Girls (or boys) night out if married?

[mrpathetic]

Whoa! LOL I actually…agree with mr. pathetic!!

(Sorry mr.p, I’m just used to us being on opposite sides in these threads. )

This is very good advice. I’ll say it again: having a “girl’s night out” with a bunch of single gals, especially in a place like a bar, is something single people do. “When I was a child, I spoke as a child…But when I became grown, I put away childish things…” replace child with single and grown with married and you get the general idea.

Agreed. This “girl’s night” out just seems like one, giant, undeniable occasion to sin. And as Christians, we are called to avoid occasions to sin. We could put ourself in a position where we could sin, and we need to strive to avoid sin at all costs.

Recovering alcoholics should not go in to liquor stores. Recovering sex addicts should not go into adult bookstores. And married women should not go on “girl’s night out”, with single women who are looking for men.

 

[Talevita]

My husband and I both have night out, usually on the same night. He goes to play games with four or five of his friend’s at a hobby store and I spend time with two of my friend’s. You see we live in Utah so please understand that the few bars and clubs around here are not like some mentioned in this thread. My friend’s aren’t looking for guys, we just find someplace to hang out and laugh with music and some drinks, day of week pending. My husband and I spend the rest of the week with each other, but we need our nights on our own.

 

[iluvmybabies]

really?

but I do have to say that “chocolate bar” would trump any bar, any club, any time. where do I find one of those?! lol

lol sorry laughing at myself just thinking about it, imagine instead of going out to bars all the single ladies and married ones went to chocolate bar all the time, our men and future men would hate that bar, they’d be jealous that we spend a lot of time there!!! LOL I know my bf would be like “all you do is spend your time there, what about me!!!” LOL Sorry that kind of seemed funny to me…Especially since I love chocolate…It would be the worst temptation ever… I mentioned this to my sister and she said, she’s a chocoholic, should be attending chocoholics anonymous, every chance she gets she has to have at least one piece of chocolate every hour!!! LOL…She was like, “oh man hubby will be thinking I’m having an affair with the chocolate bunny!!!” LOL

About girls hanging out at a bar…Usually bf goes with us, but when I was married and my sister invited me to a party, we literally went clubbing…Bar hopping and all, it was fun, 50% of the women with us were married and the other 50% single…the single ladies went and did their thing and the married ones stuck together, we would form a circle with each other and just dance the night away…This didn’t allow for any single men to come up to us at all…We gave off the “off zone” signs, and we didn’t mind at all. We had a great time, we chatted, had a few drinks, and danced until our old feet couldn’t take it any more…:crying::extrahappy::whacky:
Here we were all in our late 20s and 30s pretending we were in our late teens early 20s…LOL

But I wouldn’t regret it ever it was more fun than when I was single…I had a huge group of friends to party with and I loved it.

Now it’s usually to a restaurant, movies, or hanging out at the house with our friends. IF we do go out it’s just to a few bars where we will play pool or go bowling…lol…Nothing all that fancy or dramatic…lol…

Bf has gone out to bars with his friends before, I trust him, and yes I am sure he was hit on by tons of single ladies, but I’m the one he’s in love with and I was the one he was on the phone with after all the partying and before he went to bed…I believe in him and I am ok with it…

So I guess it just depends on if you are going to be feeling weird about all the single men hitting on your friends and your friends dancing and leaving you behind, etc, or if you are just going to go out there and have fun even if it’s by yourself…If you can go with married friends and dance together then you might have so much fun you’ll think you’re young again!!!LOL It’s true happened to me…lol Of course the next day I was in so much pain but hey it was worth it! LOL

 

[BiologyBrain]

Thank you guys for all the advice. I’m not really going to say anything to either party since its not really my place. I was really wanting to know if I was just behind the times/ultra-conservative/stick-in-the-mud. I’m younger than both of them by about 5 years, but I’ve always been labeled as a goody-two-shoes and/or stick-in-the-mud b/c I wasn’t ever a party person & wasn’t interested in doing the deed until I got married.

BTW I completely agree that there are different types of bars &/or activities w/ friends that can be completely innocent. However, in my OP I did try to show that it wasn’t just the location, but the company that was troublesome.

I did get word today that the priest is going to invite them to Retroville (spelling?) so they can work on their differences in a Catholic/Christian atmosphere. Everyone is hoping it works out for them! We love them both - with their vices & virtues alike! Thanks bunches!

 

[chevalier]

My husband and I both have night out, usually on the same night. He goes to play games with four or five of his friend’s at a hobby store and I spend time with two of my friend’s. You see we live in Utah so please understand that the few bars and clubs around here are not like some mentioned in this thread. My friend’s aren’t looking for guys, we just find someplace to hang out and laugh with music and some drinks, day of week pending. My husband and I spend the rest of the week with each other, but we need our nights on our own.

Yeah, as much as I’d spoil the unlucky Mrs, I’d die if I couldn’t play games on at least some evenings or sip some beer with doods sometimes.

 

[iluvmybabies]

Yeah, as much as I’d spoil the unlucky Mrs, I’d die if I couldn’t play games on at least some evenings or sip some beer with doods sometimes.

Bf and I have a great understanding about each other’s space…It’s great that I get to hang out with my girls once in a while even if it’s with the kids, you know going to the park, restaurant or movies…It’s fun even with kids…And my bf gets to go out with his buds so it’s a good thing…

I wouldn’t be happy if he ever went to a strip joint, I think it would really hurt me…But I am very lucky my bf doesn’t need that kind of show…lol…

 

[Charlotte408]

Oh thats easy…

Firstly, you have to respect yourself, your Husband, your family & marriage, so no matter WHERE you go you should always have that in mind and behave accordingly, regardless of what your friends are doing.

With regard to WHAT exactly they are doing, if its inappropriate, then in order to maintain respect for YOURSELF, you should distance yourself from them.

As far as ‘girl time’, ask your Husband. Does he feel comfortable with you going to a bar? If he doesnt have a problem with it, and your capable of going out without losing this mentality (as aforementioned) then go and have fun. If he doesnt, you would have to respect his feelings- instead go and have your hair/nails done with the girls…go shopping with the girls…go have lunch and a movie with the girls…theres plenty of things you can do with the girls and get out of the house.

I’m 27, all my friends have really active social lives…but they respect that being a mom is my first priority, and that I have to behave in a way I would want my kid to imitate…if they really REALLY are your friends, they’ll understand this too and save the clubs/bars for their other single friends without holding it against you…