Give up

[Pilsen]

Please pray for me, my mind and spirit is very disturbed.

I am suffering with a physical condition & have reached the point where I feel it would be better to die & go to hell then endure another day on Earth. As sad as this may sound I would prefer to go to hell than continue here.

Does anybody ever sometimes feel that Jesus is just obsessed with suffering? And that all there is to life is just suffering?

I’ve tried, I really gave it my best shot to try and get to heaven. But in the midst of all this adversity, salvation doesn’t mean much now. I guess God tested my faithfulness and I’ve failed.

Dw I’m not going to so anything silly, but I’ve just reached the point where I’ve exhausted every fibre of myself & there’s no more to give to God. I feel like in hell at least God won’t be expecting anything of me.

In saying all this, God is probably going to pursue me with adversity after another.

I like Mary, I’m going to miss her.

 

[O_Sapientia]

It may feel like you are completely bent and broken. Perhaps you are. But God has not and will never abandon you. He will not give you more than you can do. If you are defeated now then it is because you are to be reshaped and reborn again for your own well-being, now and for eternity.

There is only one thing God asks of you right now. That is to exercise your will and direct it towards Him. Do not try for specific thoughts, do not try for specific prayers. Simply abandon yourself to Him. “Not my will, but thine be done.” Let this be on your only and constant prayer and you will be delivered. If you have been brought to your knees then kneel. For God will raise you higher than you have ever been standing.

Do not bid farewell to Our Blessed Lady too soon. One does not make a leavetaking from their Mother quiet so easily. You will find that she is with you at this very moment. Her mantle is draped around you and she will protect you and always be there to assist you.

You are her son as truly as Jesus is her Son. He also was broken, He also was brought to His knees with the weight of a heavy cross upon His back. She saw Him immolated upon a tree and held His desolated body in her loving arms. But she also saw His Resurrection in glory and triumph and partook in the downfall of sin and death. Not only will she witness your own rise but she will facilitate it as well! Hold fast to her Immaculate Heart as truly as her arms hold you.

I will pray for you.

Yours in Jesus and Mary,
OS.

 

[Trishie]

You do sound worn down and perhaps depressed. That kind of state does make it more difficult to view life and God positively.
I hope you find some relief and hope in a heart that finds some joy amid the difficulties.
I think we do need to find little things to be grateful for,
and yes, I have known many adversities, yet if we look we can find little things to be grateful for that we can easily miss.

Eternal God, when my spirit has burned to ashes, ground to dust with a boulder of mute and heavy sorrow, please give me trust in Your personal love for me and for my loved ones.

When mine, or others’ mistakes or uncaring have wounded and savaged my heart, where are You to restore what is injured even when I plead for Your intervention and strive to heal the damage? And yet, though You seem absent, I still humbly cry out for Your mercy and healing.

When my efforts leave me helpless with no path left to try, please comfort me and show me a new path.

When others undermine with repeated assaults and short-circuit my resolve, send wise friends to comfort and support me. For no sooner has one problem and heartache eased or resolved than another, equally painful, arises for another or myself.

When I seek You but sometimes feel You are heartlessly steeled against me and my life becomes a flat salt desert. Please help me to trust in You even then, when trust no longer seems possible.

When my heart cries out repeatedly, groping in the helplessness of fears, disappointments and grief that words cannot convey; screaming in the silence of my brain. Is my only comfort, some day, death?

Yet still I call on You and place my tatters of faith in You.

O God, I humbly implore…
In my lack of trust, let me live faith.
In my disappointment, let me live hope.
In my bleakness, let me live joy.
In the emptiness of my heart, let me live love.
In my deprivations, let me value what is precious before You.
In my weakness and illness, grant me spiritual health.

In my anger and resentment, let me live generosity and forgiveness.
In my detachment, let me live community.
In the difficulties of commitment, let me be dedicated.
In my failures, let Your Spirit bless and heal.
In my successes, let Your will be served.

In human reality, let me live spiritual wisdom.
In maturity, let me become true child of the Father.
In my individuality, let me live in Eucharistic communion.
In the kind and warm things that I try to do, let Your grace flow.

In the confusion of my life, in my striving and good intentions
—regardless of my doubts, mistakes and infirmities, let me fully live Your will in vibrant, humble trust.

 

[Simca]

Please pray for me, my mind and spirit is very disturbed.

I am suffering with a physical condition & have reached the point where I feel it would be better to die & go to hell then endure another day on Earth. As sad as this may sound I would prefer to go to hell than continue here.

Does anybody ever sometimes feel that Jesus is just obsessed with suffering? And that all there is to life is just suffering?

I’ve tried, I really gave it my best shot to try and get to heaven. But in the midst of all this adversity, salvation doesn’t mean much now. I guess God tested my faithfulness and I’ve failed.

Dw I’m not going to so anything silly, but I’ve just reached the point where I’ve exhausted every fibre of myself & there’s no more to give to God. I feel like in hell at least God won’t be expecting anything of me.

In saying all this, God is probably going to pursue me with adversity after another.

I like Mary, I’m going to miss her.

I was in a similar situation many years ago. I had nothing left, and there was no more that I could give to God. I finally told him, ‘I have nothing left, I am empty, fill me with yourself.’ My life has since become more filled with the presence of God than I had ever thought possible.

Don’t give up. God knows you have already given Him all you can. Now let God give himself to you. Let Mary be your mother.

It may feel like you are completely bent and broken. Perhaps you are. But God has not and will never abandon you. He will not give you more than you can do. If you are defeated now then it is because you are to be reshaped and reborn again for your own well-being, now and for eternity.

There is only one thing God asks of you right now. That is to exercise your will and direct it towards Him. Do not try for specific thoughts, do not try for specific prayers. Simply abandon yourself to Him. “Not my will, but thine be done.” Let this be on your only and constant prayer and you will be delivered. If you have been brought to your knees then kneel. For God will raise you higher than you have ever been standing.
I will pray for you.

Yours in Jesus and Mary,
OS.

Yes, amen.

I’m praying for you.

 

[Loving_disciple]

Please pray for me, my mind and spirit is very disturbed.

I am suffering with a physical condition & have reached the point where I feel it would be better to die & go to hell then endure another day on Earth. As sad as this may sound I would prefer to go to hell than continue here.

Does anybody ever sometimes feel that Jesus is just obsessed with suffering? And that all there is to life is just suffering?

I’ve tried, I really gave it my best shot to try and get to heaven. But in the midst of all this adversity, salvation doesn’t mean much now. I guess God tested my faithfulness and I’ve failed.

Dw I’m not going to so anything silly, but I’ve just reached the point where I’ve exhausted every fibre of myself & there’s no more to give to God. I feel like in hell at least God won’t be expecting anything of me.

In saying all this, God is probably going to pursue me with adversity after another.

I like Mary, I’m going to miss her.

Where is Jesus when you are suffering?
On the cross right by you

 

[R_C]

Suffering is salvific and redemptive. Christ came down to suffer for us, because through suffering He would save us. We, too, suffer for the sake of our salvation and for the salvation of countless other souls.

I invite you to learn about redemptive suffering, a core teaching of Christianity:

Redemptive suffering

“To Love and to Suffer” - the Science of the Saints

Apostolic Letter “Salvifici Doloris” on the Christian meaning of human suffering

One of the most distressing things about suffering is that to many it appears pointless. Even to those in the household of the faith, who may understand or at least respect the vocation of, say, a cloistered nun or a hermit monk, but not apply the same reasoning when suffering enters his or her own existence. Thus the apostle writes: “We preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to the jews, foolishness to the nations”. Only in the work of God is suffering meaningful. Therefore I also invite you to consider the Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary in the Militia Immaculata, specifically in their second order of the Knights at the Foot of the Cross.

This is an international family of lay faithful, religious, and priests (actually, a group of millions of souls) founded by St. Maximilian Kolbe, recognized and highly praised by the Holy See, which offers prayers and sacrifices to the Lord through the hands of Our Lady. The Holy Father stated in 1981: “Membership in the Militia means complete dedication to the Kingdom of God and to the salvation of souls through Mary Immaculate.”

The Knights at the Foot of the Cross are a special group, foreseen by St. Kolbe and founded by religious of his order, who, being afflicted by the cross of suffering, participate in “redemptive suffering” (also called sacrificial or reparational suffering) as did Mary at the Cross of her Son. This means they offer their daily prayers and trials to Mary, who applies these gifts where grace is needed most, such as to convert hearts and save souls, to make amends for the sins of others, and ultimately to bring about the reign of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

They thus become a special core group or vanguard within the movement. Though often unable to actively evangelize because of infirmity, nonetheless they generate untold graces as they link their sufferings with those of Christ. Through the intercession of Mary, they offer up all to the Father as a “sacrifice of praise.”

9-day preparation

Consecration (scroll down for prayer)

Enrollment form

Let me know if I can be of further help with any clarifications on the above. Though I am no expert, I am not foreign to your struggle. I also attach an informative document on this.

 

[sjoc]

May I tell you a dream I had a couple nights back?

It felt somewhat real, but I was cut off from my physical body (I know it sounds crazy). There was a dark presence above me and I felt pain. I started praying, and the pain worsened. I realized the dark presence was a demon. He told me to stop praying, that it was useless. But I didn’t listen to him. I kept praying and called upon the saints. He taunted me and told me that if God and the saints were behind me, God would have delivered me by now and I would not be feeling any pain. Pain increased, and I felt as if I was on the brink of hell. I started crying for all the souls in hell because the pain I felt was only a foretaste of it. I was about to lose hope when I thought of our Blessed Mother. I started praying the Rosary starting with the sign of the cross. My arms felt restricted and I was unable to touch my forehead. I pushed through, and eventually, I was able to do the sign of the cross. Pain increased even more and I was about to give up, but after the first two lines of the Apostle’s Creed, I saw our Blessed Mother empowered by the Holy Spirit and the presence fleed so quickly. I suddenly felt peace and started crying out of joy. I saw myself running to our Blessed Mother and just cried in her arms.

Regardless of whether it was just a dream or a true spiritual experience, it has taught me something so important: to persevere, especially in prayer because that is where we grow in faith, hope, and love. No matter how minuscule your faith seems, you’ve got to keep pushing through. It made me realize how powerful the Rosary is, as well.

I somewhat understand your situation (as I was diagnosed with depression before my conversion) and to be honest, I did lose faith. I had stopped “praying” but in my heart I was. I was wishing for “God” (in quotations since I did stop believing in Him…but I knew there was something more) to come and rescue me. We do not wish to die, I’ve learned; we wish to be saved…and that’s exactly what God does and continues to do for us daily

My prayers are definitely with you. Keep hoping. Keep praying. Keep holding on.