God has pushed me away so hard, I feel I can't even return

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Hi Contra! Thanks for your words. I trust all is good for you in our small and beautiful part of Europe? Sadly, I’m still living abroad, but I plan to return permanently very soon. I feel that my health here (Australia) has never been optimal, and only when I return do I really feel at peace. I’ve noticed the difference in quality of food definitely plays a role, as the overall standard of avaliable food here is incomparable to the fresh and clean stuff back home!. Thus, the silver-lining I can see in all of this is that it’s helped me make up my mind and remember my values.

I’m truly grateful for all the responses and recommendations in this thread. I’ll definitely be taking this “time-off” to re-evaluate some things and focus on being content with what I can do (I really do enjoy writing as well!).

Hello!
I am travelling home in two weeks and am so excited. I will stay for a month and enjoy some fresh air.

That is good that you have decided to return and feel at peace about it. I guess times of trial can be a blessing in disguise. Take care!

 

[Shino918]

Hahahahahaha!!! Our Lord is not a weak Lord, for he is the King of Kings, Lord of Lords! He NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER forsakes his sheep!!! Be at peace my friend!!! Your NAME is already written in His Book of Life, and you are A BELOVED SON OF THE MOST HIGH!! How do I know this? Because when I just now, looked at your username, and asked The Spirit, I “heard” “YES”. I read about your problems, and I suffer with you, but I will not even pray for you; I will instead, by the Holy Spirit invested in me by the Death and Resurrection of the most Merciful Lord of Lords, Agnus Dei, whose Kingdom shall never fall, let the Holy Spirit flow, from my soul, through my fingertips, into this computer, through all of the Internet, to YOU as you are reading this!! As to you and to all who are reading this, I am letting The Holy Spirit pour out buckets of Abundant Mercy over the top of your heads!! BE AT PEACE IN THE HOLY SPIRIT OF JESUS CHRIST!! HALLELUJAH!!!

 

[Rynard]

Hahahahahaha!!!

Are you a Protestant…? I think we were looking for more serious comments on a rather logical dilemma. I don’t think we meant to give you a laughing fit, following by a slew of rather emotional sentiments…

Don’t mind me, but I grew up around Protestants, and their chief thing they always shout at people is “The Holy Spirit [etc.].” Like, “The Holy Spirit moved me to realize THIS was the right church! the Methodist church, yes!” Well then, the Holy Spirit must be very confused.

A note ahead. If this comment is scathing or I should be noted to be less severe, let me know and I will cease from making comments like this from now on. Thanks, and have a good one. (I haven’t been stopped yet, so I dare to make another rather controversial one…)

 

[pocaracas]

Are you a Protestant…? I think we were looking for more serious comments on a rather logical dilemma. I don’t think we meant to give you a laughing fit, following by a slew of rather emotional sentiments…

Don’t mind me, but I grew up around Protestants, and their chief thing they always shout at people is “The Holy Spirit [etc.].” Like, “The Holy Spirit moved me to realize THIS was the right church! the Methodist church, yes!” Well then, the Holy Spirit must be very confused.

A note ahead. If this comment is scathing or I should be noted to be less severe, let me know and I will cease from making comments like this from now on. Thanks, and have a good one. (I haven’t been stopped yet, so I dare to make another rather controversial one…)

Why do you bother?
He’s a poe… and not a very good one.

 

[Shino918]

Are you a Protestant…? I think we were looking for more serious comments on a rather logical dilemma. I don’t think we meant to give you a laughing fit, following by a slew of rather emotional sentiments…

Don’t mind me, but I grew up around Protestants, and their chief thing they always shout at people is “The Holy Spirit [etc.].” Like, “The Holy Spirit moved me to realize THIS was the right church! the Methodist church, yes!” Well then, the Holy Spirit must be very confused.

A note ahead. If this comment is scathing or I should be noted to be less severe, let me know and I will cease from making comments like this from now on. Thanks, and have a good one. (I haven’t been stopped yet, so I dare to make another rather controversial one…)

My friend, I’m sorry if it seems I was in some way belittling the author of the thread, when I wrote that I was so overjoyed in spirit, and I still am! I actually have been so overjoyed in the Spirit this last week, I have been walking through my city with a smile on my face everyday, and prior to writing this I cried tears of joy. It was not an attempt to in any way belittle the author’s problems, however insignificant or severe they may be. That is why I am sending the Holy Spirit, in the shape of an arrow of Love, to you and the author and anyone reading this. Now you are thinking, “who does he think he is that he commands the Spirit?” but I tell you, I DO have this authority! I am a beloved son of the Most High, and he has given me, the most unworthy and carnal sinner, a new Spirit! I have realized what it means to be “born again”, because it has happened to me. I am Catholic FIY, and grew up like this, and I thought I knew the Lord, but I didn’t even know myself. What I am trying to say is, that if the author is filled with the Spirit, then all problems will go away and not only this, but he will have abundant grace and both spiritual and material riches in this life and the next.

Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

The peace of our Lord be always with you. And definitely praying for you.

 

[GF_Girl]

As someone with several chronic illnesses (Lupus, PCOS and possibly Celiac Disease/gluten intolerant-never got a formal diagnosis because doctors would not pay attention to my suffering because I was and am overweight), it is hard, it is so hard. I tried to fight it by myself, I can do this I am stronger than these illnesses, I will not back down. But it came to a point where I was no longer strong enough. So while my faith is not as strong as it was in my teens (but I am drawing closer to Him), I gave all my illnesses up to God, and He helped make my burden so much easier. all my illnesses are under control now. As hard as it is, pray to God to help you, give everything to God, even if you don’t believe, say it several times a day and you will start believing. The moment you start to believe, God will be there to help you. It is not fair, it is not fun, it is not what we asked for, but it is what God gave us. Who are we to question God. As others have said, God is preparing you for something, we don’t know what at the moment, just wait and see. I will keep you in my prayers!

 

[CaptFun]

It’s almost as if he’s given up on me, or dare I say punishing me. I’ve lost everything, including the will to do anything except sit around all day in agony.

I’ve been suffering from an ongoing illness (non-life threatening) which has now elevated to an extreme level. I’ve been in and out of hospital due to the pain. It hurts so much, all the time. Doctors are unable to find a clear diagnosis, and traditional painkillers or symptom management is not an option. It’s forced me to cut-out essentially everything from my diet; dairy, meat, bread, and coffee, and a long-list of fruits and vegetables. Not much I can eat. I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight as a result.

I had to quit my job in the interests of myself and my employer, after labouring all year to finally find a job and kick-start my career. My family is going away for the weekend, and I’m unfit to go with them. All of this has obviously taken a toll on my social life as well.

I’m 24 years old. Dare I say, these are the years of my life for living. I want to travel, progress in my career, invest in doing something I love, and so on.

Am I supposed to thank God for taking all of that away from me? I’m ill able to fathom how he could possibly be thinking “I want this to happen. This is my will. I have a plan”. Dare I say, his plan is extremely painful and neglecting. I feel like kindly requesting to be exempt from his plan, and let me live my own life without the agony and depression that he’s cornered me into, even though I’ve worked so hard to keep my life on track.

So, this is me. Far from God. The harder I knock, the further he pushes me away. It’s less destructive simply not to knock anymore.

Thank you for sharing your cross, heartbrokenness, seeming helplessness and sense of abandonment. I “listened”. That is I read all the above dear one.

I’m going through my own “crosses” tonight … but I would not swap with you. Our feelings are our feelings. Not wrong … but they can lead us there.

Given that little caution (for the both of us ) there’s a glimmer of good in all this.

Some of the greatest heroes and heroines of the Church have not only gone through inspiring persecutions of various natures … but also the “dark night of the soul”. Jesus may have gone through that Himself in the Garden. So He is close to us in our sufferings, anxieties, doubts, lonelinesses and desperation for control that alludes us.

Here is a hopeful promise for us:

John 6:37 Everything that the Father gives me will come to me, and I will not reject anyone who comes to me,

For all you’ve suffered and are suffering … you came here. Where you should find the body of Christ to console you, empathize, “listen” perhaps share a word of encouragement and affirmation. In that, you still are seeking Him when it is **hard **for you to do so! How beautiful. Men aren’t supposed to cry, but I’m tearing up. It’s probably His spirit. Seek him now in prayer perhaps. The person of the Holy Spirit is also called the consoler or comforter. And He has power.

Psalm 34:19 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, saves those whose spirit is crushed.

20 Many are the troubles of the just, but the LORD delivers from them all.

21 God watches over all their bones; not a one shall be broken.

22 Evil will slay the wicked; those who hate the just are condemned.

23 The LORD redeems loyal servants; no one is condemned whose refuge is God.

God bless you! You are in my prayers. :sad_yes: If you can pray for anyone ELSE now, it would be very powerful. Offer your suffering to the Lord perhaps. Like Jesus did! < I had no aspirin for you, so …this is ***the best *** I could do.

OH! And in one sense … we don’t have to “return” exactly … God is all around and knocking at our door. Bless your child abundantly Lord … with patience, courage, insights … and bless your child’s pain wracked body and guide the doctors to aid in the speedy recovery I appeal to you for. Amen :coolinoff:

 

[Rynard]

My friend, I’m sorry if it seems I was in some way belittling the author of the thread, when I wrote that I was so overjoyed in spirit, and I still am!

Sorry for being a total jerk… I was high on life yesterday and thought it was MYSELF to credit for my great feelings, and as it happened, I decided to dump on you. So I am all at fault for that. Rather, it was God gearing me up to teach me a lesson, and I was duly taught: that I am WEAK compared to Satan, and obviously God. I cannot compare to God, no matter how “holy” I feel. There will always be an infinity of difference between me and God. So again, apologies… I hope you get this message of apology.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Sorry for being a total jerk… I was high on life yesterday and thought it was MYSELF to credit for my great feelings, and as it happened, I decided to dump on you. So I am all at fault for that. Rather, it was God gearing me up to teach me a lesson, and I was duly taught: that I am WEAK compared to Satan, and obviously God. I cannot compare to God, no matter how “holy” I feel. There will always be an infinity of difference between me and God. So again, apologies… I hope you get this message of apology.

The Holy Spirit is such that all works for the good of those who believe, who are called etc. Rom 8:28

No misunderstandings, no realignments.

 

[Vigilant]

Problem is, seeking things of the kingdom is where it gets complicated for the mind, and frustrating for the heart that the mind and what it has been programmed to run interference from its ability to nurture, much less exemplify, the seed of God that is planted therein. But if that mindset can be destroyed by any of several ways – which always involves some sort of suffering if to nothing else than the ego – that opens the door for the healing of the Holy Spirit, aka the Divine Therapist.

That last sentence is STOUT. Please excuse me if I paraphrase:

When we are properly disposed, physical suffering can open the door to spiritual healing and growth, through the works of the Holy Spirit.

This helps me immensely in understanding how it is that I have made significant spiritual progress here lately.

To the OP: sometimes, it seems that God just wants someone to suffer for Him, properly disposed. Every morning when I get up, I offer my day up to the Lord Jesus, through the Blessed Virgin, including all my suffering and discomfort, trials and tribulations, agony and anguish, to be united with His Passion and suffering on the Cross, and used as he and the Blessed Virgin see fit. It is not always easy to suffer gratefully, but I do my best in that regard, especially in retrospect, after the fact.

One day, if I come to learn that I was able to save even one soul from Hell, all my suffering will be a small price to pay.

Godspeed. Prayers en route.

 

[Rosarydevotion]

Dominy, I’m so sorry your suffering so bad. I understand how hard it is when you feel you have lost everything, because I’m going through the same. I lost my ability to work for a while as well. I totally get it. At times I feel that God has abandoned me too. However through intense prayer, God revealed to my why I had to suffer. It’s probabbly not the same reason you suffer, but just know that our suffering always does serve the greatest good in the end. And trust me, what I learned from four years of suffering, I would have never learned in an entire lifetime of having it easy.

As far as your health condition, I have learned in my case that God does want us to fight for our recovery or at least be the best we can be. He will lead you (if you let Him) to books, videos and such, to help you learn how to treat your illness or at least ease your pain.

If you suffer from anything neurological like anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, MS, etc. I highly recommend this book.

amazon.com/Isnt-Brain-Working-Revolutionary-Understanding/dp/0985690437/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1441467895&sr=1-1&keywords=why+isnt+my+brain+working

This man is a top neurologist and his work is groundbreaking, it helps people take control and their health through things we can do for ourselves.

God bless