P
perfectpeach
Guest
Yesterday, I received the Sacrament of Reconciliation for the first time in over a year. I have been MIA from the Church for about 14 months now.
After the birth of my 4th child, I was struggling with God’s plan for me and decided I could no longer use NFP. I forced my husband to become sterilized (would have done so myself, but I had no insurance), but before he agreed, I became pregnant and had an abortion.
Afterwards, I stopped going to Mass altogether, and worse, began questioning my belief in God.
Over the past year, I have felt ‘the call’ to return quite often, but could not bring myself to come to reconciliation. I recently have come to realize just what a monstrous thing I have done after my sister recently miscarried for the 5th time.
Yesterday during reconciliation, I was told by my priest that God does not need me and it makes no difference to Him if I come to church or not. I suppose I was surprised about hearing this. I have been in a very dark place for a year now and I was hoping for a warmer welcome. I feel completely rejected right now…
Although I am struggling with accepting that I have truly been absolved, I received Eucharist for the first time in a LONG time this morning and it was the most magical moment of my life. I am so eager to return to Christ and be with Him the way I once was, but I know this will be a long, difficult journey to healing…
After the birth of my 4th child, I was struggling with God’s plan for me and decided I could no longer use NFP. I forced my husband to become sterilized (would have done so myself, but I had no insurance), but before he agreed, I became pregnant and had an abortion.
Afterwards, I stopped going to Mass altogether, and worse, began questioning my belief in God.
Over the past year, I have felt ‘the call’ to return quite often, but could not bring myself to come to reconciliation. I recently have come to realize just what a monstrous thing I have done after my sister recently miscarried for the 5th time.
Yesterday during reconciliation, I was told by my priest that God does not need me and it makes no difference to Him if I come to church or not. I suppose I was surprised about hearing this. I have been in a very dark place for a year now and I was hoping for a warmer welcome. I feel completely rejected right now…
Although I am struggling with accepting that I have truly been absolved, I received Eucharist for the first time in a LONG time this morning and it was the most magical moment of my life. I am so eager to return to Christ and be with Him the way I once was, but I know this will be a long, difficult journey to healing…
:console: