Give me one good reason why I shouldn't leave the Church!

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I was surprised to find that Mother Theresa had many years when she felt abandoned by Our Lord, especially since she also seemed so serene and happy in her pictures, etc.

Also, in readiing (not enough) of St. John of the Cross and St. Theresa, they had periods when they felt abandoned, dry.

Remember that Our Lord did not seek gratification from his sufferings, but He gave them up willingly, and he trusted that they would be rewarded.

You seem very devoted, and I admire all you have done.

Just remember that many have been on this journey, and they have discerned pitfalls along the way, and they have great insight. Read them…St. John of the Cross, St. Theresa of Avila, St. Francis de Sales, etc.

They say that often, when we expect an outcome, this is a sign of pride, which is often sets us back on our journey.
 
Paris, I have read quite a number of your posts and your coming into the Church reminds me somehow of how my Mother approached holidays, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter etc. They were days when the family would come together and Mom would get all enthused and wound-up getting ready and anticipating how wonderful things were going to be. The anticipation was being in “High Cotton.” Then the day would arrive and Uncle Bill would get drunk and nasty and then pass out, Jim and Tony would get into squabble about who had the best truck, something in the oven or on the stove would burn and well the real event never quite measured up to what had been imagined and anticipated. In my opinion it has turned out that being what you imagine is a “good” Catholic has turned out to be unexciting, hard work, and not immediately very gratifying. Protestants are strong on sola fide and you seem to be strong on works. If I tried over the years to stuff all that you think you “should” be doing in a single day, every day I would have left the Church for sure. Relax a little and just be with the Lord. Instead of a Chapter a day from the Bible let a single verse or two bubble through your mind each day, instead of a Rosary, an Our Father or a Hail Mary from time to time with an opportunity to meditate on what ever in the prayer strikes your mind. Being Catholioc is not an Olympic event.
 
Let me just chime in here in agreement with Rayne and spiritblows’ suggestions. I think it might help you to speak with a professional about the problems you’ve been having. Perhaps they can best guide you in your journey. I strongly reccomend a Catholic therapist. God Bless.
 
Paris,

I’m reading C.S. Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters, and I think that the book would do you a world of good. There’s a chapter covering the devil specifically talking about new converts thinking that they have to constantly feel the thrill of emotion that they did in the beginning. Emotion has nothing to do with it, and dryness is to be expected.

This is so you, brother. Get it for yourself for Christmas!

Peace,
JohnPaul
 
quote: MamaSusie
Start over again and again as often as you need to TEACH yourself discipline…

…I’m hearing a lot about where you fail, but nothing about what you do to get back up…

…Realize that you DO have control over your actions, and that you DO have the power to change them, and that it IS a learning process…

…Take baby steps, but for goodness sake DO NOT LAY DOWN!..
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Good grief.

Been putting off back exercises…and now that
I’ve read this! - I’ll have the exercise mat out within the hour!
As to the spiritual life: when you’re crowding 60,
*nothing *surprises one, any longer…highs, lows,
fervent, indifferent, ‘feeling’ spiritual, ‘feeling’
cynical…

I may feel up or down, this way or that…yet God is
changless - in His steadfast love, and in His understanding
of the human condition.

Life is a long distance run…not the 100 yard dash…
It’s a matter of pacing, I think.

[Pop was a long distance runner…]

I did like the way MamaSusie put it:

quote: MamaSusie
Take baby steps…
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I believe it was Fr. Groeschel who said:
“Take the next good step.”

And, sometimes in life, it’s all that a person can do.
[Not to mention the fact that it’s a humbling thing - to
realize that the ‘choices’ narrow down to…baby steps.]

Thanks for your thoughts, MamaSusie.

reen12
 
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decn2b:
Paris,

I have read your posts and have mentioned in the past they made me feell “funny”. I am not quite sure what it is. I keep getting the feeling that somehow you are trying to set the readers on this board up. Are you really a New convert? or are you someone else that is trying to set us up for an argument?
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I have to agree with you about this…little fishy :confused:
 
Dear Paris, I read one time that we all need to take someone along on the journey with us, that is further along on the journey than we are. Sounds to me like you do this. You come here for advice, you share your feelings, thoughts and concerns. I think that you are very healthy and emotionally sound. However, I am not a Doctor of any kind, nor do I pretend to be. In my humble opinion, you sound just like any other believer I have ever talked to.
Some wonderful advice I have been given over the years is what I would like to share with you. I have been Catholic my entire life. I was Baptized when I was two weeks old. Normally I get my advice from Priests, Nuns, Monks, Brothers, Deacons, from reading about the Saints, Praying the Rosary and Chaplet of Divine Mercy daily, reading the Bible and going to Mass more than once a week, at times, reading, for my entire life, the Cathechism, the little devotional books that I have come across, and anything and everything on EWTN, the Vatican web site, and sites like this one. We all go through this, everyone.
Here are some of the best pieces of advice I have been given in life:
-It’s not about your feelings.
-Pick one thing, and do it well.
-Pray the Rosary daily.
-Go to Adoration at least once a week, more if possible.
-Go to confession every two weeks, more if necessary.
-Go to Mass as often as possible. Daily if you can, for a time, if you can’t go daily always.
-Remember your morning offering.(Contact HIM when you wake up and offer your day to HIM, (the prayer Church Militant gave you is awesome.)
-Keep going even when you don’t think you can, Jesus is calling you to a deeper relationship.
-Read the book of Job
-Be still and know that I am God.
Those are just some of the many wonderful bits of advice I have been given over the years. It would take a series of books to share them all.
I, along with so many others here, will keep you in my daily prayers.
-Just recently I heard Fr. Benedict Grochele on EWTN say–“Never give up!”
I will ask the Blessed Mother to wrap you in her mantle of protection, and to lead you back to her Son, Christ, Jesus. God love you and keep you and may the Holy Spirit shine in your soul in such a way, that even you know of His presence in you.(that reminds me of another wonderful piece of advice, speak to the Holy Spirit, and ask Him to help you, He will console and comfort you and lead and guide you.)
-I have a wonderful prayer for you to pray to your guardian angel too, but hey, everyone has already given you enough advice to keep you busy for the next few years. 😛
 
One very good reason not to leave - because it’s the truth! There’s simply no where else to go. I know that living the faith can be very hard in this secular world but the suffering that you feel can be redemptive and will ultimately bring to a higher state of grace. Don’t give up. I’ll pray for you.
 
. Heck, I used to fall asleep praying the rosary. I don’t think I’ve ever said a full rosary in my life. 😉

My mother used to tell me if you fell asleep while saying the rosary, the angels finished it for you! 🙂
 
I’m quoting your post, Paris, so I’ll put my own words in bold type, to make it easier to see the difference.

No, I thought our Lady told us to pray it everyday! Everytime I pray, it feels like I’m just using mere words in my head.

And this is different from us Cradle Catholics, how?..No disrespect meant, but that’s how it is for me, most of the time. I pray, and it’s just words. I keep on, and now and them I have moments of grace, moments when I feel His love. The rest of the time, I pray because I know it keeps me in His will.

I’ve read the NT three times now and I’ve stopped reading it 'cause I really don’t understand it. I can’t interpret what it says, otherwise I’d be accuse of being a Protestant! Besides, everytime I try to read it, I can’t find it spiritually helpful, unless I have the wrong attitutude which I do.

**Don’t unerstand what you read? Ask someone. **
(On reflection, that sounds flippant. It isn’t meant to be. If you read a passage and fail to understnd it, consult someone who understands more than you.
**About being accused of being a Protestant, **
**I’m not certain what you mean. **
I suggest you look for passages that express what you’re feeling right now…this frustration, the feeling of dryness, you aren’t alone in feeling this way.
Look in Paul’s letter to the Romans, 7:15, and recall that the man saying this, is one of the great Saints, an Apostle, one of those who wrote the New Testament. If he suffered this, and became what he did, why should you and I give up?

Look, I go to Confession whether they are venial sins or not! Am I overdoing? Of course I know what a mortal sin is after 1200 + posts, you don’t think I’m THAT dumb, do ya? 😉 Plus, going to Confession is a great way to go to Adoration after (that is, if I know what the heck I’m doing)

**Overdoing? I don’t know. Talk to a priest who knows you pesonally. **

You’re right, it is me. I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with me that’s making me act and think like I do. I don’t want to or anything but since I’m weak, I “fail”.

Romans, 7:15…And read on from there to find what Paul says about how to deal with this.

HOW do I adore Him is what I’m having trouble with. Since I was NOT brought up Catholic obviously, I don’t got a clue really. Maybe I should ask Father that too.

**Don’t give up. Don’t stop. Pray even when your prayer is only words. Obey even when obedience brings no comfort. Trust Him even when you don’t feel His presence. **
**That is how to adore Him. **

They dont’ have a young adult group and if they did, it’s only high school and middle school. NO college. Only K-12 and middle and high.

Because it’s just not. I’m reading a basic How to Pray Catholic Prayer book. I wish I did mean what I say. I guess I don’t but would like to.

(Sigh.) Been there. Oh God how I’ve been there. **
I’m a Cradle Catholic. I went through times…years long…when the slightest prayer was hard, when keeping a habit of prayer was (or felt) impossible. A time when a priest recommentded to me, that I just spend five minutes a day in prayer…and I couldn’t do it!
**I never quite gave up trying, though, and in time God led me to those who could help me. **

**Praise Him for His grace and mercy. :dancing: **

Yeah, I think you told me that more than once that it’s me and I’m now more aware of it. I think the problem was I THOUGHT the Church requires us to do what I’m having trouble with and that’s why I thought I was spiritual ill 'cause I was failing to do with what the CC requires, but then again, who knows if THAT’S true or not.

**If you have doubts about what’s required of you, then ask someone. **

Yeah, it did a little. What am I suppose to do, just wait and pray and keep trying no matter what?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Never give up. Never give up, ever.

I should go to the Adoration again, eh?

**It’s not which particular devotion you attend that matters: it’s that you go on praying and trusting Him. **

Additonal comment: I want to add my agreement with some of the advice others are giving you, especially in posts # 45 and 46. I see people here saying things I wish I had thought to say, and being more eloquent about it than I could be.
Praise the Name of Jesus, and thank Him for His love.
 
It seems that some people need an emotional feeling to have faith. I feel like that sometimes, but a strong faith keeps believing even when you don’t “feel” like it.

You will not always get that emotional high from Mass, or Adoration, or Confession-but you don’t need it. Keep strong in the Faith, regardless of what you “feel”. Once I moved to the city and had easy access to daily Mass, Confession any and every day, Adoration frequently, I grew in the Faith-but I also got scrupulous and legalistic. I’ve backed off, and I think it is really doing me good. I think I wanted to do all the “Catholic stuff” at once-I bit off more than I could chew.

You don’t “need” to do all the devotions, like going to Mass daily. If you feel like you are “just going through the motions” than don’t go every day. You don’t “have to”. I sometimes also feel that I’m sinning or not being a good Catholic because I miss a daily Mass, or I don’t do my usual prayer routine-so don’t make it a routine. Most people that I know that go to daily Mass daily and devoutly seem to evolve into it. Once you really get into your faith, you will grow into what you need to do. The worst thing you can do is despair your Catholic Faith because you don’t “feel” it.
 
because you made a solemn profession of faith, asked for and received Confirmation, just weeks ago, and to abandon this faith is apostasy, a terrible sin. Please stay in touch with your priest and RCIA team, as many here have often urged you to do, especially during the first months after your initiation, because doubts and questions will still be coming up. In almost all your posts you exhibit some very emotional reactions to things you hear and experience, which suggests you need some help discerning these things, and also that you tend to judge what is going on in your spiritual life (and perhaps in your relationships) on a purely emotional basis, which is unreliable and dangerous.

do not make grandiose promises about daily devotions. as another poster said, do one thing and do it faithfully.
fulfill your Sunday obligation
receive the sacraments frequently
choose one prayer practice and do it faithfully and do not change or add to it for several months, until the habit is firmly engrained
this, plus the graces from the sacraments, will gradually lead you to do more
don’t do any devotions out of obligation, only out of love, and by that I do not mean affection, emotion, sentiment or search for excitement, assurance and affirmation. I mean the kind of love that stands beneath a dying man on a cross when he is apparently powerless.

cease using religion as a source of emotional satisfaction, and use it for what it is, an ongoing growing relationship with Jesus Christ and his Church, gathered to give all to the Father, in the protection of the Holy Spirit.
 
Mental stability is often shaped by the things we do. If you’re feeling doubt (a form of instability), I would recommend you do several things over the course of a week (and see how you feel after the week is over):
  1. No TV
  2. No radio
  3. No newspapers
  4. No computers
  5. Go out into nature
After a week, see how you feel.🙂
 
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puzzleannie:
because you made a solemn profession of faith, asked for and received Confirmation, just weeks ago, and to abandon this faith is apostasy, a terrible sin. Please stay in touch with your priest and RCIA team, as many here have often urged you to do, especially during the first months after your initiation, because doubts and questions will still be coming up. In almost all your posts you exhibit some very emotional reactions to things you hear and experience, which suggests you need some help discerning these things, and also that you tend to judge what is going on in your spiritual life (and perhaps in your relationships) on a purely emotional basis, which is unreliable and dangerous.

do not make grandiose promises about daily devotions. as another poster said, do one thing and do it faithfully.
fulfill your Sunday obligation
receive the sacraments frequently
choose one prayer practice and do it faithfully and do not change or add to it for several months, until the habit is firmly engrained
this, plus the graces from the sacraments, will gradually lead you to do more
don’t do any devotions out of obligation, only out of love, and by that I do not mean affection, emotion, sentiment or search for excitement, assurance and affirmation. I mean the kind of love that stands beneath a dying man on a cross when he is apparently powerless.

cease using religion as a source of emotional satisfaction, and use it for what it is, an ongoing growing relationship with Jesus Christ and his Church, gathered to give all to the Father, in the protection of the Holy Spirit.
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Superb advice! :bowdown:
 
Paris Blues:
I don’t know if it’s just me or it’s the dang weather (snow) or if it’s the devil or what but I don’t think I can make it as a Catholic! :mad:

Don’t ask why because I don’t know why either.

It’s almost (name removed by moderator)OSSIBLE!!!
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Maybe satan sees a person that is trying hard to follow church teachings and the teachings of our Lord and is trying to discourage you. The enemy attacks the just trying to sway them. Remember how Mother Theresa suffered terrible doubts and dispair during her life. We didn’t know it until after that holy woman was gone. If it could happen to her it certainly can happen to us. Don’t give up. Pray that God strengthen you. I will pray for you.
maggiec
 
You know, I just absolutely love it when people tell me I’m psycho.:rolleyes: :mad:
If you guys have such a problem with my “!!!” or “what am I doing wrong???” kinda thing, then I’m sorry. I myself wonder why I do that even, believe it or not. I’m also aware that I could be giving you guys a bad “definition” of who I am so to speak by the way I post.

Just for YOUR info, I’m very aware that I may be not seem “normal” and I’m trying to see why the heck I’m like the way I am but I guess I can post with the exclamation !!! and without enthusiasm if it bothers you that much.

It’s just that I’m a very sensitive and emotional person. I can sometimes go overboard when I really don’t intend to. I over eggagerate (sp?) when I post even if I don’t “feel” it inside and I know that causes others to judge me badly when I don’t intend to.

Sorry, I guess I could be hyper [images.bravenet.com/common/images/smilies/hyper.gif](javascript: void(0)😉
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rayne89:
I’ve seen your posts a lot on the forum and most of them have “!!!” in them. I tend to agree with Sherlock here. You seem to have extreme highs and then extreme lows. It seems you either have a very “high-strung” personality type, you have psychological problems or you have a high need to seek attention, approval, and/or reassurance from others. Looking back at your threads you can see how you bounce around to extreme and absolute certainty of the truth of the Catholic Church or major doubts or feelings of unworthiness. And sometimes seemingly minor events send you plummeting into doubts. Just a few days ago you adamant about the Church being the true church and now you want to leave it?

That is what you said a few days ago. Look at the some of ypur recent thread titles.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! I’m so ticked off! 12/13/05

I Just Don’t Get It! 12/8/05

Why I LOVE being Catholic! 12/3/05

Losing zeal…what’s going on?? 11/29/05

Non-Catholics don’t get it! 11/28/05

Where’s my zeal?!?!?! 11/23/05

So Disappointed! 11/16/05

Is it my enthusiaism or do I sound anti-Protestant? 11/16/05

Awesome! 11/14/05

Was the devil part of the Deformation…I mean Reformation?? 10/10/05

These are just some of threads where I’ve noticed you bounced from one extreme to the next. You can not base your faith in the church (or Christ) in you feelings at the moment. People go through months and even sometimes years of spiritual dryness. Didn’t you just come into the church a month ago? Do you expect to feel on fire for God or his church every moment of the day from now on? It just doesn’t work that way. Believing in God (and his church) is not about feelings its about faith and trust.

Paris do you have a spiritual advisor? If not, you need a good spiritual advisor and possibly a good Catholic counselor. These extremes are not a sign of healthy spiritual development. To come here and say you don’t think you can be Catholic and you don’t even know why looks from the outside as if you want people to reply with. “Oh no Paris please don’t leave.” Other people’s actions, other people’s words - can not be the reason you stay or go. It must be something internal. Something within that just keeps you plugging along in good times and bad. Being a good Catholic is not about how many rosaries you pray. Or how pious you act. It’s about where your heart lies. Your faith must be in God, not in people and not in feelings.

You need to seek out a good spiritual advisor. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Don’t take things to Heart Paris, you got a lot of feedback and really good advice on this thread. Take the time to read it, and absorb it.

God Bless
 
All right, let’s look at it this way…

Maybe being a Catholic is overwhelming sometimes and if you’re a convert, it’s even more because you have to do things where you’ve never done them before![images.bravenet.com/common/images/smilies/shocking.gif](javascript: void(0)😉

Though believe it or not, I’m trying to not fall away…I really am trying.
 
Because the Catholic Church is a hospital for sinners. We practice out faith and we fail. But we keep trying. It is indeed hard but we have examples from the past in the Saints that it is possible.
 
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