God, Faith and other questions of a Veteran

[PAGrunt]

I’m an Iraq War Veteran and I’ve seen how being over religious can ruin the lives of other people. On the other hand, I’ve also done things while I was deployed in Iraq that make me feel as though I need the help of a higher power. I was raised Catholic, so I feel the most comfortable with the Catholic Church. Since I’ve been home all I do is drink heavily, smoke constantly and indulge in gambling here and there. I make enough money to support these things and they make me feel good. I guess I should fear the wrath of a God for my current choices but honesly I really haven’t seen any “compassion” or proof of any God. Lets see while I was deployed my girlfriend of 5 years left me for someone, my grandma died and I was not given leave to see here and when I get home my own brother steals over 4,000 dollars out of my bank account to support his drug habit. I have a really hard time beliving that praying and going to church will make everything better when God(if he is really out there) can just sit back and let these things happen.

 

[vera_dicere]

Firstly, I have to ask, so don’t be offended, are you recieving counselling? The drinking and gamblign is not healthy and could be indication that you’re suffering from some kind of PTSD?

As for God’s intervention, we suffer because of the choices of others. If I punch you in the face and break your nose, who’s fault is it? Mine? Or God’s?

God is not going to reach down and grab my hand before it hits you in the face because that would interfer with my free will and would also remove from you [and me] the ability to choose God without duress, it’d be negating the need for faith.

It sucks when bad stuff happens, either from natural occurances, like death or from the sins of others. But you can’t blame God for it.

 

[DexUK]

I can’t tell you whether the things you did while on active service were sinful or not (since I do not know what you did, nor am I an expert in the culpabilities of soldiers in respect of their actions compared to unenlisted people in the eyes of the Church).

I can tell you that drinking and gambling are sinful if they cause harm to yourself or others. You should consider these things carefully of course since getting drunk now might not have an immediate effect beyond the hangover but in the longer outlook you may be causing yourself health problems later as a result of heavy drinking over a long period of time. I think we are all called to look after ourselves - not to the point of Puritanism but to exercise prudence and moderation. The same with gambling - gamble what you can afford to lose without placing your future or the futures of those who might rely on you at risk.

Now considering God’s compassion and the apparent lack of it in the face of bad things happening around and to you…

It really does depend on how you perceive God. Do you want God to be the all-powerful intercessor God who plucks us out of our problems at the first asking? Or would you prefer a God who enables you to do the things necessary to fix your own problems? Which is going to be more satisfactory and which do you think matches what you’re taught about the Christian faith: never having to take responsibility for your own failings and leaving others to rely on God’s intercession? OR… Giving of ourselves, taking responsibility for the things that we do and helping others?

Which is selfish and which is generous?

Which, in the long run, makes us feel better and be better?

I agree… life hasn’t been good for you. You’ve been abandoned by someone you love, another has died and someone else has betrayed your trust and your familial bond. It’s all hopeless. Or is it?

First of all, no matter how much your heart aches now, your former girlfriend simply wasn’t the woman for you. It was never going to be. You might have loved her enough but she didn’t love you enough and if you’d somehow stayed together it wouldn’t have been a healthy relationship. It was not, in the end, right for either of you. I know it hurts. It really sucks. But you can, if you want to, accept it, move on and learn lessons that you can use to make future relationships work better. Life is a journey of discovery. Not all discoveries are pleasant, but we learn from them nonetheless. THAT capability is a gift from God - the ability to consciously examine ourselves and come to acceptance of the things that have happened to us.

And next, your Grandma. I know. Again, it hurts. You feel the injustice that the Army wouldn’t or weren’t able to give you compassionate leave. But that’s not God lacking in compassion, it’s man. Men make rules to govern other men. Armies make rules to govern their soldiers and typically those rules are applied rigidly and sometimes these things just happen. The same with your brother’s betrayal. He’s addicted. He’s ill. Our Lord doesn’t want you to eat yourself up in resentment and bitterness. He wants to give you peace. His peace. A peace the world cannot give. Do you recognise the words? It is in telling Our Lord your problems, asking to take them upon Himself - which He willingly does, throughout all time, it is in trusting in His care and love for you that we find peace in this life. It doesn’t mean that bad things stop happening to you: it means that your capacity to be unfazed by them is bolstered. Trust in the mercy of God, the love of Christ, the Fellowship of the Holy Spirit. They are with you now and always and what trifles are these earthly problems when the joy of meeting Christ in Heaven and being reunited with all our loved ones awaits? THERE is your peace: it is peace in hope.

God doesn’t take control of our lives. It doesn’t work like that. But He gives us every tool to withstand the things that try to break us.

May God’s love be ever upon you.

Peace be with you.

 

[JRKH]

First of all let me say Welcome Home from the war, and Welcome to The boards.

Your questions and concerns stike deeply at me for I can understand them. Theya re not that uncommon.

I’m an Iraq War Veteran and I’ve seen how being over religious can ruin the lives of other people. On the other hand, I’ve also done things while I was deployed in Iraq that make me feel as though I need the help of a higher power. I was raised Catholic, so I feel the most comfortable with the Catholic Church.

Yes, there can be “Zealots” who do not see the truth of what true faith entails and they can make life miserable for those they disagree with.
Being Riased catholic (I was too) does not guarantee that we understand the true nature of our faith. It is an unfortunate truth that catachesis have been horrible over teh last 40 years or so. Bit that is beginning to get better.
God has seen your trouble and your pain. He has guided you here.

Since I’ve been home all I do is drink heavily, smoke constantly and indulge in gambling here and there. I make enough money to support these things and they make me feel good.

I agree with the others who say this speaks to PTSD and perhaps some councilling would help. I would also say that discussing this with a priest might help. Perhaps he can recommend a councillor who is catholic, or at least christian.

I guess I should fear the wrath of a God for my current choices but honesly I really haven’t seen any “compassion” or proof of any God. Lets see while I was deployed my girlfriend of 5 years left me for someone, my grandma died and I was not given leave to see here and when I get home my own brother steals over 4,000 dollars out of my bank account to support his drug habit. I have a really hard time beliving that praying and going to church will make everything better when God(if he is really out there) can just sit back and let these things happen.

I guess that, from what I’ve read so far, the reason you have not seen compassion or proof, is because you have been sitting on the sidelines, “looking on” as it were. Correct me if I’m wrong in this, but you mention nothing about praying, going to mass or confession or any other form of spiritual effort. How can one learn of God, or be healed, if one is not participating?
To the issues you present:
Your girlfriend left you for another. Better that God showed this to you now instead of after you were married.
Not able to get home for your grandma’s funeral. Sad indeed, but hardly something to “blame God for”. If you r Grandma was a True Christian, she is now in heaven and looking down upon her beautiful grandson. She is praying for you in the presence of and before the most Holy Thorne. Isn’t it more comforting to contemplate upon this instead of being angry because you were unable to see her corporeal remains interred in the ground?
Your Brother Stole From you. Sad indeed. But what did he steal? Gold, mammon. He took nothing that cannot be replaced. What is sadder than his taking the money is that he too, like yourself, is in dire need of help. Perhaps he does not recognize this yet, but you have and that is why you are here.

Look in your life for God’s blessings. You are already a member of His most Glorious Church by virtue of baptism. You can quickly restore yourself to the sacraments by the simple effort of a sincere confession, after which you can begind to receive the Holy Eucharist, Christ’s Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, into yourself.
Please go and spend time just sitting before the blessed sacrament.
Pray the Rosary
Ask you r Grandma to intercede for you and to help guide you. (maybe she was thw one who got you here Just a thought)

I am, holding you up right now in prayer that God soften your heart and that you are able to see more clearly those blessings that surround you. That you will be able to seek him, not in judgement for perceived wrongs, but in Love. Ask Him to embrace you as a Loving Father embraces a hurt, crying, sorrowful child.

I sincerely hope some of this is of help to you.

Peace
James

 

[belmontmac]

From an x grunt to another, thanks for your service.

Everything flows from the Mass, it is the source and summit of the Christian life.
Start there, and everything will fall in place. Fall in love for what the Mass really is and about, and a light will go off, eventually.

Peace be with you on your journey.

 

[Neil_Anthony]

I’m an Iraq War Veteran and I’ve seen how being over religious can ruin the lives of other people. On the other hand, I’ve also done things while I was deployed in Iraq that make me feel as though I need the help of a higher power. I was raised Catholic, so I feel the most comfortable with the Catholic Church. Since I’ve been home all I do is drink heavily, smoke constantly and indulge in gambling here and there. I make enough money to support these things and they make me feel good. I guess I should fear the wrath of a God for my current choices but honesly I really haven’t seen any “compassion” or proof of any God. Lets see while I was deployed my girlfriend of 5 years left me for someone, my grandma died and I was not given leave to see here and when I get home my own brother steals over 4,000 dollars out of my bank account to support his drug habit. I have a really hard time beliving that praying and going to church will make everything better when God(if he is really out there) can just sit back and let these things happen.

Hi,
Thank you for serving democracy in Iraq.

This life is full of bad things (hopefully good things too). Your relationship with God should be able to help you through them. Put them blame for bad things on the people who wronged you, not on God, then seek out God in prayer and ask Him for help. The drinking and gambling can lead to more sadness in the long run for you, and God wants what is good for you. The very short book Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence comes to mind for you. God can help you put the suffering in your life to good use, and make it all seem unimportant compared to what He has in store for you. Please learn to pray and start spending time daily in God’s presence.

Neil

 

[Lost_Again]

I’m an Iraq War Veteran and I’ve seen how being over religious can ruin the lives of other people. On the other hand, I’ve also done things while I was deployed in Iraq that make me feel as though I need the help of a higher power. I was raised Catholic, so I feel the most comfortable with the Catholic Church. Since I’ve been home all I do is drink heavily, smoke constantly and indulge in gambling here and there. I make enough money to support these things and they make me feel good. I guess I should fear the wrath of a God for my current choices but honesly I really haven’t seen any “compassion” or proof of any God. Lets see while I was deployed my girlfriend of 5 years left me for someone, my grandma died and I was not given leave to see here and when I get home my own brother steals over 4,000 dollars out of my bank account to support his drug habit. I have a really hard time beliving that praying and going to church will make everything better when God(if he is really out there) can just sit back and let these things happen.

My Brother in Arms…

Please take some advice from a old Vet… (Nam 70-72)

Stop blaming God and please get some help! Go to the VA, or stop by/call your local church and have them direct you to Catholic Relief Services.

Son, I know you’re hurting… Been there…
God and the church is what saved me… I did some pretty stupid stuff when I got back too so you’re not alone… Booze only dulls the pain for so long… I also know that. Its been 40years and I still have nightmares, but I’ve learned to make peace with them.

We’re going through the same thing with my nephew who was career Army (22 years 82nd Airborne) Two Tours Iraq, and 1 tour Afghanistan. He’s been home almost a year since he retired and got back stateside and He’s just now starting to be himself again.
I didn’t used to like to let him drive when he first got back because he’d “trip out” and start screaming at people. “If this was Iraq I would have waxed your a**” with my .50" was frequently heard. (Trust me, I did similar stupid things when I got back)

The biggest thing to remember is it takes time but only if you let someone help you, and you ARE NOT ALONE in this… Only if you choose to be!

Put it in perspective… At least you didn’t come home and get spit on and called baby-killer like we did. It made it even harder for guys like us to reach out for help because everyone made us out to be “Losers”

My final point is this… Hang in there, it DOES get better but you have to be a part of the process and stop looking to place blame. Being with my veteran brothers who knew what it was like, and yes… getting back into a church where I was loved and cared for really helped. This is especially true if you don’t have strong family ties.

I’ll pray for you… YES Prayer does work… I’m living proof!