God has a sense of humor!

[Just_wondering]

Lately I’ve been posting about how I’m hoping my boyfriend would propose soon.

Well, I got a proposal last night - but not from him!

Two years ago, I asked a friend if he’d like to take it to the next level. He said thanks but no thanks, and we remained friends. He moved away, and we call each other every few months. Last night he called me and asked how I was doing, and how it was going with my boyfriend. I said it was very good, and he suddenly popped out with “forget about him, and marry me! I’ve been thinking about asking you for so long! Will you marry me?”

To which I answered, I’m sorry, but no. I have a happy relationship with my boyfriend, and I am planning to marry him. And I am with my boyfriend now, so this conversation is completely inappropriate and I’m hanging up now. (I did wait until we’d exchanged goodbyes before hanging up.)

He phoned back four times before I turned off my phone. My boyfriend was a little peeved that someone else asked me to marry him, before he’d had a chance! I assured him that I wouldn’t say “yes” to anybody but him.

I’m just laughing because I was hoping to get a marriage proposal, but this wasn’t the one I expected. Maybe this was God’s way of telling me to stop worrying about when it’s going to happen, and to focus on enjoying this stage of my life. I have been spending way too much of my time thinking about the details of how and when and where and why, when he hasn’t even proposed yet.

So, thank you God for the reminder that I should focus on what I have, not on what I want. Oh, what a week it has been!

 

[lotusblossom]

Lol

 

[LSK]

That is the kind of story you will need to tell your grandchildren some day - say at your 50th wedding celebration…I LOVE it!

 

[chevalier]

Last time at mass I got a little distracted and started thinking about so many young Catholic girls being in one place at an academic church. Then Father said (it was during the sermon): “Look around. Maybe you’ll meet your future wife or husband.” I was so… err… jawdropped doesn’t say it.

 

[whatevergirl]

Lately I’ve been posting about how I’m hoping my boyfriend would propose soon.

Well, I got a proposal last night - but not from him!

Two years ago, I asked a friend if he’d like to take it to the next level. He said thanks but no thanks, and we remained friends. He moved away, and we call each other every few months. Last night he called me and asked how I was doing, and how it was going with my boyfriend. I said it was very good, and he suddenly popped out with “forget about him, and marry me! I’ve been thinking about asking you for so long! Will you marry me?”

To which I answered, I’m sorry, but no. I have a happy relationship with my boyfriend, and I am planning to marry him. And I am with my boyfriend now, so this conversation is completely inappropriate and I’m hanging up now. (I did wait until we’d exchanged goodbyes before hanging up.)

He phoned back four times before I turned off my phone. My boyfriend was a little peeved that someone else asked me to marry him, before he’d had a chance! I assured him that I wouldn’t say “yes” to anybody but him.

I’m just laughing because I was hoping to get a marriage proposal, but this wasn’t the one I expected. Maybe this was God’s way of telling me to stop worrying about when it’s going to happen, and to focus on enjoying this stage of my life. I have been spending way too much of my time thinking about the details of how and when and where and why, when he hasn’t even proposed yet.

So, thank you God for the reminder that I should focus on what I have, not on what I want. Oh, what a week it has been!

or…it means that your bf better get a move on it, or someone else will! I like this story–aw, that is kind of interesting that he has been thinking about you after all this time…and considers you to be a potential wife for him. I think God does have a sense of humor! (thankfully!!!) Good luck to you and your bf…plz keep us posted.

 

[BlestOne]

I was thinking the same as Whatevergirl… Maybe God was telling your boyfriend not to delay or you may be gone…

 

[Em_in_FL]

That’s a fantastic story!

Hopefully it’ll motivate that BF to get his act together!
(Boys can be slightly fearful of commitment sometimes… motivation is GOOD! )

 

[rpp]

I am sorry, but I am not seeing any humor here.

What I do see is a young man who is now terribly heartsick because of a very callous brush-off.

 

[kage_ar]

I am sorry, but I am not seeing any humor here.

What I do see is a young man who is now terribly heartsick because of a very callous brush-off.

Or what if this was God’s way of tapping you on the shoulder and saying “your boyfriend is not the best for you”.

It would have been kinder to have said that you were surprised and would need to give this prayerful consideration.

 

[homewardbound]

I am sorry, but I am not seeing any humor here.

What I do see is a young man who is now terribly heartsick because of a very callous brush-off.

I agree the brush off was a little harsh, but the man was silly to propose to someone without even knowing if they are already in love, or acting like they should leave their boyfriend just because he loves her. Thats silly. He got what was coming to him really, how could he actually think she would say yes? Poor judgment on his part.

I think it is kinda funny, since you’ve been all anxious about a proposal coming up. Hopefully it has gotten your boyfriend’s attention too so he’ll get moving!

I agree though, it definitely is good to enjoy where you are now. In love and with an amazing man, what better place is there to be in life?

 

[gmarie21]

Or what if this was God’s way of tapping you on the shoulder and saying “your boyfriend is not the best for you”.

It would have been kinder to have said that you were surprised and would need to give this prayerful consideration.

I agree, especially if you’ve been praying for a proposal.

I had two friends who had dated (I introduced them) and then split up. A few years passed, he wanted to contact her to appologize for how he broke up with her. She went to visit him (he was stationed in another state) one weekend (the first time they’d seen each other in years and he proposed that same weekend and married less thsn a month later (and a few months after that they married in a Church wedding).

Maybe this guy is God’s will for you OP

 

[Just_wondering]

or…it means that your bf better get a move on it, or someone else will!

That’s a fantastic story!

Hopefully it’ll motivate that BF to get his act together!
(Boys can be slightly fearful of commitment sometimes… motivation is GOOD! )

Yeah, I did think about that! My boyfriend has committed in that we’re talking to the priest about marriage, but he wants to wait to propose until he’s got the money for a ring. (And I don’t even want an expensive ring - any ring would do.)

I am sorry, but I am not seeing any humor here.

What I do see is a young man who is now terribly heartsick because of a very callous brush-off.

It would have been kinder to have said that you were surprised and would need to give this prayerful consideration.

Actually, I didn’t say it in person nearly as harshly as I summed it up in my post. He called me three times in the space of two hours. He proposed the first time, I said that I was sorry, but that it had been two years, and I had moved on. I told him that I was on the verge of marrying my current boyfriend.

The second time he called, he was drunk. He kept asking where I was, and telling me not to say that I was happy with my boyfriend. I spoke to him for fifteen minutes or so, and then the conversation ended. The third time, I was having dinner with my boyfriend (and telling my boyfriend the story) when he called a third time. I told him that since I’d already said no, and I was with my boyfriend now, I didn’t think we needed to continue the conversation. By this point, he was so drunk that he was slurring his words badly. He asked to speak to my boyfriend. My boyfriend declined, and I said that I wanted to end the conversation. He apologized and we hung up. He phoned back four more times while I was having dinner with my boyfriend, until I turned off my cell phone.

The next morning, I got an apology for his behaviour.

I agree, especially if you’ve been praying for a proposal.

Maybe this guy is God’s will for you OP

I wondered about that… but I haven’t been praying for a proposal. I figured it would be pretty selfish to pray for a proposal - there are so many better things to pray for. My boyfriend spent the ring money on his grandmother’s surgery, so I’ve prayed for her health. I’ve prayed for my boyfriend to be happier and more successful at work, so he could afford a ring sooner. But I haven’t prayed for a proposal.

My boyfriend is terrified that I’ll change my mind and choose the other guy, I suspect. He knows I have concerns about becoming a stepmother.
But the other guy has issues:

• his parents would never approve of an international marriage.
• he has never dated anyone before, ever. That’s a negative in my book, because he doesn’t have any experience in conflict resolution and stuff.
• he’s a very heavy drinker - binge drinking with his colleagues three nights a week.
• he’s in the military, which means he’ll rarely be around.

I agree the brush off was a little harsh, but the man was silly to propose to someone without even knowing if they are already in love, or acting like they should leave their boyfriend just because he loves her. Thats silly. He got what was coming to him really, how could he actually think she would say yes? Poor judgment on his part.

That’s kind of where I’m coming from. If he was feeling that way about me, why didn’t he call more than once every two or three months? And how come every time he calls, he’s drinking? Sounds to me like he only has the courage to approach me when he’s had some liquid encouragement. Who’d marry a man who can’t communicate unless he’s drunk?

Thanks, but no thanks. I’m going to stick with my boyfriend.

 

[manualman]

I am sorry, but I am not seeing any humor here.

What I do see is a young man who is now terribly heartsick because of a very callous brush-off.

Speaking as a man who, in his youth, received at least my fair share of declines, I cannot agree with this poster.

The MOST merciful and charitable thing you can do when you need to turn a guy down is to be as clear and unwavering as you actually feel. It is NOT merciful to seek a way to let him down easy if you are sure you aren’t interested. When you are clear, he won’t torture himself wondering if you just want him to chase harder. Thus, it is more merciful than a seemingly hesitant decision.

 

[rpp]

Speaking as a man who, in his youth, received at least my fair share of declines, I cannot agree with this poster.

The MOST merciful and charitable thing you can do when you need to turn a guy down is to be as clear and unwavering as you actually feel. It is NOT merciful to seek a way to let him down easy if you are sure you aren’t interested. When you are clear, he won’t torture himself wondering if you just want him to chase harder. Thus, it is more merciful than a seemingly hesitant decision.

I am not suggesting that she accept his proposal. I am saying that laughing at him for it is callous.

Nor am I even suggesting that such a proposal should even be taken seriously.

However, not that JustWondering has expanded on the event, it is clear that he is having a tough time wherever is and is probably lonely. I agree the worst possible thing to do is humor someone in that position. But I think mocking him is inappropriate. in any case.

That does not mean that it will act as a catalyst for JustWondering’s boyfriend. In many ways I hope it does not. People should get married when they feel ready, not when they feel pressured, either by the potential spouse or outside competition.

 

[CarrieH]

That’s kind of where I’m coming from. If he was feeling that way about me, why didn’t he call more than once every two or three months? And how come every time he calls, he’s drinking? Sounds to me like he only has the courage to approach me when he’s had some liquid encouragement. Who’d marry a man who can’t communicate unless he’s drunk?

Thanks, but no thanks. I’m going to stick with my boyfriend.

Smart move! Sounds like this was the liquor talking when he kept calling and said all of that stuff. Makes you wonder if he really thinks all that much of you when he’s sober. You’re better off without a drunken husband, that’s for sure!

 

[PatienceAndLove]

Well I thought it was funny!

(and I have done my share of drunken proposals…don’t ask)

 

[Just_wondering]

I am not suggesting that she accept his proposal. I am saying that laughing at him for it is callous.

Nor am I even suggesting that such a proposal should even be taken seriously.

However, not that JustWondering has expanded on the event, it is clear that he is having a tough time wherever is and is probably lonely. I agree the worst possible thing to do is humor someone in that position. But I think mocking him is inappropriate. in any case.

You are right, and I would never have laughed at him to his face. Is it wrong to laugh about the situation behind his back?

 

[Norseman82]

• he’s a very heavy drinker - binge drinking with his colleagues three nights a week.
• he’s in the military, which means he’ll rarely be around.

The drinking problem is a redder flag than you’d find at a May Day parade in Beijing. You are right to stay away from him, and depending on what branch of military he is in, he could be well-trained physically and have a few weapons of his own. Combine that with alcohol, and this situation would be a time bomb waiting to explode.

However, I am concerned about your safety. It is possible that he may start stalking you, and you may need tio get an order of protection againt him. I’m sure an order of protection will not look good on his military record, so don’t be afraid to use that as leverage if need be. Also, if he were to ever start a physical altercation with you and/or your boyfriend, would either or both of you be prepared to effectively handle him?

 

[dulcissima]

You are right, and I would never have laughed at him to his face. Is it wrong to laugh about the situation behind his back?

I don’t think you were laughing at him. I think you were noting the irony in the situation. Big difference.

Still, I would think that something like this would make you pause for a minute, step back, and take a look at the big picture. I think you might have a little bit better perspective to appreciate the way that some setbacks in your life have actually helped lead you to a better path. Be thankful that your onetime friend did not accept your offer to take things to the next level.

 

[Just_wondering]

You are right to stay away from him, and depending on what branch of military he is in, he could be well-trained physically and have a few weapons of his own. Combine that with alcohol, and this situation would be a time bomb waiting to explode.

However, I am concerned about your safety. It is possible that he may start stalking you, and you may need tio get an order of protection againt him. I’m sure an order of protection will not look good on his military record, so don’t be afraid to use that as leverage if need be. Also, if he were to ever start a physical altercation with you and/or your boyfriend, would either or both of you be prepared to effectively handle him?

Wow, Norseman, I hadn’t thought about that aspect of things. I don’t think he’s the kind of guy who would get violent, but alcohol can make people do strange things.

He is incredibly well-trained physically. He’s in a special forces counterterrorism parajumping unit. He’s short, but very very strong. Luckily, in Korea there are no legal private guns, and very very few illegal ones - crimes here are committed with knives.

Could my boyfriend or I handle it if he started a physical fight? Well, I have a black belt (two, actually), and my boyfriend is pretty scrappy, but against military training we probably couldn’t do much more than hold him off.

I don’t think I have to worry about him physically attacking me, though. He doesn’t seem the type, he doesn’t know where I live (or where my boyfriend lives), and if he did anything he’d be out of the military so fast he wouldn’t know what hit him. Also, I used to teach some of the senior NCOs in his unit, so they’d certainly “get him” if he did anything to me.

Since I got an apology from him, I’m going to assume that all is well between us for now. I probably won’t accept any invitations from him unless my boyfriend will be with me, and I definitely won’t accept any invitations at all in the next few months. We’ll give it some time before we talk again.