God has let me down

[oikumene]

I recommend the St. Pio Center for Deliverance Counseling, especially doing the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. You can get that information through their Help Page.

Thanks.

 

[Noske]

Well, I think everyone has already said what needs to be said in regards to your questions. But I’d just like to let you know that you’ll be in my prayers, as I felt a sudden need to do so for you.

Although I can’t say that my problems are anywhere near as bad as yours, I have a small understanding of the anxiety thing. I hate going places without planning everything out first, and I tend to want to know every little detail about something in case it all goes pear-shaped. I worry a bit about things, but I do a fairly good job at not letting it show too much. So I feel for you on that account. It’s good that you’re acknowledging it.

But yeah, I’d take the advice that the other people are giving you. Try to de-stress a little too. Maybe try something like yoga or tai chi. Meditation always works well if you don’t want to spend money on professional classes.

And if you’re not too sure about meditation, then just sit in silence after praying for a while. God might be sitting up there in the clouds with his airsoft “Gun of Blessings”, and he just can’t hit you because you aren’t taking the time to sit still and wait for him to aim.

 

[Nita]

St. John Vianney (Cure of Ars) is a favorite saint of mine. Here is a saying of his that made a strong impression on me - and might help you:

“I have had crosses in plenty – more than I could carry almost! I set myself to ask for the love of crosses – then I was happy.”

(If you are not familiar with St. John Vianney, he was a victim soul - someone who underwent sufferings on behalf of other souls.)

I will be praying for you,
Nita

 

[bilop]

Nothing to add to the other excellent posts. Just wanted to say I will say a prayer for you and Tessi.

God Bless

 

[Brian_Millar]

I was a great believer in God but my faith dwindled with every wave of calamity in my life. I think there is a limit how much a person can take.

I have lost faith in God and Jesus and this lack of faith took a process.

Satan has vouched to destroy me with all costs because he knows the good I have done in my life but it seems that God will not allow him.

I thought life was easy to live but unfortunately it is not.

I just hope that God will someday get me out of this ‘pit’ but in the meantime I continue to live as God has His own reasons for me to suffer all this.

Thank you for your prayers and concern. It feels that I am not alone.

I delight in pulling people out of that pit, to put it more specifically, giving them ropes and ladders to pull themselves out and a shovel for filling it in afterwards.

Do you want out? If so, it’s time to lean on the Lord more then ever, stop trying to work out your own salvation, let Christ take care of that one, afterall, he’s already suffered for us so that we don’t have to. This is not to say that all that are saved will not suffer, it’s said that suffering produces character, why the word addresses this is clear, that we all are going to suffer from time to time, it’s how we handle it that matters.

To extrapolate from what you are saying here. You are in the state of self loathing, this is not the same as humility, this is something you are needing to pull yourself out of. You are also shy, again, there are tools you can use to get over it, I used to be painfully shy as well, now you can’t shut me up, one quick tool I’ll give you there is to develop your sense of humor, you will find people warm up to you more easily if you can make them laugh.

Coming out of your shell doesn’t mean dropping your faith, it means spending more time in a social enviroment, the church will do just fine without all of your time dedicated to volunteering to help, let someone else help as well, there are people that would benifet from it believe it or not.

The initial key that gets you to understand how you feel, of which is unjustified since you are against you, is to know that depression creates a chemicle imbalance, that to know what it is does not derrive from your actions where you are punishing yourself, where you feel you deserve to feel this way is the starting point. Look at it for what it is and know it’s something that feeds into itself. So, you become depressed, the chemical structure changes, thus making you more depressed and it locks you into that state in an endless circle. You gotta stand outside of that, look at it for what it is and know that you ultimately are in control of how you feel, and you can change these structures through thought alone.

Here is a tool I used many years ago when I was in a really miserable state of mind and it worked well, this is taken from the book, “the power of positive thinking”. For every negative, self loathing thought you have, immediately say out loud the opposite 10 times, try your best to mean it and make it a clear, concise statement. 10 positives always trump 1 negative. Your path at current is to learn how to be your own best friend instead of right now where you are your own worse enemy.

Where people go wrong is when they misinterpret what is taught in the bible and avoid thinking better of themselves. What was taught applied mainly to people that were decadent, where self love was their primary thoughts, and they took things too far, so a little humility and coming back in line with God was in order. In your case, you are seperating yourself from God because you don’t consider yourself worthy. Trust me on this, you are worthy for him to Love. Something to also understand, it’s stated how we all fall short, take note of the word “all”, this applies to every living human being, not just you. It is enough to strive to follow what he wants us to live by, but know we will fail, it’s the fact that we pick up the cross again, dust off our knees and move forward to the best of our abilities, we live by God’s grace, and that is our salvation, he makes up for our own inadequecies.

Also know this, again, standing outside of yourself, seeing yourself free from depression and it’s false thoughts it creates, that you will be drawn again back to God, so there is no reason to leave in the first place, consider it a test of your faith and that during the darkest hour, there is only one set of footprints in the sand, they are not yours, but him carrying you through it. He feels your pain right along side of you, he wishes you to feel better and wants you to be happy, let him reveal the path for you and keep your eyes open for he works in mysterious ways. You are not alone my friend, you are not the only person to have been walking the path you do, and you will not be the last. Perhaps some day when you are completely free of this pit, you will be able to use your past experiences to help others out of theirs, just as I am doing here. We can be much, much more effective counselors because of our experiences then one that was only trained in school.

I want you to re-affirm your faith in God and Christ, and I want the Holy Spirit to reveal himself to you on a physical and spiritual level, to guide you, to keep you company and to comfort you during times of disress and to delight with you during times of joy, ultimately guiding and teaching you and revealing a closer relationship to the All Mighty. Keep talking on this thread and please, as others mentioned, get in touch with your clergy, they are there to help, afterall, you have been helping them as well, it’s time they gave back a little, for this lamb is wandering away from the flock, a good shepard will always go out of his way to bring them back.