God has conquered me, I surrendered

[The_Catholic]

Hello brothers and sisters. After a long time of struggling with my faith, sinning horribly, and rolling my eyes at God, He finialy crushed my spirit, and tamed me

I feel very humble, very . . .submissive like I’ve never been before. I don’t care about getting the last word in an argument as I’ve always done. That was always my pride, and He showed me how much of a fool I was. I always thought I was something “special.” That I could change the world, marching in with so much Truth, and that I could show people how “wrong” they were. I was such an IDIOT! I’m not even a wise individual, I seem to get crushed everytime, never quite seem to know what I’m talking about, and I’m looked at as the fool that I am. I know I’m weak, so I don’t try to do that anymore. I don’t feel like my job here is to teach, I’m not a teacher, I don’t know how to talk to people about God, I just don’t. But I can show it in my actions, which are more real.

God has shown me this, He has brought me to my knees before Him. Shown me my hideous sins (which I dare not mention) and I’ve weeped and weeped and weeped. I’ve been depressed for ever! And it was BECAUSE of my sins. I’ve given myself up to Him. I want to be His, I want to obey Him, I want to be owned by Him, forever. I don’t care about anything else, life doesn’t matter without Him. Some may call me a weaklin, butI feel happy. And I go to extremes. I’m either extremly dominant and angry, or extremely submissive and happy. I prefer the latter. Thank you for all your prayers in the past. Frequently I’d come on (like a little brother running and crying to his sisters and brothers) and ask you all for prayers because of my saddness. God has answered. I don’t want to go away from Him ever again. I can’t stop weeping when I talk to Him. I can feel His presence like never before. It’s wonderful. I don’t want this “high” to go away.

Thank you all

 

[tm30]

Thank you so much for posting that. I keep waiting for God to finish crushing me. He is still painfully extricating my pride. I wish it would stop and I could hit rock bottom like you did. All I know right now is sadness.

 

[The_Catholic]

Thank you so much for posting that. I keep waiting for God to finish crushing me. He is still painfully extricating my pride. I wish it would stop and I could hit rock bottom like you did. All I know right now is sadness.

awww, I’ll pray for you every day my friend. I don’t have any words of wisdom, so I can’t offer that, others I’m sure will. But I’ll pray for you. Just realize how AEWSOME God is and be humble to Him. Don’t give up!

 

[myfavoritmartin]

awww, I’ll pray for you every day my friend. I don’t have any words of wisdom, so I can’t offer that, others I’m sure will. But I’ll pray for you. Just realize how AEWSOME God is and be humble to Him. Don’t give up!

Welcome to HIS family.
Have great week and always gear it to Matt 6:33
HIS slave and bond servant,
Simon

 

[NonDenom]

Hello brothers and sisters. After a long time of struggling with my faith, sinning horribly, and rolling my eyes at God, He finialy crushed my spirit, and tamed me

I feel very humble, very . . .submissive like I’ve never been before. I don’t care about getting the last word in an argument as I’ve always done. That was always my pride, and He showed me how much of a fool I was. I always thought I was something “special.” That I could change the world, marching in with so much Truth, and that I could show people how “wrong” they were. I was such an IDIOT! I’m not even a wise individual, I seem to get crushed everytime, never quite seem to know what I’m talking about, and I’m looked at as the fool that I am. I know I’m weak, so I don’t try to do that anymore. I don’t feel like my job here is to teach, I’m not a teacher, I don’t know how to talk to people about God, I just don’t. But I can show it in my actions, which are more real.

God has shown me this, He has brought me to my knees before Him. Shown me my hideous sins (which I dare not mention) and I’ve weeped and weeped and weeped. I’ve been depressed for ever! And it was BECAUSE of my sins. I’ve given myself up to Him. I want to be His, I want to obey Him, I want to be owned by Him, forever. I don’t care about anything else, life doesn’t matter without Him. Some may call me a weaklin, butI feel happy. And I go to extremes. I’m either extremly dominant and angry, or extremely submissive and happy. I prefer the latter. Thank you for all your prayers in the past. Frequently I’d come on (like a little brother running and crying to his sisters and brothers) and ask you all for prayers because of my saddness. God has answered. I don’t want to go away from Him ever again. I can’t stop weeping when I talk to Him. I can feel His presence like never before. It’s wonderful. I don’t want this “high” to go away.

Thank you all

Hi The Catholic
Glad to hear the good news, I’ll be keeping you in my Prayers.

 

[Teflon93]

May God bless and keep you.

The hard work now is to not beat yourself up over the past. God loves you; do not demean His love for you by not loving yourself.

Remember the prodigal son, and the joy of the father at his return.

If you think you’re joyful, just imagine how happy you’ve made God!

 

[DanteAlighieri]

I can feel His presence like never before. It’s wonderful. I don’t want this “high” to go away.

Praise God – I’m happy to hear about your conversion, TC!

I would like to offer some advice, however – gleaned both from my own experience and that of others.

I know you don’t want that feeling to go away, but you must accept that it probably will at some point. It may be that God wants you to thirst for him, or it could be that something goes wrong and you fall into your old mindset and push Him away. Just know that, even if you don’t continue feeling His presence, He is there with you every step.

Those are the moments in which your prayers are most needed, as well as most effective.

Godspeed, and welcome home!

Peace,
Dante

 

[AngelsAmongUs]

What a wonderful testimony.

God is so loving. Only a loving Father would show His children their mistakes and weaknesses. This is the only way we are able to grow and become more like Him. To see and want to change our shortcomings is a blessing from God. To repent of our sins is necessary, but first we have to be aware of what they are. We are His children and He only wants the best for us. And what is best for us is Him. More often than not we have to get out of our own way and this usually, if not always, comes from pride. So, if we need a kick in the pants in order for God to do His will for us, then I welcome a good kick in the pants whenever I need it. And it’s usually about every day.

So, Congratulations on getting squashed like a bug. We are nothing without God and can do nothing outside of his Grace.

Oh and Dante is right. The “high” will most likely fade, but rest assured His Presence is always there. Our Priest just talked about this very thing last week.

 

[misslollipops]

Hello brothers and sisters. After a long time of struggling with my faith, sinning horribly, and rolling my eyes at God, He finialy crushed my spirit, and tamed me

I feel very humble, very . . .submissive like I’ve never been before. I don’t care about getting the last word in an argument as I’ve always done. That was always my pride, and He showed me how much of a fool I was. I always thought I was something “special.” That I could change the world, marching in with so much Truth, and that I could show people how “wrong” they were. I was such an IDIOT! I’m not even a wise individual, I seem to get crushed everytime, never quite seem to know what I’m talking about, and I’m looked at as the fool that I am. I know I’m weak, so I don’t try to do that anymore. I don’t feel like my job here is to teach, I’m not a teacher, I don’t know how to talk to people about God, I just don’t. But I can show it in my actions, which are more real.

God has shown me this, He has brought me to my knees before Him. Shown me my hideous sins (which I dare not mention) and I’ve weeped and weeped and weeped. I’ve been depressed for ever! And it was BECAUSE of my sins. I’ve given myself up to Him. I want to be His, I want to obey Him, I want to be owned by Him, forever. I don’t care about anything else, life doesn’t matter without Him. Some may call me a weaklin, butI feel happy. And I go to extremes. I’m either extremly dominant and angry, or extremely submissive and happy. I prefer the latter. Thank you for all your prayers in the past. Frequently I’d come on (like a little brother running and crying to his sisters and brothers) and ask you all for prayers because of my saddness. God has answered. I don’t want to go away from Him ever again. I can’t stop weeping when I talk to Him. I can feel His presence like never before. It’s wonderful. I don’t want this “high” to go away.

Thank you all

Praise God you’ve been born again!

 

[Holly3278]

What a truly awesome testimony. I went through something somewhat similar. I was always questioning things since my conversion to Catholicism. I would run away from the Church and then come crawling back hoping that people wouldn’t hate me for doing it yet again. Finally, God showed me that His Church is the one true Church and I just gave in and submitted to Him. Now I am trying my best to not let second thoughts get in the way and I am doing my best to follow the Church to the best of my ability. Praise be to God, I am home at last!

 

[The_Catholic]

Praise God – I’m happy to hear about your conversion, TC!

I would like to offer some advice, however – gleaned both from my own experience and that of others.

I know you don’t want that feeling to go away, but you must accept that it probably will at some point. It may be that God wants you to thirst for him, or it could be that something goes wrong and you fall into your old mindset and push Him away. Just know that, even if you don’t continue feeling His presence, He is there with you every step.

Those are the moments in which your prayers are most needed, as well as most effective.

Godspeed, and welcome home!

Peace,
Dante

Thank you. I know that, I’m aware.

P.S. What is WRONG with me?? I cannot stop crying! Your post has brought tears to my eyes. Especialy “He may want you to thirst for Him.” The idea of God wanting me? Why? I’m a fool!

Thank you, all of you, now let’s pray for tm.

 

[BanksOfTheTiber]

“The LORD bless you and keep you; The LORD make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.’

 

[blessedstar]

Thank you. I know that, I’m aware.

P.S. What is WRONG with me?? I cannot stop crying! Your post has brought tears to my eyes. Especialy “He may want you to thirst for Him.” The idea of God wanting me? Why? I’m a fool!

Thank you, all of you, now let’s pray for tm.

There’s nothing wrong with you. God wounds and He heals. God has most delectably wounded you and shown you your ‘self’ as it truly is, now with sweet tears He is healing you and in due course He will recreate you if you stay on His path and follow His ways as He leads you.

You will not stay in one section of the road any longer than God wills for the benefit of your soul, so if you have joy and consolation thank Him and if you cannot sense Him and feel dry as a desert thank Him.

I am very pleased and over joyed for you.

Thank God for everything.

In the Living Prayer of my life

 

[Anne1964]

I think I may be going through something similar now. I have several very persistent sins I just can’t seem to eradicate from my life. Last week I prayed to God to show me the consequences of those sins, even though I was afraid to see what they might be.

Well, He definitely answered my prayer and for the last five days I have been shown time and time again just what those consequences are and how my sins have hurt others. He has forced me to see what I have done, and it hurts. I can no longer hide from myself and pretend everything is ok. God has shown me what I need to do, and of course, the first step is to go to confession.

 

[Teflon93]

I think I may be going through something similar now. I have several very persistent sins I just can’t seem to eradicate from my life. Last week I prayed to God to show me the consequences of those sins, even though I was afraid to see what they might be.

Well, He definitely answered my prayer and for the last five days I have been shown time and time again just what those consequences are and how my sins have hurt others. He has forced me to see what I have done, and it hurts. I can no longer hide from myself and pretend everything is ok. God has shown me what I need to do, and of course, the first step is to go to confession.

That is simply a wonderful example of a prayer being granted.

 

[InLight247]

Dear TC:

How good it is to hear your wonderful conversion, thanks be to God!

Continue to allow yourself be vulnerable to God.
Only by doing so, His grace can be fully infused and responded.

I suggest you to do one hour Eucharist Adoration everyday.
Make a holy hour by spending quiet time in front of the tabernacle, praying.

Even the sweet emotional feelings will eventually go away, being in the physical presence of the Lord will keep your heart burning. I am talking out of personal experience. Regular adoration avails much.

Jesus is inside of the tabernacle. The Host does not have to be exposed though it will be better if is.

God bless!

 

[TOP]

1 Corinthians 4: 5 Therefore judge not before the time; until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts; and then shall every man have praise from God.

It sounds like a taste of what is an illumination of conscience/self in the light that is the Lord. It is a great gift as well as something you should try to get spiritual direction with. Stay close to the sacraments of the Church, confessing what faults where exposed in this light. Meditate on the sorrowful mysteries to see the consequences of sin as they effect the Lord. Comfort His agony with your contrition. Then ask for His mercy as these sins are the cause of His passion. You have this light with you and will attract many souls in an unknowing way. Don’t leave the light to meet them, but bring them to the source of light, our Lord Jesus Christ. You are not alone in this wonderful and even God fearing experience. Praise God, Tim

 

[Stylteralmaldo]

…I wish it would stop and I could hit rock bottom like you did. All I know right now is sadness.

I’ll instead pray that you will turn to Him before you hit rock bottom. We should never want to hit rock bottom.

God does not want us to suffer. Yes, suffering may come our way.

Could we hit rock bottom? Yes.

Should we hit rock bottom? This question doesn’t even enter into the discussion when it comes to God’s will for us.

 

[The_Catholic]

1 Corinthians 4: 5 Therefore judge not before the time; until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts; and then shall every man have praise from God.

It sounds like a taste of what is an illumination of conscience/self in the light that is the Lord. It is a great gift as well as something you should try to get spiritual direction with. Stay close to the sacraments of the Church, confessing what faults where exposed in this light. Meditate on the sorrowful mysteries to see the consequences of sin as they effect the Lord. Comfort His agony with your contrition. Then ask for His mercy as these sins are the cause of His passion. You have this light with you and will attract many souls in an unknowing way. Don’t leave the light to meet them, but bring them to the source of light, our Lord Jesus Christ. You are not alone in this wonderful and even God fearing experience. Praise God, Tim

“Meditate on the Sorrowful Mysteries.” Honestly, I’ve never really prayed those prayers before. Now I want to SO BAD! Especialy the other day when I was in a book store and saw a book called “Visions of Mary.” I really want to pray the rosary now. I’m feeling called to it. Also, I want to go outside at night by myself in a quiet spot and pray it. That’s what my life is lacking, prayer. I need to pray more.

I know this “high” will go away, but oh I don’t want it too, I know that’s selfish, I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I want to go and preach to everyone. But I can’t, I’m not wise in theology, but I am in my actions and perhaps I could preach that way. You know, like St. Francis of Assisi did Lol, his writings, and life melt my heart into goo

 

[The_Catholic]

I think I may be going through something similar now. I have several very persistent sins I just can’t seem to eradicate from my life. Last week I prayed to God to show me the consequences of those sins, even though I was afraid to see what they might be.

Well, He definitely answered my prayer and for the last five days I have been shown time and time again just what those consequences are and how my sins have hurt others. He has forced me to see what I have done, and it hurts. I can no longer hide from myself and pretend everything is ok. God has shown me what I need to do, and of course, the first step is to go to confession.

I know what you mean about certain sins that just keep hold on you. It’s depressing. The sins “feel” good, but at the same time bring such horrid misery, and lonliness. That’s how I felt. I’ll pray for you my friend.