Glad Someone Died?

[Lost_Sheep]

I found out recently that a former supervisor from several jobs ago died in a car accident.

I never liked the guy, and he certainly didn’t like me. We never got along and he really made my work life miserable.

Now mind you, I never wished any ill fate upon him, and my sympathies go out to his family. Yet I have this “guilty pleasure” that the guy is gone from this earth and I feel that I have finally “triumphed” over him.

Thoughts?

 

[kentuckyliz]

Forgive and let go.

I had to do that at a former supervisor’s visitation…who had tried to deflect an investigation of her embezzlement by accusing me.

That was years ago. I forgave her and let go.

Be a person of mercy.

What if your unforgiveness condemns that guy to hell?
Whatever you bind on earth is bound in heaven.

What if your unforgiveness condemns you to hell?
Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, Mt 18:21-35

I have known people who were glad when someone died–an abusive spouse or parent, or a bully. They have the same task.

Your peace will be deeper once you forgive and let go.

 

[cheezey]

Forgive and let go.

I forgave her and let go.

Be a person of mercy.

What if your unforgiveness condemns that guy to hell?
Whatever you bind on earth is bound in heaven.

What if your unforgiveness condemns you to hell?
Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, Mt 18:21-35

Your peace will be deeper once you forgive and let go.

True.
I pray for one particular person, in a specific way, who is particularly ‘bad’, professionally and personally. His death would sadden me greatly, as I love him as I should, and I love him dearly. There’s a good man in there somewhere, but far, far away from me. Perhaps in a galaxy, far, far away…

 

[Della]

I found out recently that a former supervisor from several jobs ago died in a car accident.

I never liked the guy, and he certainly didn’t like me. We never got along and he really made my work life miserable.

Now mind you, I never wished any ill fate upon him, and my sympathies go out to his family. Yet I have this “guilty pleasure” that the guy is gone from this earth and I feel that I have finally “triumphed” over him.

Thoughts?

Feelings are not sins, but they are indicators of how we view others. I think you are feeling relief that no one else will have to put up with this man’s behavior, and that’s natural, but you need to forgive him in your heart and pray for the repose of his soul, just the same. Since you haven’t had to work with him for a long time it’s not really any sort of triumph that he died. That you feel that way says you never let go of your dislike for him. You have to do so now because he will continue to have a negative influence in your life until you die, and that will certainly give him the last laugh.

 

[GEddie]

Someone won’t go to Hell because of another human being’s unforgiveness.

Well, maybe Hell, Michigan

Still, your forgiveness may be what is needed to redeem their Purgatory.

ICXC NIKA

 

[cheezey]

Feelings are not sins, but they are indicators of how we view others. I think you are feeling relief that no one else will have to put up with this man’s behavior, and that’s natural, but you need to forgive him in your heart and pray for the repose of his soul, just the same. Since you haven’t had to work with him for a long time it’s not really any sort of triumph that he died. That you feel that way says you never let go of your dislike for him. You have to do so now because he will continue to have a negative influence in your life until you die, and that will certainly give him the last laugh.

Excellent

 

[RoseMary131]

I found out recently that a former supervisor from several jobs ago died in a car accident.

I never liked the guy, and he certainly didn’t like me. We never got along and he really made my work life miserable.

Now mind you, I never wished any ill fate upon him, and my sympathies go out to his family. Yet I have this “guilty pleasure” that the guy is gone from this earth and I feel that I have finally “triumphed” over him.

Thoughts?

Hello Lost Sheep,

I think you are not “glad he died”. You said your sympathies go out to his family which means you have concern for those who loved him despite the fact you and he did not like each other. You said you never wished any ill fate upon him which means you did not have a desire for him to suffer in any form.

I think what you are feeling is not “triumph” over him - but that you will not be dealing with him any more. He “moved” far, far away. He left “the neighborhood” and you get to stay in “the neighborhood” in peace without him.

In reality, you know he died in an accident. The pleasure is most likely that you don’t have to meet up with him again. The guilt is that you realize he didn’t simply move from “the neighborhood”, he died a sad death. Your conflict shows you do not really feel triumphant.

It is probably helpful to you that you recognize this conflict within you. I think it shows you have a natural care for this man even though you did not like him.

Even though he was someone you did not like, you can have a Mass offered for his soul - as a gift to him and his family - a gift that will help his soul. You can do so with or without having a Mass card sent to his family. You could have a Mass card sent with or without your name.

I think you are a very honest man with yourself - able to see the different emotions you feel at once.

May the soul of this man rest in peace. May you have peace as you sort through your emotions.

 

[englishredrose]

I found out recently that a former supervisor from several jobs ago died in a car accident.

I never liked the guy, and he certainly didn’t like me. We never got along and he really made my work life miserable.

Now mind you, I never wished any ill fate upon him, and my sympathies go out to his family. Yet I have this “guilty pleasure” that the guy is gone from this earth and I feel that I have finally “triumphed” over him.

Thoughts?

Been in a similar position in that i had what termed a personality clash where i volunteered with new manager. I had long left the organisation. She got killed in the 2004/5 Suarmy(i should be able to spell it but can’t:blush and was happen to be talking about it to someone once and they said, ‘you didn’t wish her harm’… no. Then nothing done wrong then. I didn’t kill her, it was just very bad fate for her. I have moved on comfortably from that

 

[JRKH]

I found out recently that a former supervisor from several jobs ago died in a car accident.

I never liked the guy, and he certainly didn’t like me. We never got along and he really made my work life miserable.

Now mind you, I never wished any ill fate upon him, and my sympathies go out to his family. Yet I have this “guilty pleasure” that the guy is gone from this earth and I feel that I have finally “triumphed” over him.

Thoughts?

My advice is that if you cannot let go of this and especially if you continue to have pleasure over this - that you go to confession.
While this is not formally a “Mortal sin”…It is (in my opinion) a serious venial sin. It is a serious violation of the law of love.

The Catechism says this about Venial sin…
*1862 One commits venial sin when, in a less serious matter, he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law, or when he disobeys the moral law in a grave matter, but without full knowledge or without complete consent. *
The foundation of moral law is “Love” (Mt 22:36-40) - so as I say - if you cannot shake this “guilty pleasure” my advice is that you take it to confession

Peace
James

 

[mab23]

pray for the repose of their soul

 

[peace2u2]

I found out recently that a former supervisor from several jobs ago died in a car accident.

I never liked the guy, and he certainly didn’t like me. We never got along and he really made my work life miserable.

Now mind you, I never wished any ill fate upon him, and my sympathies go out to his family. Yet I have this “guilty pleasure” that the guy is gone from this earth and I feel that I have finally “triumphed” over him.

Thoughts?

The devil delights when we behave this way. I am also guilty of behaving this way in the past and when it creeps into my thoughts now, I immediately tell it to leave and I pray a Hail Mary for that person that I was having ill-conceived thoughts for.

Jesus asks us to love our enemies. He is not asking us to love our enemies in the same way that we love our spouse or our children or our parents, but nonetheless, we should be praying for our enemies to be led by the Holy Spirit to repentance and conversion. This is the only way sin and suffering and evil in this world can be overcome and conquered - not by returning hate with hate but offering God’s mercy and forgiveness.

This works amazing: When I encounter someone that I really don’t care for, I ask God to show me the person that He created them to be, not the person that is presenting to me right that moment and I ask God to give me His love for this person. Try it sometime - It really works! God delights in giving us such good gifts - and all for His Glory!

Praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet can help a person experience God’s amazing mercy and compassion, even the most hardened heart. Trust in Jesus! With God all things are possible!

Peace 2U

 

[ChibiViolet]

If you can’t help the feeling than it isn’t sinful. Try not to dwell on it too much and perhaps pray for the person’s soul.

 

[Lost_Sheep]

Thank you.
People say “Forgive and forget” but I have trouble forgiving and I sure as heck don’t ever forget. I can’t bring myself to pray for his soul, either. I don’t think my forgiveness of lack thereof has any influence on the disposition of his soul, but if it did I’d be tempted to leave him there a while.

My sympathies go out to his family because I have nothing against them and I know they certainly loved him even if I don’t.

Confession probably won’t help. First, my feelings aren’t necessarily a sin, and even if they were, I’d have a hard time actually being sorry for it ergo rendering the confession invalid.

Put it this way: The quote “I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.” is incorrectly attributed to Mark Twain, but still it pretty much sums up how I feel.

 

[JRKH]

Thank you.
People say “Forgive and forget” but I have trouble forgiving and I sure as heck don’t ever forget. I can’t bring myself to pray for his soul, either. I don’t think my forgiveness of lack thereof has any influence on the disposition of his soul, but if it did I’d be tempted to leave him there a while.

My sympathies go out to his family because I have nothing against them and I know they certainly loved him even if I don’t.

Confession probably won’t help. First, my feelings aren’t necessarily a sin, and even if they were, I’d have a hard time actually being sorry for it ergo rendering the confession invalid.

Re: the Bolded…
Please know that I am not judging…but speak as one who also struggles with these kinds of things. you are right, the “feelings” are not a sin per-se but the “hard time being sorry” is. Remember that we are to be forgiven as we forgive others…

Peace
James

 

[Della]

Thank you.
People say “Forgive and forget” but I have trouble forgiving and I sure as heck don’t ever forget. I can’t bring myself to pray for his soul, either. I don’t think my forgiveness of lack thereof has any influence on the disposition of his soul, but if it did I’d be tempted to leave him there a while.

My sympathies go out to his family because I have nothing against them and I know they certainly loved him even if I don’t.

Confession probably won’t help. First, my feelings aren’t necessarily a sin, and even if they were, I’d have a hard time actually being sorry for it ergo rendering the confession invalid.

Put it this way: The quote “I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.” is incorrectly attributed to Mark Twain, but still it pretty much sums up how I feel.

Forgiveness does not mean you now like the person or that you condone his behavior. Rather, it means giving him and all he did to God and leaving him and your hurt in God’s hands. If you won’t forgive you are letting this man go on hurting you. This will do nothing for/against him, but it will hurt you again and again. Jesus understood how the human heart and mind work and what releases us from hurt feelings and the desire to see another end up unhappy. Forgiveness does not negate anything the man did, but it frees those whom he hurt from reliving and reexperiencing the bad things he did. Does that make sense? It’s not the only reason to forgive people who did bad things, but it does help us get there.