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[Havard]

Thanks for that. I’m having a rough day at work and that made me smile.

:console:

 

[stiffkittenbabe]

I would love to hear more about how being Catholic and chaste makes a man a worse dating prospect. Please, flesh this theory out for me. If I’ve been doing it all wrong, I’m counting on you to set me straight!

For one simple reason: you expect chastity from me, and from the mother that bore me. Therefore you see me as inherently inferior to yourself.

I cannot have a relationship with anybody who disrespects me in this way. Whereas the boyfriend I have now actually sees it as a good thing that I am more experienced than him. He isn’t threatened by it.

 

[stiffkittenbabe]

Also, there is this ridiculous idea floating around that women “give up” sex before marriage, when the reality is that if we didn’t enjoy it, we wouldn’t do it.

I could never marry a man without knowing we are sexually compatible now. (And my previous marriage was not in a church, so potentially I could if I wanted to, however I no longer see the point of getting married.)

I enjoy sex, and I need a man who enjoys it too. Whom I have now. Whereas my ex husband was too busy drinking to be bothered with it.

Basically, if a man has a “headache” before he has you chained to him for life, just imagine how awful it will be once you are stuck with him forever!

I prayed so hard that I would get to be with the one I love now. If God had a problem with it, he would not have answered my prayers to St Dymphna and St Dwynwen by getting him to fall in love with me.
We are still trying to figure out whether we fell in love because of the sex, or whether it was because when we got to know each other, we realised it was meant to be more than that. I did not want a relationship at the time, so God has definitely been at work in engineering this situation. Also, if sex outside of marriage is not meant to happen, then why do I exist? Are you trying to tell me I am one of God’s mistakes?

 

[stiffkittenbabe]

I would love to hear more about how being Catholic and chaste makes a man a worse dating prospect. Please, flesh this theory out for me. If I’ve been doing it all wrong, I’m counting on you to set me straight!

Anyway, I’m not saying you or anyone else is “worse”. You are simply not compatible with women like me and are better suited to a girl who shares your views about sex. I’m sure there must be a plethora of women out there who could successfully persuade you to marry them in exchange for sex.

 

[Captain_America]

Also, there is this ridiculous idea floating around that women “give up” sex before marriage, when the reality is that if we didn’t enjoy it, we wouldn’t do it.

I could never marry a man without knowing we are sexually compatible now. (And my previous marriage was not in a church, so potentially I could if I wanted to, however I no longer see the point of getting married.)

I enjoy sex, and I need a man who enjoys it too. Whom I have now. Whereas my ex husband was too busy drinking to be bothered with it.

Basically, if a man has a “headache” before he has you chained to him for life, just imagine how awful it will be once you are stuck with him forever!

I prayed so hard that I would get to be with the one I love now. If God had a problem with it, he would not have answered my prayers to St Dymphna and St Dwynwen by getting him to fall in love with me.
We are still trying to figure out whether we fell in love because of the sex, or whether it was because when we got to know each other, we realised it was meant to be more than that. I did not want a relationship at the time, so God has definitely been at work in engineering this situation. Also, if sex outside of marriage is not meant to happen, then why do I exist? Are you trying to tell me I am one of God’s mistakes?

I have a serious problem with the “test him/her out, before buying” hypothesis.

It’s pretty obvious that the great majority of men and women are sexually compatible. People LIKE having sex. I would hazard that it is only people with odd tendencies that really DO need to know if bondage, SM, etc. will work with the other person.

C’mon. Get real.

 

[Havard]

For one simple reason: you expect chastity from me, and from the mother that bore me. Therefore you see me as inherently inferior to yourself.

I cannot have a relationship with anybody who disrespects me in this way. Whereas the boyfriend I have now actually sees it as a good thing that I am more experienced than him. He isn’t threatened by it.

Those are baseless, unkind accusations, that a Catholic like myself view anyone as inherently inferior, and that we disrespect the unchaste. I, like many Catholics, follow the teaching that all are equal, all are children of God.

We do exercise compatibility judgments, but don’t confuse those with value judgments. The difference is that one (value judgment) is me thinking I am better than someone else, and the other (compatibility judgment) is me using common sense and recognizing what qualities are or aren’t compatible with mine. I’m pretty sure they, you, and everybody else in the world with an ounce of sense, makes compatibility judgments when it comes to love.

 

[stiffkittenbabe]

Those are baseless, unkind accusations, that a Catholic like myself view anyone as inherently inferior, and that we disrespect the unchaste. I, like many Catholics, follow the teaching that all are equal, all are children of God.

We do exercise compatibility judgments, but don’t confuse those with value judgments. The difference is that one (value judgment) is me thinking I am better than someone else, and the other (compatibility judgment) is me using common sense and recognizing what qualities are or aren’t compatible with mine. I’m pretty sure they, you, and everybody else in the world with an ounce of sense, makes compatibility judgments when it comes to love.

In that case I apologise for my assumption.

 

[Havard]

In that case I apologise for my assumption.

It’s alright, and I understand that your ex’s actions make you wary. I encourage you to look past labels, as you surely know there are many who carry the label “Catholic” or “Christian” who do not act in a manner Jesus would have approved. God bless, you’re in my prayers.