing it (yes, everyone dated in high school and thought it was weird that I wanted to hold off until I was eligible and ready for marriage. I should never have listened to what secular society told me was normal)

Because you need to discover who you are (God gives us our identity. No one else can. And too often, we use others as a mirror to see more clearly who we are. Rather than relating to another person in a sacramental act of self-giving love, it’s pretty easy to be sucked into self-absorbed dating that fails to commit.)

Because girls are pretty awesome and attractive (Men are naturally ordered to be drawn to women. This is good and healthy. Priests have natural sex drives too, but they wed the church and live a life of celibacy for, in Jesus’ words, “the sake of the kingdom of God.” That means giving up the lesser goods, like sex and companionship for an even greater good.)

There’s one good reason to date: to discern the vocation of marrriage.

If you believe you are ultimately destined for the priesthood, it is awesome to have good female, as well as male, friends. Before you date, though, ask yourself first if it would be charitable other-centered love to encourage a girl’s affections and romantic interest with no intention of marrying her?

The ways you use your love, affections, and sexuality matter a lot. A spiritual director can help you find the path to your vocation. If you feel a yearning, and a whispering inside, don’t be afraid to follow Christ on a road less travelled. You will never regret falling in love with God and his people in a whole new way! I’ll be praying for you, and please pray for me and my brother! Thanks!

 

[Cryptic1]

Hey there,
I’m 16, I hope to become a priest someday. Here’s the problem. I see other young people dating and I feel really attracted to girls ( not in a sexual way ). I just can’t help it. I don’t know what to do. Do u think I shud suppress my feelings, or what shud I do. I probably will end up becoming a religious unless the Lord has a different path for me. I need ur help guys. Is it okay to date once it’s pure and holy??? God Bless!!confused:

Your attraction to girls is perfectly natural, especially for a young man of your age. God made male and female to complement one another, and the appeal that each sex has for the other is all part of God’s master plan…

You say you want to become a priest, but before you make that commitment, I would consider all my options. Sixteen is so very young and it’s possible that you are experiencing more of a spiritual awakening than a calling to the priesthood.

We are all called to be saints, according to St Paul in the bible–it just depends on what state of life you choose. The call to holiness is not limited to the priesthood, just in case you were wondering. You can be married or single and still attain a state of holiness. It all depends on how closely you walk with God

You sound like a very sensible young man, I would certainly pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance at this time. Ask Him to show you if this is God’s will for you. Whatever you do, take your time before committing to what will be one of the most important decisions of your life.

God Rocks

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Hey there,
I’m 16, I hope to become a priest someday. Here’s the problem. I see other young people dating and I feel really attracted to girls ( not in a sexual way ). I just can’t help it. I don’t know what to do.

That’s a good thing and completely normal. As Catholics we (are supposed to) date with the purpose of finding a spouse and not socially (as is what’s common about dating in high school). While you see other young people dating, there is a good chance that they are not dating for the purpose of marriage, but as a social thing. For this reason I would recommend NOT dating, but you shouldn’t suppress your attraction to women. That’s normal and I’m sure if you talk to priests they too will tell you the same thing. You need to learn to control your natural feelings and urges so they do not lead you into sin. Regardless of what your vocation is, having control over this will be important and necessary.

 

[wcknight]

I knew I wanted the married life from very early on. I listened to a priest who prior to becoming a priest says he dated someone seriously and it helped him decide for the priesthood.

You need to find out well in advance IF the priesthood is what you want and want God wants. It would be more difficult I think if you never experience what dating and having female companionshsip is really like.

Of couse you should let whoever you are dating know well in advance, what your intentions are up front, so there are no surprises down the road. It would not be fair if someone were to fall in love with you and you suddenly pulled the rug from them with out prior warning.

You may want to talk to a few priests to see what their experince or opinion is on the subject of dating. We need many more priests. God bless you for even considering the priesthood as a serious option.