giving up

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apesc09

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It has been a roller coaster ride for me with both personal relationship with my family and now spouse. Tried many times to save my marriage. However this long distance relationship is killing it with our continuous miscommunication. Worst part was, my recent spouse’s attempt to end his life is really disturbing. We are at the point of giving up on each other, with him his siblings one has remarried and while the other is separated. I’m not sure if he is trying to follow their pattern or break it. I’ve prayed to all the saints, Mama Mary last night and to God help me on this battle of where I’ve just given up. I tried not to entertain the thought of ending my life too since a family member passed away from that cause. I knew the pain of losing that family member was unbearable, what more to find out my spouse’s attempt to end his. It seem hard for him to stay focused on positive things and to learn to practice the virtue of forgiveness. I forgave him with his past faults but over minor things I’ve done, he can’t bypass it. We are both aware it is a sin to file for divorce for only God can only take us apart and by death only. With how my life has been going… I just sometimes wished I would die on my sleep. I have a very difficult Mother who I seem not to matter to her. I find it odd she is happy when my life is miserable. If she finds out this rocky marriage I am in, Not only her would be rejoicing but also my siblings. It is weird that my family has no support for me that at some point I did believe my family is dysfunctional and in denial. Unfortunately I am a root of this family. I feel like a lost sheep now and just waiting for that day when God takes me without me putting my life in my hands. I am tired, so drained. Please help me and pray for me, my marriage and my family.
 
Only thing you can do is just let everything fall into place, your marriage is over, people around you will fall, all you can do is move on and start a new chapter. God bless my child.
 
It takes two to make a marriage work. Plus, you may want to consider grief counseling. Life can be very difficult at times. I’ve had my struggles, but I won’t compare them with yours. What I’ve been through has some similarities to what your going through (bad marriage), but also many differences. Please know that I’ll be praying for you. And if you need to talk more about this, you can always PM me. Or just post here and let others support you as well.
 
apesc09 said:
It has been a roller coaster ride for me with both personal relationship with my family and now spouse. Tried many times to save my marriage. However this long distance relationship is killing it with our continuous miscommunication. Worst part was, my recent spouse’s attempt to end his life is really disturbing. We are at the point of giving up on each other, with him his siblings one has remarried and while the other is separated. I’m not sure if he is trying to follow their pattern or break it. I’ve prayed to all the saints, Mama Mary last night and to God help me on this battle of where I’ve just given up. I tried not to entertain the thought of ending my life too since a family member passed away from that cause. I knew the pain of losing that family member was unbearable, what more to find out my spouse’s attempt to end his. It seem hard for him to stay focused on positive things and to learn to practice the virtue of forgiveness. I forgave him with his past faults but over minor things I’ve done, he can’t bypass it. We are both aware it is a sin to file for divorce for only God can only take us apart and by death only. With how my life has been going… I just sometimes wished I would die on my sleep. I have a very difficult Mother who I seem not to matter to her. I find it odd she is happy when my life is miserable. If she finds out this rocky marriage I am in, Not only her would be rejoicing but also my siblings. It is weird that my family has no support for me that at some point I did believe my family is dysfunctional and in denial. Unfortunately I am a root of this family. I feel like a lost sheep now and just waiting for that day when God takes me without me putting my life in my hands. I am tired, so drained. Please help me and pray for me, my marriage and my family.
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Praying for your intentions.
 
I seriously recommend that you and your spouse see an experienced priest about this, if you haven’t already. Also, if you haven’t been praying with him, now is the perfect time to start!

St. Faustina went through a greatly dark period in her religious life, and she was often deliberately humiliated and scorned by her fellow sisters and superiors, who were supposed to be her family. Always trust in Jesus’ Divine Mercy, and don’t ever give in to the temptation of despair. Make a daily act of consecration to His most Sacred Heart, and remember the great suffering that He has undergone for our redemption. Offer all your sufferings to Him, for the salvation of souls!
I have witnessed great resentment between certain members of my own family, to the point of utter absurdity; so, I sympathise with you.

Try to frequent confession with your spouse, receive the Eucharist with him at Mass, and pray with him.

It would be highly beneficial for you to seek spiritual direction from a priest, as the internet can only give so much advice, and cannot fully understand your situation.

You are in my prayers.

Shalom
 
apesc09 said:
It has been a roller coaster ride for me with both personal relationship with my family and now spouse. Tried many times to save my marriage. However this long distance relationship is killing it with our continuous miscommunication. Worst part was, my recent spouse’s attempt to end his life is really disturbing. We are at the point of giving up on each other, with him his siblings one has remarried and while the other is separated. I’m not sure if he is trying to follow their pattern or break it. I’ve prayed to all the saints, Mama Mary last night and to God help me on this battle of where I’ve just given up. I tried not to entertain the thought of ending my life too since a family member passed away from that cause. I knew the pain of losing that family member was unbearable, what more to find out my spouse’s attempt to end his. It seem hard for him to stay focused on positive things and to learn to practice the virtue of forgiveness. I forgave him with his past faults but over minor things I’ve done, he can’t bypass it. We are both aware it is a sin to file for divorce for only God can only take us apart and by death only. With how my life has been going… I just sometimes wished I would die on my sleep. I have a very difficult Mother who I seem not to matter to her. I find it odd she is happy when my life is miserable. If she finds out this rocky marriage I am in, Not only her would be rejoicing but also my siblings. It is weird that my family has no support for me that at some point I did believe my family is dysfunctional and in denial. Unfortunately I am a root of this family. I feel like a lost sheep now and just waiting for that day when God takes me without me putting my life in my hands. I am tired, so drained. Please help me and pray for me, my marriage and my family.
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your post invites more questions and there are a number of things missing from like how long have you been married and why is this a long distance relationship? with both of you in depression to the point of wishing death on your part and suicide attempt on his, you both need to be together to work this out and both need to be seeing someone about the depression and suicide attempts and marriage counseling to put it back together. Strangers over the internet can pray for you which I think everyone that reads and posts on this thread will and are doing but to help you both, you need to get together to put it together and for what ever reasons you are living apart and away from each other need to stop in order to move forward.
 
Read some good advice here. Hope some of it helps you. In the meantime, I’m praying for you and your husband and family…

Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
***Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death
Amen.

:crossrc:***
 
Google “Catholic therapists” and please get some council. Do not be embarrassed to seek help as this is the step to healing. God desires your health and is on the side of health and healing- Never is He on the side of hopelessness and despair. If you can’t find a close therapist find a good priest to visit with or who can suggest someone to see. Never, never give up as this is precisely what the enemy of your soul wishes, not your most merciful and loving Lord who waits for you to run to him as a child into His arms of acceptance and Love!
A big hug and prayer,
mlz
 
** Blessed Mother, please intercede for us.
Hold the sorrowful, strengthen the fearful,
mother and love the weary, abused, neglected
or forgotten among us,
give your aid to all needing help or healing,
assist those who are sick, in pain or suffering,
be with those needing peace,
console the lonely or brokenhearted,
comfort the lost or hopeless,
guard the unborn,
pray for those who are dying or who have died,
soften those with hardened hearts,
enlighten those who do not yet see truth,
help us be brave enough to let our hurt and anger go,
show us the way to do the right thing,
protect those who are in danger,
and guide us from every evil.
May all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen :gopray:**
 
Sounds very similar to a situation I was in several years ago, but I was unwilling to accept God’s grace at that time in my life. You know the answer to your own questions. The Holy Spirit has given you the answers. Just stop and listen to Him with a spirit of obedience. God will tell you what to do. In the meantime, listen to the advice that the other posters have given you. Most of it is very sound advice; talk to your priest, seek counseling, and keep praying. In addition, maybe you could try reading something from St John of the Cross- “Dark Night Of the Soul”. That may help to explain a few things. God be with you, and may His graces fall upon you like rain. :signofcross:
 
Though not married myself, I do believe that for a marriage to work both have to work on it. If only one is trying and the other is continuing on with behavior that not good for a marriage, then maybe it is time to move on. It sounds like both of you have some issues related to depression and coping, and that the demands of marriage may be harder on you as a result.

Not knowing your total situation I can only suggest that you do what you think is necessary. Do remember that what the rest of family thinks is not the only thing in determining what you do. They can be wrong, and if they don’t seem helpful stop looking there for support.

If you really think there are issues of dysfunction and you have been suicidal I suspect the most important thing to do right now is deal with those issues. In that case a “temporary” separation may be what you and your husband need. That means taking a total break from each other, and with his understanding that he needs help too. I am not sure, but it is an idea.

It could be, that if there was anything in both of your lives (past-prior to marriage) that could have contributed to the marriage never being valid, you could get an annulment. Share these issues with your Pastor or well trusted confessor and counselor. Too many times people do bring issues of abuse, violence, drinking, into marriage that really should have been indicators that getting married was not a good idea.

Try moving forward with the goal being that of healing you and taking responsibility for you. Let others do the same on their own time and through their own methods. You might be surprised how you taking such a step will help them, versus the idea that you should stick around and follow like a parrot.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
Hi apesc09,
The important thing right now is to know
that YOU ARE NOT alone, many times
people do things in a hurry w/o thinking of
the consequences! Truth is, you are part of
the Worldwide Body of Christ, and what you
do or do not do has impact into ETERNITY.

I don’t want to burden you with guilt, but how
will it affect those you CARE ABOUT, those who
YOU ARE FIGHTING FOR? If you find it hard to
do the right thing, DO IT FOR THEM!
Just some thot’s that come to mind, dear.

Prayers said,
GLam
 
I pray that you will immediately seek out medical and spiritual treatment for your suicidal thoughts.

+++++++

Prayer of St. Dymphna

Lord, our God, you graciously chose St. Dymphna as patroness of those afflicted with mental, emotional, and nervous disorders. She is thus an inspiration and a symbol of charity to the thousands who ask her intercession.

Please grant, Lord, through the prayers of this pure youthful martyr, relief and consolation to all suffering such trials, and especially for apesc09.

We beg you, Lord, to hear the prayers of St. Dymphna on her behalf. Grant all those for whom we pray patience in their sufferings and resignation to your divine will.

Please fill them with hope, and grant them the relief and cure they so desire.
We ask this through Christ our Lord who suffered agony in the garden. Amen.

:signofcross:
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
Blessed Mother, please intercede for us.
Hold the sorrowful, strengthen the fearful,
mother and love the weary, abused, neglected
or forgotten among us,
give your aid to all needing help or healing,
assist those who are sick, in pain or suffering,
be with those needing peace,
console the lonely or brokenhearted,
comfort the lost or hopeless,
guard the unborn,
pray for those who are dying or who have died,
soften those with hardened hearts,
enlighten those who do not yet see truth,
help us be brave enough to let our hurt and anger go,
show us the way to do the right thing,
protect those who are in danger,
and guide us from every evil.
May all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen :gopray:
 
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