Giving Parents Money

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Timothy524

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My parents are enduring some tuff times right now. My Mom’s hours were reduced to part-time hours. And my Dad has been dealing with stage 4 prostrate cancer. He still works, but will be starting Kemo treatments which may prevent him from working. I want to give them some extra money, but I know they are equally as worried about me as I am of them. I was thinking about sneaking money into my Mom’s purse when she is not looking. I look at this in two lights…they don’t feel bad that I am giving them money…and my left hand does not know what the right hand is doing, because my act is being done in secret (as suggest my Jesus in Matthew). Does anyone have any suggestions as to why I should do it any other way before I start handling things in this manner?
 
She’ll know. I always know how much money is in my purse. If extra $20s started showing up I would know it. It would either cause annoyance or result in your mom trying to sneak it back into your wallet.

Don’t play games.

Is there a reason to be worried about you and your finances? If not, tell them so and make the gift outright.
 
I don’t make much money. I am a teacher’s aide and still live at home. I pay rent, but still I’d like to contribute more. With how much stress my family is under, I’m not sure if they’d notice me sneaking money into her pursue. Maybe over time they would know though. Not sure.
 
Go food shopping. Don’t ask, just do it. Buy some things you know will be used. Pick up dinner and tell your mom not to make dinner that night, it’s on you. It will help out your parents and you will be contributing without handing money over.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Go food shopping. Don’t ask, just do it. Buy some things you know will be used. Pick up dinner and tell your mom not to make dinner that night, it’s on you. It will help out your parents and you will be contributing without handing money over.
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Yes, this. Fill up the gas tank on the car, buy groceries, and those types of things.
 
I’ll add to this…

Nothing speaks volumes about your love and concern for them more then actively helping them around the house.

Even if you do help out…figure out ways to do more.

Don’t just buy groceries…cook dinner!

Drive dad to his doctor’s appointments and sit with him during his chemo. Or get things done around the house so mom can go with dad to his appointments and not feel overwhelmed when they get home.

When I had my first child…I was totally overwhelmed when I got home. My MIL came over and helped us in such a big way.

Not only did she go out to pick up my prescriptions but she grabbed milk, bread, lunch meat…anything that was quick, easy and nutritious for us.

Then she helped organize all of the baby stuff in my house and took the baby so I could nap and shower.

That is exactly what being helpful is. It’s picking up the slack. Being discreet about filling their gas tank, picking up groceries and cleaning up around the house is far more welcoming and satisfying then trying to sneak extra cash into their wallets or purse.
 
Thank you so much for all the advice guys. I have been doing things here and there around the house, but sometimes my Dad tells me “You don’t have to do that or I would have done that.” I think both of my parents are concerned about me and they want to see me get on my feet. It’s been hard for me to do so because I get so worried about them and they are not into praying together as a family…something I desperately wish they would do because my Father’s health is affecting us all emotionally. I did buy them dinner yesterday which I think was an awesome idea because they were both warn out with a project my Mom was working on and with me helping my Dad with my taxes. Again, thank you for everyone’s advice.
 
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