Giving out Recipes

[BlueEyedLady]

What’s your philosophy on sharing family recipes?

Personally, I don’t. If I found something online or in a cookbook, that’s one thing. But giving out the recipes for the things passed down from at least my great grandma to me? Nope. I learned how to make these things directly from my family, not by reading a recipe. I don’t think they could be accurately translated into writing, nor am I particularly inclined to teach others how to replicate my family’s food. I really look forward to passing food traditions onto my kids and grandkids the same way I learned.

But, in the age of Pinterest, people think I’m crazy when they ask for my chicken and noodles recipe and I say ‘no’. Your experiences?

 

[jeannetherese]

It’s easy for a recipe cook to share recipe’s and much more of a challenge for someone who cooks by feel or by taste. In the latter case, exact replication may not be possible. I love recipes which call for butter the size of an egg, or instruct the cook to knead until smooth and elastic; but I know that my idea of egg size might be a bit different from yours and that there are varying degrees of elasticity.

I share recipes, but respect the attachments of others who do not.
Of course, now I am intrigued by the much coveted chicken and noodles recipe. It’s cool to have a specialty that others look forward to enjoying when you come to visit.

 

[His_helpmeet]

My mother had a neat idea as far as sharing family recipes. When her grandmother and aunt passed away within a year of each other, she orchestrated a family cookbook that included both their recipes and recipes submitted by family members. She did the same thing when my grandmother and my aunt passed away. The books included memories and stories, and in Grandma’s cookbook there were photos as well. Mom included family favourites such as Oma’s paska (Ukrainian Easter bread), Tante Rosa’s mustard, and Grandma’s famous cinnamon buns, chocolate chip cookies, and donuts.

 

[mommy_k]

I don’t cook with recipes. When asked, I just tell what’s in it.

I do bake with recipes because u have to be exact. I share these.

 

[pensmama87]

Usually I say, “It’s a family secret!” with a smile. Nobody’s pushed me further than that.

There’s only a couple recipes that I really don’t want to share, though.

 

[pensmama87]

I don’t cook with recipes. When asked, I just tell what’s in it.

I do bake with recipes because u have to be exact. I share these.

Oh yeah, someone asked for meatloaf recipes the other day, and I was baffled that such a thing would even exist. I never make mine the same way.

 

[AClaire11]

I don’t have any family recipes, but I’m always happy to share my tweaks on recipes I’ve found. I don’t get what the big secret is, honestly. Not being able to write it down is one thing, I guess, but refusing to share out of principle is odd to me. Like is the apple cake I make once in a while for a few people really going to be ruined because someone across the country has the recipe, too? I don’t understand that attitude and if I asked a friend or relative for a recipe and they just flatly said no, I’d be hurt and offended and would probably not want to speak to them for a while.

 

[AClaire11]

Oh yeah, someone asked for meatloaf recipes the other day, and I was baffled that such a thing would even exist. I never make mine the same way.

I have no idea how to make meatloaf, so I’d definitely need a recipe. My mom used to make this awesome meatloaf with ground veal and ground beef and maybe ground turkey with bacon wrapped around it. That’s the only veal I’ll willingly eat. I need to ask for a copy of that recipe book.

 

[pensmama87]

I have no idea how to make meatloaf, so I’d definitely need a recipe. My mom used to make this awesome meatloaf with ground veal and ground beef and maybe ground turkey with bacon wrapped around it. That’s the only veal I’ll willingly eat. I need to ask for a copy of that recipe book.

The “base” is ground meat, breadcrumbs, and spices. Sometimes an egg depending on how well it sticks together. Sometimes I add diced bell pepper and onion. You can add a squirt of ketchup or barbeque sauce, or a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce. Bacon on top is delightful too.

Some people will top with a sauce or cheese to bake. 350 or 375 (even 400 for a smaller loaf) for 45 minutes to an hour.

We don’t make it often because even ground meat can be really expensive these days, but it’s very easy and tends to hold up well. I go by look and feel of the mixture, but it’s not always the same and it still turns out good.

 

[Bonnie]

I always share recipes when asked. But then, I used to have a food column in the local paper. I had to have the recipes written in such a way that a rank beginner could figure them out - my non-cooking husband helped me there.

One of my aunts had the idea that we should have a family cookbook. When she floated the idea (which never got off the ground), she commented that we probably didn’t need a recipe for Grandma’s mush.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

The “base” is ground meat, breadcrumbs, and spices. Sometimes an egg depending on how well it sticks together. Sometimes I add diced bell pepper and onion. You can add a squirt of ketchup or barbeque sauce, or a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce. Bacon on top is delightful too.

Some people will top with a sauce or cheese to bake. 350 or 375 (even 400 for a smaller loaf) for 45 minutes to an hour.

We don’t make it often because even ground meat can be really expensive these days, but it’s very easy and tends to hold up well. I go by look and feel of the mixture, but it’s not always the same and it still turns out good.

Someone should start a thread about meatloaf and mashed potatoes. They are just vehicles for whatever the cook wants to flavor them with.

The meatloaf I make is based on a recipe from 1940 in a cookbook called Old time Farmhouse cooking by Barbara Swell. No ketchup … yuck. But it calls for half pound sausage and a pound of ground beef - with some other stuff too. It takes 90 minutes to cook!

Don’t let me get started on mashed potatoes…

 

[mommy_k]

Oh yeah, someone asked for meatloaf recipes the other day, and I was baffled that such a thing would even exist. I never make mine the same way.

Yes. Same with meatballs.

Even a pie crust is hard to do with a recipe…you have to know texture.

 

[MrsAngelala]

I believe that good things are given to us to share. This includes recipes.

We really only only have one family recipe in my family, and yes, it would be difficult to pass on. My Nana tried to write it down when my mother got married; she wound up with about twenty batches of not-quite-right spaghetti and meatballs in her freezer, and a recipe that we only follow so far as the ingredient list. The proportions are completely wrong! Fortunately, I made it for Nana once before she died, and got her seal of approval.

I don’t think we gain by hoarding and protecting the good things God has given us. Sharing recipes with others doesn’t mean we can’t share them with our kids, it just means there’s less yumminess for the rest of the world. Why would that be a good thing? Plus, the recipes will change within other families; they’ll be tweaked for personal tastes until they’re not really “ours” anymore anyway.

If what you’re saying is that you don’t want to go to the effort to write it down in precise detail, I get that (see above!), and just don’t do it. Give a quick verbal outline. If the cooks actually want to make it, they can ask you for more detail, and maybe you find yourself in a situation where you teach them how to cook it. What a great way to share the particularity of your family with another. If, on the other hand, the cooks are just curious, they won’t for detail and you’ve only lost a couple of minutes.

 

[Beryllos]

My meatloaf is quite variable too. I like to put finely shredded carrots in it, sometimes as much carrot as meat, plus quick-cooking oatmeal, so calling it “meat” loaf may be a slight exaggeration.

Guarding family recipes like heirlooms may be excessive. What is lost if you share?

 

[Bonnie]

What is lost if you share?

Nothing! No 2 people will follow a recipe in exactly the same way. There is always some variation - in the equipment used or in the way the cook measures or mixes things. I remember giving my mother’s recipe for baking powder biscuits to a friend. She said they never came out like mine - which she liked better. I suspected she mixed the dough too much, but it’s hard to come up with a better instruction than “mix with a fork or pastry cutter until the dough just holds together.” People will interpret “just holds together” in different ways.

 

[CradleJourney]

The “base” is ground meat, breadcrumbs, and spices. Sometimes an egg depending on how well it sticks together. Sometimes I add diced bell pepper and onion. You can add a squirt of ketchup or barbeque sauce, or a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce. Bacon on top is delightful too.

Some people will top with a sauce or cheese to bake. 350 or 375 (even 400 for a smaller loaf) for 45 minutes to an hour.

We don’t make it often because even ground meat can be really expensive these days, but it’s very easy and tends to hold up well. I go by look and feel of the mixture, but it’s not always the same and it still turns out good.

I found that another option is tossing in a jar of pureed vegetable baby food (or pureeing some veggies and tossing them in) - kids never noticed and I figured it was/is an easy way to add a touch more nutrients to the dish

 

[AClaire11]

I believe that good things are given to us to share. This includes recipes.

We really only only have one family recipe in my family, and yes, it would be difficult to pass on. My Nana tried to write it down when my mother got married; she wound up with about twenty batches of not-quite-right spaghetti and meatballs in her freezer, and a recipe that we only follow so far as the ingredient list. The proportions are completely wrong! Fortunately, I made it for Nana once before she died, and got her seal of approval.

I don’t think we gain by hoarding and protecting the good things God has given us. Sharing recipes with others doesn’t mean we can’t share them with our kids, it just means there’s less yumminess for the rest of the world. Why would that be a good thing? Plus, the recipes will change within other families; they’ll be tweaked for personal tastes until they’re not really “ours” anymore anyway.

If what you’re saying is that you don’t want to go to the effort to write it down in precise detail, I get that (see above!), and just don’t do it. Give a quick verbal outline. If the cooks actually want to make it, they can ask you for more detail, and maybe you find yourself in a situation where you teach them how to cook it. What a great way to share the particularity of your family with another. If, on the other hand, the cooks are just curious, they won’t for detail and you’ve only lost a couple of minutes.

Exactly. I cook and bake for others to spread joy. It doesn’t hurt to give a friend the cobbler recipe I improved on.

 

[Rau]

What’s your philosophy on sharing family recipes?

Personally, I don’t. If I found something online or in a cookbook, that’s one thing. But giving out the recipes for the things passed down from at least my great grandma to me? Nope. I learned how to make these things directly from my family, not by reading a recipe. I don’t think they could be accurately translated into writing, nor am I particularly inclined to teach others how to replicate my family’s food. I really look forward to passing food traditions onto my kids and grandkids the same way I learned.

But, in the age of Pinterest, people think I’m crazy when they ask for my chicken and noodles recipe and I say ‘no’. Your experiences?

You don’t make clear what drives the desire to keep the secret? Is there a privacy concern? A commercial interest to protect? Or is this a kind of elitism? Some things are not for sharing, but I’m not sure why a recipe (if it’s a good one) is one of them.

 

[boomerang]

My aunt made the most delicious fig-filled cookies. Several times I asked her for the recipe, but she would hem and haw and make excuses for not giving it to me. No one could get that recipe out of her. Well, one day the inevitable happened and she died. Now no one has the recipe. What a waste. I don’t understand the obsession with hoarding recipes. It is unnecessarily selfish to me and serves no purpose. Let’s face it, food is happiness. Why not spread the happiness around?

 

[BlueEyedLady]

You don’t make clear what drives the desire to keep the secret? Is there a privacy concern? A commercial interest to protect? Or is this a kind of elitism? Some things are not for sharing, but I’m not sure why a recipe (if it’s a good one) is one of them.

I have to admit, I laughed a little at ‘elitism’. The idea that not giving out my rural, Midwestern family recipes to my upper middle class friends in a major city on a coast could be elitist is a little…validating? Like, now who holds the power? That’s right, the country bumpkin!

I also want to clarify that this isn’t some sort of grand moral statement. The issue of family recipes is not only something reasonable people can disagree on, it’s an issue where I’m not sure there’s even a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. I’m not looking to have my reasons determined to be ‘valid’ or not, just curious about how others feel and how they approach it.

But to answer your question, it’s more a matter of heritage and sentimentality. For what it’s worth, I couldn’t imagine asking someone else for a recipe either because I’ve seen how uncomfortable it makes people (and me) who really would like to keep it in the family. I may ask “Where did you learn to make this?” and if the answer is Pinterest or a video on Facebook, I’ll ask for the recipe (and I readily give them too). But I just can’t bring myself to ask for someone’s grandma’s stew or whatnot. It just feels like a personal question.

Someone else mentioned ‘guarding them like heirlooms’. I really like that comparison, because that’s really what it is to me. No one cooks like the women in my family - and now that I’m so far removed from where I grew up and learned to cook, that’s even more true. I have my grandma’s Bible, an Afghan she made for me, and a lifetime of recipes and techniques that I learned over the years at her and my mom’s sides. Because we were so poor, we really didn’t have a lot of tangible heirlooms to start with, and what few we did have were stolen by someone who knew she was in the hospital a few weeks before she died, broke into her home, and emptied out her valuables. She never knew that though, which is a blessing.

I’m happy to cook whatever, whenever, and for whoever. But even if I could put in words how to make this stuff, I don’t think I could bring myself to do it.