God has not blessed my girlfriend and mine's relationship

[Epistemes]

I cannot help but feel that God has abandoned me due to pursuing a relationship with my girlfriend, even though there is nothing wrong with her. She is Catholic and attends Mass regularly. She is a very good person, too - much better than me! I don’t think it’s because of her that God has abandoned me, but because of me. I try to live the faith in our relationship; we speak often of religion, and she says she would like to read Story of a Soul with me; I even think of our relationship as a prayer of love and self-giving, it’s the closest thing to the Gospel I’ve lived in a long time, to be sure. But God has abandoned me. I will not stop trying, though, to make our relationship holy. I, of course, pray for chastity on both our parts. Hopefully God will bless our relationship someday.

 

[kib]

Epistemes, why do you think God has abandoned you?

I used to hate the “Footprints in the Sand” poem. I thought it was cheesy. Now that I am older, it makes a lot of sense.

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:

“LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you’d walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me.”

The LORD replied:

“My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.”

 

[trish_scotland]

It sounds like you have found a very nice lady there!
Why do you feel that God has abandoned you?
GOD LOVES YOU!!!
Keep praying because god is with you and he will always be with you i am sure that two good folks together is a good thing not bad Im sure god is smiling on you. I used to think that God abandoned me for a long time but that is another story and i have come to realise that it was me who was lost but i found god again and he found me. God bless you.

 

[crazzeto]

God will never abandon you, you can not be seperated from Christ other than by your own choice to intentionally sin against God unrepentantly, and even though only after your death and final judgment.

It’s possible though, that this one might not be the right one for you. Have you considered that? Not that there’s anything wrong with this lady, but some times it just doesn’t work for reasons unknown. God knows us better than we know our selves, when it’s right you’ll know, because God almost certainly will have selected that person for you.

 

[novaslasher]

It sounds like you have been blessed, not abandoned. Why would you think this?

If your girlfriend is truly faithful and God fearing, then be inspired by her. One thing my gf and I did early in our relationship was to go on a Catholic young adult retreat for a weekend. It helped us to share our faith and was a wonderful way to thank God for our blessings.

 

[Trishie]

God hasn’t abandoned you. We don’t necessarily have warm feelings and a sense of closeness to God, or even a sense of God.
God is in an ordinary life lived well, according to the commandments of God.

If the ordinary wasn’t sacred God would not have become incarnate as a baby who needed His diaper changed like any other baby. He would have come on earth as a glorious adult, fully formed.
No Jesus proved that the ordinary is sacred.

Feelings aren’t a good measure of our relationship to God. I would say most of us can have long periods of not feeling close to God and not feeling blessed.
Jesus didn’t promise that we would always have the sense of God, and the sense of God’s blessing. If He had, I’d give up, because I battle along to, often in confusion, often not sure if I’m doing the best thing, if God is listening, not sure if I haven’t lost the track. Many of us struggle sometimes for long periods.

Jesus God and man asked us to live in practical charity to others, and that if you do, He takes that practical charity as given to Him. And when He described the Last Judgement, the people were surprised that their kindnesses were taken very personally by Him, and that they thereby had chosen heaven
I hope you won’t damage what sounds like a blessed relationship by picking things apart thinking it isn’t blessed.

Wishing you and your girlfriend happiness and peace.

 

[LindaSK]

Epistemes, why do you think God has abandoned you?

I used to hate the “Footprints in the Sand” poem. I thought it was cheesy. Now that I am older, it makes a lot of sense.

Epistemes, why do you think God has abandoned you? Like everyone else here, without seeming to pry, I guess I am curious to understand what would make you feel “abandoned” - you haven’t been, you know. Have the two of you met with a priest to discuss your concerns? Maybe you could meet with a priest you trust and seek some spiritual direction as a couple.

I, personally, never thought ‘Footprints in the Sand’ was “cheesy!” In fact, I recently passed it along to a girl who was feeling very alone. God made you - check out Psalm 139 - and He loves you. I have no way of knowing what His plans are for you, but, I know He would never abandon any of His children.

God bless.

 

[kib]

Epistemes, why do you think God has abandoned you? Like everyone else here, without seeming to pry, I guess I am curious to understand what would make you feel “abandoned” - you haven’t been, you know. Have the two of you met with a priest to discuss your concerns? Maybe you could meet with a priest you trust and seek some spiritual direction as a couple.

I, personally, never thought ‘Footprints in the Sand’ was “cheesy!” In fact, I recently passed it along to a girl who was feeling very alone. God made you - check out Psalm 139 - and He loves you. I have no way of knowing what His plans are for you, but, I know He would never abandon any of His children.

God bless.

I’m confused. Did you intentionally quote me? I’m confused about what was be directed toward me and what was intended for Epistemes.

 

[LindaSK]

I’m confused. Did you intentionally quote me? I’m confused about what was be directed toward me and what was intended for Epistemes.

Sorry, I confuse myself sometimes! I got interrupted midstream, so, I guess I wasn’t especially coherent. Let me try again…

I did intentionally quote you because I had the same question you did for Epistemes. I also thought ‘Footprints’ was a great suggestion and reminder that God never leaves us! As I said, I have shared it in the past.

So -
Epistemes, why do you think God has abandoned you? Like everyone else here, without seeming to pry, I guess I am curious to understand what would make you feel “abandoned” - you haven’t been, you know. Have the two of you met with a priest to discuss your concerns? Maybe you could meet with a priest you trust and seek some spiritual direction as a couple.

AND
*
God made you - check out Psalm 139 - and He loves you. I have no way of knowing what His plans are for you, but, I know He would never abandon any of His children.*

God bless.

kib,
I, personally, never thought ‘Footprints in the Sand’ was “cheesy!” In fact, I recently passed it along to a girl who was feeling very alone.

Yeah, that was a pretty bad post. Sorry, it’s been one of those days! But, I started it with Mass first thing, so I did get some things right today, though I forgot my candle to be blessed. Like the movie ‘Groundhog Day’ - how appropriate! - sometimes, it might be nice to have a chance to redo the day and get it right!! Then again…

I hope I did better the second time around.

Peace!

 

[kage_ar]

We are not to rely on our feelings, they lie. Jesus promised “I will never leave you or forsake you”. God does not abandon anyone.

You have free will and can CHOOSE to walk away from God.

If you have done that, go to confession and turn around and run back to Him.

 

[kib]

Sorry, I confuse myself sometimes! I got interrupted midstream, so, I guess I wasn’t especially coherent. Let me try again…

I did intentionally quote you because I had the same question you did for Epistemes. I also thought ‘Footprints’ was a great suggestion and reminder that God never leaves us! As I said, I have shared it in the past.

So -
Epistemes, why do you think God has abandoned you? Like everyone else here, without seeming to pry, I guess I am curious to understand what would make you feel “abandoned” - you haven’t been, you know. Have the two of you met with a priest to discuss your concerns? Maybe you could meet with a priest you trust and seek some spiritual direction as a couple.

AND
*
God made you - check out Psalm 139 - and He loves you. I have no way of knowing what His plans are for you, but, I know He would never* abandon any of His children.

God bless.

kib,
I, personally, never thought ‘Footprints in the Sand’ was “cheesy!” In fact, I recently passed it along to a girl who was feeling very alone.

Yeah, that was a pretty bad post. Sorry, it’s been one of those days! But, I started it with Mass first thing, so I did get some things right today, though I forgot my candle to be blessed. Like the movie ‘Groundhog Day’ - how appropriate! - sometimes, it might be nice to have a chance to redo the day and get it right!! Then again…

I hope I did better the second time around.

Peace!

No worries!

 

[kib]

Epistemes, I can’t help but feel like you tend to self-destruct form reading your posts in the past. Do you think your feelings may be related to these tendencies? Don’t let your emotional health problems ruin a good thing for you! A good Catholic woman/ man is very hard to come by these days.

 

[TraderTif]

Epistemes, I can’t help but feel like you tend to self-destruct form reading your posts in the past. Do you think your feelings may be related to these tendencies? Don’t let your emotional health problems ruin a good thing for you! A good Catholic woman/ man is very hard to come by these days.

I was thinking the very same thing when I saw this.

Epistemes, take a few deep breaths, a few deep prayers, and think about things for a bit.

 

[rayne89]

I tend to agree with the self-destruct comments. I’ve been reading your posts lately and it seems that you really over think things. Is scrupulosity a problem for you? It seems you have trouble just taking things one day at a time without analyzing each moment for possible pit falls or problems.

 

[StillWondering]

I tend to agree with the self-destruct comments. I’ve been reading your posts lately and it seems that you really over think things. Is scrupulosity a problem for you? It seems you have trouble just taking things one day at a time without analyzing each moment for possible pit falls or problems.

If Epistemes has some self-destructive comments, it would be hard for him to identify it himself. Maybe if someone can quote and explain, it would help Epistemes more directly.

 

[joandarc2008]

Epistemes it seems to me that you seem to start out very happy and then very shortly find something profoundly wrong without concrete evidence. A couple of weeks ago you had a girl in another thread practically diagnosed as learning disabled (same girl?) just because she was either goign too fast into a relationship or doing some light hearted flirting. Now, all of a sudden God has abandoned you? What evidence is there of this? It seems that you are either self sabotaging or bouncing between elation and depression.

 

[rayne89]

If Epistemes has some self-destructive comments, it would be hard for him to identify it himself. Maybe if someone can quote and explain, it would help Epistemes more directly.

I did not mean Epistemes makes self destructive comments - I meant I agreed with the others comments that Epistemes seems self destructive. His thread “Is there something wrong with me?” is a perfect example of someone examining every minute detail of a possible beginning of a relationship.

From that thread alone, if I go through and quote where I think Epistemes is being self destructive, over thinking etc he will probably become angry and be both defensive and self-deprecating because that is exactly what he did there when others pointed it out. There are other threads that connect the dots. After the thread I mentioned there was the “This girl I’m still talking to…(vent)” thread, “No longer single -why do I feel so horrible” thread. And now this thread. There is something in this young man that isn’t allowing him to be happy in the present and just enjoy life.

I’m not saying these things to be critical or point out Epistemes is defective in some way. We all have strengths and weaknesses. There are things in my personality I have to work on continually, and somethings I have worked on in the past and over come (for the most part). Maybe its time for Epistemes to look for an outside source in real life to get some perspective -possibly start with a spiritual director?

 

[ComputerGeek25]

Maybe its time for Epistemes to look for an outside source in real life to get some perspective -possibly start with a spiritual director?

Or even a trusted priest, or a [Catholic or Christian] therapist.

It would be more beneficial for people trained in this sort of thing to help him sort things out.

 

[ComputerGeek25]

I cannot help but feel that God has abandoned me due to pursuing a relationship with my girlfriend, even though there is nothing wrong with her. She is Catholic and attends Mass regularly. She is a very good person, too - much better than me! I don’t think it’s because of her that God has abandoned me, but because of me. I try to live the faith in our relationship; we speak often of religion, and she says she would like to read Story of a Soul with me; I even think of our relationship as a prayer of love and self-giving, it’s the closest thing to the Gospel I’ve lived in a long time, to be sure. But God has abandoned me. I will not stop trying, though, to make our relationship holy. I, of course, pray for chastity on both our parts. Hopefully God will bless our relationship someday.

This may come across harshly. What proof do you have of this? If you are living the faith and regularly reciving the sacraments (more specifically, going to Confession, going to mass and receiving the Eucharist) God has definately not left you. Is it possible He has taken a different form, that you are not use to?

The best thing I can suggest is to set up some regular occurring time with a spiritual director, preist, deacon, or a Christian/Catholic therapist. They are trained to help you sort things out.

 

[climer97007]

I cannot help but feel that God has abandoned me due to pursuing a relationship with my girlfriend, even though there is nothing wrong with her. I will not stop trying, though, to make our relationship holy. I, of course, pray for chastity on both our parts. Hopefully God will bless our relationship someday.

Epistemes, first off, I would say that ***you can not make ***your relationship Holy. Only God can make it Holy. The question is, when are you going to choose to cooperate with God?

You can pray for chastity, that is a good thing. You can also choose to be who you are. If you are single, then be Holy in your vocation as a single man. Would you rather pretend to be a married man?

It is not that God has abandoned you. It may well be that you are choosing to abandon God and to dwell in the pretense of sin. Hopefully, you will allow God to bless you today, now, not someday. Reconcile with God, today, now. Reject the temptations of the devil. Do not pretend to be someone you are not. Be who you are. God can not bless you unless you are willing to be blessed.

Gene