Giving Up Homosexuality

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stacybks

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Well… I’ve set foot into the battlefield with the devil…

I’ve made a strong decision that I refuse to live the homosexual lifestyle and to do my best not to fall to temptation and to fight temptation with as much of the sacramentals and prayers that I can.

Since I grew up in a Pentecostal family where sex is a taboo topic, I was never allowed to ask or talk about this issue, especially the homosexuality one.

Before I continue, parents, please don’t make the same mistake mine did by never talking about it and not giving me teachings on the “Bible” except those that talk about punishment of sins without informing them of God’s love and His ability to help us through it. I love my parents and would never do anything to hurt them, and I realize they just wanted the best for me and that was their upbringing. But it’s always great to confide in your parents and know they will love you regardless.

I know that heterosexuals battle the same battle of sexual temptations as homosexuals… but sometimes I feel that heterosexuals have it easier because at least their attracted to the opposite sex and can be married in the Church whereas I do not find the opposite gender sexually attractive (no offense women, but you are beautiful) and it makes me feel like I’ll never be able to have a family, which I truly want.

So where should I go from here? Please pray because I truly want Jesus to be the only man I love deeply and to look at other men as God’s creations and not a sexual idol.
 
Persevere in chastity to the very end, if you’re not attracted to women. If being good was easy, we’d have Heaven on Earth already. While it might seem hard, if this is the only major trial God sends you, I think it would be fair to say you’re lucky.

Whenever I feel hard done by, I think of people in the local hospital. There’s always someone a lot worse off than you.
 
Layman said:
Persevere in chastity to the very end, if you’re not attracted to women. If being good was easy, we’d have Heaven on Earth already. While it might seem hard, if this is the only major trial God sends you, I think it would be fair to say you’re lucky.

Whenever I feel hard done by, I think of people in the local hospital. There’s always someone a lot worse off than you.
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True.

What if I want to change and be able to be attracted to women? It seems that changing my sexuality is impossible although I know with God it isn’t.
 
First off, Congratulations and good for you for making the choices you are making. It’s wonderful to hear that you are embracing Jesus and walking away from your temptations. As Layman said, do your best to perservere. We do not know what the future holds…if it is a vocation to be single, you’ll hear that calling. It may be that you are called to married life, but haven’t met your soulmate yet. All that we can do is take it one day at a time. I wish you the best.
 
Father Benedict Groeschel did a program on EWTN’s “Sunday Night with Fr Groeschel” about a group that helps men with the same issue and claims to have success in changing a person’s sexual preferences.I’m not really sure what they do but it may be something to look into.

God bless
 
I remember reading the impulse to homosexual behaviour is quite deep rooted, compared to other sins. However, if you can imagine the reaction of the child that you were to such acts, I’d guess you’d have a good idea how Heaven feels: appalled.

Heterosexual sex is kinda gross, but it does have a wonderful result: a living child. (By gross, I mean the reaction of someone without sexual hormones.)

Homosexual sexual is dirty, and goes to nothing. It is a blasphemous use of our God-given power of generation. It is Satanic.

So, from a Catholic perspective, one must abstain.

**As to how to feel attracted to a woman? **That’s a tough one. Sex is kind of a beautiful illusion; if you don’t have the hormones and the equipment, you don’t feel it, I think. Unlike the way every living human needs food and water.

Lets just say that, in terms of pleasure, a woman’s body is set up far better to give extreme pleasure to a man, and vice-versa, than one’s own gender. 😉
 
couragerc.net/

This is a very helpful website. It may not help you feel attracted to women, but there are many former men/women who did change. There are also men/women who have chosen a chaste life (as all non-married folk should do). It will give you moral support.
 
I was thinking about your post and wanted to recommend keeping Saint Paul in mind (it’s the Year of St. Paul). One day he’s going around persecuting Christians, the next he’s a missionary for Christ, consistently facing martyrdom while spreading the Good News. All things are possible with God.

(Wanted to imply that God can take any situation and bless a person with more good things than he/she can imagine. Be open to God’s will and you will be fine.)
 
als10062008 said:
(Wanted to imply that God can take any situation and bless a person with more good things than he/she can imagine. Be open to God’s will and you will be fine.)
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Thanks… It’s always good to be reminded of that…
Layman said:
Lets just say that, in terms of pleasure, a woman’s body is set up far better to give extreme pleasure to a man, and vice-versa, than one’s own gender. 😉
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First of all I agree with the first part of your post… Sex is gross unless it is after marriage, when it’s considered beautiful. (Yes, I’m even referring to homosexual sex as well.)

As for the quoted part… I’ve never had a male figure to talk to this stuff about that shared the same faith and that would be open to even say what you said.

As for women, I find it much easier to be romantic with them than men (I have had girlfriends) and enjoy their company more…

However, at this point in my life I’m just focused on living the best I can for God and getting through college. LOL
 
God bless you on your journey. There are many on CAF who are walking the same path. If you do a search on the topic, you will be overwhelmed by the number of threads.

I found Fr. Groeschel’s little book “The Courage to Be Chaste” very helpful. It’s not directly aimed at homosexuals, but does include one very powerful chapter specifically for those who struggle with SSA.

You are in my prayers.
 
There is a statistic that was presented to me in a Catholic Theology class: it was that people who have been sexually abused are 8 times more likely to have homosexual tendencies.

I told this statistic to a friend, who said she had many “homosexual” friends and she said, “wow, all of them I know have been sexually abused”. I am not trying to downplay people with homosexual struggles. I believe they are real whether sexual abuse was involved or not.

Counselling is available and it is really important to deal with any traumatic events in your life (whether you have homosexual tendencies or not).

Also the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, all psychologists’ diagnosis tool) no longer has homosexuality in it, but it does have “persistent and marked distress about one’s sexual orientation” This is just fyi and if you can find a more conservative counsellor (many are quite liberal in this area) there is help available.

My prayers are with you. I have also heard very great things about the Courage group mentioned earlier.
 
Best of luck, Brian: don’t expect the hetros-- ANY hetros-- to have any concept of the difficulty of the road you walk. Simply isn’t possible.

Read an interesting insight the other day: Liberals beleive the Homo can’t change, but the Pedo can: How silly is that?

My advice would be to keep yourself as far from temptation as possible, and pray for strength. I hope you recover to the point you can ‘switch teams’, but don’t worry about that just yet: priority one is getting through the day with nothing to be ashamed of.
 
Respect_GOD said:
I told this statistic to a friend, who said she had many “homosexual” friends and she said, “wow, all of them I know have been sexually abused”. I am not trying to downplay people with homosexual struggles. I believe they are real whether sexual abuse was involved or not.
I’m gay, and I had a great upbringing with loving parents and five great siblings. We were middle-class and I attended Catholic schools. I was never abused.
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Sam_Maloney said:
Read an interesting insight the other day: Liberals beleive the Homo can’t change, but the Pedo can: How silly is that?
Also, “Liberals” I know have no misconceptions about the way sexual urges are deep-rooted. “Pedos” cannot change who they are attracted to, but can choose to fight those urges, especially since what they do is illegal (and what I do is not, since it involves mutual consent among adult parties.)
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BK, congratulations on your decision. That takes courage and strength. I’ll pray for you to get all the strength and help you need, and for you to find a way to have spiritual children, if you are unable to have children of your body.

With love,

Ruthie
 
stacy–I just want to commend you on your steadfast desire to overcome your personal sin, your connection to homosexuality. I will keep you in my prayers. I have no advice, really, but just wanted you to know that I think you are very brave for posting your decision, and I pray that you will always be open to God’s graces to help you persevere. God bless.
 
This morning I went to Mass with a professor from the school.

I went up with arms crossed (I can’t take communion since I’m not yet Catholic) and father gave me a blessing.

I felt peaceful and know that everything is now in God’s hands.

Thanks everyone for encouraging me.
 
BK,

My prayers are with you. I agree with your statement concerning the struggles that we all have. Likewise, you are right about things being more difficult for those with same sex attraction.

Please note that we all bear a different cross in life. If one man has a significantly higher libido than another, then it will be more difficult for the first to lead a chaste life then the second man. Likewise, those with SSA have a heavier and unique cross to bear in life.

The greater glory to God comes by way of the man that overcomes his heavy cross. God’s grace is there for you, and it is already apparent that He is working in you for both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

As you struggle in carrying your cross do seek help. Your body speaks to your being a man. Men and women find their natural fulfillment in one another. I believe that through prayer, time, and counseling you may very well overcome SSA. It may take a lot of time, a lot of prayer, and a lot of counseling, but do not give up. You are one of God’s children and your Father in heaven is loving and merciful.

I am honored to have read your posts. You are a great witness to loving God and carrying your cross along with Jesus.

God bless you. You are in my prayers.
 
stacybks said:
This morning I went to Mass with a professor from the school.

I went up with arms crossed (I can’t take communion since I’m not yet Catholic) and father gave me a blessing.

I felt peaceful and know that everything is now in God’s hands.

Thanks everyone for encouraging me.
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That’s great, stacy. With God all things are possible. I believe that we are called by God to live chaste lives, whether we are married, not married…or drawn to members of the opposite sex. In chastity, we are our fullest selves really, and no better examples for us than St Joseph, and our Blessed Virgin Mary.

We are in great company, following those who went before us, so virtuous, and pure. Stay strong, and I will keep you in my prayers.

(Please keep me in yours too…thanks) :angel1:
 
Pax said:
BK,

snippity snip snip

I am honored to have read your posts. You are a great witness to loving God and carrying your cross along with Jesus.

God bless you. You are in my prayers.
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As you and whatevergirl are in mine…

Benedicite Deus!
 
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