Giving children access to phones, smartphones, texting, etc

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I have a 13 yo son (our oldest) who currently does not have a phone of his own, nor any other electronic devices which have internet capability. We do have several computers, a family playstation, family ipad, and a number of family ipods which we allow our children to use in the home. They are only allowed to use anything that is connected to the internet when they are in common areas of the house, and during the week (M-Th) the only electronics they are allowed to use are the computer (if needed for homework) and ipods (for listening to music). To date, we don’t believe he has needed a phone because he is never in a situation where there is no adult supervision (and, hence, an adult with a phone he can use if need be) except occasionally at home, where he can use our land line. We talk about after-school practices, who will pick him up and when, etc. so that he does not need to call us for rides.

My 13 yo’s school classmates all (literally-all of them) have phones, most of them smartphones, and many of them have other personal electronic devices at their disposal or in their rooms as well. The primary means of communication between these teens is texting- something my kid is feeling left out of because he doesn’t have a phone. I think it’s stupid that these kids don’t seem to be able to pick up a phone and use it to actually TALK to each other, but that apparently is not the way most kids communicate these days. I know that at some point, when he starts driving if not before, he will need access to a cell phone. I don’t want to be a prude, and I am not opposed to texting per se, what I am worried about is the constant need for access to each other that I see developing in these kids.

So my question is: when did you allow your child to have a phone and/or other internet-enabled device and what restrictions do you put on it?
I am not a parent, and I am 16, but I completely agree with you. It isn’t necessary for a 13 year old to have a cell phone, let alone a smartphone. I was 15 when I was allowed to have a cell phone, and that was only because I was going to be alone in a driver’s ed class across town all day, and my Mom wasn’t able to stay nearby. I was only allowed to call/text her and my Dad up until 2 months ago, because I have a couple of friends who live a great distance (1,000+ miles) away from me, and they sometimes only have time to text me. I have no internet access on it, which I am fine with, because it isn’t necessary. The only restrictions I currently have are: no internet (which is fine), and I have to ask my Mom if I am allowed to call/text someone, that way she knows who I am talking to and when.
 
Can you tell if he has deleted texts without your permission?
Yes. I can check the number of texts he has on our carrier’s website. I also know that he only has one friend he regularly texts with. All other texts are between him & various family members. lol He is a very “toe the line, stay out of trouble” sort of kid. If he’s going to get in trouble, it’s direct between he & my husband and I. Nothing that involves other kids, “getting caught”, etc. I was the same way as a kid. He is so me, it’s hilarious. He is also still quite innocent, which I love. For him, practicing his drums & baseball are far more fun than his phone.
 
Yes. I can check the number of texts he has on our carrier’s website. I also know that he only has one friend he regularly texts with. All other texts are between him & various family members. lol He is a very “toe the line, stay out of trouble” sort of kid. If he’s going to get in trouble, it’s direct between he & my husband and I. Nothing that involves other kids, “getting caught”, etc. I was the same way as a kid. He is so me, it’s hilarious. He is also still quite innocent, which I love. For him, practicing his drums & baseball are far more fun than his phone.
I didn’t know if there was a way to check that.

Good for him for exploring his interests in drums and baseball. Smart kid!
 
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