God has abandoned me

[scoobydoo6v92]

The past three years have been a slow descent of ever increasing pain for me and my family. Every possible thing that could go wrong has gone wrong. We are a very faithful Catholic family and prayer (particularly to St. Anthony) has been a staple of our lives. I certainly understand that things could be worse and that many people do go through worse circumstances. But just because someone is in greater pain, does not make mine hurt any less.
Yesterday, I was informed that a company that was considering hiring me has decided to pass on me. This makes a year out of work and my last real employment option is now officially gone. I, and members of my family, devoted so much prayer to this job. The past three years have been one crushing defeat after another. Now, in my early 40’s, I’m single, have no friends and no job. Despite the adversity, I had been immensely optimistic and positive, but I am now truly at the end of my rope. I can’t face the prospect of a life devoid of any happiness whatsoever. This job was the last string that I was clinging to.
I took the crucifix off my wall and threw it in a drawer along with my rosary. After a completely sleepless night, I’m walking around in a daze feeling as though I’ve been kicked in the gut. God has completely abandoned me and prayer feels like a useless charade. I loved being Catholic, but now I just feel foolish speaking to the walls when no one is listening.
I’m not looking for pity or consolation. I just needed to get this off my chest.

My friend I hear you like you WON’T beleive!!! Oh how I know what you are going through and I know that all the simplistic answers like “toughen up” or “offer it up” or “if you can still walk or this or that you aren’t suffering enough.” that is RUBBISH!!! one’s suffering is not the same as another’s suffering. I am more than at the end of my rope I go to bed praying to God to take me in my sleep. I can’t stand another day of this HELL I am in I AM IN HELL!!! and I know how you feel. I have been very optimistic and understanding but I have had enough and I can’t take it another miserable day. Yes I know how you feel and I feel that God has his pets and I am not one of them. I know he is there and that the Catholic Church is the true Church and I want to be intoxicated by Jesus, but I am truly truly at the end of my rope and even simple pleasures ( Moral pleasures) elude me. I am sorry but I had to respond and your post and lament gives me comfort that I am not making this up or that I am over reacting but rather I am not the only one that is getting the shaft in this life when we believe so much in God. I hope I pray I lament that God gives you relief and soon . Lord Jesus please make haste and come to this person’s assitance now and make this person’s life enjoyable give this person a little joy today. That is my prayer for you and please don’t give up eventhough I know your lament more than you could possibly imagine!!! Oh how I know God bless you and I will pray that you get what ever you are searching.

 

[scoobydoo6v92]

I hate to bump an old thread, but here’s my experience.

1. God doesn’t do job placement. He could not care less whether you are underemployed, unemployed, living in a homless shelter, or living in a cardboard box under a bridge.
2. God will give you more than you can handle. This is the cause of suicide.
3. I like the rosary, but I’ve noticed nothing but bad things come of it.
4. You can pray to every saint or choir of angel. You won’t get any help their either.
5. God plays favorites. We never knew why he liked Able more than Cain, he just did. If you’re not one of his favorites, you are screwed.
6. God can be a hypocrite. He tests us all of the time and yet, when we ask him to do something positive to let him know he is still their, his rejoinder is always, “Don’t put me to the test.”
7. We seem to have two choices: 1) a malevolent God bent on killing us slowly with economic woes (you know, food/shelter/employment/money all the things we’re not supposed to care about because, c’mon, it’s not like you need those to survive) and 2) a devil that is 100x as bad. We have no choice but to stick with God, but he’s not automatically a nice/caring/loving diety. Not based on his actions anyway.
8. If you look at how he treats Israel in the Hebrew bible, it’s clear that God follows an, “I hit you because I love you” model. If you step out of line once, God will beat you like a housewife who burnt dinner.

Yepp, exactly, but if you are an athiest and non beleiver God will bend over backwards to do what he can to get you, give you everything on a silver platter , while the beleivers have to eat out of garbage cans. Not only that!!! the Prodical son gets the best while the son that stayed with his father doing the right thing all his life has to take back seat or thrid fiddle. It is not fair and I have had enough. I never disbeleived in God NEVER WILL but this treatment either deliver me O God or TAKE ME!!! Prove me wrong God prove me wrong. There has got to be relief soon please God make haste and help us. Show us your mercy for I don’t feel it.

 

[scoobydoo6v92]

Starr9,

I want to say that my prayers are with you, but you are in a dangerous place. I will tell you now, this statement is going to be blunt, its going to be straight to the point and I hope that you will read on.

You are in a dangerous place my friend, you are walking on the fine line between death and life, spiritually cause you are saying that “God has abandoned me” and I have pity and remorse for you, but not for what you go through but that it seems that in your greatest test of faith you have indeed ended up failing, by allowing Satan to make you think that God has abandoned you.

WE ARE NEVER FORSAKEN! Christ was forsaken, he was forsaken on that Cross and bore that most horrible weight for our sins. God is with you my friend, he stands next to you and is waiting for you to come to him. We are at war and personally I don’t think the church does a good job at stressing this point. We are fighting Satan for our salvation everyday cause everyday Satan tries to make us believe that God has abandoned us. You are his child, I’m only 21 years old and know nothing about having children of my own, but friend I tell you this, I would never abandon my child. For my love as a human being is to great to allow that. If that is the love of a man, just think of what the love of God is. It is a thousand fold, and my weak love is in no comparison to the great God in heaven.

Take out your cross, put it on your wall, pray your rosary and get back in prayer. By allowing Satan to make you think that you are abandoned, you are allowing him to build a stronghold against you, to fight you and your belief. You are in your weakest now, so go to God that your weakness should make you strong through Christ. You need to focus, you need to listen, truly. We grow in silence, turn off the T.V, turn off every little distraction this includes watches, and the phone.

Seek your priest out and get guidance. You are in an area in which Satan can have free reign to pound you constantly, because you have allowed him to make you believe that God is not with you.

I once stood in your same shoes, for 9 years, I was in a tormenting anger and hate of everything cause I believed that God had abandoned me. Satan destroyed my family and because of that, in my blind faith at the age of 9 years old, I thought it was God’s fault. I was angry and I was in hate. I did things that I regret now but they are behind me due to my salvation through Christ when I was 18.

Friend, seek the face of God continually, this has been placed on you not because God thinks you can’t handle it, but because he knows you can. Be strong, fight the good fight of faith and know that now until the end of time God will never forsaken you, nor abandon you, for you ARE a child of God, adopted through the blood of Christ.

God Bless, my prayers are with you.

How do you get releif?? how do you handle the the miseries for so long. Is there any hope that the trial be lifted?? I read your post. I have tried everything I mean everything praying crying yelling screaming meditation offering up suffering, but to no avail. I dont think God forsake me or abandon me, just feel that I am not one of his “pets” it is what it is.

 

[Shamati]

Yepp, exactly, but if you are an athiest and non beleiver God will bend over backwards to do what he can to get you, give you everything on a silver platter , while the beleivers have to eat out of garbage cans. Not only that!!! the Prodical son gets the best while the son that stayed with his father doing the right thing all his life has to take back seat or thrid fiddle. It is not fair and I have had enough. I never disbeleived in God NEVER WILL but this treatment either deliver me O God or TAKE ME!!! Prove me wrong God prove me wrong. There has got to be relief soon please God make haste and help us. Show us your mercy for I don’t feel it.

God drowns the people that are not with Him in material wealth so that they faster should realise nothing of this world will make them happy.
Likewise he gives crosses for His people to bear so that they may be reminded that nothing matters but Him and to purify our souls and align us with the flow of the Holy Spirit. There are many books in the Bible speaking on this.

Please dont give up! You have to STOP thinking about the past and future and focus on the present. The eastern monastic tradition says: Dont Resent, Dont React and keep inner silence.

You have to “remove your sandals before you can behold the burning bush”, ie. strip yourself from the thoughts of judgements of good and bad to eat of the tree of life.

 

[scoobydoo6v92]

God drowns the people that are not with Him in material wealth so that they faster should realise nothing of this world will make them happy.
Likewise he gives crosses for His people to bear so that they may be reminded that nothing matters but Him and to purify our souls and align us with the flow of the Holy Spirit. There are many books in the Bible speaking on this.

Please dont give up! You have to STOP thinking about the past and future and focus on the present. The eastern monastic tradition says: Dont Resent, Dont React and keep inner silence.

You have to “remove your sandals before you can behold the burning bush”, ie. strip yourself from the thoughts of judgements of good and bad to eat of the tree of life.

I understand what you mean… I am not looking for material riches . I am looking for fullfillment and my heart’s desire plus my famiy’s well being. I mean my Father is 70 and has to travel out of town his business partner is sucking the life out of the company and he is comfy is his house while my Father can’t get a break. My Mother is suffering with sickness from chemo, and I just want my heart’s desire and my family to have peace. Money is nice, but it isn’t my heart’s desire. I just wish God would put out the fire of this desert and the hot winds which blow and blow. I am trying to just get through the day morally by not being jealous and envious and with total trust. Just tough real tough. I don’t want to be jealous or envious, or angry. Just see no releif in sight.

 

[Trystero]

I understand what you mean… I am not looking for material riches . I am looking for fullfillment and my heart’s desire plus my famiy’s well being. I mean my Father is 70 and has to travel out of town his business partner is sucking the life out of the company and he is comfy is his house while my Father can’t get a break. My Mother is suffering with sickness from chemo, and I just want my heart’s desire and my family to have peace. Money is nice, but it isn’t my heart’s desire. I just wish God would put out the fire of this desert and the hot winds which blow and blow. I am trying to just get through the day morally by not being jealous and envious and with total trust. Just tough real tough. I don’t want to be jealous or envious, or angry. Just see no releif in sight.

It’s doubtful God will bring any relief. He doesn’t give material wealth to show people that it doesn’t matter. He gives them wealth because he can. Likewise, he gives believers crosses too heavy for them to bear because he knows they’re not going anywhere and have no choice but to suffer. And if anyone says, “God works in mysterious ways.” or any other bs, hackneyed quip, so help me I will start throwing punches.

 

[ajecphotos]

Trust in god.

Pray from the heart to him.

Don’t be selfish in your prayers. Pray for others around you and in the world.

God is all loving and caring.

 

[Trystero]

Trust in god.

Pray from the heart to him.

Don’t be selfish in your prayers. Pray for others around you and in the world.

God is all loving and caring.

Pray to him from the heart or the mind and he will crush you and try to pass it off as love.

Praying for others helps them. Praying for personal help gives God permission to backhand you.

There’s no evidence that he is loving and caring. Look at the poor, look at pretty much everyone on the African continent. Read Ecclesiastes. Even the author of that ancient book says he looks around and sees people who would have been better off never having been born. In fact, the whole thing is about the question of how we can a God of love and rampant evil and suffering in the world. Strong argument that God could not care less.

 

[CatholicRaven]

the Prodical son gets the best while the son that stayed with his father doing the right thing all his life has to take back seat or thrid fiddle.

Not quite. Remember that during the time the younger son was away, his father was still feeding, sheltering, and caring for the son that stayed–he even says, “you are always with me, and everything I have is yours” (emphasis mine), so I’d hardly say he had to take a back seat to his brother! The older son could have asked for what he wanted at any time, but instead expected it to be dropped in his lap. He already had more good fortune and less suffering than his brother because of his obedience, but he didn’t* recognize *his own blessings. He wasn’t happy with his own good fortune–he only saw that his brother got something he didn’t (the fatted calf).

We’re all like that sometimes. We compare what we *don’t have *to what others do have, and then we call it “unfair.” We forget to count our blessings.

There are many reasons that God allows us to suffer, and often, we won’t know the reasons until much later. The key is to let go of trying to control God, and to know that God really does love you and want what is best for you. Sometimes, what is best for us is not what we want or even what we think we need.

When God gives us more than we can handle alone, it is often because He wants us to lean on Him. There is nothing we cannot handle with God’s help–there is no cross that will crush us if we let God carry us. But it’s so very hard to do; we want to be in control. We want God to do it our way. We want to decide what is best. We want to determine what is good and bad, and do everything we can to avoid the bad. But sometimes, our definitions of “good” and “bad” are a little… off.

Trystero, I’ve BTDT. I’m a mom. It’s hard to accept that a loving parent would ever allow a child to suffer in any way, but the truth is, sometimes we must, in order to allow the child to become stronger or healthier, or to learn what they need to learn to get through life.

The presence of evil and suffering in the world is difficult to accept and understand, because we often seem to think that love is about preventing all suffering–we hate to see those we love suffer in any way. But when we know that a certain kind of suffering is truly necessary for their well-being, in love, we know we must allow it… but we also* suffer with them through it.* And that is love.

God is with us through all of it. Even through our anger at Him. He is there, and He does care. I wish I had proof of this for you, but I only have my own faith, and my own experiences of it. I know of His love and care because I have experienced it, but not because I can explain it or prove it.

Anyway, to the OP: you and your family have my prayers.

 

[The_Revelator]

I sometimes wonder whether people believe that they are here to serve God, or God is there to serve them.

It is easy to proclaim faith. It is even easy to live by it. What is difficult however, is to live by a faith that you do not have.

The trials in our lives are not God’s way of testing our faith, they are simply life’s way of revealing it.

I am sorry if life has given you more than you can bear, and I have no right to judge you, but neither have you the right to judge God. The one person that we all have the right to judge, is ourselves. Perhaps you should start there.

 

[scoobydoo6v92]

Not quite. Remember that during the time the younger son was away, his father was still feeding, sheltering, and caring for the son that stayed–he even says, “you are always with me, and everything I have is yours” (emphasis mine), so I’d hardly say he had to take a back seat to his brother! The older son could have asked for what he wanted at any time, but instead expected it to be dropped in his lap. He already had more good fortune and less suffering than his brother because of his obedience, but he didn’t* recognize *his own blessings. He wasn’t happy with his own good fortune–he only saw that his brother got something he didn’t (the fatted calf).

We’re all like that sometimes. We compare what we *don’t have *to what others do have, and then we call it “unfair.” We forget to count our blessings.

There are many reasons that God allows us to suffer, and often, we won’t know the reasons until much later. The key is to let go of trying to control God, and to know that God really does love you and want what is best for you. Sometimes, what is best for us is not what we want or even what we think we need.

When God gives us more than we can handle alone, it is often because He wants us to lean on Him. There is nothing we cannot handle with God’s help–there is no cross that will crush us if we let God carry us. But it’s so very hard to do; we want to be in control. We want God to do it our way. We want to decide what is best. We want to determine what is good and bad, and do everything we can to avoid the bad. But sometimes, our definitions of “good” and “bad” are a little… off.

Trystero, I’ve BTDT. I’m a mom. It’s hard to accept that a loving parent would ever allow a child to suffer in any way, but the truth is, sometimes we must, in order to allow the child to become stronger or healthier, or to learn what they need to learn to get through life.

The presence of evil and suffering in the world is difficult to accept and understand, because we often seem to think that love is about preventing all suffering–we hate to see those we love suffer in any way. But when we know that a certain kind of suffering is truly necessary for their well-being, in love, we know we must allow it… but we also* suffer with them through it.* And that is love.

God is with us through all of it. Even through our anger at Him. He is there, and He does care. I wish I had proof of this for you, but I only have my own faith, and my own experiences of it. I know of His love and care because I have experienced it, but not because I can explain it or prove it.

Anyway, to the OP: you and your family have my prayers.

I am 42 wish I was 22 and I want those 20 years back for all the garbage I was forced into. I owuld be happy if God would finaly have some mercy on me and let me have my heart’s desire. I can’t go on anymore and I am tired. Everything is stale… prayer begging and any other avenue I have tried. Even even accepting this misery . I then think maybe now is the time, and nope same ole same ole. Bill collectors unsuccess eventhough I have talent in music and Dressage, I get to take backseat to other people. there is a guy down the road from me 7 miles from me, I mastered my instrument and he is playing for Doyle Lawson and i get to OH BHHHHHHOOOOOOYYYY play in jams and bars. Whoopty. Not to be jealious, but just a point that I am trying to make. god bless that guy. God has been great to him. I feel now it is my turn, God still don’t obviously. I have ridden grandprix dressage horses, but I am not riding horses now, and that is getting quite old. then I am at seminary and I have to deal with undergrad courses cause when i was at the NORMAL age for college I had to work and support the household. Of course there is this seminarian that is totally for abortion and he is a priest and I am not when I think that he needs the undergrad courses!!! Not to air my dirty laundry, but when will i ever see releif??? When oh when my God will you help me and give me rest?? ?? I know God loves me and I know he is real and I know that he has his best interest in me, but I got to have a little joy soon or I will implode. I can understand why people take pills get drunk get high. i am not ever to that point but I do totally understand why people numb their pain with a bottle. When all God has to do is give them a little water on thier tongue hear and respond to our lament. If people were allowed their heart’s desires there would be whole lot less crime much more charity and a much better world and frankly i am ready for the Second coming and I pray PRAY He don’t tarry another day. I am never going to turn my back on God, though he makes me feel ike he did me, which of course that is my silly thoughts. But I will never turn my back on the Church nor God. but I am angry and frustrated and had my fill thank you very much,

 

[Maria1993]

He has not abandoned you.

I am 19 and have been through some big hardships in my life. I struggled, I cried, I did not even know if I was going to make it through. And looking back a year later, and as insane and crazy this would have seemed a year ago to me, I am so thankful for that. Because if it wasnt for that I would have never returned to the church, gone to confession after about 7 years. Things I know now I did not know. I suffered physically and mentally. I was tempted. I had spiritual attacks. And I remained and got even closer to God, because he was the only one who could pull me out of those waters. I said I wanted to be a warrior, I fought a battle along with God, we defeated it and here I am. But the war remains in this world and we must not give up.

I am thankful I have a great family, food and a home. Things have not always been happy go lucky, but we must persevere. I often listen to a song that has the line of ‘You said I know that this will hurt, but if I dont break your heart things will just get worse. If the burden seems too much to bare, remember, the end will justify the
pain it took to get us there.’

I was a lukewarm, cradle catholic, who ‘hated religion’ and thought ‘humanity was a plague’, and I projected that proudly scribbling it on my backpack and binder. But if I did not have my heart broken, things would have gotten worse! It was through that brokeness that God said ‘Hey, you’re not going down the right path.’ I reflected upon who I was and the things I did, sins I had commited, everything. I don’t have the same mentality as before, and I am still changing, I am not perfect, still struggle with sin, but I now know I have Jesus to lean on.

I would say and think “When God when will you pick me up? When will this suffering stop?” and when I least expected it, it was gone. We must let God know how we feel, we are hurt, we are angry…etc. Let him know.
Sometimes God says yes, sometimes not yet, and sometimes no, there is something better.

Putting away your cross or rosary wont help you feel any better, the hurt will remain, only bottled up. Let God know how you feel, and pray for his will be done. If anything, now is the time you must persevere and pray. Don’t let satan get you down.

As for the people who have things we do not have, and are not ‘good people’, I only say this: Do not envy the cheese the mouse has in it’s trap

 

[jenny05037]

The past three years have been a slow descent of ever increasing pain for me and my family. Every possible thing that could go wrong has gone wrong. We are a very faithful Catholic family and prayer (particularly to St. Anthony) has been a staple of our lives. I certainly understand that things could be worse and that many people do go through worse circumstances. But just because someone is in greater pain, does not make mine hurt any less.
Yesterday, I was informed that a company that was considering hiring me has decided to pass on me. This makes a year out of work and my last real employment option is now officially gone. I, and members of my family, devoted so much prayer to this job. The past three years have been one crushing defeat after another. Now, in my early 40’s, I’m single, have no friends and no job. Despite the adversity, I had been immensely optimistic and positive, but I am now truly at the end of my rope. I can’t face the prospect of a life devoid of any happiness whatsoever. This job was the last string that I was clinging to.
I took the crucifix off my wall and threw it in a drawer along with my rosary. After a completely sleepless night, I’m walking around in a daze feeling as though I’ve been kicked in the gut. God has completely abandoned me and prayer feels like a useless charade. I loved being Catholic, but now I just feel foolish speaking to the walls when no one is listening.
I’m not looking for pity or consolation. I just needed to get this off my chest.

God will never leave you my child.

 

[scoobydoo6v92]

I sometimes wonder whether people believe that they are here to serve God, or God is there to serve them.

It is easy to proclaim faith. It is even easy to live by it. What is difficult however, is to live by a faith that you do not have.

The trials in our lives are not God’s way of testing our faith, they are simply life’s way of revealing it.

I am sorry if life has given you more than you can bear, and I have no right to judge you, but neither have you the right to judge God. The one person that we all have the right to judge, is ourselves. Perhaps you should start there.

Not judging God, judging the way my life has been the past 10 years. It has been hell. If it smells like garbage looks like garbage and feels like garbage, I can lie to myself and God and spray it with flowery scents,and say how WONDERFUL it is, but the flies will still orbit the garbage and it is still garbage. So many people say how wonderful it is when inside they are crumbling and in misery. be honest with God tell him how you feel and that it is too much. If you are mad at him tell him. Lukewarm is not God’s way Hot or Cold… but not lukewarm. I am many things and many bad things meaning sinner, but I am NOT lukewarm NO!!!

 

[The_Revelator]

Not judging God, judging the way my life has been the past 10 years. It has been hell. If it smells like garbage looks like garbage and feels like garbage, I can lie to myself and God and spray it with flowery scents,and say how WONDERFUL it is, but the flies will still orbit the garbage and it is still garbage. So many people say how wonderful it is when inside they are crumbling and in misery. be honest with God tell him how you feel and that it is too much. If you are mad at him tell him. Lukewarm is not God’s way Hot or Cold… but not lukewarm. I am many things and many bad things meaning sinner, but I am NOT lukewarm NO!!!

Faith, is being happy with whatever you have, even if that is nothing. God could give you all the riches in the world, but it would not give you faith, it would only disguise your lack of it, as it does with many people. It is only when one is without faith, that one truly has nothing.

If God were to grant you all your prayers, and yet you lacked faith, He would have given you nothing. If you, or anyone you know, has ever prayed that God might give you faith, this is God answering that prayer.

 

[The_Revelator]

I am many things and many bad things meaning sinner, but I am NOT lukewarm NO!!!

I’m sorry scoobydoo6v92, but you are exactly lukewarm. You must either accept God completely and unconditionally, or you must reject Him. Anything else is lukewarm.

If you accept God, and the choices He has made for your life, then why are you complaining?

 

[scoobydoo6v92]

I’m sorry scoobydoo6v92, but you are exactly lukewarm. You must either accept God completely and unconditionally, or you must reject Him. Anything else is lukewarm.

If you accept God, and the choices He has made for your life, then why are you complaining?

I beg to differ with this statement. I am NOT lukewarm. I am COLD right now COLD. I have had it. I have gotten in trouble at seminary for heresy. who lost?? I did the one preaching heresy is the priest and I am sucking canal water! WHY??? BECAUSE I BELEIVE!!! I told my formation advisor that you cannot receive communion in a protestant church.He said i was the one that is wrong I told one priest that was a professor you cannot accept abortion UNDER ANY circumstances. He is the priest I am the layman. You know what else!!! I WOULD DO IT AGAIN. I am ANGRY with God I am not lukewarm!

 

[The_Revelator]

I beg to differ with this statement. I am NOT lukewarm. I am COLD right now COLD. I have had it. I have gotten in trouble at seminary for heresy. who lost?? I did the one preaching heresy is the priest and I am sucking canal water! WHY??? BECAUSE I BELEIVE!!! I told my formation advisor that you cannot receive communion in a protestant church.He said i was the one that is wrong I told one priest that was a professor you cannot accept abortion UNDER ANY circumstances. He is the priest I am the layman. You know what else!!! I WOULD DO IT AGAIN. I am ANGRY with God I am not lukewarm!

What do you want God to do? Do you want Him to make the world just and fair? I’m sorry. The world isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair. And even the Church isn’t fair. The righteous die, the innocent suffer, and good men do nothing. I can’t change that, and no matter how badly you may want to, you can’t change it either. The only thing that you can change is you, and if you’re really, really lucky, you might be able to change the heart of someone else. I know it isn’t enough, and I know it isn’t fair. But that’s the choice you have. Serve God, where He wants you to serve. Be content with what you have, because you have what you need. God has equipped you for the battle for which He has chosen you. I don’t know what that is, but I don’t need to know. All I know is that for everything there is a reason and a purpose. Even for the suffering and injustice.

Life is hard, and the innocent suffer, but righteous men persevere, and that is all He asks. Scream if you have to, curse if you must, but persevere. Not because I’m asking you to, or even because God commands you to, but because it is in you to do so. Even after all the injustice, some part of you must still want to believe. Somewhere inside you must still be hoping for an answer, or you wouldn’t be here. Unfortunately it’s an answer that I can’t give you. Why is life unfair? I don’t know. But I persevere because I have faith, for without faith, I have nothing, and what am I to do then?

 

[scoobydoo6v92]

What do you want God to do? Do you want Him to make the world just and fair? I’m sorry. The world isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair. And even the Church isn’t fair. The righteous die, the innocent suffer, and good men do nothing. I can’t change that, and no matter how badly you may want to, you can’t change it either. The only thing that you can change is you, and if you’re really, really lucky, you might be able to change the heart of someone else. I know it isn’t enough, and I know it isn’t fair. But that’s the choice you have. Serve God, where He wants you to serve. Be content with what you have, because you have what you need. God has equipped you for the battle for which He has chosen you. I don’t know what that is, but I don’t need to know. All I know is that for everything there is a reason and a purpose. Even for the suffering and injustice.

Life is hard, and the innocent suffer, but righteous men persevere, and that is all He asks. Scream if you have to, curse if you must, but persevere. Not because I’m asking you to, or even because God commands you to, but because it is in you to do so. Even after all the injustice, some part of you must still want to believe. Somewhere inside you must still be hoping for an answer, or you wouldn’t be here. Unfortunately it’s an answer that I can’t give you. Why is life unfair? I don’t know. But I persevere because I have faith, for without faith, I have nothing, and what am I to do then?

I am in full agreement that life isn’t fair. I am trying to mitigate this balance. I never ever waver in belief. I always will beleive in Christ the King of the Universe and The one triune Godhead and the Holy Catholic Church,. I am angry with God for my situation. I know it isn’t fair. I need help with the faith I am sure… but I will never turn my back on God and I will fight the fight. Just need a little reprieve (sp?) I want to have a little joy. My heart’s desire and I am holding God to Mk 11:23 and I am a person that don’t take no for an answer. I am in a desert and it is getting a little hot right now. But I will continue and with Grace die for Christ. Just because I am angry, dont mean that I don’t love God. and when I hear a heresey I risked my formation on it. someone has got to stand up for the right teachings especially in the seminary and that is another reason why I am sure I will never make it to priesthood as i am not a yesman nor will I sacrafice who I am or what I beleive in which is ALL of the teachings of the Holy Catholic Church. I have risked it before and will again for the Church. But I am angry with my situation and I am praying to rid myself of the anger and at the same time for a little relief and a little kernal of joy. Cmon God throw me a bone!!! Even the Dog gets a bone. I would think I am worth more than a Dog, God don’t make mistakes and don’t make junk therefore I am not junk nor a mistake. I love WHO I am , just don’t like where I am at 42 years old. That is how I feel.

 

[Maria1993]

If you haven’t tried scooby, see a priest for spiritual direction. Maybe try and get involved with your parish or causes?
I should do that too.