God is gone?

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Meemai

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I have been strugling with depression I have overcome it kinda.

But it seems now I have a personality disorder, which explained to me why I never found people that would understand me or love me. But I thought I would find people that like me in my own kind of people. So I searched for schizoids knocked on they’re doors but they ended up not liking me.

So I was like where the **** do I go? And I didn’t know where the **** to go. Even here I got called a troll for my topics. And for this topic I will be called so again, it’s because no one can love me. Everyone is afraid of me. And I have no ****in place where I belong.

I wanted some place where I could be myself but I feel like a lion in a cage of tigers. And the tigers don’t like me. So what’s worth living like this? And where is God I prayed, I lit novena’s but nothing changed. I just went from ****ed up to more ****ed up. I don’t even feel like living.

And it hurts more and more more. There’s no hope for me… Why is God not here? I can’t pray anymore like this I can’t do it anymore. I am getting my confirmation in may but I’m thinking of leaving church cause where is God?
 
Yeah, I think you might want to edit this all with good, readable words and let us help ya out from there. Ok?

I can tell you this though…God is there. We are just too human to know it all the time. 🙂
 
DJgang said:
Yeah, I think you might want to edit this all with good, readable words and let us help ya out from there. Ok?

I can tell you this though…God is there. We are just too human to know it all the time. 🙂
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Never mind, shouldn’t have expected to much help from here. In the end the only people that come here are those that know God. I don’t know God so this is no place for me. I wanted to meet him but he gave me to many handicaps.

As for the wording there just ain’t no other words to use to describe it all. But I should have guessed it ain;'t apropiate for a catholic forum.So I shouldn’t even look for help here.

I’m sorry.
 
I’ve been depressed, I’ve lost God. Try again. Majority of us have been there. I just can’t make out your post.

Why is everyone afraid of you?

Please call a depression hotline now.
 
DJgang said:
I’ve been depressed, I’ve lost God. Try again. Majority of us have been there. I just can’t make out your post.

Why is everyone afraid of you?

Please call a depression hotline now.
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I’m a schizoid a personality disorder. People either find me creepy also due to my skin ilness. I have vitiligo. Or they make fun of me. I don’t understand why but people misread me. They don’t like me, don’t love me. I feel unloved. No one ever understood me.

Then there’s people talking about a God I can’t seem to find how hard I try. I can’t find him… I am losing faith and why wouldn’t I… If God wanted me to be with him he should help me make my life work but he did not. He promised to help but I can’t find him… I can only find more hardship.
 
Meemai said:
I’m a schizoid a personality disorder. People either find me creepy also due to my skin ilness. I have vitiligo. Or they make fun of me. I don’t understand why but people misread me. They don’t like me, don’t love me. I feel unloved. No one ever understood me.

Then there’s people talking about a God I can’t seem to find how hard I try. I can’t find him… I am losing faith and why wouldn’t I… If God wanted me to be with him he should help me make my life work but he did not. He promised to help but I can’t find him… I can only find more hardship.
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Oh goodness I’m gonna tell ya , people will make you lose your faith!!!

I’ve learned that we can’t look to people because guess what? They are not God! (I’m talking to myself as well!)

I think the most wonderful thing that we have as Catholics is a teaching or understanding that life is not perfect and life can be a suffering. We have this thing we do called ‘offering it up’ know what that means? That means we first UNITE our suffering with Christ on the cross… And then we take to heart scripture that tells us to take up our cross.

I’ll look up the scripture if you like so you can reference.

Recall Jesus asking God why had he forsaken him?

Wow! Doesn’t that sound like us sometimes? See even jesus had a slight moment where he wondered and asked.

So, people will let us down, lord knows that is given! Look what they did to Christ! Remember judas kissing him in the garden to give him away?

Now how do we handle this all? We offer our suffering for someone or something else. My preference : children about to be aborted. When I suffer, I pray they don’t have to! This refocuses my suffering for something good. Just like Jesus’s!

I sure hope this helps.
 
DJgang said:
Oh goodness I’m gonna tell ya , people will make you lose your faith!!!

I’ve learned that we can’t look to people because guess what? They are not God! (I’m talking to myself as well!)

I think the most wonderful thing that we have as Catholics is a teaching or understanding that life is not perfect and life can be a suffering. We have this thing we do called ‘offering it up’ know what that means? That means we first UNITE our suffering with Christ on the cross… And then we take to heart scripture that tells us to take up our cross.

I’ll look up the scripture if you like so you can reference.

Recall Jesus asking God why had he forsaken him?

Wow! Doesn’t that sound like us sometimes? See even jesus had a slight moment where he wondered and asked.

So, people will let us down, lord knows that is given! Look what they did to Christ! Remember judas kissing him in the garden to give him away?

Now how do we handle this all? We offer our suffering for someone or something else. My preference : children about to be aborted. When I suffer, I pray they don’t have to! This refocuses my suffering for something good. Just like Jesus’s!

I sure hope this helps.
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I understand your answer. But how come I’m suffering more than I can’t take?
 
Please don’t give up. I know depression all too well. I know what it is like to have a personality disorder. I know what it is like to try to take your own life. I know what it is like to be in the metal ward, numerous times. We all have our crosses to bear. This is mine. All those things I have been with, I did not have God. I either had not come to that point in my life, and later I was so set on knowing I couldn’t get better, that I feel away. God is who get us through. He created us, we are His masterpiece. We see all our cracks, He sees His child. Jesus suffered more than we ever could for us. He suffered and died for you. The Holy Spirit is in us, guides us and leads us to God. Our Blessed Mother is there praying for us. We have an amazing family that we are an important part of. Stay in prayer. Ask to strengthened in faith. Share everything on your heart, leave nothing out. God knows what is on our heart but when we tell Him, that is where His love shines. Find a parish with a priest you can talk with. This is not something you have to do on your own. Keep praying. When things get unbearable, pray more. Read God’s Word as often as you can. The more we know God’s Word, the more we can live in the Light of His Word, which is Christ. Always hold on to Jesus. Never ever let go. Fight! Fight! Never stop fighting. God has not given up on you, please do not give up on Him.
 
Meemai said:
I understand your answer. But how come I’m suffering more than I can’t take?
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Whew, I remember those thoughts myself, lying in bed, crying, physically unable to get out of the bed… And know what, just got to take right now this moment. Do nothing crazy or stupid OK? Give it one more day and start offering this suffering. Have you ever tried that?

And is there just one person you can talk to right now that you know understands you? Not me, not strangers, anyone?

It’s Divine Mercy Sunday. Have you ever heard of this?
 
Meemai said:
I understand your answer. But how come I’m suffering more than I can’t take?
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But you are NOT suffering more than you and God can take together, that’s the thing. And He wants you to let Him help you through it. Perhaps you have some idea that you are supposed to cope on your own? That God won’t or doesn’t want to help you?
 
God is not gone; he just might not be where we’re looking.
 
Jesus understands you, even when we fail to understand you, even when you do not feel understood. Jesus does not find you creepy. Jesus is not afraid of you. Jesus is not repulsed by your conditions, nor does he mock them. Jesus is compassionate, understanding and entering into the deepest depths of the human condition.

Jesus is with you, even when we fail to be with you as you deserve, even when you do not understand or feel his presence.

Jesus loves you, even when we fail to love you as you deserve, even when you do not understand or feel his love.

Jesus is on your side, even when we fail to be on your side, even when you fail to be on your own side.

Jesus will never give up on you.
 
Meemai said:
I have been strugling with depression I have overcome it kinda.

But it seems now I have a personality disorder, which explained to me why I never found people that would understand me or love me. But I thought I would find people that like me in my own kind of people. So I searched for schizoids knocked on they’re doors but they ended up not liking me.

So I was like where the **** do I go? And I didn’t know where the **** to go. Even here I got called a troll for my topics. And for this topic I will be called so again, it’s because no one can love me. Everyone is afraid of me. And I have no ****in place where I belong.

I wanted some place where I could be myself but I feel like a lion in a cage of tigers. And the tigers don’t like me. So what’s worth living like this? And where is God I prayed, I lit novena’s but nothing changed. I just went from ****ed up to more ****ed up. I don’t even feel like living.

And it hurts more and more more. There’s no hope for me… Why is God not here? I can’t pray anymore like this I can’t do it anymore. I am getting my confirmation in may but I’m thinking of leaving church cause where is God?
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Try this website: nami.org

It is US based (I forgot where you are, but if you’re not in the US they may be able to direct you to other resources where you are).

They offer support groups and educational materials for people with mental illness and their families.

Are you in counseling? If not, I highly recommend it.
 
God is all loving. All caring. All merciful.

Pray to God. Ask him to guide you. To help you in your life. Be patient.

Things don’t happen overnight for everyone. God loves you and will help you. You have to have faith. Even in the depths of despair, have faith. Even when you feel all is lost, have faith. It is when things are going bad that we need to have faith. When times are good things are easy.

Dear Lord, please help this person to come close to you. To feel your love. To feel your warmth. To feel your mercy. Dear Lord, please let this person receive from you the answers they seek, the love they desire, the comfort they need.

If it is your will Oh Lord, let me take on board their pains so that they may be free to live in the love of your spirit. Without suffering. In complete peace.

I love you Dear Lord. And beg you to help this soul.
 
Meemai said:
I have been strugling with depression I have overcome it kinda.

But it seems now I have a personality disorder, which explained to me why I never found people that would understand me or love me. But I thought I would find people that like me in my own kind of people. So I searched for schizoids knocked on they’re doors but they ended up not liking me.

So I was like where the **** do I go? And I didn’t know where the **** to go. Even here I got called a troll for my topics. And for this topic I will be called so again, it’s because no one can love me. Everyone is afraid of me. And I have no ****in place where I belong.

I wanted some place where I could be myself but I feel like a lion in a cage of tigers. And the tigers don’t like me. So what’s worth living like this? And where is God I prayed, I lit novena’s but nothing changed. I just went from ****ed up to more ****ed up. I don’t even feel like living.

And it hurts more and more more. There’s no hope for me… Why is God not here? I can’t pray anymore like this I can’t do it anymore. I am getting my confirmation in may but I’m thinking of leaving church cause where is God?
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My dear friend,

I am sorry to hear of your dilemma. You are not a schizoid, you are a human being. Don’t lable yourself such and do not allow others to. I won’t carry on but God through His providence has likely set you aside for heaven if you have the types of sickness you indicate. A small price to pay we all find out later. You can cope and God does help you. People have no idea how much God helps them. It is best to just trust God and have faith and do His will best you can here no matter what. You will find out everything on judgment day and like all will be absolutely shocked at how good God is and endless things you have no idea at all about how much God helped you. You will learn all the what-if hypothetical scenarios etc etc etc the whole lot about you, everyone and everything. You will change too. Trust God for now please. We all have tough times here but it’s not Gods fault. Later God will reveal everything to you and you will be blown away God is so good when you know all. Just trust God for now. God is everywhere. He is not gone. People leave God, God never leaves them. But there is many reasons why God can seem absent though He is not. Trust God. God loves you and is caring for you, have no doubt. You will see and understand all later. Trust now please. I’m praying for you, remeber me too please.

Blessings and peace to you +++

John
 
God is definitely NOT gone but sometimes he tests people to see if they will still have faith in him if he does certain things, he is right there, I know it is hard to believe but trust me.
 
Meemai said:
I understand your answer. But how come I’m suffering more than I can’t take?
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I think we all feel like that at times my friend. :grouphug:
There is a Scripture verse that’s helped me through some of my struggles, I don’t know, maybe it will help you. Mt 11:28-30 “Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light.”

It took me forever to really get this. I’ve had moments where I’m like “Jesus, what the heck were you talking about, this has been ANYTHING but light!!!” But finally, I think it’s gotten through my thick skull. (Sort of) The burden that he takes away isnt our sufferings, isn’t our pain, it’s their futility. My sufferings, your sufferings…our very existence MEAN something when we give our lives completely to Him. Suffering is not the end of the story. He can use our sufferings, not only for our purification, but for others. God isn’t distant in our sufferings, He’s actually closest to us then, though we don’t always feel it.

God, the source of all existence, suffered and died, was tortured and mocked and ignored by the people He created and loved. He suffers with us when we do, and He strengthens us. And He did that for YOU my friend. God did that out of love. No one can look at the cross and see indifference. You matter so much to Him, He wants you to be joined with Him in Heaven.

Think about that, us going to heaven does absolutely nothing for Him. He doesn’t gain anything, but we gain everything!! Sometimes He has to use pain to wake us up to what really matters. If there was no sin we wouldn’t need that. But because we sin, we get pretty stupid, and don’t see things in their proper perspective. Suffering fixes that, if we let it though.

I think it might help to read Isaiah 53. That chapter describes the suffering of the Messiah. Every time I read that my brain explodes. I DID that to Him. My sins are so great against an all holy God who created me out of love. He could have left me where I was. But instead, He dived in. He showed what sin really is, what it does to our relationship to God and our neighbors, and He showed me the way out.

He’s your only way out my friend. Don’t give up, He DOES love you. Let Him do what He needs to do. This is the only way to peace. And not just peace, but Joy, an intense happiness.
 
Do not focus on your depression and on the things you cannot change. Strive to grow closer to God no matter the circumstances. As you pray, do not listen to how you feel and think it wouldn’t work. So many times we victimize ourselves thinking that we are worthless and that everyone in the world hope to be as far away from us as possible. That is totally not true. God wants to be as close to us as possible no matter our mental or physical condition. Continue to pray and walk in His ways. Eventually the light which you reflect from the love of God will heal your pains and draw friends to you.

Accept that sufferings that you are feeling now, unite them with the sufferings of our Lord Jesus Christ. Be sure and firm in your will that He is always there with you no matter in the state of grace or in sin. Be sure that He wills the best for you and will never forsake you. Be sure that He loves you as though you are the only one.

Pax Tecum
 
Dear Friend,

I recommend that you meditate devoutly and often on how Our Lord was utterly rejected by men and how he suffered the cruelest tortures by men for you and for your salvation … and then I suggest that you spend your time consoling Our Lord rather than spending any time dwelling on your pain and feelings of alienation. He is with you and is your Best Friend, even when it feels like He is rejecting you. You feel like He is giving you more than you can bear: This is because you need to await patiently with holy confidence His saving help, which will come at the time best suited for your spiritual welfare. God is with you, whether you feel him or not; and He sends the greatest trials to those he loves most. God bless you!

In Jesu et Maria,
ready
 
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